THE  GIFT  OF 

MAY  TREAT  MORRISON 

IN  MEMORY  OF 

ALEXANDER  F  MORRISON 


&ll  glttonugs  tofjo  toant 

&  anient. 


ADVENTURES 


AN   ATTORNEY 


SEARCH  OF  PRACTICE 


By   SAMUEL   WARREN, 

AUTHOR  OF  "DIARY  OF  A  PHYSICIAN,"   "  LA~.V  STUDIES, "    ETC.,   ETC. 


"Est  enim  haec,  judices,  non  scripta  sod  nata  k'x:  quam  non  didici- 
raus,  accepimus  legimus;  veruni  ex  natura  ipsa  arripuimaa,  hausimus, 
expressimus ;  ad  quam  non  docti,  Bed  facti ;  non  instituti,  sed  iinbnti 
ramus."-  Cic. 


CHICAGO : 

JAMES    COCKCROFT    &    COMPANY. 

1872. 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2008  with  funding  from 

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http://www.archive.org/details/adventuresofattoOOwarr 


r  'v. 


ADVENTURES,  &c. 


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CHAPTER    I. 

^ 

■'  Quos  clients  nemo  habere  velit.' 

'— Cic. 

S  There  is  something  vastly  agreeable  in  th< 

■c       first  day  of  a  professional  life ;  clerkship,  servi- 
jv       tude,  and  drudgery  are  all  at  an  end;  one  no 
longer  asks  the  hour,  with  sore  consciousness 
of  being  too  late  for  office,  or  dire  misgivings 
\^      of  having   being   inquired   for;    and   racking 
one's  wits  in  vain  for  some  new  excuse,  not  yet 
\^     exhausted,  of  "  gone  to  the  Temple,"  "  examin- 
es    ing  an  abstract,"  or   "  serving  a  notice !  "     I 
\a    was  in  such  a  desperate  hurry  to  begin,  that 
though  I  had  not  a  client  nor  the  dream  of  one, 
and  was  filled  with  lofty  ambition  to  do  the 
^>  thing  well,  and  start  with  all  the  magnificence 
of  a  house,  I  had  not  patience  to  wait  till  I 


2  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

could  find  one,  but  engaged  a  first  floor  over  a 
shop,  bought  a  desk  and  half-a-dozen  chairs 
second-band,  incarcerated  the  first  stray  lad  I 
could  catch,  in  a  dark  cell  eight  feet  by  six, 
tied  up  old  precedents  with  new  tape,  and  then 
painted  my  name  gorgeously  on  the  door  posts 
with  all  the  dignity  of  "  Mr.  Sharpe,  Solicitor," 
at  full  length. 

Such  was  my  self-complacency  at  the  inde- 
pendence of  my  novel  position,  that  I  believe  I 
rung  my  hand-bell  for  my  clerk  half  a  score  of 
times  in  the  course  of  an  hour,  merely  for  the 
pleasure  of  having  it  answered;  though  there 
was  charity  in  the  act,  for  without  this  stimulus 
to  attention,  he  would  inevitably  have  gone  to 
sleep  for  lack  of  better  employment.  "  Well," 
I  thought  to  myself,  "  here  I  am  at  last,  and 
there's  an  end  to  Blackstone  and  Tidd,  and 
Barton's  Precedents,  and  all  that  for  the  pres- 
ent; and  as  to  leases,  and  settlements,  and 
wills,  they  are  bad  enough  to  be  sure,  in  any 
view  of  the  case,  but  at  all  events  I  shall  draw 
them  to  pay  myself,  and  that  is  something." 
And  thus  comforting  myself  for  the  plague  of 
prospective  labor,  I  eyed  the  grave  red-lettered 
calf-skin,  resumed  the  newspaper,  read  every 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  6 

advertisement,  and  finally  gaped  out  of  the 
window  in  vain  speculation  of  finding  a  client 
in  some  passer  by. 

How  long  this  interesting  state  of  indolent 
expectation  might  have  continued,  had  I  waited 
for  clients  to  come  to  me,  I  cannot  say,  hut 
after  a  week  or  two  I  began  to  find  it  as  ennuy- 
ant  as  it  was  profitless,  and  resolved,  as  nobody 
seemed  willing  to  find  me  out,  to  try  my  luck 
in  finding  out  them.  It  was  very  clear  that  my 
extraordinary  merits  were  still  unknown,  and  an 
attorney,  though  he  ought  certainly  to  "  blush 
unseen,"  if  he  blushes  at  all,  cannot  by  any 
means  afford  to  waste  his  sweetness  on  the  desert 
air.  Hence  I  changed  my  plan ;  left  word  with 
my  clerk  that  if  any  body  called  I  was  "  gone 
to  the  Temple,"  and  sallied  forth  on  a  Paul  Pry 
expedition  among  all  my  friends  and  acquaint- 
ances; but  I  verily  believe  that  the  demon  of 
ill-luck,  if  there  is  such  a  deity  in  heathen 
mythology,  presided  over  my  first  essays.  Not 
a.  soul  had  called  on  me  for  three  weeks,  except 
two  or  three  idle  lads  to  see  "  how  I  got  on," 
when,  while  engaged  on  one  of  my  marauding 
expeditions,  a  certain  noble  lord  of  very  large 
property,  hitherto  unprovided  with  a  solicitor, 


4  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

and  to  whom  I  had  been  favorably  mentioned 
by  a  common  relative,  drove  up  to  my  door,  and 
called  to  instruct  me  to  file  an  information 
against  the  trustees  of  an  important  charity. 
"  Gone  to  the  Temple  "  was  as  unintelligible  to 
his  noble  ears  as  if  my  clerk  had  reported  me 
"  gone  to  the  devil;"  perhaps,  in  his  opinion 
the  expressions  were  synonymous,  as  in  truth,  1 
have  often  considered  them  myself:  however 
this  may  be,  I  never  saw  any  more  of  his  lord- 
ship, or  heard  another  syllable  of  his  instruc- 
tions, (except  that  another  solicitor  had  filed  the 
information,)  though  on  three  successive  morn- 
ings I  left  my  card  at  his  mansion  in  Grosvenor 
Square;  at  no  cost  of  time,  for  I  had  nothing 
else  to  do,  but  at  an  immense  expense  of  coach- 
hire,  omnibuses  not  then  being  in  fashion.  It 
is  all  for  the  best :  I  have  since  seen  and  heard 
much  of  his  lordship ;  he  is  a  worthy  man,  but 
his  notions,  however  becoming  his  high  rank, 
would  never  have  agreed  with  my  temper  at 
that  early  time  of  day;  and  had  we  quarrelled, 
I  should  have  lost  clients  in  his  connexion  that 
I  have  still  retained,  and  value  far  more  highly. 
This  was  a  bad  beginning,  but  I  made  the 
best  of  it,  as  has  been  my  rule  through  life;   a 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  5 

wealthy  client  of  noble  rank  is  a  prize  to  any 
man,  but  to  a  beginner  at  the  age  of  four-and- 
twenty,  the  loss  of  him  is  a  serious  affair;  so  I 
complained  to  my  friends  of  my  bad  fortune, 
wondered  how  anybody,  noble  or  plebeian, 
could  be  so  unreasonable  as  to  expect  to  find  a 
man  of  business  always  at  home  without  mak- 
ing an  appointment,  and  a  few  days  after  was 
solaced  by  a  call  from  a  gentleman  that  1  had 
long  known,  who  wished  for  my  advice  on  a 
case  where  he  clearly  had  not  a  leg  to  stand  on ; 
and  so  I  told  him. 

"  But  must  I  lose  the  money,  Sharpe  ?  " 

"  I  am  afraid  so." 

"  Then  you  think  there  is  nothing  in  it?  " 

"  I  won't  go  so  far  as  that,  but  I  think  you 
are  wrong." 

"  Uinph !  a  pretty  joke  to  let  this  villain  rob 
me  in  this  way !  I  thought  you  would  get  me 
out  of  it;  but  you  say  you  are  not  certain.  I 
should  like  to  ask  Mr.  Scarlett." 

Lord  Abinger  at  that  time  ruled  the  day.  I 
suggested  the  opinion  of  a  junior  counsel,  as 
more  easily  attainable,  and  the  opinion  was 
taken.  It  confirmed  mine,-  but  my  client  was 
still  dissatisfied ;  he  went  to  another  attorney, 


6  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

who  brought  the  action,  and  succeeding  by 
Scarlett's  aid,  against  law  and  reason,  swamped 
my  oredit;  for  though  the  plaintiff  has  been  my 
friend,  and  a  kind  one  too,  for  more  than 
twenty  years,  he  has  never  again  been  my  client 
from  that  day  to  this.  I  met  him  a  few  days 
after  the  trial,  and  our  conversation  was  rather 
amusing. 

"  Well,  Wright,  you  have  gained  the  day  !  " 
il  Yes,  to  be  sure  :  but  little  thanks  to  you." 
"I  admit  it;  for  I  still  think  you  were  all 
wrong." 

"  Ay;  but  wiser  folks  thought  me  all  right." 
"  Scarlett  never  thought  so,  whatever  the jury 
might." 

"But  Scarlett  did  think  so,  and  said  so." 
"  Oh  yes  !  he  told  the  jury  so  of  course,  and 
they  were  fools  enough  to  believe  him ;  but  did 
he  tell  you  so,  at  your  consultation  ?  " 

"  He  said  nothing  at  the  consultation !  he 
never  once  asked  me  to  sit  down;  but  he 
cocked  his  eye  at  the  attorney,  nodded  to  the 
other  counsel,  poked  the  fire,  and  I  saw  at  once 
it  was  all  right.  I  paid  two  guineas  or  more 
for  that  cock  of  the  eye ;  but  it  don't  matter  for 
that,  so  long  as  that  rascal  can't  rob  me  and 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  7 

lauo-h  at  me  to  boot ;  and  lie  would  have  done 
both,  had  I  followed  your  advice." 

"Well,  don't  cry  till  you  are  out  of  the 
wood;  he'll  move  for  a  new  trial,  and  will  get 
it,  take  my  word  for  it;  and  then  Scarlett  him- 
self will  tell  you  who  is  right." 

My  friend  made  a  wry  face  at  this  prediction, 
and  had  his  opponent  then  chanced  to  meet 
with  him,  and  taken  him  between  wind  and 
water,  he  would  gladly  have  drawn  stakes ;  but 
as  my  ill-luck  would  have  it,  I  was  again  out, 
for  a  new  trial  was  not  moved  for,  my  friend 
recovered  damages  and  costs,  and  has  ever  since 
voted  me  a  fool,  and  himself  the  very  cleverest 
biped  in  creation :  yet  the  case  was  as  clear  as 
the  daylight.  I  earned,  by  this  matter,  £2.  14s. 
(id.,  and  lost  my  client  and  my  legal  repute  into 
the  bargain 

\Veeks  and  even  months  rolled  on,  and  my 
neat  new  floorcloth  was  still  scarcely  soiled  by 
a  trace  of  rich  city  mud,  my  desk  was  yet  un- 
stained by  ink,  my  red  tape  retained  its  virgin 
bloom,  my  papers  had  not  gathered  an  ounce 
of  "  blacks,"  my  clerk  had  acquired  an  habitual 
deze,  and  even  my  hand-bell  seemed  to  have  lost 
its   power   of  disturbing  his   siesta!     Matters 


8  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

looked  desperate,  and  some  extraordinary  effort 
must  be  made  to  maintain  appearances  ?  Things 
were  in  this  state  when  I  received  a.  call  from  a 
venerable  old  gentleman,  for  whom  I  had  been 
actively  employed  in  my  clerkship.  Though  I 
had  almost  jumped  up  in  ecstacy  at  the  un- 
wonted sound  of  voices  in  the  outer  room,  I  felt 
bitter  disappointment  when  my  visitor  was 
ushered  in ;  for  I  inferred  that  his  object  could 
only  be  to  discuss  old  business  of  which  I 
thought  I  had  taken  leave  for  ever,  or  to  bother 
me  with  the  yet  more  provoking  inquiry  after 
papers  or  documents  long  since  sent  to  the 
tomb  of  the  Capulets.     I  was  mistaken. 

'  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  have  been  at  a  stand-still  ever 
since  I  lost  you  :  nobody  understands  my  case  : 
nobody  will  read  my  papers :  I  have  to  begin 
again,  and  go  over  all  the  old  ground, — what 
can  I  do  ?  " 

"  Tell  me  how  I  can  help  you,  and  I  will  with 
all  my  heart." 

"  You  must  take  the  business  into  your  own 
hands." 

"  That  would  be  unfair  to  my  late  masters," 

"  They  wish  it  themselves." 

I  inquired  into  the  fact,  and  found  it  was  so. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  9 

I  cannot  consistently,  with  the  mask  that  I  am 
obliged  to  assume,  mention  their  names ;  and 
if  I  could,  my  testimony  to  their  liberal  and 
generous  behaviour  could  add  but  little  to  the 
very  distinguished  station  which  they  have 
long  and  deservedly  occupied  in  the  profession. 
This  old  gentleman  was  the  claimant  of  prop- 
erty exceeding  half  a  million  sterling.  I  believe 
that  it  was  nearly  double  that  amount,  but  I 
never  accurately  learnt  the  sum.  He  was  a 
man  of  first-rate  abilities  and  wonderful  reso- 
lution ;  he  had  been  engaged  for  a  quarter  of  a 
century  in  prosecuting  this  claim,  and  had 
accumulated  papers  upon  it  sufficient  to  load  a 
coal-wagon.  Disappointment,  however,  had 
attended  all  his  efforts :  he  had  three  times 
memorialized  the  special  tribunal  which  parlia- 
ment had  appointed  for  the  investigation  of  his 
and  similar  cases,  and  he  had  three  times  been 
turned  back.  In  this  dilemma,  he  was  recom- 
mended to  apply  to  the  eminent  house  to  which 
I  have  alluded ;  his  papers  were  in  a  foreign 
language  which  I  alone  in  the  office  under- 
stood; and  hence  he  was  handed  over  to  my 
care.  When  I  left  the  office,  I  had,  by  dint  of 
immense  exertion,  reduced  his  voluminous 
1* 


10       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

papers  to  a  manageable  form,  and  put  the  mat- 
ter in  such  a  simple  train  for  explanation,  that 
I  never  dreamt  of  my  further  aid  being  required. 
It  is  difficult,  however,  for  the  ablest  man  to 
take  up  another's  work ;  and  poor  Mr.  Boyle 
soon  found  himself  at  sea  with  my  successor. 
Had  I  at  this  time  made  a  bargain  with  him, 
he  felt  his  case  so  beset  with  difficulties,  and  so 
likely  to  survive,  if  not  to  murder  him,  for  he 
was  then  seventy-two,   that  he  would  gladly 
have  allowed  me  rive  per  cent,   on  all  that  I 
might  recover ;  indeed,  he  hinted  as  much ;  but 
I  neither  then  nor  now  think  such  a  mode  of 
doing  business  quite  honest,  or  at  least,  respec- 
table.    When  relieved  from  all  scruples  of  deli- 
cacy, by  the  kindness  of  his  former  solicitors,  I 
resumed  the  case  with  all  the  energy  I  could 
command.     His  age  prevented  his  daily  coming 
to   me;  and   consequently,   I  spent   my   time, 
often  extending  far  into  night,  at  his  house.     I 
succeeded  for  him  to  the  full  extent  of  his  de- 
mand ;    but  not  till  my  statement  of  it,  and 
my  proofs,   had   been   submitted  to  the  keen 
scrutiny  and  close  consideration  of  that  clear- 
headed statesman,  the  late  Mr.  Huskisson.     I 
shall  not  soon  forget  the  grateful  elation  with 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  11 

which  Mr.  Boyle  announced  to  me  his  success. 
He  had  been  laboring  for  years  in  vain.  He 
had  spent  life's  best  existence  in  painful  re- 
search, in  self-denying  privation,  in  prison,  in 
want,  and  in  personal  danger ;  resolved  never 
to  abandon,  but  with  life  itself,  the  prosecution 
of  a  case  which  afforded  him  the  only  prospect 
of  satisfying  creditors  who  owed  their  losses  to 
his  most  unmerited  misfortunes.  He  had  at 
length  triumphed.  He  frankly  and  gratefully 
acknowledged  that  he  owed  that  triumph  essen- 
tially to  my  intelligence  and  industry.  He  was 
placed  by  it  in  circumstances,  not  only,  of  inde- 
pendence, but  of  wealth,  even  after  paying  to  the 
uttermost  farthing  every  sixpence  that  he  owed  ; 
and  to  his  honor  it  should  be  added  that  efflux- 
ion of  time  had  long  extinguished  every  legal 
liability.  His  creditors  nobly  acknowledged 
his  merit,  for  they  not  only  returned  him  the 
interest  on  their  debts,  but  presented  him  with 
an  estate  which  cost  them  sixty  thousand 
pounds.  He  called  for  my  bill,  and  I  looked 
on  my  fortune  as  made :  it  somewhat  exceeded 
forty-one  pounds,  five  shillings,  and  sixpence, 
and  was  paid  to  a  fraction;  but  I  lost  my 
client!     I  did  afterwards  conduct  for  him  an 


12  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

appeal  to  the  privy  council,  involving  a  com- 
paratively trifling  sum  of  five  or  six  thousand 
pounds,  and  I  lost  it  on  a  point  of  law.     He 
was  too  noble-minded  to  have  resented  this,  as 
the  failure  was  not  mine.     I  attribute  his  deser- 
tion of  me  to  a  very  different  cause,  and  one 
which,  I  fear,  vindicated  it  to  his  own  mind. 
Having  paid  his  creditors  in  full,  he  wished  to 
supersede   his   bankruptcy.      The   commission 
was  of  nearly  thirty  years'  date ;  he  was  very 
old  and  infirm ;  and  I  collected  from  him  that 
complicated  and  serious  accounts  were  still  out- 
standing between  him  and  the  estate  of  his  de- 
ceased partner.     I  deprecated  the  supersedeas 
of  his   bankruptcy,    lest  it   should   rip    open 
differences  which  costly  and  perennial  litigation 
alone  could  settle:    he  could  not  comprehend 
the  difficulty,  and,  I  fear,  ascribed  it  to  motives 
that  he  disdained, — a  wish  to  protect  him  by 
technical    defense,    from    obligations    that  he 
knew  were  just.     If  this  was  not  the  cause  of 
his  alienation  from  me,  I  know  it  not  to  this 
hour;  but  so  dire  was  the  offense  that  I  un- 
consciously gave  him,  that  he  limited  his  grati- 
tude strictly  to  my  demand,  and  cut  me  from 
that  day,  or  nearly  so,  to  the  day  of  his  death, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  13 

twelve  years  after.  I  have  met  with  many  un- 
accountable disappointments  in  my  professional 
career,  but  few  of  them  have  been  more  myster- 
ious to  me,  than  how  I  happened  to  offend  this 
venerable  client,  by  recovering  for  him  half  a 
million  of  money  under  desperate  circumstances, 
at  a  cost  of  £41.  os.  6d. 

This  disappointment  mortified  me  much  at 
the  time,  and  even  still  I  feel  it;  but  somehow 
or  other  I  gradually  crept  on  in  connexion, 
though  still  destined  to  lose  my  clients  as 
rapidly  as  I  acquired  them.  I  have  always  had 
the  credit  of  being  a  good-natured  fellow  :  it  is 
the  worst  reputation  that  an  attorney  can  enjoy  ; 
he  may  be  as  acid  as  Sir  Vicary  Gibbs  (my 
younger  readers  will  scarcely  understand  the 
allusion),  as  roguish  as  Ikey  Solomons  (this 
conies  nearer  the  present  day),  as  ignorant  of 
law  as  my  Lord  P> (nobody  will  misunder- 
stand this),  and  yet,  if  he  is  not  unluckily  a 
good-natured  fellow,  he  will  make  money  and 
retain  clients.  A  reverend  clergyman,  whom  1 
had  known  intimately  at  Cambridge,  had  a 
pretty  servant-girl.  The  pretty  servant-girl  had 
previously  lived  in  a  wealthy  family  of  rank, 
where   she   had    given    great    satisfaction ;    so 


14  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

great,  that  she  looked  for  higher  wages,  and 
these  being  refused,  she  took  herself  off.  A 
pretty  girl  is  not  likely  to  be  long  out  of 
place,  if  she  conducts  herself  decently,  and  very 
soon  she  found  one  to  her  heart's  content ;  but 
character  was  required,  and  her  former  mistress 
being  piqued  at  her  abrupt  departure,  declared 
her  to  be  all  that  was  excellent,  but  nodded  her 
head,  and  added  that  she  was  "  unsteady."  A 
nod  of  the  head,  whether  from  a  prime  minister 
or  a  prima  donna,  is  no  trifle ;  the  pretty,  but 
"  unsteady  "  services  of  the  girl  were  rejected ; 
the  fair  one  took  refuge  with  the  reverend 
gentleman;  and  he  appealed,  with  Quixotic 
benevolence,  to  my  confounded  good-nature  to 
see  the  girl  "  righted."  I  brought  an  action 
for  the  libel,  against  my  pleader's  advice  this 
time,  for  I  had  had  experience  enough  of  being 
too  clear-sighted;  I  laid  the  damages  high; 
assigned  as  many  mischievous  inuendoes  to  the 
word  "  unsteady,"  as  an  Irishman  reeling  along 
in  all  his  glory  could  have  devised;  and, 
against  all  reason,  law,  and  common  sense,  re- 
covered a  hundred  pounds,  when  as  many  pence 
would  have  been  ample  indemnity.  A  new 
trial  was  moved  for,  and  of  course  obtained,  on 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  15 

payment  of  costs  by  the  defendant.  The  costs 
were  paid ;  the  record  again  brought  down ; 
the  cause  called  on;  the  jury  sworn;  and  then 
the  defendant  cried  peccavi !  offered  to  submit 
to  the  damages  assessed  before,  and  pay  all 
costs  of  the  second  trial.  "What  man  in  his 
sober  senses  would  reject  such  overtures !  Of 
course  I  acceded  to  them,  packed  up  my  briefs, 
and  bolted.  The  costs  were  very  heavy,  for 
witnesses  had  been  subpoenaed  to  rebut  the 
pleas  of  justification.  I  write  from  recollection, 
but  if  my  memory  does  not  deceive  me,  the 
taxed  costs  between  party  and  party  were  more 
than  <£300.  My  extra  costs  would  have  swal- 
lowed up  the  damages,  but  my  "  good-nature  " 
would  only  accept  those  out  of  pocket,  about 
thirty  pounds;  leaving  the  pretty  "  unsteady  " 
lass  seventy  to  comfort  herself  with,  on  the 
strength  of  which  she  married  a  very  steady 
baker  in  less  than  a  month.  But  again  I  lost 
my  reverend  client!  "Was  ever  such  a  gross 
dereliction  of  duty !  to  submit  to  a  dastardly 
compromise;  to  spare  the  well-deserved  ex- 
posure !  such  scandalous  oppression !  such  un- 
heard-of, such  base,  such  unprecedented  calumny 
on  a  poor,  helpless,  unfriended  girl !  and  her 


16  ADVENTURES   OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

own  attorney,  after  taking  up  her  cause  '  good- 
naturedly,'  benevolently,  and  boldly,  to  cow 
before  tbe  front  of  cruelty,  and  the  pride  of  rank 
and  purse  !!!'*'  &c.  &c.  &c.  So  my  reverend 
friend  bade  me  good-by ;  transferred  his  patron- 
age and  his  business  elsewhere;  and,  though 
v7e  have  once  or  twice,  during  the  last  twenty 
years,  met  on  cool  and  distant  terms,  I  have 
never  seen  him  or  any  of  his  connexion,  within 
the  walls  of  my  office,  from  that  hour  to  this. 
"We  were  previously  on  terms  of  intimacy. 

My  "  good  nature  "  has  been  eternally  in  my 
way;  another  early  incident  of  my  professional 
life  will  show  this  in  another  light.  In  the  last 
instance,  it  led  me  into  the  folly  of  espousing  a 
bad  case  on  its  merits,  on  the  solicitation  of  an 
ass  who  could  not  understand  its  demerits ;  and 
though  I  won  the  case,  I  lost  the  blockhead's 
business,  which  was  far  better  worth  gaining ; 
but  the  next  folly  into  which  my  "  good  nature  " 
plunged  me  entailed  with  it  loss  of  time,  trouble, 
money,  and  connexion  too,  simply  because  I 
laid  people  under  obligations,  who  were  too 
poor  to  discharge  them,  and  too  proud  to 
acknowledge  them !  and,  perhaps  I  should  say, 
too  mean  to  offer  that  indirect,  but  satisfactory 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  17 

acquittance  which  is  easily  won  by  the  favor- 
able introduction  of  a  young  professional  man 
to  the  circles  of  rank  and  wealth. 

I  had  still  next  to  nothing  to  do,  when  acci- 
dent brought  me  to  the  acquaintance  of  a  lady 
of  high  birth  and  considerable  property,  but 
whose  affairs  were  deeply,  though  not  irretriev- 
ably involved.  The  peculiar  introduction  which 
I  had  to  her,  though  the  object  of  it  was  ex- 
pressly to  offer  my  professional  services,  com- 
pelled me,  as  I  thought,  to  offer  them  gratui- 
tously. They  were  accepted  with  an  avidity 
that  ought  to  have  made  me  distrustful  of  their 
value  being  appreciated :  but  I  had  undertaken 
no  trifling  duty;  there  were  bailiffs  to  baffle, 
duns  to  tranquilize,  annuitants  to  awe,  friends  to 
coax,  and,  in  a  word,  the  devil  to  pay.  How  I 
ever  got  through  it,  I  cannot  tell,  but  I  did  clear 
the  road;  and  finally, by  cutting  down  one  claim, 
compromising  another,  and  setting  at  defiance 
two  or  three  score,  till  they  willingly  took  a 
shilling  in  the  pound,  I  succeeded  in  extricat- 
ing my  "honorable"  client,  and  comfortably 
left  her  to  make  the  best  shift  she  could  on 
some  twelve  hundred  a-year.  I  was  never 
asked  for  my  costs,  nor  ever  asked  her  for  them, 


18  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

though  they  would  have  been  uo  trifle;  but  a 
year  or  two  after  I  casually  met  her  in  the 
park,  where  certainly  I  had  no  business  to  be. 
She  was  walking  with  a  female  relative. 

"  Good  morning,  Mrs.  Leighton :  it  is  a 
lovely  day." 

The  glass  to  the  eye,  and  a  distant  courtesy. 

"  I  wonder  that  the  park  is  so  deserted  in  this 
weather." 

A  second  courtesy,  partaking  rather  of  the 
bow.  If  I  have  too  much  good-nature,  I  cer- 
tainly seldom  want  assurance;  and  that  is  a 
kind  of  compensation-balance — a  good  set-off, 
as  my  brethren  would  say. 

"  Laura,  my  dear,  I  fear  the  carriage  will 
miss  us ;  "  and  so  saying,  my  "  honorable " 
client  was  meditating  an  escapade  closely  border- 
ing on  the  cut  direct.  I  resolved  this  should 
not  succeed. 

"  Apropos  of  the  carriage,  Mrs.  Leighton, 
had  you  any  more  trouble  with  that  rascal  h 
coach-maker,  Stiffspring  ? " 

"  Oh,  my  dear  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  declare  I  didn't 
know  you  !  don't  mention  the  fellow's  name ; 
you  quite  distress  me, — the  horrid  creature ! 
but  I  can't  stop  to  talk  now,  for  the  wind  is 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  19 

very  cold,  (it  was  a  sultry  day  in  July !)  I  shall 
see  you  soon,"  and  so  saying,  she  directly 
turned  back,  assuring  "Laura"'  that  the  carri- 
age must  have  gone  the  other  way.  I  pursued 
my  own ;  and  never  have  seen  her  since,  though 
I  hear  she  is  again  in  the  same  quagmire  in 
which  I  first  found  her :  and  there  she  may 
remain  for  me. 


20  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER  II. 

"Non  nostrum  inter  vos  ta~,tas  componere  lites."— Ecl.  III. 

It  was  my  destiny,  for  a  long  time,  to  fall  in 
with  most  unmanageable  clients.  I  have  no 
doubt  that  every  solicitor  who  has  to  make  his 
own  connexion,  as  it  is  called^  meets  with  the 
same  adventures,  more  or  less;  but  I  cannot 
help  thinking  that  I  have  had  more  than  my 
fair  share.  There  are  two  classes  of  clients 
that  I  have  always  found  especially  tickle  and 
difficult  to  please;  and  yet  in  the  first  instance, 
they  are  always  the  most  confiding  and  appar- 
ently the  most  docile.  Docility  is  a  great 
point  in  a  client:  some  attorneys  will  land 
ductility  as  a  better  virtue,  and  very  near  akin 
to  it;  I  will  not  dispute  this,  when  the  client 
has  the  other  properties  of  gold;  but  by  docil- 
ity, I  mean  something  between  ductility,  plia- 
bility, and  capability:    whereas  clients  of  the 


IN   SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  21 

classes  I  am  about  to  mention  have  very  sel- 
dom any  of  either  of  these  good  qualities  after 
their  first  or  second  interview. 

Whatever  wears  a  petticoat,  whether  ladies 
or  clergymen,  is  an  absolute  nuisance  in  an 
attorney's  office.  I  have  given  a  specimen  of 
both,  but  not  exactly  in  the  character  to  which 
I  now  allude. 

One  day  when  I  was  meditating  gravely 
on  the  past,  and  speculating  anxiously  on  the 
future,  each  foot  on  the  hob,  and  leaning  back 
in  my  office  chair,  which  began  now  to  exhibit 
a  little  of  the  professional  dignity  of  fading 
morocco,  a  portly  gentleman,  with  a  rosy  face 
that  confessed  to  a  daily  bottle  of  port  for  at 
least  forty  summers,  was  announced  as  "the 
Venerable  the  Archdeacon  Tithestraw."  I  rose, 
and  bowed,  and  offered  him  the  professional 
throne  on  which  I  had  been  myself  seated,  not, 
I  protest,  from  any  obsequious  deference,  though 
I  own  to  certain  pleasurable  anticipations  of 
an  exchequer  suit,  but  simply  because  my 
mind  misgave  me  as  to  the  sufficiency  of  any 
other  chair  in  the  room,  adequate  to  his  safe 
reception,  in  point  of  strength  and  capacity. 

"  You  are  a  Cambridge  man,  Mr.  Sharpe?" 


22       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

"I  have  that  honor,  Sir.' 

"May  I  ask  what  college?" 

So  many  Cantabrigian  sins  rushed  to  my 
conscience,  though  it  had  slumbered  over  them 
for  years  in  peace,  that  I  was  awe -struck  by 
the  interrogatory,  not  less  than  by  the  pom- 
posity of  his  tone,  and  the  inflated  dignity  of 
his  manner. 

"Certainly,  Sir;  but  excuse  me  for  first  in- 
quiring why  you  ask?" 

"  Sir,  I  am  unfortunately  compelled,  by  con- 
scientious principles,  to  embark  in  a  contro- 
versy of  the  most  painful  nature  with  one  of 
my  parishioners;  and  as  mine  is  a  peculiar, 
indeed  I  may  say  a  very  uncommon  case,  I 
would  fain  avail  myself  of  the  assistance  of  a 
legal  adviser  whose  sympathies,  not  less  than 
his  professional  zeal,  would  be  enlisted  in  my 
behalf.  I  heard  in  our  combination-room,  that 
you  and  I,  Sir,  were  both  children  of  the  same 
Alma  Mater,  and  hence  I  inquired  your  col- 
lege to  assure  myself  of  your  identity." 

This  long-winded  enunciation  of  himself 
and  his  business,  did  not  by  any  means  pre- 
possess me  in  favor  of  my  visitor:  however, 
six    and    eight-pence    is  worth    having,   come 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  23 

from  what  pocket  it  may,  so  I  declared  my  col- 
lege, and  satisfied  his  doubts:  he  then  proceeded. 

"It  is  most  painful,  Sir,  to  any  man  who 
feels  the  due  importance  of  the  pastoral  rela- 
tion, to  he  involved  in  a  controversy  with  a 
parishioner  about  the  temporalities  of  the 
church;  but  we  owe  a  duty  to  our  successors, 
which  is  too  frequently  opposed  to  our  natural 
inclination  to  yield,  rather  than  assert  by  law, 
our  most  undoubted  rights." 

The  sentiment  was  awfully  impressive,  and 
might  possibly  be  sincere.  I  bowed,  and 
hemmed  acquiescence. 

"I  need  not  remind  you,  Sir,  that  though 
in  the  present  day,  and  for  some  centuries 
past,  that  revolution  that  occurred  in  our 
ecclesiastical  polity  in  the  days  of  the  eighth 
Henry,  completely  secularized  all  property  in 
tithes,  and  subjected  them  to  the  manifold 
incidents  of  a  lay -fee,  yet  on  the  acknowl- 
edged principles  of  our  common  law,  spiritual 
persons  alone  are  entitled  to  receive  them." 

The  Archdeacon  now  became  awfully  learned ! 
I  again  bowed  and  hemmed,  but  with  some- 
what more  of  the  hem  critical,  than  the  hem 
acquiescent:  he  advanced  in  his  syllogism. 


24       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

"I,  Sir,  am  a  spiritual  person,  as  vay  card 
has  doubtless  assured  you.  I  am  the  vicar  of 
Dumbleton  cum  Quagland,  in  the  county  of 
Lincoln;  and  by  virtue  of  the  endowment,  I 
claim,  as  of  indisputable  right,  all  the  tithes 
of- hay,  wool,  agistment,  sheep,  calves,  poultry, 
and  garden  stuff,  and  all  oblations,  mortuaries, 
and  dues  thereto  belonging,  or  in  any  way 
appurtenant  to  the  same." 

It  admitted  of  no  question;  on  my  part  it 
would  have  been  downright  folly  to  doubt  it : 
my  assent  to  the  position  was  this  time  most 
cordial. 

"Easter  offerings,  Sir,  are,  as  you  of  course 
well  know,  dues  of  common  right." 

He  paused,  as  if  for  a  professional  confirma- 
tion of  the  dogma,  but  I  knew  nothing  about, 
it,  though  I  was  afraid  to  say  so.  My  policy 
was  to  parry  the  thrust  by  a  simple 

"Well,  Sir?' 

"I  may  be  wrong,  Sir;  I  do  not  pretend  to 
be  an  authority  in  such  matters,  but  the  slight 
research  which  my  clerical  duties  have  allowed 
me  to  make  into  them,  bas  taught  me  to  con- 
sider this  as  an  axiom  in  law;  for  I  find  it 
so    laid    down    by  my  Lord    Coke,  and   also 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  25 

recognized  in  the  learned  book  of  Peere  Wil- 
liams, 'for/  says  the  chief  baron  Gilbert,  'Eas- 
ter offerings  are  a  compensation  for  personal 
tithes,  or  as  other  authorities  maintain,  for  the 
tithe  of  personal  labor;  inasmuch  as  by  the 
statute  2  and  3  of  Edward  VI,  chap,  xiii,  sec. 
7,  it  is  enacted,  that  every  person  shall  yearly, 
at  or  before  Easter,  pay,  for  his  personal  tithe, 
the  tenth  part  of  his  clear  gain,  his  charges 
and  expenses  being  allowed  according  to  his 
degree." 

I  began  to  gasp  for  breath,  having  long 
since  been  out  of  my  depth,  but  my  venerable 
visitor  had  not  s;ot  to  the  beginning  of  his 
ease;  and  in  spite  of  exchequer  suits  in  view, 
I  trembled  at  the  prospect.  Silence  was  ob- 
viously my  cue,  and  I  allowed  him  to  go  on 
without  interruption. 

"It  was  determined  in  ISTewn  versus  Cham- 
berlain, 1  Equity  Cases  Abridged,  page  366, 
that  the  clear  profit  of  a  corn-mill  must  be 
reckoned  after  deducting  the  charge  of  erect- 
ing the  mill;  and  this  has  been  decided  over 
and  over  again,  for  which  see  Ambler,  Ver- 
non, Brown,  Lee,  and    many  other   old    and 

valuable  reports." 

9 


26  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

I  was  absolutely  in  consternation :  exami- 
nation before  admission  was  nothing  to  it;  I 
quaked  horribly,  and  could  only  still  reply : 

"Well,  Sir?" 

"Well,  Sir;  Peter  Tyler,  the  miller  at  Dum- 
bleton  cum  Quagland,  my  wealthiest  parish- 
ioner, sets  me  at  defiance,  and  insists  that  the 
sails  are  an  annual  charge  to  be  deducted 
from  his  clear  profits  before  he  will  pay  his 
personal  tithe  of  labor,  commonly  called  Eas- 
ter dues!" 

I  began  to  suspect  a  hoax,  but  it  was  not 
prudent  to  avow  the  suspicion. 

"I  thought,  Sir,  at  least  I  always  under- 
stood, that  two-pence  or  three-pence  per  head 
was  universally  recognized  as  the  rate  of 
Easter  dues!" 

"I  know  not  by  what  law  or  statute  that 
limit  can  be  prescribed,  Sir,  nor  do  I  know 
any  precedent  that  can  overrule  the  act  of 
Edward  the  Sixth.  Will  you  favor  me  with 
a  case,  Sir?" 

I  was  convinced  the  man  was  hoaxing  me, 
and  I  resolved  to  be  even  with  him. 

"The  case  of  Twitch  and  Tweakem  is  de- 
cisive on  that  point." 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  27 

"Twitch  and  Tweakem,"  taking  out  his 
pocket-book  and  noting  it  down:  "have  the 
goodness  to  refer  me  to  the  report." 

'You  will  find  it,"  I  said,  turning  over  a 
common  place  book  with  nothing  in  it,  "at 
page  551  of  Quotem's  Reports,  vol.  15." 

But  there  was  no  joking  in  the  matter:  he 
returned  to  me  the  next  day  to  tell  me  that 
he  had  been  to  the  Temple  and  Lincoln's 
Inn  libraries,  and  even  to  the  British  Museum, 
but  could  discover  neither  the  case  nor  the 
book. 

"Very  likely,  Sir;  it  is  extremely  scarce, 
and  not  to  be  met  with,  except  by  sheer  acci- 
dent; but  what  do  you  wish  me  to  do?" 

"I  wish  you  to  compel  Peter  Tyler,  Sir,  to 
render  an  account,  a  true  and  just  account,  of 
his  clear  annual  profits;  and  in  a  case,  Sir, 
like  this,  where  the  interests  of  the  church  (of 
which  I  am  an  unworthy  minister)  are  at 
stake,  I  am  willing  to  bear  any  reasonable 
expense,  even  if  it  should,  by  the  tedious  un- 
certainty of  the  law,  (for  which  I  blame  no 
one)  absorb  twenty,  or  thirty,  or  peradventure 
fifty  pounds." 

I  could  scarcely  forbear  a  laugh  at  the  mag- 


28       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

nificence  of  his  proffered  martyrdom  to  the  gen- 
eral interests  of  the  church;  or  at  the  naivete 
with  which  he  thought  to  disguise,  under  such 
a  flimsy  veil,  a  splenetic  and  vindictive  feeling 
against  the  poor  miller  of  Dumbleton  cum 
Quagland:  on  my  assuring  him  that  he  must 
reckon  on  costs  upon  a  ten -fold  scale,  he 
applied  his  snow-white  cambric  to  his  olfac- 
tory organ,  replaced  his  shovel-hat  upon  his 
brows,  and  with  most  dignified  courtesy  bade 
me  good-morning.  I  never  heard  what  be- 
came of  Peter  Tyler  and  his  mill,  nor  whether 
my  estimate  of  costs,  or  my  joke,  had  settled 
the  point,  but  I  did  hear,  that  shortly  after- 
wards the  venerable  archdeacon  was  a  trustee 
defendant  in  an  important  cause  in  which  I 
was  retained  by — nobody! 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  29 


CHAPTER    III. 

"  Lucent  genialibus  altis 
Aurea  fulcra  toris,  epulseque  ante  ora  paratae 
Regifico  luxu :  Furiarum  maxima  juxta 
Accubat,  et  manibus  prohibet  contingere  mensas, 
Exsurgitque  facem  attollens." — .Ex.  VI. 

I  was  still  musing  on  my  misfortunes,  for 
lack  of  other  more  interesting  topics  of  pro- 
fessional meditation,  when  about  ten  days  after 
this  mortifying  discovery,  a  ticket-porter  came 
bustling  up  to  my  office  door,  bearing  an 
antiquated  box  well  protected  by  iron  clamps, 
corded  and  locked,  and  duly  directed  to  Greg- 
ory Sharpe,  Esq.,  Attorney  at  Law,  &c,  "to 
be  kept  dry,  this  side  uppermost,"  and  all  the 
rest  of  it.  The  man  demanded  fifteen  shillings 
for  the  carriage,  and  two  more  for  the  porter- 
age ;  but  where  it  came  from,  except  from  that 
Maelstorm  of  parcels  and  passengers,  the  Golden 
Cross,  or  what  it  contained,  he  knew  no  more 
than  the  dead.     I  again  suspected  a  hoax  of 


30  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

stones  and  brickbats,  by  way  of  apology  for 
demanding  seventeen  shillings,  but  there  was  a 
sweet  promise  about  the  venerable  chest,  which 
determined  me  on  venturing,  and  I  paid  for, 
and  received  the  charge.  Day  after  day,  and 
week  after  week  passed  over,  but  no  explanatory 
letter  arrived;  and  though  the  box  was  dis- 
tinctly addressed  to  me,  yet  as  it  was  securely 
locked  and  no  key  had  been  forwarded,  I  was 
deterred  by  scruples  of  delicacy,  from  opening 
it.  I  eyed  it  and  examined  it  daily  and  curi- 
ously, and  various  and  profound  were  my 
speculations.  It  was  to  be  "kept  dry;"  this 
argued  papers  or  deeds  within ;  but  then  the 
top  was  "  to  be  kept  uppermost,"  and  I  well 
knew  that  all  the  writings  and  deeds  of  the 
richest  land-holders  in  the  kingdom  were  hourly 
turned  over  in  an  attorney's  office,  without  up- 
setting a  title.  My  scruples  might  have  re- 
stricted my  curiosity  for  a  twelvemonth,  but 
for  the  seasonable  visit  of  a  fair  damsel,  who 
carried  on  the  mystery  of  bonnet-making.  She 
called  on  me  one  morning  in  considerable 
agitation;  under  such  excitement  indeed,  that 
my  professional  dreams  always  haunting  my 
sanguine  imagination,    took  a  new  form,   and 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  31 

"breach  of  promise,"  with  all  its  interesting 
details  flitted  before  my  eyes !  I  had  almost 
instinctively  rung  my  bell  to  dispatch  a  retainer 
to  Serjeant  Wilde,  when,  having  recovered  her 
breath,  exhausted  by  the  steepness  of  my  stairs, 
the  damsel  exclaimed  in  a  tone  which  showed 
that  she  had  not  by  any  means  recovered  her 
composure,  "  Pray  Mr.  Sharpe,  if  that  be  your 
name,  why  haven't  you  sent  me  Mrs.  Rudall's 
bonnet  ?" 

"  Simply  because  I  have  not  received  it,  and 
have  not  the  honor  of  knowing  such  a  ladv." 

"Well,  now,  that  is  strange!  and  isn't  your 
name  Sharpe?  and  ain't  you  an  attorney  of 
law?  and  don't  you  live  at  ISTo.  10,  in  this  here 
street?" 

"  Precisely  so,  my  good  lady  ;  but  you  seem 
to  know  ten  times  more  about  me  than  I  do  of 
you,  or  Mrs.  Rudall  either." 

She  then  drew  a  letter  out  of  her  pocket,  and 
showing  me  the  address,  inquired  if  I  knew  the 
writing.  I  disclaimed  all  acquaintance  with  it. 
She  returned  it  to  her  pocket,  without  reading 
a  line  of  it,  and  saying  there  must  be  some 
strange  mistake,  and  begging  pardon  for  the 
intrusion,  withdrew.     Here  was  new  matter  for 


32  ADVENTURES    OE    AN    ATTORNEY 

curiosity,  but  my  thoughts  still  fondly  clinging 
at  intervals,  to  the  box,  I  began  to  penetrate  the 
mystery,  and  without  more  hesitation,  sent  for 
a  smith  to  open  it.  The  first  object  that  met 
m}^  eye,  was  the  unlucky  bonnet,  most  carefully 
hedged  round  with  papers  and  parchments  to 
sustain  it  in  its  vertical  position.  I  removed  it 
with  all  possible  care,  and  found  deposited  im- 
mediately beneath  it,  a  letter  addressed  to  my- 
self, in  an  elegant  female  hand,  on  beautiful 
embossed  paper,  and  slightly  sealed  with  wax 
of  celestial  blue,  impressed  with  Cupid  retaining 
a  dove  by  a  silken  cord. 

"Mrs.  Rudall  presents  her  compliments  to 
Mr.  Gregory  Sharpe,  and  begs  permission  to 
forward  to  him  all  her  deeds  and  papers,  being 
involved  in  a  most  cruel  dispute  with  her  land- 
lord, and  having  heard  from  their  mutual 
friend,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Fairfax,  an  old  college 
acquaintance  of  Mr.  Sharpe's,  the  highest  testi- 
mony to  his  character  and  abilities.  Mrs. 
Rudall  will  trouble  Mr.  Sharpe  to  allow  some 
of  his  people  to  take  the  bonnet,  which  she  lias 
enclosed  for  safety  in  the  box,  to  Madame 
Livorne.  Mr.  Sharpe  will  please  to  direct  all 
possible  care  to  be  taken  of  the  bonnet,  and  to 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  38 

favor  Mrs.  Rudall  with  his  opinion  on  her  case, 
as  early  as  possible,  her  landlord  behaving  like 
a  brute,  and  being  very  troublesome  !  " 

"P.  S.  Mrs.  Eudall  will  be  glad  if  Madame 
Livorne  can  send  home  the  bonnet  by  this  day 
week." 

Here  was  I  in  a  pretty  mess !  the  letter  had 
no  date  or  address;  mere  ornamental  append- 
ages in  the  opinion  of  most  fair  correspondents. 
More  than  a  fortnight  had  already  gone  by.  I 
had  no  certain  clue  to  Madame  Livorne,  and  as 
to  the  case,  and  the  brute  of  a  landlord,  had  I 
been  Theseus  himself,  my  lovely  client  had 
shown  herself  no  Ariadne.  I  turned  over  the 
papers  with  a  vengeance,  but  I  could  make 
nothing  of  them.  I  had  lost  sight  of  Fairfax 
for  above  seven  years,  and  never  knew  more  of 
him,  than  as  a  casual  companion  to  take  wine 
with.  In  short,  I  resolved  to  leave  the  affair  to 
the  chance  of  the  tables,  after  making  an  hon- 
est and  ineffectual  attempt  to  trace  the  bonnet- 
maker 

Another  week  elapsed,  and  to  my  relief, 
though  somewhat  also  to  my  surprise,  a  lady 
drove  up  to  my  office  door,  sending  up  a  tiger 
to  beg  that  I  would  oblige  her   by  stepping 


34  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

down  to  her  carriage.  I  immediately  obeyed; 
and  a  good  -  looking-  lady  of  some  thirty  years' 
date,  and  sweetly  smiling  a  self- introduction, 
announced  herself  as  Mrs.  Rudall. 

"Have  you  got  my  bonnet,  Mr.  Sharpe?" 
"I  have,   madam,   and    several    deeds    and 
papers  that  came  with  it." 

"  Oh,  never  mind  the  deeds  and  papers,  they 
will  keep  till  to-morrow;  hut  how  could  you 
be  so  inconsiderate  as  to  detain  my  bonnet?" 

"  Really,  madam,  had  you  told  me  where  to 
send  it,  I  would — " 

"Why,  I  told  you  to  Madame  Livorne! " 
"But  you  never  told  me  where  she  lived." 
"In  St.  James's  street,  to  be  sure;  everybody 
knows  where  Madame  Livorne  lives; "  laying  a 
stress  on  the  word  "everybody,"  with  some- 
thing between  a  sneer  and  a  tone  of  incredulity. 
I  lisped  out  some  nonsense  about  my  profes- 
sional distance  from  the  world  of  fashion,  and 
offered  the  amende  honorable,  by  forthwith  for- 
warding the  bonnet  to  its  destination;  but  this 
she  declined,  taking  the  precious  charge  upon 
herself;  and  at  the  same  time  promising  to 
make  an  appointment  to  see  me  on  "  her  case," 
before  she  left  town.     I  had  the  wit  to  ask  her 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  35 

address,  and  I  called  at  her  hotel  three  succes- 
sive days  without  once  finding  her  sufficiently 
at  leisure  to  enter  on  the  subject.  I  did  not  call 
again,  though  she  staid  a  week  in  London. 
The  day  before  she  quitted  it,  I  received  an- 
other note  from  her,  which,  though  not  sealed 
with  doves  or  blue  wax,  I  opened  with  alacrity, 
but  found  it  only  contained  an  order  to  deliver 
over  the  box  with  its  contents  to  another  attor- 
ney, the  brother-in-law  of  Madame  Livorne, 
"whom  she  had  luckily  found  an  opportunity 
of  putting  in  possession  of  all  the  circum- 
stances of  her  unfortunate  case! ! !" 

I  was  indebted  to  the  kindness  of  Miss  Gor- 
don, a  lady  of  high  connexions,  and  intimate 
with  many  members  of  my  own  family,  for 
an  introduction  to  Lady  Carysfort,  who,  with 
her  two  sisters,  Mrs.  Walsingham  and  Miss 
St.  Clair,  were  entitled  to  the  accumulations  of 
a  very  large  property,  amounting  to  ,£80,000. 
The  income  of  their  father  had  for  peculiar 
reasons,  not  necessary  to  explain,  been  made 
over  to  trustees  to  allow  him  a  certain  mainte- 
nance for  life,  and  on  his  decease  to  distribute 
the  principal  with  all  the  accumulations  among 
his   three  daughters,  subject,  however,  to  the 


36  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

discharge  of  his  just  debts.  The  father  died; 
hut  the  trustees  demurred  to  the  immediate  dis- 
tribution, on  account  of  certain  outstanding 
claims  of  an  indefinite  and  questionable  char- 
acter. My  assistance  was  required  in  preference 
to  that  of  the  family  solicitor,  to  obtain  for  the 
ladies  the  money  to  which  they  were  entitled. 
I  bestowed  considerable  pains  on  the  investiga- 
tion of  the  case,  and  eventually  succeeded  in 
sat  1  -lying  the  trustees  that  they  might  safely 
set  the  alleged  creditors  at  defiance,  except  as  to 
a  comparatively  trifling  sum;  on  this  they  con- 
sented to  proceed  to  a  distribution,  on  being- 
indemnified  by  the  cestui  que  trusts.  Having 
thus,  at  the  end  of  two  or  three  months,  com- 
pletely cleared  away  all  difficulties,  I  explained 
the  matter  to  my  clients,  that  I  might  obtain 
the  requisite  instructions  as  to  the  indemnity. 
I  first  called  upon  Miss  St.  Clair. 

"Indeed,  Mr.  Sharpe,  this  is  really  good 
news!   so  we  shall  get  all  our  money  at  last?" 

"Yes,  ma'am;  subject  to  the  indemnity." 

"I  don't  quite  understand  this  indemnity 
business,  though  you  have  said  so  much  to 
explain  it." 

"  It  onlv  amounts  to  this — if  the  trustees  are 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  37 

compelled  to  satisfy  these  creditors,  which  I  am 
convinced  they  never  will  be,  yon  mnst,  jointly 
with  your  sisters,  refund  as  much  money  as 
they  pay  on  that  account." 

"Well,  if  that  is  all,  there  can  be  no  objec- 
tion to  that;  but  will  this  affect  my  rights 
under  my  aunt  Carisbrook's  will?" 

I  began  to  feel  alarm ;  I  had  never  heard  of 
such  a  will,  nor  of  such  a  person,  and  the  plain 
course  was  to  say  so. 

"I  never  heard  of  the  will  of  Mrs.  Carisbrook!" 

"The  Countess  of  Carisbrook,"  laying  a 
slight  emphasis  on  the  word  "  Countess,"  be- 
queathed to  me  =£500  per  annum,  so  long  as 
my  father  lived." 

"Then,  ma'am,  it  will  not  affect  your  rights, 
for  by  your  father's  death  the  annuity  is  gone 
already ! " 

"Indeed,  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  never  thought  of 
that !  this  makes  the  matter  doubly  important 
to  me;   of  course  I  will  give  the  indemnity." 

And  leaving  my  client  to  ponder  over  the 
wonderful  discovery,  I  hastened  to  call  on  Mrs. 
"Walsingham.  She  at  once  comprehended  the 
whole  affair;  when,  unluckily  I  observed  that 
it  would  be  necessary  for  me  to  explain  it  also 


428059 


38  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

to  her  husband,  the  Rev.  Mr.  "Walsingham. 
The  lady  instantly  bridled  up,  and  I  saw  that  ] 
had  perpetrated  a  blunder,  but  of  what  nature  ) 
could  not  divine. 

"  I  cannot  imagine,  Sir,  what  Mr.  Waking 
ham  can  have  to  do  in  the  matter !  it  is  my 
money,  not  Mr.  Walsingham's  !  " 

"  I  believe,  Madam,  it  is  not  comprised  in 
your  settlement,  and  of  course,  therefore,  his 
concurrence  is  necessary." 

"  It  is  not  of  course,  Mr.  Gregory  Sharpe,  nor 
shall  I  ask  Mr.  Walsingham's  concurrence  in 
any  step  that  I  think  proper  to  take." 

"  I  beg  pardon  for  persisting  in  a  point  which 
seems  irksome  to  you,  but  you  must  be  aware 
that  in  contemplation  of  law,  you  and  Mr. 
Walsingham  have  a  common  interest,  and  are 
identified." 

"Identified,  Sir!  identified  with  Mr.  Wal- 
singham !  a  common  interest  with  Mr.  Wal- 
singham !  "  raising  her  voice  at  every  period, 
till  at  last   it   almost  amounted  to  a  scream. 

"  Well,  Madam,  perhaps  you  will  oblige  me 
by  at  least  speaking  to  him  on  the  subject." 

"  /speak  to  Mr.  Walsingham  !  speak  to  Mm 
on  the  subject !    or  on  any  subject  whatever  !  ! ! 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  39 

Indeed,  Sir,  you  must  excuse  me;"  rising  a' 
the  same  time  to  ring  the  bell. 

doubted  whether  she  was  sane ;  but  I  sav 
clearly  that  she  was  at  all  events  frantic  witl 
anger;  and  to  avoid  being  kicked  out,  whicL 
seemed  highly  probable,  I  took  up  my  hat  and 
made  my  bow. 

I  found  Lady  Carysfort  at  home,  and  Sir 
"William  with  her,  as  well  as  Miss  St.  Clair, 
who  had  already  preceded  me,  and  communi- 
cated my  intelligenee,  I  was  cordially  received ; 
and  the  sister's  communication  saved  me  all 
trouble  in  explaining,  but  Lady  Carysfort's 
settlement  had  not  been  sent  to  me  with  Mrs. 
Walsingham's. 

"  Your  Ladyship  will  be  aware  of  the  neces- 
sity of  my  ascertaining  whether  these  moneys 
formed  anj  portion  of  the  settlement  funds." 

There  was  a  little  hesitation,  and  a  slight 
suffusion  of  the  face,  (it  had  been  a  beautiful 
one,)  as  she  inquired — 

"  What  can  that  have  to  do  with  it,  Sir  ?  Is 
not  the  money  mine  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  answer  that  question  precisely 
without  seeing  the  settlement.  Sir  William 
may  take  an  interest  in  it,  or  your  children." 


40  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  My  children,  Mr.  Sharpe !  my  children  !  " 

The  exclamation  was  uttered  with  a  shriek; 
the  poor  lady  immediately  became  hysterical ; 
Miss  St.  Clair  sobbed  audibly;  and  Sir  Will- 
iam strided  across  the  room,  evidently  embar- 
rassed. The  very  lap  -  dog  on  the  rug  displayed 
his  fangs,  and  growled  out  his  indignation. 
Here  was  another  pretty  mess  that  I  had  made 
of  it !  I  began  to  think  the  whole  family  crazy ; 
and  commissions  of  lunacy  crossed  my  vision ; 
how  could  I  apologise,  unconscious  as  I  was  of 
offense  ? 

"  Mr.  Sharpe !  "  said  Sir  William  sternly, 
and  suddenly  paused. 

"  Really,  Mr.  Sharpe,"  sobbed  out  Miss  St. 
Clair,  and  was  again  silent. 

"Oh!  Mr.  Sharpe,  if"— and  poor  Lady 
Carysfort  was  mute  from  utter  exhaustion. 

"  May  I  ring  for  assistance,  Sir  William  ?  " 

"  ]STo,  Sir ;  I  want  no  witnesses  of  this  un- 
happy scene." 

"Allow  me  to  open  the  window,  Sir,  and  then 
to  retire ;  I  will  wait  on  her  Ladyship  at  any 
other  time  when  she  feels  more  composed."  Sir 
William  approached  the  bell  himself,  and  I  was 
about  to  withdraw. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  41 

"]  think,  Sir  William,"  said  Miss  St.  Clair, 
"Mr.  Sharpe's  suggestion,  however  painful,  is 
unavoidable;  "  hut  I  had  had  enough  of  it,  and 
expressing  hastily  my  regret  at  having  been  the 
unintentional  cause  of  so  much  distress,  I  left 
the  room,  intending  to  call  again  the  following 
day.  I  received  the  following  laconic  letter, 
however,  in  less  than  an  hour  : 

"  Sir  William  Carysfort's  compliments  to 
Mr.  Sharpe,  he  is  requested  to  send  his  account 
to  Mr.  Longhead,  the  family  solicitor,  who  has 
Sir  William's  order  to  discharge  it.  Mr.  Long- 
head's familiar  acquaintance  with  the  domestic 
circumstances  of  Sir  William,  points  him  out 
as  the  proper  party  to  bring  this  affair  to  a 
conclusion." 

I  soon  had  the  mystery  explained  by  mv 
friend  Miss  Gordon.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Walsing- 
ham  had  been  separated  by  deed,  for  fifteen 
years,  and  the  union  of  Sir  William  and  Lady 
Carysfort  was  generally  understood  to  be  one, 
though  they  were  received  in  society,  that  would 
have  subjected  more  plebeian  folks  to  certain 
pains  and  penalties.  One  so  ignorant  of  fashion- 
able scandal  as  myself,  and  so  little  versed  in 
heraldry  as  never  to  have  heard  of  the  extinct 


42  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

title  of  Lord  Carisbrook,  could  Bcarcely  be 
expected  to  be  skilled  in  family  settlements. 
Mr.  Longhead  managed  matters  better,  and 
wound  up  the  distribution  of  the  father's  estate 
by  an  amicable  suit  which  lasted  fifteen  years. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  43 


CHAPTER    IV. 

i,Avr,p  yap  ypr^roq  aldtlaOa:  <pde1." —  I<PI.  EN  AYA. 

I  could  multiply  these  anecdotes  of  earlier 
days,  ad  infinitum.  Sometimes  I  failed  to  please 
from  excess  of  zeal;  sometimes  by  supposed 
lack  of  it,  though  if  my  clients  could  have 
penetrated  my  bosom,  and  witnessed  my  anx- 
ious feelings  about  professional  success,  this 
would  have  been  the  last  fault  laid  to  my 
charge.  On  other  occasions  temper  led  me 
astray.  I  plead  guilty  to  this  accusation;  and 
yet  it  has  not  unfrequently  been  the  case  that  I 
have  been  reproached  with  coolness  and  want 
of  sympathy  in  my  client's  outraged  feelings! 
I  have  selected  the  preceding  failures,  not  only 
as  curious  in  themselves,  but  as  illustrating  the 
first  maxim  which  I  would  impress  on  a  young 
solicitor;  he  must  inform  himself,  of  course,  of 


44  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

the  merits  of  his  employer's  cause  of  complaint, 
and  judge  a  little  for  himself  of  his  employer's 
merits  as  well.  It  will  be  observed  that  in  all 
the  instances  I  have  mentioned,  I  had  but  one 
trial;  and  to  the  best  of  my  judgment,  I  failed 
in  every  instance  to  retain  my  client,  not  by 
professional  unskilfulness  or  negligence,  but 
by  offense  to  my  client's  self-complacency.  I 
made  many  friends  in  the  very  first  years  of 
business;  and  allowing  for  the  partial  loss  of 
them  by  death,  or  bankruptcy,  (a  sort  of  com- 
mercial syncope  rarely  followed  by  resuscitation) 
I  retain  them  still.  These  are  men  with  whom 
I  have  grown  up  in  the  affairs  of  life ;  men  who 
know  and  understand  me,  and  who  are  equally 
understood  by  me.  We  are  familiar  with  each 
other's  peculiarities,  and  not  less  so  with  each 
other's  value.  It  is  no  trifle  that  will  sever  a 
connexion  between  solicitor  and  client,  based 
upon  this  mutuality  of  knowledge;  but  a  man 
who  begins  business  at  four -and -twenty  has 
but  few  connexions  of  this  character;  he  must 
make  them  for  himself;  if  I  may  judge  from 
my  own  experience,  there  is  no  greater  fallacy 
than  to  conclude  that  the  friends  gained  at 
school  or  college,  are  sufficient  to  launch  you 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  45 

in  the  sea  of  life.     I  had  such  ephemeral  ac- 
quaintance by  the  hundred;    hut   they  rarely 
stick  by  one  for  any  practical  good:  the  ma- 
jority of  them  are  themselves  embarked  in  the 
same  great  adventure  of  professional  specula- 
tion, and  consequently  have  themselves  to  look 
to  first,  and  little  leisure  and  less  inclination  to 
assist    others    who    may    perchance    hereafter 
prove  their  rivals.     Moreover  the  frankness  of 
youth  discloses  its  defects  as  well  as  its  merits, 
and  it  is  rare  indeed  that  boys  carry  their  favor- 
able recollections  of  a  school -fellow  to  the  age 
of  maturity.     It  is  among  those  with  whom 
business,  in  its  proper  sense,  brings  us  first  ae- 
quaintecl,  that  we  must  seek  to  establish  a  con- 
nexion ;   and  if  that  connexion  is  to  be  perma- 
nent,   their    tastes,    their    tempers,    and    their 
habits,  must   be  as  much  the  subject  of  our 
study,   as  the  redress  of  their  injuries,  or  the 
protection  of  their  rights.     Such  is  the  self- 
importance  of  mankind,  that  it  is   thought  no 
common  favor  by  a  senior  to  allow  a  young 
man  even  one  opportunity  of  rendering  him- 
self acceptable  in  his  profession.     Clients  are 
not  very  ready  to  intrust  themselves  to  juvenile 
advice;  and  if  by  the  entreaty  or  influence  of 


46  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

Mends,  or  by  any  other  accident  they  are  in- 
duced to  do  so,  not  only  do  they  expect  most 
deferential  gratitude,  but  they  scan  with  an 
illiberal  and  almost  inquisitorial  eye,  every 
word  and  gesture  that  in  men  of  longer  stand- 
ing would  be  overlooked.  Let  me  not  be  mis- 
understood. Anything  approaching  to  obse- 
quious servility  is  disgraceful  to  a  member  of  a 
liberal  profession,  however  young :  any  dis- 
position to  precipitate  familiarity,  or  any  un- 
becoming descent  to  the  low  habits  of  vulgar 
society,  because  wealthy  clients  may  occasion- 
ally be  found  in  it,  is  discreditable,  and  for  the 
most  part  disgusting,  even  to  those  who  are  the 
objects  of  such  unworthy  conciliation.  A 
solicitor  must  never  forget  that  he  is  his  client's 
adviser ;  and  that  the  very  act  of  asking  advice 
implies  an  acknowledged  superiority  of  informa- 
tion or  of  judgment  in  the  party  consulted. 

But  it  is  perfectly  consistent  with  necessary 
self-  respect  to  fall  in  with  the  feelings,  and  be 
kindly  indulgent  even  to  the  prejudices  and 
whims  of  a  client ;  he  is  very  often  more  taken 
with  this  good-natured  sympathy  than  with  the 
most  brilliant  parade  of  learning,  or  the  most 
triumphant  success.     In  fact,  clients  come  to 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  47 

their  solicitor  to  be  consoled,  as  often  as  to  be 
assisted  :  and  a  prompt  self- adaptation  to  their 
oddities,  a  cheerful  chiming-in  with  their 
fancies,  a  silent  acquiescence  in  their  infirmities 
of  pride  or  temper,  will  rivet  the  confidence 
which  chance  only  perhaps,  or  at  best  a  patron- 
izing spirit,  has  first  induced  them  to  repose. 
To  do  this  skillfully,  and  to  avoid  all  mal  a 
propos  allusions,  like  the  gaucheries  to  which  I 
have  just  confessed,  a  man  must  take  some  little 
trouble  to  inform  himself  of  his  client's  domes- 
tic position.  In  taking  instructions  for  wills 
or  family  settlements,  this  is  so  obviously 
indispensable,  that  it  cannot  be  avoided ;  but 
some  of  the  cases  that  I  have  above  narrated, 
will  prove  that  it  is  equally  requisite  on  occa- 
sions that  scarcely  appear  to  trench  at  all  on  the 
domestic  relations.  Without  some  insight  into 
such  matters,  we  can  never  judge  to  what  ex- 
tent our  advice  may  not  be  counteracted  by  the 
paramount  influence  of  a  wife,  a  partner,  or 
even  a  more  remote  connexion.  It  once  fell  to 
my  lot  to  solicit  a  bankrupt's  certificate,  where 
there  were  nearly  a  hundred  creditors  to  be 
canvassed  :  I  found  my  applications  fruitless  in 
three  cases  out  of  five,  till   T  had  enlisted  the 


48  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTOHXEY 

wife  in  my  service,  and  then  all  was  plain  sail- 
ing. I  have,  at  the  present  time,  an  extensive 
circle  of  clients,  all  of  whom  are  more  or  less 
allied  to  a  gentleman  of  deserved  reputation  for 
good  sense  and  a  clear  head,  though  but  little 
versed  in  business.  I  am  rarely  consulted  by 
one  in  this  circle,  upon  a  mixed  question  of  law 
and  prudence,  but  I  am  told,  "  I  must  ask  my 
cousin  what  he  thinks  of  the  matter ;  "  this 
cousin  being  somewhat  timid  withal,  I  have 
sometimes  found  my  counsel  rejected  through 
his  resistance,  and  generally  to  the  injury  of  my 
client.  Yet  I  do  not  feel  it  politic  to  deprecate' 
such  appeals.  I  always  yield  to  them  as  satis- 
factory to  my  client,  however  little  so  to  myself. 
It  is  not  difficult  to  collect  this  kind  of  infor- 
mation without  appearing  to  seek  it  offieiously. 
I  have  now  and  then  pointedly  asked  a  man 
wTho  has  seemed  half  distrustful  of  my  advice, 
if  he  has  no  intimate  friend  that  we  could  take 
into  our  counsel?  whether  his  wife  or  his  son 
feels  an  interest  in  the  affair?  whether  he  is  on 
such  terms  with  his  family  as  to  be  sure  of  their 
approbation,  however  things  might  turn  out? 
if  such  an  investment,  or  such  a  proceeding 
would  bring  him  into  unpleasant  collision  with 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  49 

his  partners,  his  correspondents,  his  customers, 
etc. ;  and  such  questions,  if  put  with  tact, 
usually  elicit  sufficient  of  his  feelings  or  his 
apprehensions  to  enable  one  to  detect  his  weak 
side,  and  avoid  the  risk  of  unconsciously  wound- 
ing it.  In  all  cases  of  character,  such  as  libels, 
breach  of  trust,  non- performance  of  contract, 
or  composition  with  creditors,  these  inquiries 
are  due  even  to  the  party  himself. 


60  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER  V. 

"  Si  quid  fecimus,  certe  irati  non  fecimus."— IV  Tosc,  51. 

Close,  but  silent  observation  of  the  manners 
of  a  new  client,  is  productive  of  much  conven- 
ience in  our  future  intercourse  with  him.  Some 
men  lay  themselves  bare  at  once,  in  their  impet- 
uous exposure  of  their  injuries  and  grievances: 
they  rush  into  your  office,  agitated,  excited,  and 
breathless  with  impatience,  to  find  not  merely 
an  adviser,  but  a  ready  listener.  Attention 
must  be  profound,  but  credulity  scarce;  never 
believe  above  half  of  what  an  angry  client  may 
say,  but  most  patiently  endure  the  whole  of  it. 
Mr.  "Wilson,  a  merchant  of  great  respectability, 
one  day  entered  my  room,  accompanied  by  his 
senior  clerk,  who  usually  attended  him  as  a  sort 
of  peripatetic  day-book.  His  face  betrayed  an 
irritated  mind;  and  he  seated  himself  in  silence, 
half  afraid  of  trusting  himself  to  speak  on  the 
subject  on  which  he  had  called  to  consult  me: 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  51 

after  a  minute's  pause  his  clerk  came  to  his 
assistance. 

"Mr.  Wilson  has  called  on  you,  Mr.  Sharpe, 
to  mention — " 

"  Be  silent,  Taylor,  I  can  speak  for  myself,  1 

suppose." 

"I  beg  pardon,  Sir,  but  T  thought — " 

"What  business  have  you  to  think?  Attend 
to  jour  own  affairs,  Sir." 

The  clerk  was  silenced;  but  Wilson  still  hesi- 
tated, cleared  his  throat,  and  began.  '"Tis  very 
unpleasant,  Mr.  Sharpe — "  He  paused  again, 
again  coughed,  and  once  more  made  a  futile 
attempt.  "'Tis  really  painful,  Sir,  when  a  gen- 
tleman who  has  for  forty  years — "  He  could 
not  o*et  further. 

"Forty -one  years  last  Michaelmas,"  inter- 
posed Mr.  Taylor. 

"You  are  right,  Taylor;  forty-one  years  ago, 
did  T — "  and  then,  after  another  momentary 
pause,  "and  now  to  come  to  this!"  I  thought 
it  must  be  commercial  failure,  or  something 
nearly  as  awful ;    but  I  wisely  held  my  peace. 

"Would  you  believe  it,  Sir?  it  is  not  an  hour 
since  that  villain,  that  dastardly  villain,  called 
me  a  swindler,  Sir." 


62  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

He  utmost  choked  in  the  utterance,  and  to 
protect  myself  from  a  smile,  I  affected  surprise. 
"  You  a  swindler,  Mr.  Wilson!  " 

"He  did  indeed,  Sir:  he  called  me,  Sir,  a 
Bwindler — a  swindler!    and   on  'Change  too!" 

"A  dirty  swindler,"  interposed  Taylor. 

"Be  silent,  or  I'll  break  your  head,  block- 
head! he  called  me  a  swindler,  I  tell  you,  Mr. 
Sharpe." 

"Dirty,"  whispered  Taylor  again." 

"Another  word,  you  scoundrel,  and  you 
shall  eat  it." 

"How  did  it  happen,  Mr.  Wilson?" 

"I  went  on  'Change  at  four,  Sir — " 

"Ten  minutes  to  four  by  our  clock,"  ob- 
served Taylor,  with  provoking  punctuality. 

'I  tell  you  it  was  four,  Sir!  Don't  heed  that 
booby:  at  four  o'clock  exactly  I  went  on 
'Change:  it  is  always  my  custom." 

"  Except  on   Saturdays,"  interjected  Taylor. 

"  I  haven't  missed  three  Saturdays  this 
twelvemonth,  jackanapes." 

"Ramsgafe  excepted,"  rejoined  Taylor,  still 
correcting  him. 

"And  didn't  I  go  to  Ramsgate  for  health, 
Sir?    Is  a  man  of  my  years  to  die  on  'Change?" 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  53 

"  You  always  said  you  would  die  at  the  desk, 
Sir?" 

"And  mayn't  I  die  where  I  please,  Sir?" 

"  But  the  affair  on  'Change,  Mr.  Wilson.  I 
think  you  had  better  not  interrupt  your  em- 
ployer, Mr.  Taylor." 

"You  are  right,  Sir;  he  is  always  interrupt- 
ing me:  where  did  I  leave  off,  Taylor?" 

"  At  '  dirty  swindler,'  Sir." 

"  You  lie,  rascal,  you  lie !  he  did  not  say 
'dirty:'  bad  enough  as  'twas,  he  never  said 
' dirty.'  " 

"  It  is  not  material,  Mr.  Wilson  ;  '  swindler  ' 
is  the  actionable  word." 

"  It  is  actionable  then  ?  thank  you,  Sir ; 
thank  you  twenty  times,  Mr.  Sharpe  :  that's  all 
I  wanted  to  know." 

"  Beg  pardon,"  began  Taylor ;  "  you  wanted 
to  know  if  '  cheat '  and  '  blackguard '  Avere  ac- 
tionable too." 

"  Did  he  use  all  these  coarse  epithets,  Mr. 
Wilson  ?  It  would  not  have  been  exactly  legal, 
but  I  think,  in  your  place,  I  should  have 
knocked  him  down." 

But  Wilson  turned  again  on  his  unlucky 
clerk;    and  I  almost   feared   he  was  about  to 


54       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

begin  the  knocking -down  system  before  my 
face :  he  raised  bis  umbrella,  and.  shaking  it 
violently,  swore  he  would  break  every  bone  in 
bis  skin,  if  he  presumed  to  open  his  lips  again, 
and  then  turned  to  me. 

"  He  called  me  swindler,  Sir,  and  nothing 
else ;  but  that's  enough  for  me,  you  say  it  is 
actionable,  and  I'll  proceed,  or  my  name  is  not 
Wilson  !  He  disgraced  me  before  all  'Change, 
the  infamous  villain;  but  thank  heaven,  I  did 
not  knock  bim  down  :  bring  the  action,  Sir, 
immediately ;  retain  Scarlett,  retain  the  At- 
torney-General, retain  Gurney,  Brougham,  and 
all  of  them.  I'll  have  the  whole  bar,  Sir ;  forty- 
one  years  have  I  imported  from  the  Baltic,  and 
never  was  called  '  swindler  '  before  !  " 

"  You  forget  Lloyd's  in  the  panic,"  observed 
the  accurate  clerk. 

"I  forget  nothing,  Sir;  I  never  forgot  any 
thing  in  my  life,  Mr.  Make  -mischief!  " 

"  And  that  job  about  the  bark  Sally,"  again 
said  Taylor. 

"Say  another  word,  Sir!  say  another  word, 
that's  all !  say  only  one  more  word,  Mr.  Taylor  ! 
only  speak  again,  Mr.  Taylor !  one  more  word, 
Sir,  and—" 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  55 

Poor  Wilson  could  say  no  more  himself,  and 
gasping  for  breath,  and  apparently  suffocated 
with  rage,  he  put  on  his  hat,  and  left  me 
abruptly:  before  he  reached  the  foot  of  the 
stairs,  he  reiterated  his  instructions  in  a  peremp- 
tory tone  :  "  Immediately,  Mr.  Sharpe,  if  you 
please,  immediately."  Taylor  remained  behind, 
apparently  unmoved  by  all  the  scene,  and  un- 
conscious of  any  thing  extraordinary. 

"Well,  Mr.  Taylor,  I  have  my  suspicions ; 
pray  who  used  the  pretty  words  l  cheat  and 
blackguard  ? '" 

"  Mr.  Wilson." 

"  I  thought  as  much .  and  who  began  the 
controversy  ? " 

"  Mr.  Wilson." 

"  And  what  was  it  all  about?  " 

"  Tallow." 

"  Who  sold  it  ? " 

"Mr.  Wilson." 

"  What  was  the  complaint  ?  ' 

"  Not  equal  to  sample." 

"  Who  was  right  ?  " 

"  Mr.  Wilson." 

"  Tallows  have  fallen  ?  " 

"  Yes." 


56  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  Then  bring  Mr.  Wilson  here  again  to  -  mor- 
row." 

He  came  accordingly,  cool  and  composed ; 
laughed  at  the  affair  of  the  previous  day, 
thanked  me  for  my  negligence  in  not  retaining 
all  the  bar,  employed  me  on  the  tallow -contract 
where  he  proved  to  be  right,  and  without  litiga- 
tion beyond  the  service  of  a  writ,  he  obtained 
nearly  all  the  difference  in  the  value  of  the 
consignment. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  57 


CHAPTER    VI. 

"  Qui  modus  tibi  fuit  frumenti  sestimandi  ?  aut  honararii  ?  " — Cic. 

A  man  constantly  on  the  look-out,  can  hard- 
ly fail  of  finding  something  to  do.  Though  my 
success  in  Boyle's  affair  got  me  very  little 
money,  it  acquired  me  some  credit  for  capabili- 
ty. A  public  inquiry  of  great  national  impor- 
tance was  in  progress ;  an  insulated  matter  con- 
nected with  it,  required  professional  investiga- 
tion, aud  many  solicitors  of  ten  times  my 
experience  having  declined  the  duty,  not  only 
because  it  was  unpopular  in  itself,  but  attended, 
as  was  supposed,  with  some  little  personal  risk, 
I  was  invited  to  undertake  it.  I  was  so  very 
green  at  this  time,  that  I  was  unconscious  of 
the  favorable  position  in  which  I  stood,  and 
the  advantage  it  gave  me  in  fixing  my  own 
terms,  for  time  pressed;  I  was  to  embark 
within  four -and -twenty  hours  of  receiving  my 


58  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

instructions,  and  as  I  have  noticed,  nearly  a 
dozen  attorneys  having  already  refused  the 
office,  the  government  was  so  driven  into  a  cor- 
ner, that  I  might  have  named  what  compensa- 
tion I  pleased  ;  it  would  have  been  promptly 
given.  The  same  insouciance  about  the  position 
of  my  employers,  misled  me  here.  I  was  sum- 
moned to  the  Foreign  Office.  At  the  end  of  a 
long  apartment,  busily  occupied  in  papers  from 
which  he  seemed  unwilling  to  take  his  eye,  sat 
a  young  man  scarcely  older  than  myself,  and 
dressed  in  the  extreme  of  fashion,  with  whis- 
kers and  moustaches  of  no  common  dimen- 
sions ;  they  were  at  that  period  much  less  than 
at  present;  his  heels  were  decorated  with  gilt 
spurs  of  extraordinary  length ;  his  trousers 
braided  en  militaire,  and  in  fact  his  whole  cos- 
tume partook  of  the  style  of  military  undress. 
It  was  not  Lord  Lyndhurst,  then  Sir  John  Cop- 
ley, though  the  very  next  day  I  recollect  meet- 
ing this  learned  Solicitor -General,  in  consulta- 
tion with  his  yet  more  learned  colleague,  in 
precisely  the  same  equipment.  It  was  not  till 
long  after,  that  I  found  out  the  title  of  my 
dandy  instructor;  on  this  occasion  I  knew  not 
whether  he  was  lord  or  commoner,  patrician  or 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  59 

plebeian,  beyond  what  the  locality  argued.  I 
had  been  standing  some  five  mi  miles  or  more, 
when  he  first  looked  up,  eyeing  me  with  a 
stare  compounded  of  hauteur,  scrutiny,  and 
surprise.  I  thought  to  myself  even  then,  and 
very  frequently  on  similar  occasions  since,  how 
vastly  ignorant  these  great  folks  are  of  every- 
thing and  everybody,  beyond  the  circle  of  their 
own  little  world !  or  would  it  never  enter  into 
their  imaginations  to  conceive  that  even  the 
most  juvenile  attorney  on  the  roll  would  be 
abashed  for  a  single  moment  by  a  supercilious 
official  stare  :  we  should  indeed  have  labored  in 
vain  at  judge's  chambers,  and  the  master's 
office,  if  such  petty  courtesies  of  life  did  not  at 
once  secure  our  self-possession.  I  never  meet 
with  a  rude  man,  especially  one  who  is  conde- 
scending!)/ rude,  but  I  immediately  vote  him 
vulgar ;  and  vulgar  men  are  below  the  level  of 
gentility,  let  their  birth  or  station  be  what  it 
may,  and  therefore  below  mine !  By  this  little 
syllogism,  I  can  always  recall  my  self-compla- 
cency, whatever  may  be  the  offense.  I  recom- 
mend it  strongly  to  the  adoption  of  my  profes- 
sional brethren. 

"  What  may  be  your  name,  Sir  ?  " 


60  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  Mr.  Gregory  Sharpe." 

"  {Mem.)  You  are  young,  Mr.  Sharpe-" 

"  Very  young,  Sir,"  taking  a  chair,  for  he  had 
not  invited  me  to  sit  down,  so  I  invited  myself. 

"  You  are  an  attorney  I  believe,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?" 

"  I  am,  Sir." 

"  Where  were  you  educated  ?  " 

I  did  not  choose  to  understand  him,  as  I 
thought  the  catechism  verging  on  the  impertin- 
ent, so  I  replied,  with  a  well  -  founded  conviction 
that  it  would  check  his  aristocratic  condescen- 
sion; "I  am  a  Cambridge  man,  Sir."  This 
little  academical  sally  changed  his  tone,  as  I 
anticipated. 

"  You  misunderstand  me,  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  was 
alluding  to  your  professional  education ;  pray 
draw  a  little  nearer,  Sir,  (I  had  been  sitting 
near  the  door :)  this  is  a  very  important  matter, 
and  though  you  have  been  strongly  recom- 
mended to  us,  1  did  not  expect  to  see  so  young 
a  man.     You  understand  French,  of  course  ?  " 

"I  do,  Sir." 

"  Have  you  traveled  abroad  ?  " 

"Not  on  the  continent." 

An  expression  of  surprise  again  crossed  his 
features,  but  it  was  transient  this  time. 


IN    SEAKCH    OF    PRACTICE.  61 

"Well,  Sir,  this  is  a  delicate  affair;  3-011  will 
I  am  sure  act  with  prudence  and  caution ;  in 
case  of  unforeseen  difficulty,  you  will  address 

yourself  to  Sir  Charles .     How  soon  can 

you  start  ?  " 

"In  an  hour  if  you  wish  it." 

"Very  well;  you  will  receive  your  further  in- 
structions from  the  Attorney- General,  and  you 
will  write  to  us  by  every  post.  Good  morning. 
Mr.  Sharpe,"  and  I  was  bowed  out  accordingly. 
Extraordinary  to  say,  T  was  afterwards  in- 
formed, by  good  authority  too,  that  I  had 
"  made  a  favorable  impression  on  Lord  01  — !  " 

The  Attorney  -  General  was  carefully  minute 
in  the  delivery  of  his  instructions.  Sir  John 
Copley  lounged  into  the  room  for  five  minutes, 
examined  me  with  his  glass  as  though  I  had 
been  a  kangaroo,  adjusted  his  black  stock 
before  the  mirror,  played  about  his  spurs  with 
;•  3pruce  jockey -whip  elegantly  mounted  with 
gold,  and  then  lounged  out  again,  with  the 
grace  and  foppery  of  a  French  dancing -master  ! 
but  I  suppose  this  was  in  keeping  with  the 
saloons  of  Carlton  House. 

.  I  proceeded  on  my  journey,  and  succeeded  in 
mv  mission  ;  it  would  have  been  difficult  to  fail 


62  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

under  the  guidance  of  one  so  clear  and  so  acute 
as  Gifford ;  I  was  absent  for  five  weeks,  I  was 
only  five  nights  in  bud,  and  received  for  my 
services  exactly  one  hundred  pounds  !  ! !  ]  [ad 
I  known  my  men  better,  I  might  have  had  five 
times  as  much. 

But  the  occasions  are  rare  in  which  a  solici- 
tor can  with  propriety,  or  indeed  with  safety, 
make  any  ultra -professional  stipulations  on 
the  subject  of  costs.  Where,  as  in  the  case  I 
have  just  mentioned,  the  duty  is  out  of  the  or- 
dinary course  of  business,  arduous  and  respon- 
sible in  itself,  and  of  a  nature  to  carry  the 
attorney  awa}7  from  his  daily  clients,  it  is  not 
only  competent  to  him,  but  usual  to  provide 
that  he  shall  receive  a  specific  sum  for  his  ser- 
vices ;  and  as  he  cannot  tell  whether  by  his 
absence  he  may  not  lose  other  business  of  the 
highest  and  most  lucrative  kind,  he  is  war- 
ranted in  demanding  a  sura  equal  to  what  he 
might  have  earned  on  the  most  liberal  scale  of 
costs  allowed  by  the  courts,  or  by  practice: 
thus,  had  I  been  occupied  in  Parliamentary 
appeals  during  the  five  weeks  I  was  abroad,  I 
might  have  gained  five  guineas  a  day,  and 
adding  to  this  a  similar  fee  for  the  nights  which 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  6? 

I  steadily  devoted  to  the  pressing  duty,  my  re 
numeration  should  have  amounted  to  nearhj 
three  times  the  sum  that  T  actually  received. 
But  the  extraordinary  and  urgent  nature  of  the 
duty  would  have  justified  me  in  expecting  still 
further  inducement,  and  under  the  circum- 
stances, £500  would  not  have  been  thought  an 
unreasonable  fee  by  any  man  acquainted  with 
the  profession.  Few  things  are  more  difficult, 
than  to  answer  the  important  preliminary  in- 
quiry, "What  will  the  costs  be?"  Of  late 
years  my  reply  has  always  been  plainly,  that  I 
cannot  tell;  but  it  was  long  before  experience 
convinced  me,  that  this  is  the  only  sate  answer 
to  give. 

Connected  with  the  subject  matter  of  the  last 
affair,  was  another  in  which  I  lost  inv  client, 
owing,  I  believe,  to  this  common  error  of  pre- 
dicting the  amount  of  costs,  whereby  five  times 
out  of  six  we  mislead  our  clients,  and  cramp 
our  own  exertions. 

Mr.  Bedworth  was  an  oratorical  tradesman  of 
strong  politics,  and  had  made  himself  conspicu- 
ous by  his  ill-judged  and  ostentatious  violence 
on  many  occasions.  He  became  obnoxious  to 
the  public  press,  and  was   libelled  and  abused 


64  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

as  virulently  as  the  fondest  lover  of  notoriety 
could  desire:  he  applied  to  me  for  counsel. 
"  I  am  a  very  ill-used  man,  Mr.  Sharpe." 
"  I  think  you   are,  Sir,  but  I  thought  you 
were  the  last  man  to  complain  of  hard  usage 
in  the  good  cause." 

"That  is  very  true,  and  I  don't  eomplain; 
hut  these  detestable  papers  must  be  put  down. 
It  is  a  foul  shame  that  this  licentious  ribaldry 
— this  tyrannical  despotism  of  the  press  should 
be  tolerated :  to  a  man  of  less  iron  nerve  than 
myself,  such  unmerited  calumny  would  be 
fatal ;  to  a  man  more  open  to  suspicion  than 
myself,  it  would  be  ruin."  I  was  not  then 
aware  that  Mr.  Bedworth  had  been  twice  a 
bankrupt,  three  times  insolvent,  and,  in  a 
word,  "  on  the  town  "  for  the  last  five  years. 
"  I  am  bound  by  principle,  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  am 
impelled  by  the  imperious  dictates-  of  honor 
and  conscience,  to  stand  forward  on  this  oc- 
casion, and  vindicate  my  fellow- conn  try  men 
from  a  base  thraldom,  more  cruel  than  the 
sway  of  Xero.  What  will  be  said  of  me,  what 
will  be  thought  of  me"  laying  a  fond  empha- 
sis on  the  pronoun,  "  if  I  flinch  from  the 
patriotic  duty!" 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  .    bO 

My  humble  opiniou  was  that  he  would  have 
run  a  better  chance  of  getting  credit  for  com- 
mon sense  than  he  ever  did  before;  but  that 
was  no  affair  of  mine;  men  never  consult  their 
attorneys  to  be  complimented  on  their  good 
sense.  I  remained  dumb,  while  the  orator  pro- 
ceeded. 

"These  are  fine  days,  indeed,  Mr.  Sharpe, 
when  a  man  like  myself — and  I  pretend  To  be 
nobody,  I  assure  you,  though  they  are,  pleased 
to  compliment  the  little  talent  of  public  speak- 
ing, which  nature  has  blessed  me  with,  but  let 
that  pass:  I  am  but  a  humble  individual, 
exerting  myself  in  my  sphere  for  the  public 
good;  I  have  no  higher  ambition,  I  assure 
you,  Sir;  and  if  a  seat  were  offered  me  to- 
morrow, (I  was  invited  to  stand  for  the  bor- 
ough where  I  was  born,  at  the  last  election ; 
though  on  public  principle,  I  was  obliged  to 
decline,  for  the  deputation  could  not  guaran- 
tee me  against  expense :  but  this  in  confidence, 
Mr.  Sharpe  —  only  by  the  bye — you  under- 
stand?) I  say,  Sir,  that  if  I  were  seated  to-mor- 
row, and  offered  place  the  next  day,  I  would 
decline  it:  I  would  indeed,  Sir,  unless  consci- 
entiously assured  that  I  could  serve  my  coun- 


66  ^     AD VENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

try  with  credit  (as  indeed  some  folks  say  that 
I  could  be  very  useful):  but  I  am  only  a 
humble  individual,  however  kindly  my  friends 
may  be  pleased  to  think  of  me;  and  I  repeat, 
that  matters  are  come  to  a  tine  pass  indeed, 
if  such  a  humble  and  unpretending  man  as 
myself  cannot  take  his  proper  share  in  the 
public  duty  without  being  scurrilously  libelled, 
and  mercilessly  and  falsely  abused!" 

"Really,  it  is  too  bad,  Mr.  Bedworth;  I  am 
not  surprised  at  your  temper  being  a  little 
ruffled  by  it." 

"Pardon  me,  Sir,  there  you  are  wrong — 
quite  wrong:  I  have  lived  too  much  before 
the  world  to  allow  my  temper  to  be  ruffled  by 
any  provocation:  no  man  is  fit  for  public 
life,  who  allows  his  temper  to  be  ruffled.  I 
never  was  ruffled  in  my  life,  Sir;  never!" 

I  saw  I  was  in  danger,  and  speedily  re- 
treated. 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Bedworth.  I 
judged  of  you  by  myself;  my  patience  never 
could  have  brooked  so  much  contumely  and 
insult;  but  I  was  not  born  for  public  life." 

"True,  Mr.  Sharpe;  very  few  men  are;  it 
was  long  before  I  discovered  my  own  peculiar 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  67 

fitness  for  it;  but  you  are  losing  sight  of  the 
immediate  question." 

The  orator  himself  had  lost  sight  of  it,  like 
many  other  modern  orators;  but  we  must 
humour  our  clients  a  little. 

"  I  have  indeed,  Mr.  Bedworth :  you  quite 
carried  away  my  feelings,  and  that  I  confess,  is 
a  great  fault  in  one  of  my  profession;  but 
what  course  do  you  intend  to  take  ?  " 

He  was  flattered  by  this  deferential  appeal  to 
his  superior  sagacity. 

"  Certainly,  Mr.  Sharpe ;  I  well  thought 
over  the  subject  before  I  called  on  you ;  in  fact 
I  gave  to  it  all  the  powers  of  my  mind  :  under 
your  correction,  Sir,  I  think  that  a  criminal 
information  is  the  course." 

"That  is  scarcely  usual  in  cases  of  private 
libel,  unless  the  libel  is  intended  to  provoke  a 
challenge." 

"  Private  libel,  Mr.  Sharpe  !  private  libel,  do 
you  call  it,  where  a  base  and  cowardly  attack 
is  made  on  a  public  man  ?  " 

I  was  again  in  imminent  peril. 

"  Doubtless,  Sir,  it  is  your  public  character 
that  has  induced  the  libel ;  but  it  is  neverthe- 
less a  libel  peculiarly  of  a  private  character,  to 


C8       ADVENTURES  OP  AN  ATTORNEY 

reflect  upon  the  honesty  of  a  tradesman's  -past 
career." 

"  But  all  rny  friends  will  expect  me  to  take 
the  more  dignified  course  on  such  a  serious 
occasion  ;  so  I  have  determined  upon  it,  if  you 
please." 

"  Very  well,  Mr.  Bed  worth ;  the  first  thing 
then  is  the  affidavit.  I  see  you  are  called  a 
"gaol-bird,"  a  "rogue  of  enterprise,"  and  a 
"gazetted  thief;"  your  name  is  not  specified 
certainly,  but  you  have  no  doubt,  I  presume, 
that  you  are  the  party  intended?" 

"  None  at  all,  none  whatever  :  '  the  principal 
speaker '  at  this  celebrated  meeting,  could  be 
nobody  but  me,  Sir.  I  was  undoubtedly  the 
principal  speaker  there.  I  moved  the  first  reso- 
lution; I  seconded  the  third;  I  spoke  on  the 
fourth;  I  opposed  the  amendment ;  and  finally, 
I  returned  thanks  to  the  chair.  Indeed,  I  may 
say  that  nobody  of  any  consequence  took  any 
part  in  the  affair,  but  myself." 

"  Then  it  is  unquestionable,  Mr.  Bedworth, 
that  you  are  the  '  gaol-bird  ?  '  " 

"  1  am,  Sir." 

"  And  the  '  rogue  of  enterprise  ?  '  " 

"  I  am,  Sir." 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  69 

"  And  a  '  gazetted  thief? '  " 

"I  am,  Sir.  I  am  the  '  goal-  bird/  the  '  rogue 
ci  enterprise,'  and  the  l  gazetted  thief : '  all  in 
one — Triajuncta  in  una,  Sir/' 

"  Well  then,  we  must  deny  it  all  on  oath." 

"  That  is  easily  done." 

"  I  will  prepare  the  affidavit  to-night,  if  you 
will  favor  me  with  a  short  narrative  of  the  last 
few  years  of  your  trading  life." 

"  What  has  that  to  do  with  it?"  (in  obvious 
alarm). 

"  We  must  go  into  court  with  clean  hands, 
you  know  ;  and  not  only  deny  the  charge,  hut 
all  color  and  foundation  for  it." 

A  dead  pause  followed,  for  which  I  was  at  a 
loss  to  account,  and  therefore  deemed  it  prudent 
not  to  interrupt  it. 

"  I  am  thinking,  Mr.  Sharpe,  that  a  wise 
man  must  look  a  little  to  himself,  even  in  public 
affairs.  A  criminal  information  is  a  costly 
article,  I  fear." 

"Yes:  it  costs  some  money:  fees  to  counsel 
on  two  motions  —  office  copies  of  long  affidavits 
—  fees  again  on  the  trial,  mount  up  to  some- 
thing." 

"  What  do  you  suppose?" 


70       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

"A  hundred  and  fifty  pounds,  at  least." 
"A  hundred  and  fifty  pounds,  Sir!  a  hundred 
and  fifty  pounds,  Mr.  Sharpe!!!  No  informa- 
tion for  ine  on  such  terms.  So  because  a  man 
is  a  public  man,  he  may  be  libelled,  scandalized, 
vilified,  and  can  only  purchase  redress  by  utter 
ruin  !  Oh,  how  little  does  the  world  imagine 
what  we  must  endure  who  devote  ourselves  to 
the  public  good!" 

"You  may  bring  an  action,  Mr.  Bedworth." 

"  And  get  a  farthing  damages  for  my  pains; 

for  a  man  in  my  station  cannot  expect  to  find 

twelve  men  together,  without  a  political  enemy 

among  them ! " 

"  Then  you  may  indict." 
"What  will  that  cost  me?" 
"A     trifle     comparatively — fifty     or    sixty 
pounds." 

"Do  you  call  that  a  trifle ? " 
"  Yes ;    for  such  a  luxury  as  law." 
"  Well,  I  don't  know :  I  am  so  committed  to 
my  friends   and  with  my  part}':    I  must  do 
something.     Can't  you  say  forty  pounds  ?  " 
"  It  may  be  no  more :  I  can  not  pledge  myself." 
"  '  Tis  a  hard  case,  a  very  hard  case,  a  cruel 
case;  but  I  must  stick  to  principle :  so  indict." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  71 

To  cut  short  a  long^  story,  though  not  want- 
ing in  instruction,  the  bill  was  preferred  six 
times,  before  it  was  returned  a  true  bill;  the 
press  caught  scent  of  the  proceedings,  and  re- 
venged themselves  by  new  libels  that  piqued 
my  wrong-headed  client  into  renewed  exertion; 
and  finally  his  costs  swelled  up  to  three  hun- 
dred and  sixty  pounds.  He  then  libelled  me  for 
having  deceived  him:  paid  me  with  a  bill  at 
twelve  months,  which  was  dishonored;  and  at 
the  end  of  some  three  years,  and  not  before,  my 
costs  were  paid,  and  my  public -spirited  client 
forever  lust  to  me,  not  less,  however,  ■  to  my 
satisfaction  than  to  his. 


72  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER    VII. 

"Emit  domum— prope  dimidio  carius,  quam  sestimabat." 

Cic.  pro  Dom. 

One  axiom  on  the  question  of  costs  is  so 
obviously  true,  that  we  can  not  avoid  surprise  at 
our  clients  so  often  losing  sight  of  it.  If  they 
wish  only  to  pay  their  attorney  like  a  shoe- 
black, they  will  soon  have  only  shoe -blacks  for 
their  attorneys.  No  man  can  limit  himself  as 
to  the  extent  of  costs,  without  cramping  his 
exertions  to  a  degree  that  may  prove  highly  in- 
jurious to  his  client's  interests.  The  casualties 
and  accidents  of  litigation  are  so  frequent,  and 
sometimes  so  expensive,  that  they  occasion 
more  expenditure  than  even  the  whole  of  the 
proceedings  that  go  on  in  the  accustomed 
course;  and  if  the  cause  of  action  is  not  of 
sufficient  importance  to  warrant  costs  out  of 
the  ordinary  routine,   if  necessary,  it  is  wiser 


IN    SEARCH    Oh-   PRACTICE.  To 

and  more  honest  to  advise  the  client  to  submit 
to  his  loss.  This  maxim  must  be  received  cum 
ffra.no,  certainly;  but  in  cases  where  character  is 
not  involved,  or  rights  ultra  the  subject-matter 
<>f  the  litigation,  it  is  invariably  true.  In  ordi- 
nary actions  to  recover  debts,  or  damages  for 
pecuniary  injury,  the  expense  resolves  itself  into 
mere  matter  of  arithmetical  calculation;  such 
actions,  however,  form  by  no  means  the  staple 
commodity  in  the  business  of  an  eminent  attor- 
ney. A  curious  instance  of  this  accidental 
expenditure  to  a  small  extent,  once  occurred  to 
myself. 

I  was  engaged  in  a  cause  at  the  assizes  about 
fifty  miles  from  London.  It  stood  first  in  the 
paper  for  the  day  following  my  arrival.  I  had 
traveled  from  town  in  a  post-chaise  with  two 
of  my  witnesses,  one  of  whom  was  a  surveyor 
of  eminence,  who  had  been  subpoenaed  to  pro- 
duce his  report  of  certain  dilapidations.  This 
gentleman  was  one  of  the  convivial  corps, 
remarkably  corpulent,  jolly,  and  good-humored. 
On  arriving  at  the  assize  town  about  seven 
o'clock  in  the  evening,  I  placed  him  in  the  post 
that  he  had  been  anxiously  coveting  for  some 
three  or  four  hours  previously,  at  a  table  en- 


74  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

sconced  in  a  snug  box  in  the  coffee-room,  with 
his  favorite  dish  before  him,  a  bottle  of  the 
best  port,  and  such  a  tire  by  his  side  as  one 
views  with  pleasure  in  a  raw,  cold  evening  in 
March.  He  had  been  up  with  me  all  the  pre- 
ceding night,  discussing  evidence.  I  now  told 
him  to  discuss  his  steak,  make  himself  com- 
fortable, and  go  to  bed,  while  I  attended  the 
consultation.  Mr.  Baron  Gurney  was  my 
counsel;  a  man  that  no  flaw  in  evidence  could 
escape. 

"  Has  Mr.  Gubble  been  served  with  a  duces 
tecum,  Mr.  Sharpe?" 

"  Yes,  Sir." 

"  Where  is  his  report  ?  " 

"  Here,  Sir,"  (producing  it.) 

"  This !  "  said  Gurney.  "  This  can  never  be 
the  original :  it  is  too  neat  and  methodical. 
"Where  are  the  memorandums  from  which  he 
prepared  it  ?  " 

It  had  quite  escaped  me  to  ask  for  them  ;  yet 
it  was  obvious  that  the  non- production  of 
them  would  seem  suspicious,  and  insure  the 
rejection  of  the  copy  as  evidence.  I  hastily 
returned  to  Gubble,  and  found  him  wrapt  in 
full  enjoyment:  the  cloth  removed;  the  bottle 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  75 

but  half  exhausted ;  the  feet  relieved  from  the 
incumbrance  of  tight  damp  boots,  and  relaxing 
their  swelled  tendons  in  comfortable  slippers; 
the  legs  extended  on  a  second  chair,  and  the 
eyes  heedlessly  closing  over  the  leading  article 
of  a  daily  paper ;  while  a  night-  cap  was  already 
overshadowing  his  bald  temples. 

"  Mr.  Gubble  !  Mr.  Gubble  !  "  I  exclaimed, 
"  rouse  yourself,  Mr.  Gubble,  and  come  to  the 
consultation !  " 

"House  myself!  consultation!  What  do 
you  mean  ?  is  the  house  on  fire  ?  " 

"You  must  explain  your  report.  Gurney 
doesn't  understand  it." 

"Report!  consultation!  I  had  just  settled 
into  a  doze.  Confound  your  ways  of  business ! 
I  don't  half  like  them." 

"Come,  man;  off  with  your  cap,  and  on 
with  your  boots,  and  come  along  with  me." 

He  slowly  raised  one  leg  from  the  chair,  and 
then  the  other,  gasping  between  each  operation ; 
pushed  the  cap  back  on  his  forehead ;  groped 
along  the  table  for  his  snuff-box;  and  with  the 
finger  and  thumb  on  the  lid,  not  yet  raised, 
growled  out,  "  Con-sul-ta-tion !  what  d'ye 
mean  ? "     I  repeated  my  summons,  but  he  was 


76  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

in  no  hurry ;  and  deliberately  exhausting  the 
pinch  with  one  hand,  while  he  supplied  his 
glass  with  the  other,  desired  me  to  ring  the  bell. 

"  Waiter,  send  chamb'maid.  Con-sul-ta-tion ! 
what  has  a  weary  man  like  me  to  do  with  con- 
sultations ?     Chamb'maid !  " 

She  entered. 

"Lit  the  fire,  Betty?" 

"  Yes,  Sir." 

"  Bed  uppermost,  Betty  ?  " 

"Yes,  Sir." 

"  Three  blankets  ?  " 

"All  right,  Sir." 

"Pan  of  coals?" 

"Aired  it  well,  Sir." 

"Live  coals  at  nine,  Betty;  stir  the  fire  a 
little  before,  Betty;  draw  the  curtains;  mind  a 
rush  -  light ;  send  waiter. ' ' 

The  waiter  again  appeared. 

"What  can  I  have  for  supper,  waiter?" 

"What  you  please,  Sir." 

"Something  light:  devilled  gizzard? 

"No,  Sir." 

"  Sausages  ? " 

"  Can't  recommend  'em,  Sir." 

"Oysters?" 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  77 

"Very  fine,  Sir,  and  fresh:  how  would  you 
like 'em?" 

"Scalloped — Welsh  rabbit  to  follow  —  egg 
flip." 

"When,  Sir?" 

"Immediately — in  ten  minutes:  and  now  for 
your  con-sul-ta-tion,  Mr.  Sharpe." 

The  night-cap  was  easily  superseded  by  the 
hat,  but  all  the  bootmakers  in  London  could 
not  have  replaced  the  calf- skin  on  his  expander! 
limbs.  He  toddled  along  in  his  slippers  as  well 
as  he  could,  over  the  slippery,  half- frozen 
stones.  I  would  not  suffer  him  to  wait  to  re- 
sume his  coat,  which  he  had  exchanged  for  his 
dressing-gown  before  he  began  his  dinner. 
Groaning,  yawning,  and  cursing  all  law  and 
all  lawyers,  Gubble  entered  the  chambers, 
sfaring  round  in  perplexity,  and  rubbing 
his  eyes,  as  if  doubtful  whether  it  was  not  a 
dream. 

"Mr.  Gubble,  your  memorandums." 

"  Memorandums ! " 

"Yes:  those  from  which  your  report  is  pre- 
pared." 

"Report!" 

"Yes;  your  report.     Are  you  awake,  man?" 


78       \DVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

"Zounds!     I  scarcely  know.     I  was  just  go- 
ing to  bed." 

"Go  when  you  like;  but  we  must  have  the 
memorandums." 

"  Memorandums !  I've  got  no  memoran- 
dums.    Sharpe  has  the  report." 

"  Tut !  man ;  I  have  the  report  here,  in  my 
hand,  but  where  is  your  note-book?" 

"Note -book!" 

"Yes;  note -book:  have  you  no  papers  but 
this?" 

"  Why,  I  don't  know  what  more  you  want. 
I  have  a  sort  of  pocket-book,  but  it's  of  no 
use." 

"Where  is  it?" 

"At  home." 

"Where?" 

"At  Hackney." 

"  You  must  go  for  it ! " 

"Go  for  it!!!" 

"  Certainly." 

"What,  to  Hackney !!!  " 

"  To  Hackney." 

"Well,  this  is  a  queer  business!  go  back  to 
Hackney,  and  subpoenaed  here  !  " 

"!Not  at  all;  you  must  fetch  it." 


TN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  79 

"  I  fetch  it !  that's  a  good  one !  Boots  must 
call  me  early  in  the  morning,  I  fancy  !  " 

'•  Morning,  man  !  you  must  be  back  by  the 
morning !  " 

"Back  by  morning!  Hackney,  to-night! ! ! 
a  hundred  miles  to-night!!!  sure  you  are 
mad ! " 

"Very  likely;  "  coolly  observed  Gurney,  "but 
it  must  be  done." 

"You'll  not  catch  me  doing  it,  I  can  tell  you, 
done  or  undone  ;  I've  not  half  finished  my  din- 
ner ;  and  ten  minutes  more  would  have  found 
me  in  bed,  which  I  never  leave  at  night,  unless 
burnt  out," 

But  Mr.  Gurney  had  given  me  my  cue.  A 
chaise  and  four  was  already  at  the  door ;  poor 
Gubble's  great  coat  and  boots  safely  deposited 
within  it,  with  an  extra  blanket,  and  a  second 
bottle  to  keep  him  warm.  TVe  bundled  and 
heaved  him  into  the  chaise,  half  by  persuasion, 
and  half  by  force,  and  cautioned  the  boys  not 
to  let  him  oat  for  the  first  two  stages ;  trusting 
to  his  fears  and  his  good  sense  to  do  the  rest, 
when  he  was  sufficiently  awake  to  reflect  on  it. 
We  reckoned  rightly.  He  was  back  by  ten  the 
next  morning;    entered  the  court  as  we  were 


80  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

called  on,  unshaved,  undressed,  but  elated  with 
the  thought  of  his  activity;  produced  his 
pocket-book,  and  saved  the  cause,  though  at 
an  accidental  cost  of  some  five  -  and  -  twenty 
pounds.  The  fault,  however,  was  not  mine: 
for  I  had  cautioned  him  by  letter,  as  I  always 
do  on  such  occasions,  to  bring  with  him  every 
scrap  of  paper  that  he  possessed,  and  he  told 
me  that  he  had  done  so. 

These  accidental  "  aggravations  of  expense," 
(it  is  the  best  term  I  can  invent  for  them,)  are 
not  uncommon,  after  bestowing  the  utmost  care 
that  foresight  can  suggest,  A  very  similar  in- 
stance has  occurred  to  my  recollection  while 
writing  the  preceding  one.  It  happened  to  me 
during  my  clerkship,  and  is  the  more  instruc- 
tive, because  it  shows  that  even  the  discretion 
of  a  clerk  must  sometimes  be  largely  exercised 
on  the  necessity  of  incurring  extra  costs.  I 
had  been  entrusted  with  the  management  of  a 
very  important  ease,  involving  the  interests  of  a 
great  commercial  body,  as  well  as  the  personal 
character  of  some  of  its  members  holding  high 
rank  in  the  city.  In  this,  as  in  many  cases,  1 
dare  not  be  more  particular.  It  was  deemed  of 
such  consequence  to  obtain  a  verdict,  that  the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  81 

witness  cm  whose  testimony  we  principally 
relied,  had  been  maintained  in  seclusion  at  a 
country  place  two  hundred  miles  from  London, 
for  nearly  two  years,  at  an  expense  of  £150  per 
annum,  till  the  case  was  ripe  for  trial.  All  this 
time  he  was  vigilantly  watched,  unknown  to 
himself.  I  dared  not  bring  him  to  town  till  the 
day  but  one  before  the  trial ;  but  that  was  time 
enough  for  mischief;  he  threw  himself  in  the 
way  of  one  of  the  defendants,  and  the  next 
morning  he  was  on  bis  road  to  Calais.  As 
soon  as  I  found  that  he  was  missing,  I  reported 
the  matter  to  Mr.  Gurney,  who  on  this  occasion 
also,  was  the  leading  counsel.  It  was  one  of 
the  many  qualities  of  this  distinguished  advo- 
cate, that  he  was  not  only  in  vtnnnque,  but  in 
quodcuiujue  paratus.  I  was  almost  desperate 
with  disappointment;  but  while  he  felt  the 
embarrassment,  he  at  once  suggested  the  rem- 
edy. The  fellow -clerk  of  the  rascal  that  had 
absconded  was  almost  equally  familiar  with  the 
facts  we  wished  to  prove,  but,  as  we  feared,  still 
less  trustworthy. 

"  It's  bad  enough,  Mr.  Sharpe,  bad  enough, 
certainly;    but  it   can't   be   helped;    subpoena 

White." 

4* 


82  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

Away  I  started  to  subpoena  Mr.  White ;  it 
was  still  early  in  the  day.  This  youug  man 
was  engaged  in  the  counting-house  of  some 
merchants  in  the  city ;  people  in  large  business. 
I  rang  the  bell,  and  was  answered  by  one  of 
the  clerks.  "  Is  Mr.  White  within  ?  "  "I  will 
inquire,  Sir."  I  waited  nearly  five  minutes ; 
and  thinking  that  so  simple  a  question  might 
have  received  a  more  speedy  answer,  I  de- 
termined to  follow  into  the  counting-house.  It 
was  divided  by  railing  into  compounds.  I 
walked  up  to  the  railing  of  the  nearest  desk. 
"  Is  Mr.  White  within  ?  " 

"No,  Sir." 

"  When  do  you  expect  him  ?  " 

"  It  is  very  uncertain." 

"  Where  does  he  live  ? " 

"At  Walworth." 

"The  street?" 

"I  don't  know,  Sir." 

During  this  parley  I  kept  my  eyes  about  me, 
and  observed  that  several  of  the  clerks  bent 
their  heads  over  their  desks,  while  two  or  three 
were  obviously  retaining  laughter  with  some 
difficulty.  I  effected  to  be  considering  what  I 
should  do,  while  in  reality  I  was  counting  the 


IN"    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  83 

clerks,  and  comparing  their  number  with  the 
hats  which  I  saw  hung  up  against  the  wall. 
There  was  a  hat  too  many,  and  a  vacant  desk. 
"  So  ho  !  "  thought  I  to  myself,  "  the  seat  is 
still  warm ;  "  for  I  was  an  old  sportsman,  while 
yet  a  very  young  man ;  "  the  game  can't  be 
very  far  off,"  and  then  without  more  ceremony, 
I  opened  the  door  of  the  compound,  and  seating 
myself  on  the  vacant  stool,  said  I  would  leave 
a  note  for  him.  I  found  the  keys  in  the  lock, 
— an  additional  proof  that  my  suspicions  were 
correct.  Under  pretense  of  looking  for  some 
paper,  on  which  to  write  my  note,  I  opened  the 
desk;  found  in  it,  after  tumbling  over  some 
loose  papers,  a  letter  with  his  address  at  "Wal- 
worth; and  then,  saying  that  I  had  changed 
my  mind  as  to  writing,  and  would  call  again 
in  the  evening,  I  quitted  the  house.  I  lost  no 
time  in  sending  off  a  messenger  express  to 
Dover,  with  a  copy  of  the  subpoena,  and  a  des- 
cription of  his  person,  while  I  started  myself 
for  AValworth,  and  arrived  just  ten  minutes 
after  he  had  left  it  in  a  chaise  for  Dartford ! 
His  servant  or  his  wife,  whichever  it  might  be, 
thinking  him  safely  off,  honestly  confessed  that 
he  had  absconded  to  avoid  service  of  the  sub- 


84  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

poena,  having  long  expected  it ;  he  was  actually 
in  the  counting-house,  when  I  had  called  there  : 
the  clerk,  who  opened  the  door  to  me,  detected 
ray  business  by  a  piece  of  red  tape  hanging  out 
of  my  pocket ;  and  whilst  I  was  catechising  the 
others  as  to  his  residence,  he  had  escaped  by 
another  door,  run  home  to  get  another  hat  and 
bolted.  But  I  was  prepared  :  I  had  post-horses 
waiting  for  me  a  hundred  yards  off;  got  first 
to  Dartford ;  subpoenaed  him  as  he  drove  into 
the  yard ;  brough  t  him  back  in  the  same  chaise ; 
and  by  his  evidence,  obtained  a  verdict  the  next 
day,  but  certainly  at  no  slight  additional  costs, 
in  the  shape  of  traveling  expenses! 

The  casualties  of  litigation  are  so  numerous 
and  diversified,  that  it  is  utterly  impossible, 
unless  in  the  simplest  matter,  to  foretel  the  ex- 
penses. The  recent  reforms  in  pleading,  by 
compelling  a  disclosure  of  the  real  defense,  have 
reduced,  but  not  superseded  the  speculative 
guesses  of  the  attorney  :  indeed,  in  one  respect, 
they  have  added  to  the  difficulty ;  because,  by 
success  on  one  issue,  and  failure  on  another,  a 
debtor  and  creditor  account  of  costs  is  estab- 
lished, the  balance  of  which  may,  by  possibility, 
be  against  a  plaintiff,  though  he  has  been  sue- 


IN    SEARCH   OF    PRACTICE.  85 

cessful  on  the  general  merits.  It  is  a  very 
pleasant  thing,  no  doubt,  to  have  to  tell  your 
client,  "  Oh  yes,  Sir !  we  have  succeeded  for 
you;  but  instead  of  receiving  costs,  you  will 
have  forty  or  fifty  pounds  to  pay  to  your  oppon- 
ent." Independently  of  this,  a  hundred  acci- 
dents may  occur,  all  tending  to  multiply  costs. 
A  witness  may  be  ill,  and  the  record  must  be 
withdrawn  ;  a  bill  for  discovery  may  be  advised; 
an  injunction  may  be  obtained  by  the  defendant; 
a  cross  action  may  be  brought;  indispensable 
witnesses  may  have  made  a  trip  to  Naples  or 
.New  York,  and  must  be  examined  on  interrog- 
atories; in  a  word,  so  many  deviations  may, 
and  generally  do  occur,  that  no  prudent  solici- 
tor will  ever  insure  his  client  against  the 
amount  of  costs,  unless  in  the  most  general, 
and  therefore  the  most  unsatisfactory  way. 
The  right  answer  is,  "  If  costs  are  an  object, 
settle  your  quarrel  out  of  court,  as  best  you 
may  :  '*  and  to  clients  themselves,  I  may  ob- 
serve, that  if  an  attorney  is  disposed  to  be  dis- 
honest, no  skill  can  avail  them  against  over- 
charges; for  his  charges  may  be  individually 
reasonable,  and  even  low,  but  so  needlessly 
frequent,  as  to  make  the  sum  total  of  his  bill 


86  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

nothing  less  than  fraudulent,  though  none  but 
a  brother  -  attorney  can  detect  the  fraud.  It  is 
often  the  case  with  mean  and  illiberal  clients, 
that  they  submit  their  attorney's  bill  to  another 
practitioner,  unknown  to  him.  Every  solicitor 
should  be  prepared  for  this  ;  for  I  have  known 
too  many  instances,  where  to  curry  favor  with 
a  new  acquaintance,  or  to  acquire  on  easy  terms 
a  credit  for  moderation,  an  attorney  has  pro- 
nounced severe  and  mischievous  judgment  on 
the  costs  of  his  respectable  neighbor,  though  all 
in  the  profession  would  rightly  consign  the 
critic  himself  to  the  shades  of  Newgate,  as  an 
incorrigible  thief. 

How  my  unprofessional  readers  will  stare  (if 
I  chance  to  find  any),  when  I  remark  that  one 
of  the  most  difficult  problems  that  an  attorney 
has  to  solve,  is  to  what  extent  he  may  properly 
make  any  charge  at  all !  Yet  I  rejoice  to  say, 
for  it  is  to  the  credit  of  my  profession,  that  with 
the  respectable  members  of  it,  this  is  frequently 
a  preplexing  question.  It  occurs  in  many 
ways ;  the  most  common  is  this  : — an  old  and 
valuable  client  becomes  acquainted  with  a  case 
of  great  hardship,  and  perhaps  oppression, 
involving  legal  points;  he  calls  on  his  attorney, 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  87 

and  avowedly  on  benevolent  impulse,  asks  his 
opinion ;  the  opinion  involves,  as  a  matter  of 
course,  inquiry  into  fact  and  evidence,  for  very 
few  clients  understand  the  value  of  the  one,  or 
detail  the  other  with  accuracy ;  the  sufferer  is 
sent  to  explain  his  grievance :  it  admits  of  re- 
dress; the  client  liberally  offers  to  indemnify 
against  disbursements  ;  the  attorney  can  do  no 
less  than  waive  profits  ;  and  thus  a  suit  is  begun 
gratuitously,  partly  from  charitable  feeling,  yet 
more  from  anxiety  to  oblige  a  client,  and  time 
and  labor  are  soon  bestowed  to  a  most  incon- 
venient extent.  In  a  simple  case  like  this,  there 
is  no  help  for  it :  matters  must  proceed  to  an 
end  in  the  usual  routine,  and  compensation 
must  be  found  in  conscience ;  but  this  simple 
case  admits  of  many  variations,  and  then  the 
difficulty  begins.  The  client  may  go  no  further 
than  just  asking  an  opinion;  the  opinion  is,  on 
the  whole,  favorable ;  the  injured  pauper  is  not 
poor  enough  to  claim  a  pauper's  privilege ;  if 
you  desert  him,  you  offend  your  client,  who, 
ignorant  of  the  expense,  as  well  as  trouble  that 
the  offer  implies,  expects  you  will  spontaneously 
take  up  the  case ;  partial  success  follows ;  a 
wrong-headed    jury, — and     nineteen     out    of 


88  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

twenty  are  wrong- headed, — give  ten  pounds 
damages  for  a  broken  leg,  when  they  would 
not  have  their  own  gouty  toes  trod  upon 
for  fifty;  some  thirty  more  are  recovered  for 
taxed  costs,  and  (the  case  has  occurred  to  my- 
self) after  receiving  these  "party  and  party*' 
allowances,  you  remain  more  than  twenty  out 
of  pocket.  You  may  gain  a  verdict  for  your 
pauper  client,  and  swallow  up  all  the  fruits  of 
his  triumph,  even  to  repay  extra  costs  out  of 
pocket!  Reason  and  equity  would  say  in  such 
a  case,  that  the  attorney  is  excusable  for  pocket- 
ing the  damages,  as  well  as  the  costs;  yet 
character  and  interest  forbid  it.  It  is  a  hard 
case:  but  the  attorney  must  relinquish  all, 
though  successful ;  and  to  retain  the  character 
of  a  gentleman,  must  abandon,  not  only  re- 
muneration, but  bare  indemnity.  The  most 
annoying  of  all  causes  that  a  man  can  under- 
take, is  where  he  recovers  damages,  moderate 
or  temperate  damages,  as  they  are  called,  that 
is  to  say,  fifty  pounds  for  the  loss  of  an 
eye,  or  thirty  for  the  crippling  of  a  limb, 
for  a  humble  client  thrust  upon  him  by  a 
wealthy  patron,  or  adopted  out  of  Christian 
charity !     How  often  have   I  known  jurymen 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  89 

vaunt  with  self-complacency,  of  their  justice, 
when  some  poor  devil  has  obtained  from  this 
same  justice,  just  enough  to  pa}7  his  surgeon's 
bill,  after  having  been  disabled  for  life  by  a 
drunken  coachman,  or  a  larking  dandy ;  while 
the  attorney,  who  has  brought  the  action  from 
mere  compassion,  has  had  the  pleasure  of 
hearing  himself  branded  by  counsel,  as  a  wretch 
prowling  about  the  streets  for  quarrels,  and 
obtains  for  his  benevolence,  taxed  costs  that 
will  just  pay  for  coach -hire  and  a  blue  bag  to 
take  his  papers  home  !  I  lament  to  add  that  I 
never  heard  of  counsel  relinquishing  fees  for  a 
successful  pauper  ;  though  I  have  known  many 
in  which  the  attorney  of  that  pauper  has  been 
left  to  pay  such  fees  out  of  his  own  pocket. 

There  are  other  instances,  where  even  among 
the  wealthy,  good  feeling  prohibits  an  attorney 
from  asking  costs.  As  a  general  rule,  it  may 
be  laid  down  that  they  never  should  be  taken 
from  a  charity  purse.  The  retainer  may  be  re- 
fused :  but  if  accepted,  nothing  can  be  claimed, 
but  money  actually  expended.  Sometimes, 
however,  yet  greater  liberality  should  be  shown. 
It  once  fell  to  my  lot  to  be  consulted  by  a  poor 
clergyman,  who  enjoyed  a  small  benefice  in  the 


90  ADVENTURES    OE   AN   ATTORNEY 

country.  In  the  plenitude  of  Christian  good- 
nature, he  had  hecome  security  to  the  extent  of 
£1000,  for  the  good  conduct  of  a  worthless  rela- 
tive, whose  only  chance  of  reform  appeared  to 
be  in  accepting  a  situation  of  some  pecuniary 
trust,  which  his  friends  had  procured  for  him. 
I  never  knew  a  case  in  which  such  good  offices 
worked  out  the  object  for  which  they  were  in- 
tended; and  so  it  happened  here:  the  rascal 
became  possessed  of  a  considerable  sum,  far  ex- 
ceeding the  penalty  of  the  bond,  and  absconded. 
My  client  was  immediately  required  to  indem- 
nify the  employers.  He  was  conscious  of  no 
defense,  and  utterly  destitute  of  all  means  of 
satisfying  the  demand,  except  by  mortgaging 
his  living.  His  self- reproaches  for  forgetting 
what  was  due  to  his  wife  and  infant  family,  in 
entering  into  such  a  bond,  not  unmingled  with 
painful  misgivings  whether  he  had  acted  hon- 
estly even  toward  his  opponents,  in  giving  an 
indemnity  that  he  found  he  could  not  satisfy, 
were  enough  to  touch  a  miser's  heart.  I  offer- 
ed my  assistance:  but  here  again  the  good  man 
hesitated,  because  "he  could  not  pay  me."  I 
re -assured  him  on  this  point,  by  declining  pay- 
ment, on    the   principle   that  professional  aid 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  91 

was  all  1  had  it  in  my  power  to  give  in  too 
many  cases  where  I  ought  to  be  more  libera!, 
and  therefore  I  made  a  compromise  with  my 
conscience  at  times,  by  sacrificing  six -and - 
eightpence,  and  debiting  charity  with  the 
amount.  lie  smiled  at  my  quaint  morality  in 
book-keeping,  and  allowed  me  to  investigate 
his  case;  the  rather,  because  there  was  too 
much  reason  to  fear  that  my  trouble  would 
only  extend  to  a  little  negotiation  for  indul- 
gence. I  was  too  much  interested  in  his  ease  to 
be  niggardly  in  my  exertions,  and  by  dint  of 
close  inquiry,  I  learned  that  the  money  which 
the  man  had  embezzled,  was  private  money, 
not  belonging  to  his  employers  collectively,  but 
entrusted  to  his  charge  by  one  of  them  on  his 
separate  account.  I  had  extreme  difficulty  in 
obtaining  evidence  of  this;  but  eventually  T 
succeeded,  and  defeated  the  claim,  or  rather 
compromised  it  on  terms  of  abandoning  all 
costs.  They  amounted  to  nearly  a  hundre  1 
pounds.  Meanwhile,  my  reverend  friend  be- 
came exposed  to  further  difficulty,  by  having 
the  young  family  of  a  brother  thrown  upon  his 
hands,  by  that  brother's  premature  decease. 
Could  a  solicitor,  under   such  circumstances, 


92       ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

call  on  him  for  costs?  or  ought  he  to  have 
withheld  his  aid  ?  I  cannot  answer  these  ques- 
tions for  others;  but  I  know  many  of  my  pro- 
fession who  would  have  followed  the  same 
course  as  myself.  Many  similar  instances 
could  be  given;  but  I  have  said  enough  on  the 
subject.  I  will  only  add,  that  it  is  prudent  to  re- 
linquish costs  altogether,  or  to  charge  the  usual 
and  reasonable  fees.  I  never  once  knew  a  client 
that  gave  one  credit  for  a  compromise. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  93 


CHAPTER    VIII. 


"Quo  virtus,  quo  ferat  error?"— Hor. 
—  Our  doubts  are  traitors, 


And  make  us  lose  the  good  we  oft  might  win 

By  fearing  to  attempt."  — Measure  for  Measure. 

The  "  timid "  form  a  very  unmanageable 
class  of  clients.  I  think  it  was  Dr.  Johnson, 
who  compared  plaintiff  and  defendant  to  two 
men  ducking  their  heads  in  a  bucket,  and  dar- 
ing each  other  to  remain  longest  under  water ; 
but  there  are  some  who  are  so  shy  of  the  im- 
mersion, that  the  very  sight  of  the  bucket 
makes  them  faint.  They  may  with  more  jus- 
tice, be  compared  to  a  dentist's  patient :  a  rack- 
ing tooth -ache,  of  which  he  knows  neither  the 
beginning  nor  the  end,  drives  him  to  the  sur- 
geon ;  but  the  bare  mention  of  "  extracting  " 
procures  temporary  ease — the  sight  of  the 
instrument  completes  the  cure.  "  I  feel  better 
already,  Sir :  the  tooth  may  be  serviceable  still : 


94  ADVENTURES   OF  AN   ATTORNEY 

I'll  call  again  to-morrow."  The  twitch  re- 
turns; but  he  prefers  pain  to  mutilation,  and 
endures  till  the  nerve  grows  callous.  In  like 
manner,  I  have  often  found  clients,  especially 
after  one  severe  operation,  submit  to  wrong, 
injury,  and  fraud  of  no  trifling  amount  in  the 
annual  rests  in  their  ledger,  rather  than  avail 
themselves  of  their  solicitor's  aid,  to  establish  a 
protecting  principle  in  their  dealings,  or  make 
an  example  of  an  habitual  depredator.  As  my 
practice  extended  I  met  many  characters  of  this 
class :  they  try  one's  patience  to  the  utmost. 
One  morning  I  was  intent  on  a  voluminous 
abstract  studiously  prepared,  so  as  to  envelope 
in  mystery  the  title  it  professed  to  expose.  I 
had  already  perused  it  twice  to  no  purpose ;  and 
beginning  to  doubt  whether  my  own  stupidity, 
or  the  conveyancer's  knavery,  was  the  cause  of 
all  the  obscurity,  I  had  manfully  resolved  on  a 
third  perusal,  while  the  subject  was  fresh  on 
my  mind  ;  when  in  walked  Messrs.  Simkiu  and 
Soft,  extensive  traders  in  Cheapside. 

"  This  is  Mr.  Soft,  my  partner,  Mr.  Sharpe : 
my  own  name  is  Simkin." 

I  bowed,  handed  them  chairs,  poked  the  fire, 
and  asked  their  business. 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  95 

"  You  see,  Mr.  Sharpe,"  began  Simkin,  "  we 
are  in  an  unpleasant  affair;  and  your  friends, 
Messrs.  Wilson  and  Co.,  having  recommended 
us  to  you,  we  wish  to  explain  that  —  " 

"  ISTow,  my  dear  Simkin,  you  should  begin  at 
the  beginning,"  interrupted  Soft ;  "  Mr.  Simkin 
should  have  told  you,  Sir,  that  for  many  years 
past  we  have  carried  on  the  business  of —  " 

"Excuse  me,  Soft:  we  did  not  begin  that 
business  till  1811 ;  but  I  will  take  it  up  from 
the  very  commencement.  I  will  begin  at  the 
beginning,  as  Soft  says.  In  the  year  1808,  we 
were  engaged  in  an  adventure  —  " 

"  Indeed,  Simkin,  you  are  wrong;  I  was  not 
in  the  firm  in  1808  ;  and  besides,  that  adventure 
had  nothing  to  do  with  it !  " 

"  I  am  not  going  to  speak  about  the  wools, 
Soft." 

"  Well,  you  know  best,  Simkin ;  but  unless 
you  tell  how  it  has  all  happened,  I  am  sure  Mr. 
Sharpe  will  not  understand  our  case  :  but  tell 
it  your  own  way." 

"Thank  ye,  Soft;  you're  always  a  kind 
fellow.  So,  Mr.  Sharpe,  as  I  was  saying,  in 
the  year  1808,  we  first  became  acquainted  with 
Shycocke." 


96  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  !No,  indeed,  Simkin  :  I  must  interrupt  you 
there  ;  for  you  are  quite  out.  Shycoeke  arrived 
at  Bristol,  in  the  Twin  Brothers,  as  supercargo, 
in  June,  1809." 

"I  believe  you're  right,  Soft:  you  always 
are.  Yes:  Shycoeke  arrived  in  1809,  with 
letters  of  credit  from  Puncheon,  Lees,  and  Co." 

"  They  were  the  shippers,  Simkin." 

"  They  were :  do  you  remember  the  captain's 
name? " 

"I  think  it  was  Hobbs." 

"  Surely  not :  wasn't  it  Dobson  ? ' 

"  Hobbs  or  Dobbs,  I'm  pretty  sure." 

I  saw  no  end  to  this,  and  took  the  liberty  of 
edging  in  a  word. 

"  Pray,  gentleman,  has  Mr.  Dobbs,  or  Hobbs, 
anything  to  do  with  your  present  embarrass- 
ment ?  " 

"Embarrassment,  Mr.  Sharpe!"  exclaimed 
Soft. 

".Did  you  say  embarrassed?"  asked  Sim- 
kin. 

"  We  are  by  no  means  embarrassed,  Sir !  " 
indignantly  cried  both  together. 

"You  mistake  me;  I  thought  you  spoke  of 
some  unpleasant  affair." 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  97 

"Yes,"  said  Simkin  :  "  and  a  very  unpleasant 
affair  it  is:  isn't  it,  Soft?" 

"  It  is  indeed;  and  one  we  are  by  no  means 
used  to  —  "  answered  the  partner. 

"Pray,  what  is  it,  gentlemen  ?"  and  this  plain 
question,  rather  abruptly  put,  surprised  them 
into  a  plain  answer. 

•■  An  attorney's  letter,"  replied  Simkin,  in  a 
most  lugubrious  tune. 

"  It  is  indeed,"  hysterically  added  Soft;  "it 
is  an  attorney's  letter,  begging  your  pardon, 
Mr.  Sharpe." 

"Well,  gentlemen,  there  is  no  great  harm  in 
that:  here  is  a  score  of  them  (pointing  to  my 
desk),  and  you  might  eat  them  for  any  harm 
they  would  do  you.     Let  me  read  it." 

Mr.  Simkin  drew  out  his  pocket-book,  with 
as  much  solemnity  as  I  have  seen  a  reverend 
antiquarian  produce  a  venerable  Hebrew  manu- 
script, and  unfolded  its  various  clasps,  with  the 
same  gravity  that  the  said  antiquarian  would 
slowly  unroll  the  interminable  vellum  from  its 
silver  rollers ;  while  poor  Soft  eyed  the  pro- 
ceeding with  a  fixedness  of  gaze,  that  argued 
intense  horror  of  the  contents.     I  could  scarcely 

forbear  laughing  outright  at  the  awful  delibera- 
5 


98  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

tion  with  which,  the  letter  of  Messrs.  Snappit 
and  Smart  was  submitted  to  my  inspection. 

"  Read  it,  Mr.  Sharpe,"  said  Simkin,  with 
impressive  dignity. 

"  Only  read  it,  Sir,"  echoed  Soft,  with  trem- 
bling eagerness. 

I  obeyed. 

"  Manchester,  January  21,  1827. 
Gentlemen, 

We  are  peremptorily  instructed  by  our 
respectable  clients,  Messrs.  Lomax  and  Co.,  of 
this  place,  to  demand  payment  of  the  sum  of 
£173.  5s.  2d.,  being  the  invoice  price  of  the 
cottons  consigned  to  your  house  at  New  York, 
in  the  month  of  May,  1825  ;  and  to  inform  you 
that  unless  the  same  is  forthwith  paid,  together 
with  6s.  8d.  for  the  costs  of  the  application,  we 
shall  proceed  against  you,  without  further 
notice. 

We  are,  Gentlemen, 

Your  obedient  servants, 

Snappit  &  Smart." 

",£173.  5s.  2d.,  Mr.  Sharpe!" 
"Together    with    six-and-eightpence,    Mr. 
Sharpe !  ! " 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  99 

"  Forthwith,  Sir  !  what  do  you  say  to  that?  " 
"  And   without   further   notice,  too !  "    half 
sobbed  out  Soft. 

"  Well  but,  gentlemen,  I  suppose  you   pur- 
chased the  cottons  ?  " 

"Did  ,/vbuv  them,  Soft?" 
"I  think  not  indeed,  my  dear  Simpkin." 
"  Then  who  did  ?    were  they  bought  at  all  ?  " 
"  There  it  is,  Mr.  Sharpe  !  there  it  is !  " 
"  There  is  where  the  shoe  pinches,  Sir !  " 
"It's  all  along  of  that  rascal  Shycocke.     I 
was  coming  to  him,  when  Soft  interrupted  me." 
"Ay  :  'tis  all  his  doing,  Simkin." 
I  foresaw  another  duet ;    but  beginning  to 
understand  my  new  friends,  I  perceived  that 
the  only  way  to  cut  short  the  matter,  was  to 
cross-examine    them    for    myself;    and    soon 
arrived  at  the  simple  fact,  that  this  Shycocke 
was  a  great  rogue,  that  had  been  carving  on 
trade  on  his  own  account,  but  in  the  name  of 
his  employers,   who  had  placed   their  foreign 
establishment  at  Xew  York  entirely  under  his 
care.     But  here  was   the  difficulty :  they  had 
rashly  confided  to  this  agent  powers  so  ample, 
that  it  was  scarcely  possible  to  contend  that 
the  goods  had  been  supplied  on  his  credit,  and 


]00  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

not  their  own  ;  while  to  recognize  his  agency 
on  this  occasion,  by  adopting  a  contract  that 
he  was  not  empowered  to  make,  exposed  them 
to  similar  demands,  the  extent  of  which  could 
not  even  be  guessed  at.  In  this  dilemma,  I  of 
course  advised  the  bolder  course  of  resisting 
the  first  application,  even  at  the  risk  of  costs. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  understand  all  you 
say;  heigh-ho!  I  understand,  —  diddled  either 
way ;  but  I  can't  help  thinking  it  best  to  pay 
the  money." 

"  Sad  job ;  but  first  loss  is  the  least !  "  sorrow- 
fully ejaculated  Soft. 

"  Very  true,  Mr.  Soft,  if  you  can  be  sure  that 
it  is  the  last  as  wrell  as  the  first." 

"  What  did  you  say  the  costs  would  be,  Sir  ?  " 

"  I  told  you  I  did  not  know,  Mr.  Simkin : 
we  must  examine  evidence  in  America." 

"  Evidence  in  America  !  oh  dear,  oh  dear !  " 

"  I  think,  Soft,  you  had  better  go  to  ISTew 
York.     Won't  that  do,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?  " 

"Me  go  to  New  York!  bless  me,  Simkin, 
what  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"It  would  be  a  pleasant  trip,  Mr.  Soft." 

"Pleasant  trip,  Sir!  la,  Sir!  do  you  know 
what  it  would  cost  ?  " 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  101 

"  Can't  you  do  without  evidence,  Mr. 
Sharpe?"  (coaxingl '>/.)  '       '*'  • 

"It  is  just  possible  thai:,  we  might  :<'Qnt-W:> 
by  a  fishing  bill  in  Chancery  —  " 

"  Chancery !  "  groaned  Simkin. 

"  Chancery  !  "  screamed  Soft.  "  Throw  us 
into  Chancery  !  Heaven  have  mercy  on  us  !  TVe 
had  better  pay  the  money,  and  have  done  with 
it,  Simkin." 

"  I'd  rather  pa}'  it  ten  times  over,"  replied  his 
partner,  "  than  get  my  head  into  Chancery. 
How  can  you  talk  so,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?  but  I  see 
you  were  only  joking." 

"Indeed  I  never  joke  on  serious  business;  " 
a  great  lie  by  the  way,  for  which  my  conscience 
pricked  me;  for  I  always  joke  where  I  can: 
but  this  was  clearly  no  fitting  occasion,  as  I 
seemed  as  certain  of  losing  my  clients,  as  they 
were  of  losing  their  money ;  so  I  put  a  grave 
face  on  the  matter,  and  continued, 

"  It  does  not  cost  much  to  file  a  bill  in  Chan- 
cery, and  compel  an  answer." 

"You'll  not  make  me  believe  that,  Sir,  very 
easily;  there's  my  poor  brother's  orphans  have 
been  in  Chancery  these  twelve  years,  poor 
things !    and  all  their   little  fortune  as  safely 


102  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

under,  lock  and  key-.iu.  if  buried  in  their  father's 
gra^e.'"' 

.  "A.ad  i.  too  can-id  tell  a  dismal  story  like 
that,  couldn't  I,  Simkin?  Oh  dear  me,  I 
little  thought  how  this  unhappy  business 
would  end !  my  poor  dear  children !  we 
shall  all  get  into  Chancery,  I  see  that,  if  we 
don't  pay  the  money,  Simkin." 

"But  surely,  Mr.  Sharpe,  you  can  tell  us 
what  the  Chancery  will  cost,  as  you  say  it  is 
not  much  ?  " 

"  Oh,  dear  Mr.  Simian,  good  Mr.  Simkin, 

do  pay  the  money,  and  think  no  more  about  it? ;' 

"Nonsense,  Soft!    for  shame,  Soft!    do  act 

like  a  man !     "What  will  it  cost,  Mr.  Sharpe, 

this  Chancery  business  ?  " 

"  The  bill  would  be  very  short,  but  as  their 
answer   might    be   long,    and   you  would,    of 
course,  have  to  pay  their  costs  too,  it  may — " 
"Pay  their  costs  too !  " 

"What!  Messrs.  Snappit's  and  Smart's 
costs!  Then  I've  done  with  it,  Mr.  Sharpe; 
I've  done  with  it;  that's  flat:  I'll  run  all 
risks;    I'll   see  them  hanged  first!'" 

"Yes,  we'll  run  all  risks,  Mr.  Sharpe: 
thank'ye,   Simkin,  you   are    always  the  wisest 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  10:J 

man,  I  know.  Very  sorry  we  have  taken  up 
so  much  of  your  time.  Sir.  What  do  we 
owe  you,  Sir?  Pray  let's  go,  Simkin;  let's  go  at 
once.  You'll  send  in  your  little  bill,  Mr,  Sharpe, 
for  this  morning's   advice.     Good  day.  Sir." 

And  away  went  the  silly  pair,  eaeli  afraid 
lest  a  longer  stay  should  convince  the  other 
of  his  folly.  They  paid  the  demand  :  in  the 
course  of  the  year  they  settled  a  similar  claim 
for  nearly  two  hundred  more ;  and  in  the  year 
following  they  liquidated  divers  other  debts 
of  Mr.  Shycocke,  amounting  in  the  whole  to 
about  £1,500 ;  all  of  which  might  have  been 
saved  by  resolute  defiance  in  limine. 

This  same  moral  cowardice  displays  itself  in 
a  hundred  ways,  even  in  men  otherwise  clear- 
headed and  strong-minded:  a  paroxysm  of 
fear  at  the  mention  of  the  Court  of  Chancerv 
does  not  much  surprise  one.  That  unlucky 
tribunal  labors  under  so  much  obloquy  both 
merited  and  unmerited,  that  facilis  decensus 
Averni  is  retorted  on  you  by  every  client  to 
whom  you  speak  of  equity;  and  not  without 
reason.  I  once  came  into  a  suit  that  had 
survived  three  solicitors,  two  generations  of 
clients,    three   chancellors,    (Lord    Eldon    inter 


104  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

alios)  and  more  than  half  the  masters.  It 
fairly  promised  an  annuity  to  my  grandchil- 
dren; hut  like  a  conscientious  fool  as  I  was, 
T  compromised  it  in  the  second  year  of  my 
acquaintance  with  its  very  peculiar  merits,  and 
saved  £2,000  out  of  the  fire  for  somebody, 
though  many  a  year  passed  over  before  we 
could  discover  who  the  "  somebody "  was ! 
The  Court  of  Chancery,  however,  though  bad 
enough  in  all  conscience,  is  not  the  only  bug- 
bear that  frightens  clients. 

"  I  have  been  swindled,  Mr.  Sharpe,  out  of 
five  hundred  pounds !  "  exclaimed  my  friend 
Wyatt,  on  entering  my  office, 

"I  am  extremely  sorry  to  hear  it:  how  has 
it  happened  ?  " 

"The  old  story  —  a  friend  wanted  money  — 
not  convenient  to  lend  it  —  my  name  would  do 
—  gave  him  my  acceptance  —  proved  a  greater 
ass  than  myself — a  Jew  broker  has  discounted 
it  by  bolting." 

"A  bad  case,  certainly.  Have  you  any  clue 
to  the  rascal's  retreat  ? '  " 

"Don't  know — might  be  found  perhaps  — 
what  then  ?  Find  him  at  one  end  of  the 
world,  and  the  bill  at  the  other !  " 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  105 

"Come,  come,  you  jump  too  fast  and  too 
far.     What  date  is  the  bill  ?  " 

"  Six  months." 

"Well,  you  have  a  chance  yet;  your  credit 
is  good;  but  even  with  you,  a  bill  for  =£500 
at  six  months  will  wander  about  some  time 
before  it  finds  a  home.  When  did  it  hap- 
pen?" 

"Yesterday." 

"  Then  give  me  the  names,  and  I'll  find  the 
paper." 

"  Can't  get  it  back,  if  you  do 

"Not  without  paying  a  trifle 

"  How  will  you  manage  ? " 

"  Leave  that  to  me." 

He  was  content  to  do  so,  and  furnished  me 

with  all  particulars.     I  happened  at  that  time 

to  have  a  friend  in  the  Bench.     Friends  of  this 

sort  are  a  great  nuisance ;    but  there  are  times 

when  they  can  do  good  service.     I  soon  learned 

through  him,  the   names  of  the  whole   gang 

with  which   the  broker  was    connected ;     and 

was  not  long  in  discovering  the  holder  of  the 

bill  —  an  innocent,  bona  fide  holder,  of  course. 

A  negotiation  was  commenced,  but  £200  was 

the    least    he   would   take,    and    exactly   four 
5* 


106  ADVENTURES    OP   AN    ATTORNEY 

times  more  than  I  was  disposed  to  give.  My 
client  called  on  me  the  following  morning. 

"  So,  Sharpe,  you  have  found  the  bill  ? " 

"  Yes,  for  £200." 

"Pay  it  with  all  my  heart." 

"  You  shall  do  no  such  thing." 

"  Can't  help  myself — must  pay — no  choice." 

"You  must  show  fight." 

"Show  fiddlesticks  —  neither  fight  nor  law 
for  me  —  rather  lose  the  <£500,  and  £500  to  the 
tail  of  that !  " 

"  You  called  yourself  a'-  ass  yesterday;  you'll 
prove  yourself  the  prince  of  asses  to-day,  if 
you  pay  the  money." 

"What  can  I  do?" 

"  I  have  already  taken  out  ?  summons  for 
the  fellow  to  account  for  his  poL'sessuon  of  the 
bill." 

"  Summons !  — ■  magistrate  !  — Bow  Street !  — 
police  report !  —  Times  paper  !  —  explanations  ! 
—  advertisements!  No,  no,  no!  I'll  see  you 
and  the  bill  at  Old  Nick,  ere  I  run  this  gaunt- 
let: pa}r  the  money,  and  have  done  with  it. 
Here's  the  check!  "  {sitting  (Joan  to  write  it.) 

I  reasoned  and  expostulated,  but  in  vain.  I 
felt    the    question    of    credit   was    something, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  107 

though  he  was  not  in  trade;  but  two  hundred 
pounds  was  far  too  large  a  sacrifice  for  mere 
credit's  sake  with  him.  I  shook  his  resolu- 
tion for  a  minute,  by  setting  one  fear  against 
another. 

"What  will  Mrs.  \Vyatt  saj  to  such  folly?" 

"Yes — sure  enough — something  in  that;  but 
{after  a  pause)  she  shan't  know  it." 

""Why,  you  have  told  her  already,  haven't 
you?" 

"  Not  exactly — rather  afraid — least  said  soon- 
est mended  —  ought  to  tell  her  though  —  sure  to 
find  it  out — but  those  infernal  police  reports  — 
she'll  go  mad,  that's  certain  —  no  peace  for  a 
twelvemonth.     I'll  pay  the  money,  so  take  it." 

I  had  no  alternative;  but  I  resolved  to  do 
my  best.  I  summoned  the  man  in  defiance 
of  my  client;  and  had  he  had  courage  enough 
to  face  the  matter,  I  should  have  got  back  the 
bill  for  nothing,  or  at  least  have  impounded 
it  safely.  He  got  off  better  than  he  deserved, 
for  just  before  the  hour  of  attendance,  I  re- 
ceived an  anonymous  letter,  offering  to  return 
the  bill  for  a  hundred.  I  replied  that  I  would 
give  fifty;  and  at  the  police  -office  door,  the 
bill  was  put  into  one  hand,  while  I  gave  a 


108  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

£50  note  with  the  other!  My  hare -hearted 
client  was  a  liberal  one,  however,  though  odd- 
tempered  :  lie  pressed  on  me  a  fee  of  the  same 
amount,  and  because  I  peremptorily  declined 
it,  quarrelled  with  me  for  a  year !  I  cared 
little  for  this,  knowing  that  his  good  sense 
would  eventually  bring  him  round ;  as  it  did  ; 
when  he  honestly  told  me  that  he  had  taken 
the  next  dilemma  in  which  he  found  himself, 
to  our  mutual  friend,  Mr.  Lowestoff,  because 
I  was  "too  proud  to  be  paid  for  my  trouble !  " 
Some  men  show  their  timidity  in  a  far  more 
reprehensible  form,  and  instead  of  honestly 
trusting  the  attorney  whom  they  affect  to  con- 
sult, are  laying  traps  for  him,  to  measure  his 
skill  or  his  integrity.  I  was  often  exposed  to 
this  low-minded  cunning  in  my  earlier  days, 
though  now  that  T  feel  "firmly  seated  in  my 
chair  of  state,  I  should  be  sorely  tempted  to 
kick  such  fellows  out  of  my  office.  On  the 
whole,  I  incline  to  recommend  this  as  the  wisest 
course  to  pursue  at  all  times,  however  scantily 
filled  our  attendance -books  may  be.  A  trader 
in  a  very'  extensive  business  called  on  me  on  one 
occasion,  telling  me  that  he  wished  me  to  pre- 
pare a  new  agreement  with  one  of  his  commis- 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  100 

sion  -  travelers,  and  he  produced  the  old  one,  as 
my  instructions.  He  was  not  an  habitual  client, 
but  one  of  those  sneaking  fellows  that  if  they 
meet  you  by  accident,  always  have  a  legal  point 
on  which  to  catechize  you,  without  the  fear  of 
fees  before  their  eyes.  They  pin  you  up  in  the 
corner  of  a  drawing-room,  or  edge  in  their  chair 
next  to  yours  at  the  dinner  -  table,  to  tell  a  long 
cock-and-bull  story  about  a  stray  parcel;  or 
sometimes  they  cross  you  in  the  street,  seize  you 
by  the  button,  and  incarcerate  you  in  the  door- 
way of  a  pastry-cook,  till  they  have  run 
through  the  pedigree  of  their  great  grand- 
mothers, as  preliminary  to  a  "just  tell  me  what 
you  think  "  of  their  right  to  a  lapsed  legacy  of 
fifty  pounds,  "  supposed  to  have  been  left  by 
the  fourth  cousin  of  an  uncle's  aunt,  who  died  six 
months  ago."     My  client  belonged  to  this  class. 

"  If  you  see  no  objection  to  this  agreement, 
Mr.  Sharpe,  I  want  a  new  one  on  the  same 
model;  as  you  see  the  time  here  mentioned  is 
expired." 

"I  see  no  objection  to  it  (hastily  glancing  it 
over) :  it  is  somewhat  vaguely  expressed,  but  if 
you  have  understood  each  other  so  long,  it  is 
best  not  to  alter  it." 


110  ADVENTURES    OE   AH   ATTORNEY 

"  It's  all  right  then,  in  point  of  law  ? " 

"Yes:  except  that  it  is  unstamped;  but  that 
is  of  little  consequence :  when  do  you  want  the 
new  draft  ?  Before  I  prepare  it,  it  would  be 
better  to  see  your  traveller  on  the  subject." 

"Oh,  he  is  out  of  towm,  and  I  am  in  no 
hurry !  If  you  will  just  sign  your  name  to 
this  old  agreement,  as  being  free  from  any  legal 
objection,  that  wTill  satisfy  him,  and  save 
trouble." 

I  thought  the  request  an  odd  one;  but  hav- 
ing had  frequent  experienee  of  the  paltry  econ- 
omy of  the  man,  I  concluded  that  his  only 
object  was  to  save  expense,  by  inducing  his 
traveller  to  abide  by  my  opinion,  without  the 
formal  discussion  and  settling  of  a  new  instru- 
ment. I  therefore  wrote  on  the  agreement  a 
sort  of  certificate,  that  I  saw  no  legal  objection 
to  the  agreement,  and  he  took  it  away  w*ith 
him.  The  next  day  explained  the  whole  trans- 
action. Two  attorneys  called  on  me,  nearly  at 
the  same  time.  We  were  all  well  acquainted. 
Mr.  Stubbs  entered  first. 

"  On  my  word,  Sharpe,  1  am  much  obliged 
to  you." 

"What's  the  matter?" 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  Ill 

"For  telling  Mr.  Crewknian  that  I  am  a  con- 
summate fool." 

"  Telling  him  you  are  a  fool !  I  told  him  no 
such  thing :  what  have  you  to  do  with  Crewk- 
man ? "  and  before  the  question  could  be  an- 
swered, in  rushed  Mr.  Hobbs. 

"  Sharpe,  I've  a  crow  to  pick  with  you ! 
Stubbs,  glad  you  are  here;  I  am  sure  you'll 
not  countenance  such  dirty  practice !  " 

"Hoity-toity,  my  good  friends!  what  ails 
you  both  ? " 

"You  are  a  pretty  fellow  to  ask,  after  trying 
to  cheat  my  poor  client  out  of  his  cause  and  his 
senses  also ! " 

"  What,  is  Crewkman  your  client,  too  ?  " 

"My  client!  no  indeed:  nor  did  I  dream 
that  he  was  yours,  till  yesterday." 

"  Then  he  is  your  client,  Sharpe  ? "  said 
Stubbs.  ""Well,  I  am  ready  enough  to  hand 
over  his  papers,  as  soon  as  you  get  the  order: 
but  I  must  say  it  is  shabby  work  to  rob  one  of 
his  clients  by  such  low  artifice  as  this." 

I  was  all  amazement.  "  Let  us  talk  without 
prejudice,  gentlemen,  and  we  shall  understand 
each  other :  at  present,  it  is  clear  we  are  all  in 
the  dark." 


112  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

The  certificate  signed  by  me,  the  day  before, 
was  produced  by  Stubbs.  I  admitted  it  to  be 
mine,  and  explained  the  circumstances  under 
which  I  gave  it.  It  seems  that  Crewkman  and 
his  traveller  were  involved  in  litigation,  on  this 
very  agreement :  the  one  contended  that  it 
amounted  to  a  partnership,  and  claimed  an 
account  of  profits :  Crewkman  denied  the  part- 
nership. Stubbs  had  advised  him  that  he 
was  wrong,  and  recommended  a  compromise. 
Distrusting  Stubbs,  he  had  come  to  ask  my 
opinion,  without  ever  calling  my  attention  to 
the  real  point  at  issue.  He  took  the  opinion  to 
Stubbs  to  challenge  him  with  ignorance ;  and 
then  to  his  traveller,  to  impress  on  him  the 
hopelessness  of  his  suit,  and  work  him  into  a 
compromise.  I  do  not  now  recollect  how  the 
matter  terminated. 

I  have  often  known  this  underhanded  dealing 
practiced  by  men  who  think  themselves  wiser 
than  their  solicitors;  and  in  most  cases,  they 
bring  their  own  punishment,  in  getting  con- 
flicting advice,  by  submitting  one  state  of  facts 
to  one  attorney,  and  another  to  another;  un- 
conscious themselves  of  the  importance  of 
minute  accuracy,  they  report  these  contradic- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  113 

tory  opinions  to  their  friends,  as  edifying  illus- 
trations of  the  "  glorious  uncertainty  of  the 
law!"  There  is,  however,  another  less  frequent, 
but  more  galling  way  of  testing  their  adviser's 
judgment;  more  galling,  because  it  implies  a 
doubt  of  his  honesty  of  purpose.  I  have  had 
a  client  consulting  me  very  gravely  on  his  case, 
and  after  I  had  given  it  the  closest  attention, 
and  reluctantly  told  him  that  I  thought  him 
wrong,  he  has  fairly  turned  on  me,  with  the 
laughing  avowal  that  he  had  deceived  me,  and 
reversed  his  position,  being  the  intended  plain- 
tiff, and  not  defendant,  in  the  matter ;  that  he 
wanted  to  be  sure  that  he  was  right,  and  had 
therefore  misrepresented  his  position  in  the 
dispute  !  A  cautious  man  will  not  always,  nor 
often  suspect,  but  he  will  always  be  prepared 
againts  traps  laid  for  him  by  his  own  client. 

The  mention  of  this  habit  of  appealing  from 
one  solicitor  to  another,  without  fairly  appris- 
ing either  party  of  the  fact,  recalls  to  my  mind 
an  affair  of  earlier  days  that  may  teach  my  read- 
ers to  avoid,  as  much  as  possible,  another  class 
of  clients  whom  I  shall  designate  as  the  indis- 
creet. In  a  certain  sense,  all  clients  except 
those  who  come  to  you  on  "  preventive  duty," 


114  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

to  be  protected  against  anticipated  risk,  are 
indiscreet;  and  it  is  to  repair  their  indiscre- 
tion, that  your  aid  is  wanted :  but  there  are 
some  instances,  in  which  it  is  difficult  for  an 
attorney,  at  least  a  very  young  one,  to  avoid 
involving  himself  in  the  folly  of  his  client;  any 
man,  however,  might  innocently  have  got  into 
the  following  scrape,  whether  professional  or 
not. 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  115 


CHAPTER  IX. 

"Quomodo  ergo  id  quod  fit  creco  casu  et  volubilitate  fortunae 
prsesentiri  potest  V"  —  Cic.  de  Pi  v. 

While  my  thoughts  were  yet  but  little  occu- 
pied with  the  cares  of  business  (and  alas  !  I  was 
full  thirty  ere  business  had  much  to  do  with 
them),  I  used  to  ramble  about  at  parties  aud 
soirees,  in  the  certainty  of  finding  amusement, 
if  I  did  not  find  clients.  On  one  of  these  oc- 
casions, I  fell  into  company  with  a  very  agree- 
able lady  of  four -and -twenty.  I  knew  that 
she  was  engaged,  and  shortly  to  be  married  : 
hence  love  had  nothing  to  do  with  it;  but  I 
played  the  agreeable  so  delightfully,  that  the 
fair  creature,  knowing  I  was  a  "  lawyer,"  as 
they  are  all  pleased  to  call  us,  told  me  she 
wanted  to  consult  me  about  her  affairs.  It  is 
of  little  use  preaching  about  it :  I  am  going  to 
read  a  very  instructive  lesson;    and  yet  I  am 


116  ADVENTURES    OE    AN    ATTORNEY 

quite  certain  that  there  is  not  one  of  my  readers 
to  be  found,  under  seven  or  eight -and -twenty, 
who  will  not  as  assuredly  as  I  did,  fall  into  the 
same  error,  if  he  has  the  opportunity.  She 
declared  that  she  was  serious  ;  it  is  quite  im- 
possible to  advise  while  one  is  waltzing — the 
head  is  too  giddy,  to  say  nothing  of  other  en- 
chantments ;  so  I  invited  her  to  call  on  me  the 
following  day.  She  came,  chaperoned  by  the 
lady  at  whose  house  she  was  staying,  and  who 
was  as  young  and  yet  prettier  than  herself.  I 
must  give  her  name  a  nom  de  guerre,  and  I  will 
rail  her  Mrs.  Chartres.  My  fair  client's  object 
was  bona  fide  to  ask  me  her  own  position  in 
respect  of  some  proceedings  in  an  amicable  suit, 
in  which  all  her  family  were  involved,  but 
which  as  they  supposed,  was  conducted  by  the 
family  solicitor  with  somewhat  less  activity 
than  was  desirable.  I  think  she  called  on  me 
twice  after  this.  It  is  very  many  years  ago, 
and  I  cannot  exactly  remember  how  many 
times  we  met;  but  it  was  sufficiently  often  to 
make  me  familiar  with  the  nature  and  position 
of  her  property.  About  six  weeks  after  our 
first  interview,  I  received  a  very  singular  note 
from  her.      She  resided  ten  miles  from  town, 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  117 

and  she  wrote  to  request  that  I  would  ride  over 
to  see  her  the  following  day  at  three  o'clock,  to 
advise  her  on  urgent  business.  There  was  so  far 
nothing  extraordinary ;  but  the  note  concluded 
with  saying,  that  her  mother's  house  was  so 
full  of  friends,  that  she  could  not  hope  to  talk 
with  me  there,  with  any  convenience,  but  she 
would  call  on  me  at  the  inn  in  the  town !  I 
hesitated  long  before  I  could  decide  on  the 
proper  course  to  take ;  but  as  the  word  "  urgent " 
was  twice  underlined,  it  seemed  cruel  to  refuse ; 
and  notwithstanding  she  had  imposed  confi- 
dence on  me,  I  determined  to  call  en  our 
mutual  friend,  Mrs.  Chartres,  and  consult  her. 
I  showed  her  the  letter.  "  You  need  not  enter- 
tain any  doubt  on  the  case,"  said  Mrs.  Char- 
tres :  "  I  know  that  her  lover  has  had  a  quarrel 
with  the  mother,  and  the  marriage  has  been 
put  off;  she  wants  you  to  be  the  mediator." 
"Very  well;  but  I  think  her  lover  would 
scarcely  like  this  stolen  interview  at  an  inn, 
nevertheless;  will  you  go  with  me?"  ""With 
all  my  heart ;  "  and  we  ordered  our  horses :  both 
her  horses  and  mine  were  at  livery  at  the  same 
stables.  "  "We  have  a  few  friends  to  dine  with 
us  at  five;  will  you  join  us  at  dinner?"     I 


118  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

accepted  her  invitation.  Thinking  it  might 
occasion  some  tattling  below  stairs,  at  our 
friend's  expense,  Mrs.  Chartres  would  not  take 
her  groom,  though  he  had  always  attended  us 
in  our  rides,  which  were  not  unfrequent.  When 
we  arrived  at  the  inn  at  *  *  *  *  *,  the  young- 
lady  was  not  there.  We  waited  nearly  an  hour ; 
and  began  to  feel  uneasy,  when  the  damsel 
appeared. 

"  Bless  me,  Sophia  !  what  a  figure  you  have 
made  of  yourself!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Chartres. 
"  One  would  think  you  had  got  all  your  ward- 
robe on  your  back !  " 

"  So  I  have,  except  a  trunk  that  I  have  had 
smuggled  here !  " 

"  What  is  it  all  about !  where  are  you  going ! " 

"  I  am  going  off!  " 

"Where?  when?" 

"  To  Yorkshire  —  to  -  night !  " 

"  Not  with  me,  I  presume,  Miss  Dan  vers  ?  " 
I  asked,  half  laughing,  but  really  uneasy. 

"  No,  Mr.  Sharpe;  not  all  the  way;  but  I  do 
want  you  to  put  me  in  the  mail." 

"  And  why  did  not  Mr.  Douglas  meet  you 
himself?" 

"  Because  he  is  watched  at  every  step." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  119 

"Was  this  then,  the  'urgent'  affair  you 
wanted  me  to  advise  in  ?  " 

"  iSTot  altogether ;  Mr.  Douglas  wished  you 
to  prepare  something  for  me  in  the  way  of 
settlement,  to  take  with  me,  for  we  shall  be 
married  the  day  after  to-morrow." 

"  Your  mother  of  course  knows  nothing  of 
this  frolic.  I  hope  you  have  left  a  letter  for 
her?" 

"No,  I  have  not;  she  wTent  yesterday  to  my 
aunt's,  at  Croydon." 

Both  Mrs.  Chartres  and  I  exerted  all  our 
powers  to  divert  her  from  her  purpose,  but  in 
vain :  she  had  ordered  a  chaise,  and  it  was  at 
the  door;  we  continued  arguing  with  her  for 
about  an  hour,  and  the  most  we  could  obtain 
from  her  was  to  leave  a  letter  for  her  mother, 
which  nearly  another  hour  was  spent  in  pre- 
paring .  the  next  point  was,  whether  it  was 
right  to  accompany  her  to  the  coach  !  It  was 
already  six  o'clock,  and  the  spring  not  far  ad- 
vanced; consequently  it  was  growing  dark, 
and  would  be  quite  so  by  the  time  she  reached 
London.  I  could  not  allow  Mrs.  Chartres  to 
ride  home,  a  distance  of  ten  miles,  unattended; 
but  the  good-natured  girl  put  an  end  to  the 


120  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

difficulty,  by  saying  she  would  accompany  us 
in  the  chaise.  I  therefore  sent  our  horses  back 
to  their  stables  by  the  ostler  of  the  inn,  with  a 
verbal  message,  which  the  blockhead  forgot. 
We  arrived  just  in  time  to  secure  the  only  re- 
maining place  inside  the  York  mail,  and  giving 
Miss  Danvers  a  few  hurried  lines  to  Mr.  Doug- 
las, to  suggest  the  sort  of  pronuptial  agreement 
it  would  be  right  to  make,  we  took  our  leave 
of  her.  Some  accidents  impeded  their  marriage 
for  a  short  time,  but  it  soon  took  place,  and  I 
believe  it  proved  a  happy  one. 

Now,  however,  came  the  fun  of  the  affair. 
So  intent  had  both  of  us  been  on  the  discussion 
with  Miss  Danvers,  and  so  absorbed  by  the 
interest  we  felt  in  her  strange  position,  that 
Mrs.  Chartres  and  I  had   alike   forgotton  the 
dinner,  the  party,  the  time,  and  every  thing 
else.     Meanwhile  a  curious  scene  was  acting  in 
Bryanstone  Square.     Four  o'clock  came. 
"  Where  is  your  mistress,  Anne?  " 
"  She  is  gone  out  for  a  ride,  Sir." 
"  When  did  she  say  she  would  return  ?  " 
"  She  only  told  me  in  good  time  to  dress, 
Sir." 

"  "Who  was  with  her  ?  " 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  121 

"  Mr.  Sharpe,  Sir." 

Half- past  four! 

"  Is  Mrs.  Chartres  eome  home?  " 

"No,  Sir." 

"Very  careless  !  did  John  go  with  her? "  ' 

"No,  Sir." 

"  Very  strange!" 

Five  o'clock,  and  no  Mrs.  Chartres !  Half- 
past  five!  There  were  Mrs.  Langston,  and 
Miss  Langston,  and  Mr.  Henderson,  and  the 
two  Miss  Dixons,  and  the  Rev.  Doctor,  and 
half-a-dozen  besides;  all  simpering  and  all 
wondering,  and  all  divided  between  curiosity 
and  hunger,  with  sundry  good-natured  sug- 
gestions, and  explanations,  and  sympathizing 
consolations;  some  would  wait  half- an -hour 
longer,  and  some  would  order  up  dinner;  for 
"dear  Mrs.  Chartres  would  be  so  distressed;" 
while  the  poor  husband  smiled  and  giggled 
it  off;  and  Mr.  Chetwyn,  her  father,  who 
began  to  suspect  it  was  no  jest  at  all,  "didn't 
likt  such  jesting,  and  rambling  about  after 
dark  ;  and  dinner  spoilt  while  that  brainless 
young  Sharpe  was  leading  his  daughter  scamp- 
ering about  the  country,  etc.,  etc.  :   if  I  were 

you,  Tom,  I  would  lock  her  up  whenever  that 
6 


122  ADVENTURES    OE    AN    ATTORNEY 

scape-grace  turned  his  horse's  head  this  way." 
This  was  giving  so  pointed  a  turn  to  the  affair, 
that  by  way  of  closing  the  discussion  Chartres 
ordered  up  the  dinner,  and  handed  down  the 
ladies;  but  matters  began  to  be  uncomfortable, 
and  Chartres  soon  made  them  worse  by  sud- 
denly exclaiming,  as  the  clock  struck  seven : 

"I  see  how  it  is!  they  have  had  an  acci- 
dent :  and  running  to  the  bell,  ordered  John 
to  go  instantly  to  the  stables  and  inquire  if 
the  horses  had  been  sent  home,  while  the  other 
servant  brought  a  chaise  to  the  door  to  be 
promptly  ready  to  go  in  search  of  the  sufferers. 

"  It  must  be  so !  dear  Mr.  Chartres,  now 
don't  distress  yourself,  pray  don't." 

"  That  we  should  never  have  thought  of  this 
sooner ! " 

"Poor  dear  Mrs.  Chartres,  what  she  must 
suffer !  " 

"  "Well,  I  hope  she  has  not  broken  her  leg ! " 

"ISTow  be  composed,  Mr.  Chartres,  all  will 
be  well!" 

"  Had  you  not  better  send  for  Mr.  Brodie, 
immediately?" 

And  half  a  hundred  similar  speeches  were 
simultaneously  poured  forth  by  all  their  sweet 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  123 

voices  united;  Chartres  striding  from  his  chair 
to  the  window,  and  back  to  his  chair,  and 
Chetwyn  sitting  silent,  till  he  groaned  out, 
"  That's  the  only  word  of  sense  that's  said  : 
send  for  Brodie,  directly."  In  the  midst  of 
the  hubbub  re-entered  John. 

"  Are  the  horses  come  back?'''  thundered  out 
Chartres. 

"Yes,  Sir." 

"Oh  la!  and  is  she  killed?  where  is  she 
hurt?  get  her  bed  ready,  and  call  Anne,"  etc., 
etc.,  etc.,  while  John  stood  mute,  but  with  a 
sort  of  half  -  repressed  grin  on  his  face,  that 
at  once  dispelled  immediate  alarm  about  her 
safety. 

"Are  the  horses  hurt  ?"   asked  Chartres. 

"No,  Sir." 

"  Who  brought  them  ? " 

"The  ostler  at     ******." 

"Any  message  ?" 

"No,  Sir." 

"Did  you  ask  the  man  ?" 

"Yes,  Sir.' 

"Don't  stand  twisting  your  mouth  that  way, 
blockhead,  with  your  'yes'  and  'no  ! '  Tell  us 
what  passed." 


124  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  The  man  said,  Sir,  as  how  mistress  and 
Mr.  Sharpe — "  (pausing.) 

"Speak  out,  Sir;"  shouted  Chartres. 

"  Gone  off,  Sir,  in  a  Dartford  chaise." 

"Impossible  !"  groaned  Chetwyn. 

"  Oh  la  ! "  "  oh  dear  !  ''  "  how  shocking !  " 
"how  very  odd!"  "how  sad  an  event!" 
screamed  Miss  Langston,  and  Mrs.  Langston, 
and  the  two  Miss  Dixons,  in  every  variety  of 
intonation. 

"  Awfully  wicked  !  "  observed  the  Rev.  Doc- 
tor, deliberately  exhausting  a  glass  of  port. 

"  Order  four  horses  to  the  chaise  at  the  door! 
Henderson,  you'll  accompany  me  —  Dover 
Road!  do  you  hear  there?"  and  so  saying 
Chartres  left  the  room ;  mounted  the  flight  of 
stairs  in  a  hop,  step,  and  jump  ;  hurried  on  a 
great  coat;  and  was  equipped  for  Calais  in  less 
than  ten  minutes.  Meanwhile  the  ladies  hysteri- 
cised,  and  fainted,  and  ran  this  way  and  the 
other  way,  as  ladies  will  do  on  such  occasions ; 
and  the  ladies'  maids  chattered,  and  comforted, 
and  cloaked  as  fast  as  they  could ;  while  harts- 
horn, and  sal  volatile,  and  burnt  feathers,  were 
poured  and  scattered  here  and  there,  and  the 
whole  house  one  Babel  of  confusion ;  not  one 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  125 

of  the  party  dreaming  of  going,  in  spite  of 
preparation  for  it,  while  a  chance  remained 
of  gleaning  more  food  for  curiosity  and  scan- 
dal. 

The  hubbub  had  scarcely  at  all  subsided,  when 
a  loud  rap  at  the  door  announced  a  visitor. 
"Not  at  home!"  exclaimed  Mr.  Chetwyn,  to 
prevent  intrusion  at  such  an  unseasonable  hour  : 
but  the  mandate  was  unheeded  in  the  general 
confusion  below  stairs.  The  ladies  hearing 
footsteps  ascending  resumed  their  chairs,  with 
as  much  calmness  as  they  could  muster.  The 
door  opened;  and  in  walked  Mrs.  Chartres, 
more  radiant  with  smiles  than  ever,  though  not 
a  little  surprised  at  the  strange  chaos  which 
seemed  to  reign  ;  while  I  followed  close  behind 
her,  as  cheerful  and  composed  as  if  nothing  had 
occurred  to  disturb  me. 

"  Very  extraordinary,  Mrs.  Chartres !  very 
strange  conduct  this,  Mr.  Sharpe !  "  said  her 
husband  sternly. 

"  Where  the  devil  have  you  been  ?  "  cried  her 
father. 

"  Dear  Mrs.  Chartres !  "  exclaimed  all  the 
ladies  at  once. 

"  Chartres,"    I  said,    "  your  wife   is   tired : 


126  ADVENTURES    OF    AN   ATTORNEY 

take  her  up  stairs,  and  she'll  give  you  a  good 
hour's  laugh  :  "  for  though  this  denouement  had 
never  once  occurred  to  either  of  us  during  the 
whole  of  the  busy  scene  in  which  we  had  been 
engaged,  I  saw,  by  a  glance  of  the  eye,  what  it 
all  meant. 

"And  now,  Mr.  Chetwyn,  order  us  some 
dinner  if  you  please;  for  we  have  not  tasted 
any  to-day." 

Manifold  indeed  were  the  inquiries,  and 
ardent  the  curiosity  —  all  unbonneted  and  un- 
shawled  again,  but  we  could  not  gratify  them  : 
though  when  Chartres  re-entered  the  room  ten 
minutes  after,  and  shook  me  by  the  hand  most 
cordially,  laughing  all  the  time,  and  loudly 
commending  my  chivalry,  the  fair  creatures 
almost  forgot  their  disappointment  that  there 
was  no  elopement  after  all,  in  their  unfeigned 
delight  at  the  returning  spirit  of  domestic 
harmony  and  love. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  127 


CHAPTER   X. 

"  Junonem  interea  compellat  Jupiter  ultro."  —  .32n.  X. 

Indiscretion  is  a  failing  not  limited  to  youth 
or  sex;  nor  is  it  by  any  means  identified  with 
careless  indifference  ahout  every -day  matters  of 
pounds,  shillings,  and  pence.  Mr.  Buinby  was 
an  early  client  of  mine,  for  whom  I  felt  consid- 
erable regard.  Accident  led  me  one  day  to  his 
shop  to  purchase  some  trifling  article  of  jewel- 
ery.  I  have  a  natural  disposition  to  indulge  in 
good-humored  gossip  with  strangers,  where 
circumstances  pave  the  way  ;  and  occasional 
purchases,  accompanied  with  friendly  chit-chat 
across  the  counter,  laid  the  foundation  for  a 
professional  connexion  between  us,  of  no  very 
important  extent,  yet  profitable  to  me  and  satis- 
factory to  him.  Shortly  after  I  became  ac- 
quainted with  him,  Mr.  Bumby   retired  from 


128  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

business,  having  scraped  together  a  sum  of 
twelve  thousand  pounds,  which  he  considered 
amply  sufficient  provision  for  the  evening  of 
life,  having  no  family  but  his  wife  and  a 
married  daughter  comparatively  independent  of 
him.  This  daughter  however,  had  two  chil- 
dren ;  and  her  husband  was  somewhat  specu- 
lative and  scheming  in  business.  Bumby  was 
a  blunt,  honest  fellow,  turned  of  seventy,  and 
on  the  whole,  acute  as  well  as  sensible.  His 
wife  was  full  twent}T  years  his  junior,  good- 
looking  for  forty-eight,  and,  I  believe,  sincerely 
attached  to  him  ;  yet  her  attachment  was  by 
no  means  of  that  high  caste  that  contemplated 
self-immolation  on  his  tomb:  she  obviously 
reckoned  on  a  long  survivorship.  One  of  the 
first  duties  that  Bumby  proposed  to  discharge 
on  relinquishing  trade,  was  to  make  his  will ; 
and  he  called  on  me  with  his  wife  to  give  the 
usual  instructions. 

"You  see,  Sharpe,  I've  nothing  else  to  do; 
so  I  may  as  well  set  my  house  in  order." 

"  Well,  Mr.  Bumby,  that's  a  good  'un  !  as 
if  1  hadn't  always  kept  it  tidy  as  ueed  be, 
though  I  say  it  that  shouldn't  say  it !  House 
in   order,  truly  !    it's  never  been  out  of  order 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  12!) 

these  three -and -twenty  years  —  shop,  counter, 
master,  and  all !  " 

"  Mind  your  own  business,  Betty,  and  don't 
speak  till  you  are  asked.  I  can  talk  to  Mr. 
Sharpe  without  your  help.  I  want  to  make 
my  will,  Sharpe." 

"  There  now,  Bumby,  that's  coming  to  the 
point !  we  want  to  make  the  will,  Mr.  Sharpe." 

"I  shall  be  happy  to  attend  to  your  instruc- 
tions, Sir :  I  believe  I  know  generally  what 
your  property  is  ?  " 

"Let's  see.  there's  the  consols,  .£7850,  and 
the  reduced,  X2300,  and  the  India  bonds,  and 
the—" 

"  Don't  forget  the  policy,  Bumby !  you 
remember  the  policy  ?  " 

"Deuce  take  the  policy  and  you  too!  you 
are  always  harping  about  the  policy.  I  believe 
you'd  see  me  hanged  to-morrow  to  get  hold  of 
that  eternal  policy." 

"You  needn't  snub  me  that  way,  Bumby," 
whimpered  his  loving  wife. 

"Well,  Sir;"  interposing,   as  I  always   do 

to  escape  a  scene,   "there  are  the  India  bond s 

and  the  policy." 

"And    the    shop    and    dwelling-house     in 
6* 


130  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

Crooked  lane,"  added  Mrs.  Bumby,  but  in  a 
tone  somewhat  subdued,  though  still  sharp  and 
prompt. 

" What's  that  to  you,  Betty?  I  shall  do  as 
I  please  with  the  shop  and  dwelling-house  in 
Crooked  lane." 

"  To  be  sure,  Bumby,  no  doubt :  but  you 
always  said  that  Crooked  lane  would  do  for 
me,  you  know." 

u  I  presume  no  part  of  the  property  is  in 
settlement  ?  " 

"  The  more  the  pity ! "  softly  ejaculated 
Betty. 

"  Say  another  word,"  rejoined  Bumby 
angrily,  "  I'll  make  no  will  at  all ! " 

"And  how  would  the  policy  go  then,  Mr. 
Sharpe?"  retorted  his  wife. 

"  Before  I  had  time  to  answer,  Bumby  took 
out  his  pocket-book,  and  slowly  fixing  his 
spectacles,  read  from  it  his  instructions,  to  the 
effect  that  his  widow  was  to  enjoy  the  interest 
of  the  whole  for  her  life,  and  then  it  was  to 
go  to  their  daughter. 

"  But  here's  where  it  is,  Sharpe ;  Betty  and 
I,  you  see,  can't  agree  about  the  way  to  give 
it  to  our  girl.;    that  wild  chap  her  husband, 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  131 

may  die  or  be  hanged,  and  then  the  fool  would 
marry  again,  and  her  children  starve  in  the 
workhouse;  so  I  should  like  to  tie  it  all  up 
for  them,  out  of  harm's  way:  but  Betty  is  for 
giving  it  her  outright !  " 

"  And  so  I  would,  Bumby ;  if  the  girl  don't 
marry  again,  she'll  do  worse." 

"Ay,  ay:  she  takes  sorely  after  her  mother." 

Mrs.  Bumby  knit  her  browsj  pursed  up  her 
mouth,  fanned  herself  with  her  pocket-hand- 
kerchief, and  pendulated  her  body  to  and  fro 
in  her  chair  with  that  awful  dignity,  which  in 
ladies  of  a  certain  age  and  considerable 
diameter,  argues  preparation  for  an  explosion 
of  no  ordinary  force.  I  hurried  to  the  rescue 
of  her  unlucky  spouse. 

"  I'll  take  a  note  of  your  instructions,  Mr. 
Bumby,  and — " 

"  You'll  please  to  hear  me  too,  I  hope,  Mr. 
Sharpe  ? " 

"  Certainly  Ma'am :  but  lest  I  should  for- 
get-" 

"  You'll  please  not  to  forget  the  policy,  Mr. 
Sharpe  ?  " 

"  He's  not  likely  while  you  are  by,  Betty." 

"I     was      speaking    to    Mr.     Sharpe,    Mr. 


132  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

Bumby !  I  suppose  I  may  do  that,  Mr.  Bumby : 
Though  Sally  do  take  after  me,  Sir,  I'm  glad 
she  takes  after  nobody  worse!  but  'tain't  ever}- 
child  as  knows  her  own  father,  Mr.  Sharpe ! 
no  wonder  Sail  don't !  Mr.  Bumby,  you're  a 
wicked  man,  you  are !  you  are  a  vile,  wicked, 
old  man !  you  don't  deserve  to  have  a  young 
woman  like  me  for  a  wife !  me,  who  has  been 
the  kindest,  fondest  wife  as  ever  loved  a  man 
old  enough  to  be  her  father!  you  wicked 
wretch  !  you  unkind,  cruel  monster !  "  and  she 
blubbered  outright. 

"  Well,  well,  Betty :  I  meant  no  harm ;  so 
say  no  more  about  it,"  cried  Bumby;  and 
ashamed  of  her,  and  more  than  half  ashamed  of 
himself  too,  he  bustled  up,  pinched  her  chin  by 
way  of  coaxing,  and  took  her  off,  telling  me  he 
would  call  again  in  a  day  or  two.  I  fancied 
that  there  was  something  more  in  this  little 
conjugal  quarrel  than  met  the  ear,  and  was 
rather  curious  to  get  at  the  bottom  of  it. 
Bumby's  visit  the  next  day  explained  it. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Sharpe ;  now  I  can  speak  com- 
fortably when  we're  alone,  you  know.  Betty's 
a  good  soul,  but  a  little  up  now  and  then,  like 
a  bottle  of  soda-water,  all  nutter,  splutter,  and 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  133 

fiz ;  but  does  one  good  after  a  glass  too  much  : 
so  let  her  have  the  policy,  Sharpe,  as  she's  set 
her  heart  on  it;  but  she  shan't  have  the  rest, 
except  on  my  terms.  You  understand,  Sharpe  ? 
"Twas  all  my  eye  about  Sally :  only  we  didn't 
like  to  tell  you.  The  girl  don't  want  the 
money  till  her  mother  dies  —  in  good  business 
—  only  two  children  —  can  do  well  enough 
without :  but  I  know  where  the  land  lies :  my 
young  woman  wants  to  marry  again  when  I'm 
gone,  Sharpe ;  and  I've  no  mind  she  should  : 
or  she'll  squander  it  all  away  while  you  wind 
up  a  watch.  So  tie  it  up  close  as  you  can ; 
and  when  she  dies,  let  her  do  what  she  will 
with  it." 

This  was  not  unreasonable  had  Mrs.  Buniby 
been  somewhat  younger,  but  I  suspected  it 
would  prove  very  unpalatable  to  her ;  and  as  it 
was  obviously  impossible  to  keep  the  intended 
testamentary  arrangements  from  her,  I  appre- 
hended it  might  lead  to  a  domestic  discussion, 
not  very  favorable  to  the  comfort  of  my  vener- 
able elient.  I  ventured  to  throw  out  a  hint  of 
this. 

"  I  think  I  know  my  own  mind  best,  Sharpe  ! 
all  you  have  to  do  is  to  put  it  in  black  and  white." 


184  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"It  is  far  from  my  wish  to  exceed  my  pro- 
vince, but  considering  Mrs.  Bumby's  advanced 
age,  a  second  marriage  seems  not  very  probable." 

"  She  is  a  young  woman,  Sharpe;  a  very 
young  woman,  and  'tis  as  much  as  I  can  do  to 
keep  her  quiet;  what  she  will  do  when  I  am 
gone,  Heaven  knows !  marry  you,  perhaps ! 
but  you  shan't  clutch  my  money  if  you  do." 

I  now  perceived  that  jealousy  was  at  the 
bottom  of  this  extreme  caution,  and  jealousy  is 
impracticable  at  any  age,  so  I  gave  way; 
merely  observing  that  I  felt  certain  that  his 
wife's  remarkable  fondness  for  him  ("  fondness  " 
is  the  only  appeasing  word  on  such  occasions,) 
precluded  all  idea  of  a  new  engagement.  This 
pleased  him,  and  he  left  me  in  good  humor. 
In  the  course  of  the  same  morning  his  wife 
repeated  her  visit. 

"  So  my  dear  Bumby  has  been  with  you 
again,  Mr.  Sharpe?" 

"  He  has,  Ma'am." 

"  And  what  more  has  he  told  you  ?" 

"You  are  to  have  the  policy !  " 

"  He  is  a  dear  good  man  when  left  to  himself 
—  and  about  Sally  ?  " 

"  He  is  quite  resolute  there." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  135 

"Then  I  am  to  be  tied  up  after  all!" 
(sharply.) 

"  You  have  committed  yourself,  Mrs.  Bumby, 
but  it  does  not  matter,  for  your  husband  has 
told  me  that  the  question  was  about  yourself, 
and  not  your  daughter." 

"  To  be  sure  it  is,  Sir,  and  a  very  important 
question  too !  a  woman  at  my  age  does  not 
like  to  be  treated  like  a  boarding-school  miss, 
who  would  spend  her  money  in  sugar  plums." 

"  At  your  age,  Mrs.  Bumby !  why  you  are 
young  enough  to  marry  again,  and  have  a 
family  to  bring  up !  " 

"  La !  Mr.  Sharpe,  (simpering,)  how  can  you 
say  so?  I  declare  I  never  dreamt  of  such  a 
thing :  but  if  you  really  think  so,  and  I  have 
been  taken  for  Sally  'tis  true,  no  wonder  you 
agree  with  Bumby  about  the  will." 

"  Indeed  I  rather  opposed  him  till  I  saw  that 
he  suspected  me  of  a  lurking  interest  in  the 
matter." 

"  That  can  hardly  be,  Sir,  (bridling  up  a 
little,  but  still  simpering  sweetly,)  it  is  time 
enough  indeed,  to  talk  of  such  things !  but 
good  morning,  Mr.  Sharpe;  I  must  have  a 
little  more  explanation  with  Bumby  !  " 


186  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

The  next  day  I  paid  the  penalty  of  my  folly  : 
they  had  their  explanation  truly,  and  arrived  at 
a  very  good  understanding  by  throwing  all  the 
blame  on  me !  They  again  called  together. 
Mr.  Bumby  had  mounted  my  stairs  with  all 
the  vigor  and  speed  of  a  man  determined  to 
find  immediate  vent  for  indomitable  wrath : 
he  was  corpulent,  short- legged,  and  a  little 
asthmatic,  so  that  the  unwonted  exertion, 
coupled  with  much  excitement,  brought  on  by 
the  said  explanation,  almost  deprived  him  of 
the  power  of  utterance,  by  the  time  he  had 
opened  my  office -door. 

"  I'm  come,  Sharpe,  to  tell  you  that"  —  (ugh! 
ugh  !  ugh  !  tearing  his  great  coat  hastily  asun- 
der,) "to  tell  you,  Sir,"  —  (ugh!  ugh!  —  the 
cough  was  redoubled,  and  Mrs.  Bumby,  who 
had  seated  herself  with  the  dignified  pendula- 
tion  I  have  before  described,  untied  and  finally 
removed  his  neckcloth)  "  to  tell  you  to  your 
impudent  face  "  —  (ugh!  ugh!  ugh!  He  could 
not  get  on,  and  I  rose  to  offer  him  a  glass  of 
water,  but  he  motioned  it  away  with  his  hand 
so  abruptly,  that  all  the  contents  of  the  glas.J 
were  spilt  on  that  abdominal  projection  in 
which  most  men  exult  after  passing  their  grand 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PBACTICE.  137 

climacteric,  which  his  tender  wife,  in  her  anxi- 
ety to  procure  fair  play  for  his  depressed 
diaphragm,  had  exposed  to  view  in  all  its 
natural  rotundity,  hy  unbuttoning  not  only 
his  vest,  but  the  waist -band  of  the  lower  habili- 
ments !  I  can't  guess,  indeed,  how  far  her 
tenderness  might  have  carried  her,  had  not  the 
sudden  ablution  operated  like  a  charm,  and 
instantly  restored  the  faculty  of  speech  in  all 
its  eloquence. 

"  Confound  the  jade !  would  ye  drown  me 
before  I  have  made  my  will,  Betty  ?" 

"No,  dear  Bumby,  nor  after  either;  but  you 
were  choking:  be  composed,  Bumby  !  " 

"Now,  then,  Mr.  Bumby,  what  is  your  com- 
plaint of  me  ?  " 

"  Complaint  !  what  right  have  you  to  make 
love  to  my  wife  before  she  is  a  widow  ?  and  she 
won't  have  you  then,  I  can  tell  you,  Sir." 

"Not  so  old,  neither,  Sir,"  added  the  lady, 
"though  you  were  pleased  to  talk  to  Mr.  B. 
of  my  advanced  age  ! " 

"  Talk  to  my  wife  of  a  young  family,  Sir ! 
I'm  old  myself,  or  I  would  teach  you  better 
manners,  puppy ! " 

"  Though  some  folks  hav-  taken  me  for  my 


138      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

daughter,  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  have  thought  of  no 
such  nonsense  for  more  than  a  year  gone  by, 
and  I  don't  mean  to  think  of  it  again,  I  assure 
you,  Sir ! " 

"  Kay,  nay,  Betty,  speak  the  truth ;  you 
think  of  nothing  else  but  that  and  the  policy : 
speak  truth,  and  shame  the  devil,  if  you  can't 
shame  Mr.  Impudence,  there !  " 

This  was  a  diversion  in  my  favor,  for  Betty 
blushed,  if  her  natural  crimson  did  not  belie 
her,  and  at  all  events  was  silenced;  while 
Bumby  chuckled  over  his  repartee,  buttoned 
up  his  unmentionables,  and  stared  at  me  with 
such  a  ludicrous  mixture  of  self-complacency, 
defiance,  and  doubt  in  his  face,  that  I  could  not 
help  myself,  and  indulged  in  a  hearty  laugh  at 
them  both.  A  laugh  when  cordial,  is  infectious, 
and  Bumby  laughed  too,  nor  could  his  wife 
wholly  resist  it. 

"  So  you  have  been  comparing  notes,  and 
like  a  couple  of  fools  retailing  to  each  other  all 
your  conversations  with  me?  I  heartily  wish 
Mrs.  Bumby  may  never  have  another  husband, 
or  another  child  as  long  as  she  lives,  nor  you 
another  wife  to  cool  your  stomach,  and  save  you 
from  choking.     But  you  shall  agree  on  your 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  139 

instructions  before  I  make  jour  will."  And  so 
they  finally  settled  for  themselves;  the  will  was 
never  made.  Mrs.  Bumby  died  about  three 
years  after,  and  the  old  gentleman  soon  followed 
her,  intestate !  but  he  continued  to  be  my  client 
till  he  died. 


140  ADVENTURES    OP   AN    ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER    XI. 

"  I  hope  well  of  to-morrow."  — Antony  and  Cxeopatea. 

Happen  what  will,  an  attorney  must  never 
lose  his  temper  or  his  self-possession  with  a 
client :  they  often  try  one  shamefully,  but  we 
must  put  up  with  all,  save  perhaps  in  some 
extreme  and  peculiar  cases.  If  a  client  chal- 
lenge you  with  losing  his  cause,  or  advising 
him  rashly  to  embark  in  litigation,  you  may 
be  sure,  if  your  conscience  honestly  acquits 
you,  that  this  is  preliminary  to  a  quarrel 
about  your  bill,  and  possibly  to  a  taxation  of 
it,  and  then  show  as  much  spirit  as  you  please. 
1  have  always  armed  myself  against  such 
assaults  with  clients  that  I  at  all  suspected,  by 
addressing  a  letter  to  them  previous  to  the  suit, 
in  which,  after  stating  the  facts  of  the  case, 
as  they  have  reported  them,  I  have  recorded 
my  opinion  on  the  course  that  under  the  cir- 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  141 

cumstances  they  ought  to  take.  It  is  very 
satisfactory  to  be  able  to  appeal  afterwards  to 
such  a  testimony  to  your  own  straight -forward 
proceedings.  After  all,  however,  clients  are 
entitled  to  be  captious,  impatient,  and  unrea- 
sonable ;  it  is  foolish  as  well  as  unj  ust  on  their 
part,  for  they  often  weary  and  alienate  the  sym- 
pathy of  their  attorney,  and  thus  render  him 
less  energetic  in  their  service;  they  sometimes 
bewilder  him,  and  thereby  make  him  uncertain 
and  indecisive ;  nor  will  any  client  of  liberal 
feelings  forget  that  there  may  chance  to  be 
twenty  other  matters  going  forward  in  the 
office,  every  one  of  which  may  be  as  urgent 
and  as  important  as  his  own  :  but  be  the  client 
what  he  may,  the  attorney  must  humor  and 
indulge  him,  except  in  one  point ;  a  nervous 
and  tidgety  client  should  never  be  allowed  to 
be  present  when  his  cause  is  tried ;  the  chances 
are  ten  to  one  that  he  ruins  the  best  case  ever 
laid  before  a  jury,  unless  his  counsel  is  endowed 
with  more  than  common  firmness:  he  will 
never  "let  well  alone,"  but  persevere  in  prompt- 
ing his  attorney  and  his  counsel,  till  he  makes 
the  jury  share  the  distrust  that  he  feels  him- 
self. 


142  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

A  Deginner  has  one  advantage  whieh  lie 
never  enjoys  in  after  life,  if  lie  acquires  any 
business  at  all;  he  is  allowed  the  reputation 
of  being  able  and  willing  to  devote  all  his  time 
to  a  client's  interest.  It  is  very  true  that  this 
reasonable  expectation  is  formed  by  nineteen 
clients  out  of  twenty,  whether  their  solicitor 
is  old  or  young;  a  new  man,  or  established 
in  credit  and  connexion;  but  it  is  certainly  a 
powerful  inducement  to  come  to  a  juvenile 
attorney,  provided  he  is  clever,  honest,  and  all 
that,  that  he  has  nothing  else  to  do.  Hence 
it  often  arises  that  in  cases  of  long  acumu- 
lating  confusion,  where  correspondence,  at  first 
friendly  and  explanatory,  and  then  expostula- 
tory,  and  finally  hostile  and  menacing,  has 
brought  the  parties  to  that  happy  position  in 
which  neither  knows  what  the  other  means, 
or  when  the  squabble  began,  or  where  it  is  to 
end,  they  seek  out  a  solicitor  not  so  much  to 
advise  on  the  quid  agendum,  as  to  unravel  the 
web  which  conflicting  interests,  aided  by  ill- 
temper,  have  woven  around  them ;  this  duty 
peculiarly  falls  to  the  lot  of  a  young  man  who 
kt  has  nothing  else  to  do!"  Yet  it  is  in  busi- 
ness  of    this    description    that    I    have    most 


I.N    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  143 

frequently  found  clients  of  all  others  the  most 
difficult  to  guide;  I  can  find  no  happier  term 
for  them  than  "  the  class  despondent."  In  the 
majority  of  cases  despondency  springs  more 
from  temper  than  from  a  conviction  of  insuper- 
able difficulty.  One  disappointment,  of  slight 
moment,  and  only  on  a  collateral  issue,  is 
speedily  followed  by  a  second,  possibly  by  a 
third;  though  the  merits  of  the  dispute  are 
still  untouched,  a  sanguine  or  anxious  man 
attaches  to  every  interlocutory  matter  an  im- 
portance that  does  not  belong  to  it ;  he  makes 
up  his  mind  that  all  must  turn  upon  thai 
single  question,  and  if  decided  against  him 
he  becomes  abattu.  We  have  no  English  word 
exactly  to  convey  the  meaning,  unless  it  is  the 
expressive  slang,  that  he  is  "  floored."  WTien 
two  or  three  defeats  of  this  kind  have  followed 
each  other  rapidly,  however  trifling  they  may 
be  in  themselves,  and  the  result  most  probably 
of  some  pettifoggery  of  a  grasping  opponent, 
practiced  to  obtain  a  dirty  profit  of  three  or 
four  pounds  in  costs  by  way  of  penalty  for  an 
oversight  or  blunder,  the  client  becomes  dis- 
heartened :  he  is  "  an  unlucky  man  "  — "  noth- 
ing  ever   succeeds   with   him,"    and   his    con- 


144  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

fidence  in  his  solicitor  is  imperceptibly  shaken, 
though  he  would  be  at  a  loss  himself  to  say 
why.  It  is  principally  in  proceedings  in  equity 
or  bankruptcy  that  cases  of  this  description 
occur ;  partly  because  in  modern  times  a 
practice  of  doubtful  propriety,  though  un- 
doubted convenience,  has  crept  up  of  disposing 
of  a  cause  by  a  sidewind  motion ;  but  chiefly 
because  such  proceedings,  from  their  procrasti- 
nated and  infinitesimal  character,  admit  of 
much  appeal  to  the  court  upon  collateral  and 
incidental  points.  There  is  considerable  diffi- 
culty in  dealing  with  such  clients:  if  you  give 
into  their  despondency  with  misplaced  sym- 
pathy, you  run  the  chance  of  confirming  them 
in  their  secretly  cherished  though  unacknowl- 
edged purpose  of  compromising  the  affair  for 
themselves,  at  whatever  disadvantage;  and 
you  are  'privately  accused  of  the  heavy  loss 
they  sustain.  The  injury  derived  from  these 
whispered  charges,  industriously  circulated  to 
excuse  their  own  irresolution,  may  prove 
incalculably  great  throughout  your  whole  con- 
nexion. On  the  other  hand,  if  you  sustain 
and  encourage  their  desponding  spirits,  you 
subject  yourself,  in  the  event  of  failure,  to  the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  145 

certain  imputation  of  influencing  your  client 
to  unprofitable  and  endless  litigation  for  self- 
interested  purposes,  while  "  lie  was  all  along 
willing  to  settle  it,  but  his  attorney  would  not 
let  him."  I  can  suggest  no  better  rule  for  an 
attorney  to  follow  in  cases  of  this  kind  than 
honestly  to  inform  himself,  by  the  opinion  of 
an  honest  counsel,  by  which  I  mean  a  man 
who  will  give  you  credit,  which  few  of  them 
will  do,  for  consulting  your  client's  interest  in 
disregard  of  your  own,  what  is  the  proper 
course  to  pursue,  and  to  take  that  course, 
utterly  regardless  of  any  reproach  which  the 
client  may  subsecpiently  make. 

There  are  clients,  however,  of  the  class  des- 
pondent, who  are  neither  chargeable  with 
temper  nor  injustice,  and  such  men  impose  on 
their  legal  adviser  duties  more  akin  to  the  phy- 
sician's or  the  clergyman's  than  the  lawyer's.  I 
fell  in  with  one  of  this  description  in  very  early 
life.  I  hate  a  sentimental  tragedy, — "scenes*' 
of  all  kinds  are  a  positive  nuisance;  but  as  pro- 
fessional adventures,  when  truly  related,  must 
partake  of  every  hue,  my  readers  will  excuse  me 
for  troubling  them  with  one;  we  shall  turn 
again  to  fun  with  redoubled  zest. 


146  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

My  friend  Harris  was  a  young  man  of  un- 
usual attainments  :  but  the  res  angusta  domi  did 
not  allow  him  to  devote  himself  to  professional 
life,  for  which,  in  any  quiet  and  unobtrusive 
branch,  he  was  peculiarly  adapted.  It  often 
occurs  to  such  men,  that  they  follow  literature 
or  science  just  to  the  extent  that  humanizes  the 
character,  and  gives  exquisite  refinement  to  the 
mental  tone,  but  falls  short  of  imparting  that 
vigor  of  mind  which  can  discriminate  justly 
between  merited  and  undeserved  reproach,  so  as 
to  set  at  naught  the  one,  while  they  shun  the 
other  as  the  severest  of  human  calamities. 
Harris  found  himself  at  the  age  of  five-and- 
twenty,  possessed  of  about  two  thousand 
pounds,  the  bequest  of  a  female  relative ;  hav- 
ing up  to  that  period,  languished  away  a  petty 
patrimony  of  less  than  a  fourth  of  that  sum, 
spinning  it  out  as  best  he  could,  till  the  patron- 
age of  a  distant  connexion  could  find  him  "an 
appointment "  equal  to  his  birth  and  education. 

Harris's  understanding  was  too  good  not  to 
be  aware  that  two  thousand  pounds  would  go 
but  a  little  way  towards  maintaining  him, 
while  he  acquired  the  rudiments  of  legal  or 
medical  instruction,  and  afterwards  waited  for 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  .47 

employment;    but    like   many    men    of    good 
understanding  whom  I  have  met  with  in  a  life 
now  not  a  very  short  one,  he  fell  into  the  mis- 
take of  supposing  that  commercial  business  is 
s.i  simple  and  inartificial   as  to  allow  any  man 
of  common   sense   and   common    prudence,   to 
embark  in  it  with  certain  profit.     He  inquired 
for  and  soon  found  "  a  highly  respectable  man 
that  wanted  a  partner  with  a  few  thousand,  who 
might  take  an  active  part,  or  not,  in  the  con- 
cern, as  he  might  feel  inclined."     We  all  know 
in  our  profession,  that  such    "opportunities" 
are  to   be  found  daily  by  the  score;  but   my 
poor  friend  was  not  an  attorney,  and  had  no 
attorney  at  his  elbow.     He  took  the  precaution, 
however,   of  employing  an   accountant    to  ex- 
amine  the     "opportunity"     books;     and    the 
accountant   overhauled    waste -book,   and    bill- 
book,  and  pass-book,   and   ledger,  and  all  the 
double  entry  and  other  Sybilline  leaves  of  trad- 
ing mystery,  till  his  brains  were  addled,  if  he 
ever  had  any.     Of  course  he  reported  all  right; 
and  in  an  evil  hour,  Harris  invested  his  little 
capital  in  "the  concern."     He  was  not  long  in 
discovering  that  his  partner  was  a  st  very  clever 
fellow,"    and   that   he   himself  knew    nothing: 


148  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

hence,    with    the   natural    modesty   of  a   well- 
educated  man,  and  with  the  natural  confidence 
of  an   inexperienced    one,    he   left   all   to   the 
management  of  his  "very  clever"  partner,  and 
shrunk  back  into  the  station  of  a  mere  count- 
ing-house clerk:   the  transition  to  a  sleeping, 
and  eventually  to  an  absentee   partner,  was  a 
matter  of  course.     From  this  slumber  he  was 
abruptly  awakened   about  two  years  from  its 
commencement,   by    finding    that    his    "  very 
clever  "  and  very  active  partner  had  taken  ship- 
ping one  fine  morning  for  America !     ISTo  sooner 
was  it  known,  than    claims  came  pouring   in 
from  all  directions  :  goods  supplied  on  commis- 
sion, goods  consigned  from  abroad,  all  abruptly 
found    owners;    but    neither   the   owners   nor 
Harris  could  diseover  the  goods  :  bills  accepted 
and  bills   dishonored  fell  from  the  skies  like 
leaves  in  October;     but  the   consideration  for 
them,  or  the  funds  to  meet  them,  were  alike 
evanescent.     Harris  found  himself  in  a  laby- 
rinth of  liability,  a  perfect  wilderness  of  paper 
and  arithmetic,  from  which  extrication  appeared 
hopeless  —  ruin  certain  and  irretrievable.     This 
was  his  position  when  he  first  applied  to  me. 
Amazed,  bewildered,  and  lost,  the  very  excite- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  149 

ment  of  extreme  misfortune,  and  hourly  per- 
plexity, at  first  kept  him  active  and  alive,  i 
called  his  creditors  together,  explained  to  them 
his  situation,  begged  their  indulgence  for  time 
to  look  about  us,  and  subject  to  certain  angry 
curses,  and  still  more  provoking  cost-  incurred 
by  carrion  attorneys  on  the  principle  of  first 
come  first  served,  I  succeeded  in  orettinor  hostile 
proceedings  suspended  for  a  month.  That 
month  enabled  me  to  sift  many  of  the  most 
elamorous  demands,  and  as  is  usual  in  such 
cases,  I  found  the  most  clamorous,  the  most 
equivocal.  T  silenced  half-a-dozen  by  geutle 
intimations  of  partnership  liability  arising  out 
of  their  dealings,  others  I  disposed  of  on  the 
ground  of  fraud,  and  I  began  to  see  my  way 
elearly  to  a  decent  dividend,  provided  affairs 
were  wound  up  under  a  trust  deed.  This  was 
all  satisfactory:  but  poor  Harris,  after  the  firs! 
storm  had  subsided,  became  nervous,  agitated, 
and  helpless,  as  he  was  ignorant,  as  a  child. 
He  was  with  me  daily;  but  it  was  only  to 
bemoan  himself,  and  ask  unmeaning  questions, 
or  tender  unavailing  service.  Advice,  consola- 
tion, encouragement,  were  all  thrown  away; 
"  he  cared  little  for  his  money  —  he  despised  his 


150  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

creditors — he  had  no  doubt  of  success  in  some 
other  calling;  but  what  would  become  of  his 
character  and  fair  fame?"  and  to  that  extent 
did  he  carry  this  morbid  sensibility,  that  when 
at  length  I  prevailed  on  all  the  bona  fith  credi- 
tors to  come  into  the  proposed  arrangement,  he 
defeated  it  entirely  by  peremptorily  refusing  to 
execute  any  deed  that  might  empower  the 
trustees  to  litigate  the  doubtful  claims  !  There 
was  a  mystery  about  this  pusillanimity  that  I 
could  not  penetrate,  but  it  was  soon  explained ; 
he  had  a  very  sufficient  reason  for  deprecating 
publicity !  Bona  fide  creditors,  however,  arc 
not  men  to  be  trifled  with;  when  Harris  per- 
emptorily refused  to  ratify  the  arrangement 
which  I  had  promised  on  his  behalf,  a  commis- 
sion was  soon  sued  out;  the  appearance  of  his 
name  in  the  gazette  brought  to  light,  at  the 
same  time  that  it  for  ever  terminated  an  en- 
gagement which  he  had  made  with  the  daughter 
of  an  eminent  merchant  —  a  worthless,  though 
amiable  woman  (for,  alas  !  I  have  not  lived 
forty  years  in  the  world,  without  learning  that 
amiability  may  consist  with  utter  baseness), 
and  Harris  became  bankrupt  and  broken- 
hearted the  same  day.     Had  he  possessed  more 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  151 

firmness,  I  still  could  have  brought  him. 
through:  for  a  time  he  was  quite  docile,  from 
mere  despondency.  As  the  truth  became 
known,  hostility  gave  place  to  commiseration, 
and  his  certificate  would  have  been  signed  with 
alacrity;  hut  a  circumstance  happened  which 
threatened  yet  deeper  disgrace.  TTis  villainous 
partner  was  the  trustee  of  funds  that  he  had 
appropriated  ;  it  became  necessary,  for  the  pro- 
tection of  the  estate,  to  try  the  question  at  law, 
whether  these  funds  had  been  applied  to  the  use 
of  the  partnership  ;  the  bare  suspicion  of  such 
a  fraud  was  too  much  for  my  poor  friend,  and 
he  died  before  the  trial  took  place.  The  lady 
to  whom  he  was  betrothed,  soon  found  a 
wealthier  husband,  and  not  long  after  her 
marriage,  found  also  a  more  agreeable  lover! 
but  whether  she  too  has  buried  her  more 
merited  sorrow-  in  the  grave,  I  know  not.  T 
saw  her  years  afterwards,  caressing  with  fond- 
ness a  child  that  did  not  bear  its  mother's 
name ;  she  looked  at  me  with  an  expression  of 
eager,  yet  retreating  anxiety,  and  tears  were  in 
her  eyes;  but  I  dreaded  retrospect  not  less  than 
she  could  do,  and  we  passed  in  silence.  I  have 
never  seen  or  heard  of  her  since. 


152  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

Clients  of  this  character  require  something 
more  than  professional  aid.  My  poor  friend's 
case  was  not  one  of  the  ordinary  description, 
certainly;  but  this  morbid  sensibility  is  not  of 
such  rare  occurrence  as  may  be  supposed,  though 
it  is  very  rarely  that  the  accidents  of  life  wound 
it  thus  deeply.  It  is  not  easy,  perhaps,  to  esti- 
mate the  true  value  of  early  and  total  disappoint- 
ment in  worldly  prospects ;  yet  on  the  other 
hand,  it  is  certain  that  very  early  disappoint- 
ment is  by  no  means  fatal  to  ultimate,  and  even 
brilliant  success.  That  there  is  "a  tide  in  the 
affairs  of  men  "  is  true  enough  :  but  the  hour  of 
its  ebb  or  flood  is  fortunately  too  capricious  to 
allow  of  the  maxim  being  of  much  practical 
use.  When  we  are  introduced  to  a  client  dis- 
posed to  surrender  himself  to  the  hopeless  feel- 
ings of  Harris,  we  arc  bound  to  sympathize  in 
them,  even  with  fraternal  tenderness;  but » not 
to  share  them.  In  proportion  as  he  is  cast 
down,  we  must  maintain  a  cheerful,  yet  tran- 
quil attitude. 

Cases  of  the  class  which  I  have  been  describ- 
ing are,  perhaps,  the  only  cases  in  which  an 
attorney  can  scarcely  go  too  far  in  taking  a 
personal  interest  in  his  client's  affairs ;  yet  even 


TN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  153 

here,  that  interest  must  stop  short  of  identity 
of  feeling;  a  calm  self-possession  must  be 
maintained,  or  he  will  fail  in  encouraging  his 
client,  for  encouragement  to  hope  is  imparted 
more  by  example  than  by  precept.  To  under- 
value difficulties,  to  laugh  at  obstacles  which 
can  only  be  surmounted  by  patient  ingenuity, 
is  inexpedient  and  dangerous :  when  their  real 
magnitude  becomes  apparent,  the  client  will 
distrust  your  professional  knowledge,  and  his 
despondency  becomes  deeper  by  the  failure  of 
his  confidence.  All  should  be  clearly  and 
honestly  explained  to  him;  but  the  explanation 
should  be  given  with  the  manner  of  one  who 
knows  what  he  has  to  encounter,  and  is  consci- 
ous that  there  is  nothing  in  it  so  formidable, 
but  perseverance  and  good  sense  may  insure 
success.  All  this  is  obvious  and  commonplace, 
yet  it  is  a  most  difficult  doctrine  to  reduce  to 
practice ;  for  it  is  much  opposed  to  that  policy 
which  guides  the  younger  members  of  the  pro- 
fession. Some,  I  fear  too  many,  think  it  wise 
to  exaggerate  difficulties,  that  they  may  secure 
proportionate  credit  for  surmounting  them : 
others  from  natural  diffidence  if  not  timidity, 
rate  them  too  highly,  to  pave  the  way  for  ex- 


,154  ADVENTURES    OP    AN    ATTORNEY 

pected  defeat :  there  is  yet  a  third  class  who 
apprehend  their  client's  displeasure,  if  they 
appear  to  entertain  less  anxiety  and  alarm  than 
himself,  at  the  critical  position  in  which  he 
stands.  All  these  motives  are  personal  and 
selfish,  when  traced  to  their  source;  and  selfish- 
ness so  surely  predominates,  that  the  chances 
are  always  in  favor  of  an  inexperienced  attorney 
acting  upon  them,  in  preference  to  more  gener- 
ous principles.  I  am  convinced,  however,  that 
this  selfish  policy  is  short-sighted;  I  have 
known  more  than  one  instance  of  counsel  ac- 
quiring an  extent  of  business  for  which  their 
learning  little  qualified  them,  by  the  consolatory 
spirit  in  which  they  always  predicate  success. 
I  know  many  in  which  counsel  of  profound 
knowledge  and  high  attainments  have  pursued 
a  long  career  of  yearly  disappointment,  because 
the  nervous  apprehension  of  being  turned 
round  on  some  point  which  few  but  themselves 
would  have  the  acuteness  to  discover,  dismisses 
the  attorney  from  his  conference  with  gloomy 
forebodings  of  the  issue.  If,  notwithstanding 
he  succeeds,  he  doubts  the  soundness  of  the 
advice,  and  at  all  events  retains  no  pleasing 
recollection    of    his    adviser.       The    same    rule 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  15.5 

holds  in  every  respect,  between  the  attorney  and 
his  client.  A  cheerful,  I  do  not  mean  a 
sanguine  expectation,  rallies  the  spirits,  and 
gives  courage  to  the  drooping  litigant:  it  is 
impossible  to  give  strength  of  mind  to  one  who 
is  utterly  destitute  of  it,  but  a  temporary  firm- 
ness, sufficient  for  the  occasion,  may  often  be 
generated  in  a  timid  man  who  feels  himself 
thrown  upon  superior  resolution  for  support ; 
and  the  most  certain  mode  of  strengthening  his 
confidence,  and  removing  his  depression,  is  to 
exhibit  the  energy  that  he  wants,  while  you  do 
not  deny  the  emergency  that  requires  it. 

It  is  scarcely  foreign  to  this  subject  to  observe 
that  a  great  mistake  obtains  among  the  junior 
branches  of  the  profession,  and  perhaps  among 
many  of  all  ages  out  of  it,  as  to  the  qualities 
which  are  peculiarly  desirable  in  a  solicitor. 
It  is  rightly  assumed  that  he  must  possess  a 
certain  share  of  legal  knowledge ;  though  even 
here,  if  I  may  judge  by  the  prosperity  of  many, 
less  will  serve  his  turn  than  is  commonly  sup- 
posed:  a  liberal  education  ultra  the  law,  is 
mostly,  but  very  erroneously,  regarded  as  mere 
accomplishment.  I  am  ashamed  to  say  of  my 
brethren,  that  I  know  too  many   among  them, 


156  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

the  style  of  whose  composition  would  disgrace 
a  chambermaid,  and  the  tone  of  whose  manners 
would  exclude  them  from   the  butler's  pantry. 
I    know  not  one  however,  of  this  description, 
who  has   ever  attained,    or  even  aspired  to  a 
higher  rank  in  it,   than  that  which  might  be 
allowed  to  a  sheriff's  officer,  or  a  money-lend- 
ing Jew.     Honesty,  in  the  ordinary  and  limited 
sense  of  the  term,  is  generally  presumed  as  a 
qualification    of    course,    though    ill-natured 
people  do  say  that  it  is  rather  an  extraordinary 
professional   trait.      All  however,   are   agreed, 
that  to  a  greater  or  less  extent,  according  to 
taste  and   the  character  of  his  business,   law, 
general  knowledge,  and  common  honesty  are 
required  in  an  attorney  :   but   discuss   the  desir- 
able a   little    further,    and    we    find    the    usual 
definition   o-iven   of  the  desiderated  animal  is 
that  he  shall  be  "  a  sharp,  clever  fellow."     In 
deference  to  this  favorite  notion,  I  have  assumed 
my  nam  de  voyage ;   yet  with  the  inconsistency 
of  many  who  travel  the  continent  as  captains 
and  colonels  (I  know  one  gallant  old  gentleman 
at  this  moment,  who  designates  himself  abroad 
as  "  Monsieur  le  Colonel,"  in  virtue  of  an  old 
uniform  to  which  he  had  acquired  a  title  under 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  157 

the  volunteer  system),  I  am  bold  enough  to  say 
not  only  that  your  "  sharp,  clever  fellows " 
make  your  worst  attorneys,  but  that  they  rarely 
gain  admission  to  the  higher  classes  of  respect- 
able clients :  this  sounds  a  little  paradoxical, 
but  there  is  sufficient  reason  for  it.  The  sort 
of  cleverness  which  obtains  this  reputation  for 
an  attorney,  is  to  be  found  in  every  office  on 
very  cheap  terms.  Every  common  law  or 
chancery  clerk  (as  a  piano  that  has  been  prac- 
tised  on  for  two  or  three  years,  arrives  at  its 
prime)  is  after  a  short  probation,  pre-eminent 
for  it;  and  no  office  of  any  extent  in  business 
is  without  a  convenient  appendage  of  this  kind, 
whose  special  duty  it  is  to  set  snares  and  catch 
an  opponent  tripping  :  whenever  he  or  his  em- 
pl<  »yer  is  at  fault,  the  pleader  or  a  junior  counsel 
will  soon  make  a  skillful  cast  for  the  scent. 
This  conflict  of  wit  for  petty  advantage  often 
occurs  among  the  subordinates  of  an  attorney's 
office;  and  where  (though  that  is  very  seldom,) 
the  client  reaps  any  real  benefit  from  it,  the 
principal,  by  reflected  honor  from  his  clerk,  is 
voted  a  "sharp  and  clever  fellow."'  Among 
respectable  men,  however,  these  paltry  conten- 
tions   are    despised,    and     also     discouraged; 


158  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

because  they  tend  to  create  angry  and  vindic- 
tive feeling,  without  any  counter- balancing 
advantage,  except,  perchance,  two  or  three 
pounds  that  may  be  successfully  extracted 
from  the  pocket  of  an  opponent  in  the  shape  of 
costs,  with  as  much  credit,  though  more  safety, 
than  by  picking  it  of  a  watch  and  seals.  It 
generally  happens  that  clerks  who  spend  their 
noviciate  in  learning  this  cleverness,  picpie 
themselves  so  much  on  the  acquisition  of  it, 
that  they  learn  but  little  else;  and  when  they 
enter  upon  practice  on  their  own  account,  have 
no  other  accomplishment  to  bring  to  their  aid. 
Hence  their  minds  degenerate;  their  business 
is  low,  because  it  is  chiefly  in  low  business  that 
such  smartness  enables  them  to  shine;  and 
even  low  and  vulgar  clients  very  soon  discover, 
that  while  in  the  progress  of  a  cause,  these 
"sharp,  clever  fellows"  arc  daily  met  and 
defeated  by  pleaders  and  counsel,  if  not  by 
attorneys,  as  sharp  and  clever  as  themselves, 
their  sharpness  is  frequently  turned  upon  their 
employers,  of  whose  dullness  they  can  render 
very  profitable  account!  The  truth  is,  that  it 
is  only  clients  of  very  doubtful  honest}',  and 
who  have  business  to  transact  which  demands 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  159 

the  protection  of  those  resources  to  which 
knavery  alone  will  stoop,  that  require  the  aid 
of  these  "  sharp,  clever  men ;  "  but  such  clients 
are  not  worth  having  on  any  terms,  and  if  you 
have  too  many  of  them,  you  will  secure  a 
reputation  for  cunning  and  address  that  will 
keep  more  respectable  connexions  at  a  respectful 
distance.  If  I  were  asked  to  define  the  pro- 
fessional character  to  which  I  should  most 
willingly  trust  myself,  in  an  affair  of  delicacy 
or  importance,  involved  in  intricate  details  of 
circumstance,  and  entangled,  perhaps,  with 
much  of  personal  and  private  feeling,  I  should 
select  a  man  distinguished  by  calm  energy,  a 
clear  head,  and  sound  common  sense :  if  in 
addition  to  this,  he  were  gifted  with  a  cheerful 
disposition,  and  marked,  not  by  fastidious 
delicacy  of  mind,  but  by  that  enlarged  honesty 
which  is  usually  intended  by  "  honorable 
principle,"  I  should  consider  that  he  possessed 
the  finest  qualities  for  a  useful  attorney.  Of 
course  there  are  not  many  who  come  up  to  this 
standard;  but  in  proportion  as  they  approach 
it,  and  as  the  general  nature  of  their  business 
implies  that  they  keep  it  constantly  in  view,  a 
client  ma.  consider  himself  safe  in  their  hands. 


160  ADVENTURES   01   AN   ATTORNEY 

If  my  work  were  not  necessarily  anonymous, 
and  anonymous  praise,  however  sincere,  goes 
for  nothing,  I  could  with  ease  name  a  hundred 
solicitors  that  well  deserve  to  be  classed  with 
such  as  I  have  here  described. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  l(jj 


CHAPTER    XII. 

"  Cum  pertinacia  recte  disputari  nou  potest."— Cic.  de  Fin. 

"  Qua  in  re  miM  ridicule  es  visus  esse  inconstans."— Pro.  Qu.  R. 

But  I  have  been  tempted  into  a  long  digres- 
sion from  ■  my  immediate  subject.  I  might 
distinguish  and  classify  clients  by  as  maiiv 
peculiarities  as  there  are  passions  in  human 
nature :  I  wish,  however,  only  to  mention  sorut 
of  the  more  usual  varieties.  There  is  a  very 
large  and  very  profitable  class  that  may  be 
described  as  the  "wrong-headed."  Wrong- 
headedness  may  spring  from  temper,  from  tim- 
idity, from  ignorance,  and  a  multitude  of  causes. 
I  have  already  given  a  tew  specimens  of  the 
class  that  will  illustrate  this,  but  the  wrong- 
headedness  to  which  I  am  now  alluding,  is  an 
infirmity  of  itself,  more  nearly  allied  to  pride, 
perhaps,  than  to  any  other  kindred  spirit,  but 
distinguishable  in  many  points  even  from  that. 
It  is  an  obstinacy  ot  that  peculiar  character  that 


162  ADVENTURES    0E   AN   ATTORNEY 

will  resolutely  act  for  itself,  even  while  it  admits 
its  inability  to  judge,  or  to  collect  the  materials 
for  judging  correctly.  It  acknowledges  its 
own  dullness;  it  seeks  to  be  enlightened;  it 
professes  an  eager  anxiety  to  "  see  its  way 
clearly;"  it  owns  to  perplexity;  and  acknow- 
ledges inexperience.  The  attorney  is  taken  with 
this  show  of  deferential  confidence ;  he  exposes 
the  true  position  of  the  party,  points  out  the 
material  circumstances,  explains  the  collateral 
bearings  of  the  subjects,  suggests  the  difficulties 
and  advises  on  the  prudential  course ;  when  to 
his  surprise  and  mortification,  he  finds  he  has 
been  talking  to  the  winds. 

"  I  admit  all  you  say,  Mr.  Sharpe;  there  is  a 
great  deal  of  truth  in  it ;  perhaps  you  are  right ; 
only  it  does  not  seem  to  me  that  I  must  go  on  as 
I  proposed." 

"  Then,  Sir,  you  will  assuredly  subject  your- 
self to  costs,  and  probably  to  disappointment." 

"  It  is  very  honest  in  you  to  say  so,  Mr.  Sharpe, 
but  I  own  I  have  formed  my  opinion  long 
since." 

11  Your  opinion  was  formed  under  a  mistaken 
view  of  the  case :  you  now  see  your  position 
better." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  163 

"Yes,  but  I  am  not  apt  to  be  mistaken;  I 
find  others  agree  with  me  in  my  first  impres- 
sions." 

"  Perhaps  you  did  not  so  fully  explain  your- 
self and  your  situation  to  them." 

"  It  may  be  so ;  but  I  do  not  well  see  how  I 
can  alter  my  purpose." 

"  You  have  not  understood  before  how  desti- 
tute you  are  of  evidence." 

"  Yes  :  but  I  may  find  some  better  evidence 
yet." 

"  Then  the  legal  point  is  doubtful,  if  you  do." 

"That's  true:  but  I  must  trust  to  counsel  for 
that.     It  strikes  me  that  I  must  go  on." 

"Should  you  eventually  fail,  you  widen  the 
breach  that  it  is  your  interest  to  heal."' 

"I  am  aware  of  that;  still  I  don't  see  how  I 
can  help  myself." 

"  I  feel  it  my  duty  to  say  that  1  think  your 
determination  a  rash  one." 

"I  am  very  sorry  for  that,  Sir ;  very  sorry,  in- 
deed :  but  if  you  are  unwilling  to  undertake  the 
cause  I  must  consult  Mr.  Darall.  I  have  heard 
all  you  have  said  with  attention ;  but  I  confess  I 
am  not  convinced,  so  I  cannot  alter  my  mind.''" 

And  if  you   remain  honestly  firm  to   your 


164  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

opinion,  no  matter  how  rational  or  how  disin- 
terested, you  lose  your  client.  Here  is  a  choice 
of  difficulties :  take  up  the  cause  and  fail,  and 
the  failure  is  not  thrown  on  your  client's  obstin- 
acy, not  even  by  his  own  conscience,  but  on 
your  ignorance  and  irresolution  :  should  you 
succeed,  the  probability  is  that  you  lose  his 
confidence  hereafter,  because  your  success  gives 
the  lie  to  your  own  predictions.  Reputation  is 
endangered  either  way,  for  I  know  to  my  cost, 
that  a  character  for  being  too  cautious  is  as  fatal 
to  professional  repute,  as  the  opposite  extreme 
of  temerity.  These  wrong-headed  customers 
are  the  most  profitable  of  any,  when  they  do 
happen  to  be  right ;  this  however,  is  but  seldom, 
for  if  they  do  not  find  a  post  in  their  way,  they 
will  soon  make  one  to  run  their  heads  against. 
On  the  whole,  I  dread  a  "but"  and  a  "yes,  but" 
client.  Pleas  by  confession  and  avoidance  are 
most  provoking. 

The  "whimsical"  species  is  a  very  large 
family;  and  if  not  very  perplexing,  certainly 
very  far  from  agreeable.  I  may  observe  of  this 
class,  as  of  the  last,  that  their  business  is  gen- 
erally of  a  nature  peculiar  to  themselves.  The 
case  of  the  wrong-headed  is  usually  one  of  some 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  165 

very  equivocal  right :  the  abatement  of  an  al- 
leged nuisance;  the  restraint  of  a  customary 
trespass;  resistance  to  a  doubtful  encroachment; 
enforcement  of  a  vague  contract;  or  above  all, 
the  assertion  of  some  very  questionable  right  of 
way,  of  toll,  of  common,  and  so  forth.  With 
clergymen  invariably  it  arises  on  the  titheable 
character  of  a  twig  of  hazel  or  an  alder  bush. 
So  with  the  client  whimsical,  his  wrongs  are 
always  characteristic  of  the  man :  they  savor 
of  frivolity,  —  he  has  been  deceived  in  the  value 
of  a  painting  or  a  horse,  —  or  the  mail  has 
started  before  its  time,  and  left  him  behind 
—  or  he  has  contracted  for  a  green -house  or  a 
dog- kennel,  and  the  builder  has  built  it  one  way 
while  he  ordered  it  another;  and  then  comes 
objection;  objection  ends  in  quarrel ;  and  each 
party  flies  to  his  attorney,  to  bring  the  other  to 
book ;  it  by  no  means  follows  that  the  attorney 
is  empowered  to  act,  however.  I  had  an  amus- 
ing instance  of  this  indecision  in  a  man  who 
was  otherwise  sensible,  and  who  chanced,  on 
this  occasion,  to  be  right  on  the  merits.  My 
friend  had  contracted  for  extensive  alterations 
in  his  house;  a  specification  had  been  prepared, 
but  as  usual,  the  original  plan  had  been  aband- 


166  ADVENT UKES    OE    AN    ATTOKNEY 

oned,  revived,  again  abandoned,  and  eventual!  v 
varied  a  dozen  times.  Of  course  a  bill  for  extra 
work  to  no  small  amount,  was  sent  in.  He 
brought  it  to  me. 

"  Here's  a  pretty  rascal  for  you  !  be  contracted 
to  do  the  job  for  a  hundred  pounds,  which  I 
paid  him,  and  here  is  sixty  -  three  more !  I  shall 
not  pay  it.     Can  he  make  me,  Sharpe  ?  " 

"  That  depends  on  circumstances ;  was  the 
work  included  in  the  contract?" 

"  Some  of  it  was  ;  he  was  to  open  a  door  into 
the  drawing-room,  but  I  afterwards  ordered 
folding -doors." 

"  Is  that  the  only  deviation  ?  " 

"  No :  the  new  windows  were  to  be  sash  win- 
dows, and  they  were  altered  to  French." 

"  Any  thing  more  ?  " 

"  Why,  I  was  obliged  to  change  the  position 
of  the  fire-place  on  account  of  the  kitchen  flues." 

"Was  this  all?" 

"Pretty  nearly,  only  the  recess  was  turned 
into  a  closet." 

"  Have  you  done  now  ? " 

"  Let  me  see!  No:  I  forgot  the  flooring.  It 
was  new  laid  to  correspond  with  the  other 
floor." 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  107 

"And  there  the  alterations  ended?" 

"  The  hinges  of  the  new  doors  were  changed 
for  patent  hinges." 

"  Then  the  rest  was  done  according  to  the 
contract  ? " 

"Not  entirely;  we  did  not  like  the  white 
marble,  so  we  substituted  Douro." 

"And  the  painting  and  papering?" 

"It  was  to  have  been  papered,  certainly,  but 
we  found  that  painting  was  better  for  the  pic- 
tures." 

"That  led  to  further  change?" 

"  Why,  you  know  we  were  obliged  to  have 
the  oak  graining  to  correspond  with  the  draw- 
ing-room." 

"And  the  cornices?" 

"Oh,  dear,  I  forgot  the  cornice;  of  course 
that  was  made  of  the  same  pattern  as  the  other." 

"  Then  with  these  deviations  the  specification 
was  adhered  to. 

"  Except  m  a  few  trifling  matters,  perhaps." 

On  showing  him  the  contract  and  the  plan,  I 
easily  satisfied  him  that  the  specification  had 
been  abandoned  in  every  particular,  but  he  "  did 
not  intend  to  pay  nevertheless,"  and  I  must 
w  rite  and  say  so ;  the  next  day  he  repeated  his  call. 


168  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  Have  you  written,  Sharpe  ?" 

"  No  :  I  knew  you  would  change  your  mind.''* 

"I'm  glad  of  it;  I  want  you  to  write  and 
propose  a  reference." 

This  was  more  rational,  but  I  still  hesitated 
till  he  called  again. 

"  Will  he  refer  it,  Sharpe  ?" 

"  I  have  not  asked  him." 

"  Very  right,  for  I  think  if  you  were  to  tender 
him  ten  or  twenty  pounds,  I  shall  hear  no  more 
about  it." 

I  thought  so  too ;  but  I  was  by  no  means 
sure  that  my  friend  would  be  of  the  same 
mind  for  four  -  and  -  twenty  hours,  and  then 
we  should  be  worse  off  than  ever.  I  judged 
correctly. 

"  I  hope  you  have  not  offered  the  money, 
Sharpe?"  were  the  first  words  on  the  following 
day. 

"  Not  yet;  I  shall  do  so  before  night." 

"  By  no  means  ;  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to 
resist  the  claim  altogether,  for  the  work's  ill 
done;  I  am  determined  to  resist  it." 

Before  the  week  ended,  came  the  attorney's 
letter  enclosing  the  writ,  and  my  client  soon 
followed  it  to  my  office. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  169 

"  This  looks  serious,  Sharpe ;  have  you  re- 
tained Serjeant  Wilde  ? " 

"No  doubt  that  is  done  already  by  the  plain- 
tiff', but  I  will  send  a  retainer  at  once  for  the 
chance." 

The  plaintiff  had  secured  him  the  previous 
day. 

"Very  unlucky  indeed,  Sharpe !  very  un- 
fortunate! what  can  I  do  now?  " 

"  Tender  him  twenty  pounds." 

"  He  won't  take  it :  'tis  too  late  for  that." 

"Propose  a  reference." 

"  I  think  that  would  have  done  a  week  ago, 
but  'tis  useless  now." 

"  Write  and  say  you  will  defend  the  action." 

"Yes,  and  pay  all  the  costs  on  both  sides ! 
juries  always  give  verdicts  for  brother  trades- 
men." 

"Then  pay  the  money;  or  go  to  Brighton 
and  make  yourself  scarce  for  a  month,  and 
leave  the  matter  to  me." 

The  latter  alternative  was  the  most  agreeable. 
1  offered  a  reference  to  any  surveyor  of  eminence, 
and  added  that  I  should  give  the  offer  in  evi- 
dence; it  was  accepted,  the  work  was  measured, 
sixty  pounds  taken  oft  the  sixty -three  (this  is 


170  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

literally  true),  and  five  pounds  more  for  the 
survey  and  costs  settled  the  whole  transaction. 
The  whimsicality  of  my  client  was  not  the  less 
mischievously  absurd.  Time  is  always  lost, 
costs  often  incurred,  and  favorable  opportunities 
of  amicable  compromise,  or  of  testing  the  in 
terrorem  power  of  professional  decision,  are 
foolishly  allowed  to  slip  by. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  171 


CHAPTER   XIII. 

"  Multitude*  superbe  dominatur."  —  Lrv. 

The  "  client  collective "  is  an  untameable 
hydra!  There  are  many  varieties  of  this 
species :  sometimes  it  is  found  in  the  form  of 
parish  vestries ;  sometimes  of  a  bench  of  magis- 
trates ;  sometimes  of  a  professional  or  scientific 
council ;  at  others  of  a  coffee-house  assemblage 
of  rapacious  creditors,  or  of  an  insurance  or 
railroad  board.  In  whatever  form  the  mon- 
ster appears,  it  requires  Herculean  powers 
to  encounter  it.  It  has  fallen  to  my  lot  to  meet 
it  in  every  shape,  yet  I  scarcely  know  how  to 
prepare  myself,  much  less  others,  for  the  con- 
flict. To  drop  metaphor;  we  must  recollect 
that  when  men  assemble  in  considerable  num- 
bers to  effect  any  common  object,  but  not  sub- 
jected to  any  rigorous  discipline  because  they 
assemble  spontaneously,  and  therefore  on  terms 


172  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

of  republican  equality,  each  brings  to  the  dis- 
cussion not  merely  his  peculiar  knowledge,  but 
his  peculiar  temper  and  absurdities :  the  most 
good-natured  man  is  voted  to  the  chair,  and 
unless  firmness  and  good  sense  mark  his  de- 
portment, his  good -nature  is  in  his  own  way 
and  the  way  of  every  body  else :  passion  breaks 
loose ;  absurdity  gains  ground,  (for  every  man 
is  more  or  less  absurd  on  some  point),  the  chair- 
man appeals  to  the  good  sense  of  the  board, 
long  after  every  symptom  of  it  has  vanished, 
and  then  the  dernier  ressort  is  to  the  authority  of 
the  legal  adviser.  But  this  officer  usually  stands 
in  a  very  unlucky  predicament.  He  has  an  ac- 
knowledged interest  in  the  question  of  costs,  on 
every  important  matter  that  provokes  debate. 
Collective  bodies  are  destitute  of  delicacy  or 
shame;  where  reproach  is  distributed  among 
many,  each  man's  share  becomes  imperceptibly 
light ;  hence  the  most  cutting  sarcasm  and  illib- 
eral sneers  are  unsparingly  vented  on  profes- 
sional rapacity,  by  men  who  would  blush  indi- 
vidually to  be  suspected  of  a  shabby  economy. 
In  their  official  chairs  however,  they  "  are  trus- 
tees for  the  public;"  and  under  this  convenient 
salvo,  they  uphold  penurious  parsimony  as  a 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  173 

laudable  duty  that  they  are  hound  to  practice. 
Xow  to  all  this,  the  attorney  must  submit  with 
patience,  —  nay,  with  cheerfulness;  for  if  he 
appears  to  wince  under  the  lash,  punishment  is 
redoubled;  should  he  be  provoked  into  a  re- 
tort, be  challenges  a  trial  of  official  strength ; 
for  there  is  nothing  that  assembled  officials  like 
to  display  so  much  as  their  power.  Yet  their 
attorney  must  answer  every  appeal  with  calm 
good -humor,  as  well  as  deferential  gravity. 

A  favorable  opportunity  occurred  to  me  in 
the  third  year  of  my  professional  life,  to  start  a 
public  company  for  a  very  legitimate  purpose. 
Joint- stock  speculations  were  not  at  that  time 
so  much  distrusted  as  they  are  now;  foreign 
mining  was  the  rage,  and  fortunate  was  the  man 
who  could  state  on  decent  authority  that  Chili 
or  Peru  had  still  a  barren  mountain  unprovided 
with  a  wealthy  owner.  No  sooner  was  it  an- 
nounced by  me  that  the  rich  soil  of  Bubbillas>i 
was  in  the  market  than  shareholders,  directors, 
and  trustees  came  in  by  shoals.  I  knew  neither 
its  latitude  nor  longitude.  I  was  equally  ignor- 
ant of  its  products,  its  capabilities,  and  its 
value.  An  enterprising  friend  had  spent  three 
months  on  the  South  American  continent  dab- 


174      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

bling  a  little  in  geology,  mineralogy,  and  "  all 

the  other  ologies ;  "  he  returned  home  at  the  nick 
of  time,  prated  fluently  about  gold  and  silver 
lodes,  veins  unexplored,  and  hidden  treasures,  all 
of  which  needed  but  a  few  thousand  pounds, 
and  a  clever  agent  like  himself,  to  secure  them 
to  the  first  bidder  in  the  market  of  British  cap- 
italists. I  own  that  at  this  age  I  was  scandal- 
ously green  as  to  the  advantages  to  be  derived 
from  such  lucrative  projects;  I  little  dreamt  of 
the  mystery  of  issuing  shares  most  grudginglv, 
swearing  that  they  were  all  bespoke,  long  ere 
one  had  been  subscribed  for,  bribing  an  active 
stock -broker  with  the  disposal  of  a  few  hun- 
dreds of  them,  and  then  pocketing  the  premium 
before  a  first  installment  had  been  paid.  Had  I 
comprehended  all  this  thimble  -riggery  then,  I 
should  have  been  far  above  the  necessity  now  of 
"  soft -soldering  "  clients  !  but  let  human  nature 
be  as  bad  as  it  may,  I  do  maintain  that  such 
knowledge  is  not  to  be  acquired  by  intuition, 
even  by  a  man  born  in  the  Rotunda,  and  cradled 
in  the  Stock  Exchange!  no,  not  though  he 
should  be  blest  with  a  Jew -attorney  for  a  dry- 
nurse.  My  prospectus  of  the  Bubbillassi  Min- 
ing Company  was  soon  published,  (I  was  always 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  175 

a  good  hand  at  drawing  a  prospectus,)  and 
bankers,  merchants,  stock -brokers,  ship-own- 
ers, and  East  India  captains  were  at  me  by  the 
dozen.  Even  metropolitan  M.  P.'s  and  wor- 
shipful Aldermen  thought  it  no  sin  to  assure 
me  that  "  they  liked  the  scheme ;  it  was  a  mag- 
nificent idea,  they  had  much  time  on  their  hands 
and  would  be  happy  to  take  a  few  shares,  and 
even  to  give  weight  to  the  direction  by  taking  a 
part  in  it,  if  all  the  seats  were  not  yet  filled  up." 
I  might  have  suspected  that  all  this  meant  some- 
thing, but  like  a  confiding  greenhorn  as  I  was, 
I  innocently  interpreted  these  kind  assurances 
au  pied  de  lettre,  and  bestowed  my  patronage  in 
the  order  of  the  applications  made  to  me. 
Thus  I  soon  found  myself  surrounded  by  a 
motley  crew,  all  of  my  own  appointment,  and 
as  I  of  course  inferred,  all  most  gratefully  dis- 
posed to  admit  a  reciprocity  of  obligation.  For 
a  time  things  went  on  swimmingly  ;  not  a  soul 
among  us  knew  anything  about  the  mines,  or 
smelting,  or  Chili,  or  Peru,  or  aught  connected 
therewith !  Less  still  did  they  understand  the 
science  of  organizing  associated  bodies ;  all  was 
left  to  my  ingenuity,  and  aided  by  the  local  in- 
formation of  my  ingenious  coadjutor,!  contri veil 


176  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

to  satisfy  all  doubts,  overcome  all  obstacles,  and 
launch  the  speculation  so  plausibly  and  dexter- 
ously, that  shares  rose  in  the  market  to  a 
premium  that  enriched  every  body  but  myself, 
and  those  who  paid  it !  Of  our  eventful  success 
I  shall  say  no  more ;  there  are  thousands  and 
tens  of  thousands  who  will  be  at  no  loss  to 
identify  their  Company  by  this  short  sketch  of 
its  commencement,  and  if  a  lurking  doubt 
should  still  remain,  the  following  scene  at  a 
weekly  board  will  remove  it.  There  are  sundry 
articles  of  furniture,  of  "  property,"  I  believe  I 
should  say  in  theatrical  phrase,  that  are  essential 
to  Company  dramas.  Twelve  mahogany  chairs 
of  massive  dignity,  duly  covered  with  green 
morocco,  and  commanded  by  one  of  loftier  pre- 
tensions in  capacity  and  elevation  of  back;  a 
very  neat  ivory  turned  hammer  somewhat  larger 
than  an  auctioneer's,  to  assist  in  resolving  into 
its  simple  ideas  the  compound  eloquence  of 
twelve  gentlemen  of  "  considerable  influence, 
well  known  in  the  city;"  six  daily  newspapers 
to  amuse  the  thoughts  of  those  who  "take  no 
interest  in  the  immediate  subject  of  discussion ;  " 
a  dozen  memorandum  books  interleaved  with 
blotting-paper  to  employ  the  ringer  during  the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  lti 

tedious  process  of  reading  over  minutes,  and 
formal  correspondence;  and  above  all,  a  lengthy 
table,  at  which  twenty  aldermen  might  dine 
without  crowding,  which  said  table  must  be 
covered  with  superfine  green  cloth  :  all  these 
several  properties  are  actually  indispensable  to 
the  due  performance  of  directorial  parts,  though 
on  the  whole,  I  am  inclined  to  think  the  green 
table  the  most  important  of  them  all. 

The  first  occasion  on  which  my  professional 
assistance  was  formally  requested,  arose  on 
a  matter  that  seemed  to  me  ludicrously  insignifi- 
cant ;  but  I  had  not  then  learnt  that  the  zeal 
of  a  "  collective  client "  increases  in  a  direct 
ratio  with  the  insignificance  of  the  subject,  and 
rightly  so ;  for  what  dependence  can  be  placed 
on  the  wisdom  and  frusralitv  of  "  a  public 
board,"  if  even  in  trifles  involving  however 
slightly  the  "interests  of  the  share -holders," 
they  lose  sight  of  economy,  or  foolishly  confide 
the  management  specially  entrusted  to  their 
selves,  to  the  skill  of  subordinate  officials  ?  The 
deed  of  settlement  was  a  document  of  awful 
length,  extending  over  some  thirty  skins  of 
parchment  of  more  than  ordinary  dimensions ; 
I  had  succeeded  in  procuring  the  signatures  of 


178  ADVENTURES    OP    AN    ATTORNEY 

all  the  proprietors,  and  as  in  duty  bound, 
reported  progress,  and  laid  the  mighty  roll  on 
the  table.  "  What  next?"  was  the  perplexing 
inquiry  that  led  to  the  following  scene. 

"  Gentlemen,"  began  the  chairman  with  most 
becoming  gravity,  after  a  short  prelude  with 
the  ivory  hammer,  "  Gentlemen,"  and  the 
hammer  was  again  called  into  action  :  "I  must 
entreat  silence,  gentlemen,  for  one  minute, 
while"  — 

"  Mr.  Chairman,"  exclaimed  a  pert  youth  of 
about  live -and -twenty,  who  gloried  in  the 
name  of  Gribble,  "  I  wish  to  know,  Mr.  Chair- 
man, why  that  enormous  mass  of  parchment, 
which  of  course  cost  money,  might  not  have 
been  saved  ?  paper  would  have  done  as  well !  " 

"  I  was  going  to  explain,  Mr.  Gribble," 
promptly  answered  the  chairmau;  but  ere  he 
could  finish  the  sentence,  a  new  orator  broke 
forth  in  a  Mr.  Lounch,  a  steady,  substantial,  and 
straight -forward  tradesman  of  the  old  school. 

"  Saving's  a  very  good  thing,  Mr.  Chairman, 
but  order  is  still  better ;  and  I  call  Mr.  Gribble 
to  order,  seeing  that  you,  Sir,  were  in  possession 
of  the  chair  !  " 

."  I  don't  well  see  how  he  could  be  out  of  it," 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  179 

retorted  Mr.  Gribble,  "but  I  contend  I  am 
not  out  of  order,  for  if  such  confounded  waste 
as  that"  — 

"  Order,  order,"  shouted  three  or  four  at 
once,  "  there  is  no  motion  before  the  board!  " 

"  If  a  speedy  motion  is  desirable  to  prevent 
disorder,"  interposed  Dr.  Flabotham,  "  I  will 
move  that  in  all  future  operations  of  our  body, 
waste  paper  be  substituted  for  parchment." 

"  Chair  !  chair  !  no  professional  allusions, 
Doctor !  " 

"Dr.  Flabotham,  it  is  my  duty  to  say  "  — 

"  I  scorn  all  professional  allusions,"  inter- 
rupted the  Doctor,  "  I  merely  wish  to  purge 
this  board  of  the  disorder  that  is  always  pre- 
dicated by  the  want  of  motion." 

"Motion  or  no  motion,  lam  in  possession 
of  the  chair;  "  again  began  Mr.  Gribble. 

"  I  think  you  have  no  occasion  for  it,  and 
should  be  kicked  out  of  it,"  interposed  the 
plain-speaking  Mr.  Lounch. 

The  activity  of  the  hammer  here  became 
terrific ;  the  entreaties  of  the  chairman  assumed 
a  tone  almost  of  rebuke;  not  an  ear  heard  him, 
however,  for  not  a  tongue  was  silent,  and  re- 
monstrance was  in  vain. 


180  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  Kicked,  did  you  say,  Sir  ?  did  you  say 
kicked?" 

"  And  a  motion  before  the  chair  !  " 

"  But  not  seconded." 

"  The  chairman  was  going  to  explain  when 
dribble  interrupted." 

"  I  move  that  the  words  be  taken  down." 

"  I  second  that  motion." 

"  Impossible;  it  is  contrary  to  all  rule:  you 
must  move  an  amendment." 

"I  appeal  to  the  chairman." 

"  Gentlemen,  gentlemen,  it  is  impossible  to 
keep  order,  unless  "  — 

"  I  again  ask,  did  you  say  kicked,  Sir?" 

"  Address  yourself  to  the  chair,  Mr.  Gribble, 
these  personal  applications  "  — 

"  He  did  not  kick  me,  Sir  !  What  do  you 
mean  to  insinuate  by  personal  applications  ?  " 

"I  vote  that  this  meeting  do  adjourn  !  " 

"  What,  without  doing  business?  " 

"  It  is  you  have  interrupted  it,  Lounch ! " 

"I  did  not;  Gribble  said  he  had  taken  the 
chair,  when  I  am  sure  he  did  not  want  it  " 

And  so  the  tumultuous  chorus  was  sustained, 
till  exhaustion  silenced  the  maj  ority  ;  when  the 
chairman  availed  himself  of  a  momentary  pause 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  181 

to  ask  the  question,  how  it  all  began  ?  This 
was  a  signal  for  re -commencing  the  row. 

"It  was  Mr.  Gribble  who"  — 

"  Dr.  Flabotham  moved  that "  — 

"  Lounch  wanted  to  kick  "  — 

"  'Tis  one  o'cloek,  gentlemen,  and  I  must  be 
off  to  the  Phoenix,"  exclaimed  Lounch,  in  a 
resolute  but  quiet  tone,  that  induced  several  to 
follow  his  example,  and  take  their  hats  ;  peace 
was  now  restored ;  a  quasi  apology  exchanged 
between  the  most  obstreperous,  who  resumed 
their  seats,  and  to  seal  the  general  reconcilia- 
tion, the  chairman  gravely  proposed  that  Mr. 
Sharpe's  opinion  should  be  requested  on  the 
point  in  dispute.  To  this  an  immediate  assent 
was  given,  and  I  was  summoned  from  the 
adjoining  room,  to  which  I  had  retreated  when 
matters  were  becoming  serious. 

"  Mr.  Sharpe,"  the  chairman  blandly  began, 
"  the  Board  wish  for  your  opinion  on  the  subject 
that  has  excited  so  much  unpleasant  discussion  : 
will  you  have  the  goodness  to  favor  us  with  it?" 

"  May  I  ask  what  the  question  is,  Sir?  " 

"  Perhaps  you  will  explain  it,  Mr.  Gribble," 
said  the  chairman,  prudently  evading  the  very 
difficult  task. 


182  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   AT1CENEY 

"  The  question  is,  Mr.  Sharpe,  what's  the  use 
of  all  that  heap  of  parchment  yonder,  except  to 
swell  your  bill  of  costs  ?  can  you  tell  me  that,  Sir  ?" 

"  I  beg  pardon,"  interposed  Lounch,  "  that 
was  not  the  question  at  all." 

"  Then  perhaps  you  will  explain  what  was,  as 
you  understand  it  so  well,"  rejoined  Gribble. 

"  The  question  was  about  the  Doctor's 
motion." 

"  'Twas  no  such  thing;  'twas  a  point  of  order," 
observed  the  Doctor. 

"There  you're  quite  out;  for  the  chair  de- 
cided it  against  you." 

"  I  decided  nothing,  gentlemen,  but  as  Mr. 
Sharpe  cannot  answer  the  question  till  he  hears 
it,  I  beg  to  propose  that  it  shall  be  written 
down." 

"  A  good  thought  that,"  observed  a  humorous 
man,  about  fifty,  who  had  been  the  only  peace- 
able one  in  the  party ;  "I  move  that  every  man 
shall  write  his  question  down." 

The  hint  was  promptly  taken;  everybody 
seized  a  pen,  and  in  five  minutes  I  was  favored 
with  as  many  questions  as  there  were  directors, 
that  is  to  say,  exactly  fifteen ;  and  the  best  of  it 
was  that  no  two  were  at  all  alike.     I  read  them 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  183 

all  with  becoming  gravity,  but  to  answer  half 
or  even  a  tenth  of  them  was  impossible.  I  ex- 
tricated myself  from  the  difficulty  without  much 
trouble. 

"  Gentlemen,  I  can  easily  remove  all  your 
doubts,  but  it  will  be  at  considerable  expense." 

"  Costs  again  !  Sharpe  never  thinks  of  any- 
thing but  costs  !  "  observed  Gribble. 

"Yes,  Sir,  the  costs  will  be  very  heavy  indeed, 
and  that  is  my  reason  for  hesitating." 

"  Why,  can't  you  open  your  mouth  but  we 
must  pay  for  it  ?  " 

"  Precisely  so,  Sir !  you  have  asked  me  fifteen 
questions,  and  at  six-and-eightpence  each  the 
answers  will  be  exactly  five  pounds  !  " 

My  quiet  friend,  who  had  been  looking  over 
some  of  the  papers  simultaneously  with  myself, 
observed  that  they  would  not  get  off"  so  cheaply, 
for  at  least  two -thirds  of  them  required  the 
opinion  of  counsel !  It  was  finally  determined 
that  I  should  select  for  myself  such  as  most 
obviously  required  an  answer,  when,  like  a  fool, 
I  replied,  "there  was  but  one;"  and  thereby 
deeply  offended  the  self-complacency  of  four- 
teen -  fifteenths  of  my  collective  client !  "  Which 
is  it?"  was  eagerly  asked  on  every  side,  each 


184  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

man  expecting  the  honor  of  being  deemed  the 
most  intelligible,  it'  not  the  most  sagacious. 

"It  is  Mr.  Lonnch's  —  'What  is  to  be  done 
.with  the  deed  ?'  " 

I  had  no  time  allowed  me  however,  to  answer 
it,  or  probably  they  thought  six-and-cightpence 
too  high  a  price,  for  the  hubbub  immediately 
recommenced. 

"  I  move  that  it  be  taken  to  the  bankers." 
"  I  move  an  amendment,  that  it  be  deposited 
in  our  own  safe." 

"  I  propose  that  it  shall  be  left  in  the  solicitor's 
charge." 

"  The  trustees  should  have  the  custody  of  it!  " 
"  It  more  properly  belongs  to  the  chair  !  " 
"  Let  it  be  sold  to  the  tailor  for  measures," 
moved  Gribble,  "we  shall  at  least  save  some- 
thing by  that." 

And  motion  followed  motion,  and  amend- 
ment supplanted  amendment,  till  the  quiet  man 
of  fifty  at  length  put  an  end  to  the  disturbance 
by  suggesting  an  inquiry  of  the  deed  itself, 
which  of  course  provided  properly  for  all  such 
treasures.  The  board,  glad  to  be  relieved,  then 
determined  its  sitting;  but  its  absurdities  were 
co -existent  with  its  term  of  collective  life. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  185 

Let  not  my  readers  suppose  that  this  is  a 
mere  sketch  of  fancy,  got  up  in  the  same  spirit 
of  exaggerated  representation  in  which  we  rind 
all  the  scenes  of  bubble  companies  delineated 
by  the  humorists  of  the  day  ;  I  have  varied 
names  a  little  to  avoid  being  charged  with  libel, 
but  I  have  studiouslv  refrained  from  overcharge 
ing  the  facts,  or  it  would  have  been  easy  to  have 
added  much  ridicule  to  this  description ;  I  doubt 
not  but  many  will  be  able  to  draw  a  parallel 
from  their  own  experience:  were  I  not  afraid 
of  identifying  the  actors,  I  could  multiply 
tenfold  such  scenes  from  real  life.  I  will  ven- 
ture to  give  one  more,  because  coupled  with 
the  last,  it  conveys  a  useful  hint  to  the  young- 
attorney  as  to  his  behavior  in  such  dignified 
presence. 

The  eligibility  of  a  further  investment  in  the 
purchase  of  a  contiguous  property  had  been  the 
subject  of  discussion ;  the  case  scarcely  admitted 
of  a  doubt,  if  the  speculation  was  to  proceed  at 
all,  but  where  a  dozen  individuals  are  to  decide 
<m  any  question,  though  as  clear  as  the  sun  at 
noon -day,  there  will  assuredly  be  a  dozen  doubts 
suggested,  and  a  dozen  speeches  of  irresistible 
force  and  point,  not  one  of  which  has  any  obvi- 


186      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

ous  bearing  on  the  subject.  A  great  deal  of 
this  kind  of  oratory  had  been  already  expended, 
when  I  was  called  in  to  advise  my  hydra-headed 
client.  The  usual  ivory -hammer  preliminaries 
being  settled,  I  was  addressed  by  the  chairman 
with  unwonted  solemnity,  the  spirit  of  contra- 
diction and  interruption  having  been  laid  by 
exorcisms  of  unusual  power. 

"  Take  a  chair,  Mr.  Sharpe :  draw  nearer  if 
you  please,  Sir;  I  am  rather  hoarse  to-day." 

"  A  little  this  way,  if  you  please,  Sir,"  begged 
a  venerable  gentleman,  who  always  pleaded  deaf- 
ness for  density  of  understanding;  "I  am  anxi- 
ous to  hear  you." 

"Do  come  forward,  Sir;"  tartly  interposed 
Mr.  Gribble,  "  I  have  several  questions  to  put 
to  you;"  and  at  length,  having  adjusted  my  place 
and  my  chair  to  the  seeming  satisfaction  of  all 
parties,  the  chairman  proceeded. 

"  The  board  has  been  occupied  for  an  hour, 
Mr.  Sharpe,"  — 

"  An  hour  and  three-quarters  by  my  watch," 
interrupted  Mr.  Lounch. 

"  Well,  Lounch,  it  don't  matter;  the  board 
has  been  engaged  for  a  long  time,  Sir," — 

"  Too  long  by  half,"  exclaimed  Gribble,  who 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  187 

I  found  had  been  the  chief  talker  for  the  whole 
sitting. 

"  Mr.  Gribble,  I  must  entreat  silence ;  the 
board,  Mr.  Sharpe,  has  been  considering  whether 
it  should  avail  itself  of  an  unexpected  oppor- 
tunity"— 

"A  new  symptom,"  observed  Dr.  Flaboth- 
am. 

"  Really,  Doctor,  I  must  appeal  to  the  board, 
if  I  am  thus  interrupted  —  really" — "Chair, 
chair,"  resounded  from  every  quarter.  "  I  am 
paralyzed,"  said  the  Doctor,  and  the  chairman 
resumed  with  graceful  perturbation  : 

"  I  am  extremely  sorry,  gentlemen,  to  com- 
plain of  any  disregard  to  my  authority,  as 
chairman,  but  the  delicate  and  very  important 
duty  I  have  to  discharge,  while  I  have  the  dis- 
tinguished honor  of  filling  this  chair" — here 
his  voice  was  drowned  in  loud  and  reiterated 
cries  of  hear  !  hear !  that  overpowered  his  mod- 
esty while  they  appeased  his  transient  dis- 
pleasure, and  at  length  in  a  tone  of  elevated 
dignity,  he  pursued  his  address  to  me. 

"  You  will  have  gathered  from  what  I  have 
already  said,  Mr.  Sharpe,  that  this  is  a  cpuestion 
of  very  complicated  and  difficult  character,  and 


188  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

the  board  is  desirous,  indeed  I  may  say  anxious, 
to  hear  your  sentiments  upon  it. 

Here  he  paused  and  looked  steadily  at  me.  I 
returned  the  look  in  expecting  silence;  his  com- 
peers, one  and  all,  assumed  an  attitude  of  fixed 
attention ;  and  for  the  first  time  that  I  had  ever 
assisted  in  their  consultation,  a  pin  might  have 
been  heard  to  drop. 

"Well,  Mr.  Sharpe,  what  is  your  opinion?" 

"  What  do  you  say  to  it,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?  what 
will  the  costs  be?"  added  Gribble ;  while  five 
or  six  more  chimed  in  with  similar  interroga- 
tions. It  was  a  painful  position ;  for  neither 
case  nor  question  had  yet  been  stated,  nor  the 
most  distant  hint  given  except  by  Gribble's  in- 
quiry about  the  costs,  as  to  the  matter  of  their 
two  hours'  debate :  it  was  clear  however,  that 
every  man  at  the  table  considered  that  I  had 
been  furnished  with  ample  materials  to  form  my 
expected  judgment.  I  had  no  alternative  but 
to  confess  my  dullness. 

"  Not  having  heard  your  previous  discussion, 
I  do  not  quite  catch  the  point,  Mr.  Chairman.'' 

"  That  is  very  extraordinary,  Sir;  I  thought 
I  had  expressed  myself  clearly  ;  but  I  will  repeat 
my    explanation.       We   have  been    offered  the 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  189 

property  of ,  which  you  are  aware,  abuts 

on  our  principal  mine,  at  a  price  which  all  things 
considered,  is  above  the  mark  certainly — " 

"  By  £2,800,"  observed  Mr.  Lounch. 

"  There  you  are  quite  out,"  said  Gribble,  "by 
at  least  £10,000,  if  you  leave  out  the  costs; 
and  they  will  probably  be  £10,000  more." 

"  I  avail  myself  of  this  opportunity  for  to 
give  notice  that  next  board -day  I  shall  move 
that  all  costs  sent  in  by  Mr.  Sharpe,  be  taxed 
in  the  usual  manner,"  said  a  Mr.  Sniggle,  a 
vinegar  -  faeed,  elderly  gentleman,  who  had 
acquired  a  large  fortune  during  the  war,  by 
certain  practices  in  a  foreign  port,  that  com- 
bined much  of  the  character  of  smuggling  and 
treasonable  aid  to  an  enemy  in  open  hostilities. 

"  I  have  long  entertained  the  same  purpose 
myself,  Sniggle ;  and  I  am  prepared  with  some 
very  laborious  calculations  to  prove  that  Mr. 
iSharpe's  bills  have  hitherto  been  a  charge  of 
one  shilling  and  three  half- pence  per  cent.,  on 
every  investment,  besides  coals  and  candles  for 
his  office,  which  I  move  be  no  longer  allowed!" 

"  Did  you  take  in  the  cart-load  of  sheepskin, 
Pinchpenny  ? " 

"  Gentlemen,   we    are    digressing    from   the 


190  AD  VENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

point :  I  must  call  you  to  order.  I  believe, 
Mr.  Sharpe,  you  now  comprehend  very  clearly 
the  difficulty  we  feel,  and  we  shall  be  obliged 
to  you  to  state  your  sentiments." 

But  this  same  digression  about  costs  had  by 
no  means  tended  to  clarify  my  bewildered 
thoughts,  though  the  acrimonious  and  even 
spiteful  tone  of  it,  served  to  show  the  character 
of  their  recent  controversy. 

"I  am  somewhat  doubtful,  Sir,  — "  but  I 
Avas  not  permitted  to  finish  the  sentence,  half  a 
dozen  pitching  into  me  at  once,  with  vindictive 
pleasure. 

"  You  doubtful,  Mr.  Sharpe !  why  you  voted 
us  all  fools  the  other  day,  because  you  could 
not  understand  our  questions  ! " 

"  Ay :  there  was  only  one,  you  thought,  that 
required  an  answer." 

"  Some  people  are  so  wise  that  they  never  see 
anybody's  meaning  but  their  own." 

"  If  it  were  a  long  bill,  Sharpe,  you'd  under- 
stand it  fast  enough." 

And  many  such  kind  speeches  uttered  with 
every  variety  of  intonation,  but  each  partaking 
largely  of  the  bark  malicious,  not  only  gave 
me    time    to    think,   but    unluckily    to    grow 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  191 

warm.  Alas !  it  is  very  difficult  for  youth  to 
submit  to  unmerited  reproach,  and  that  too 
from  illiberal  and  ignorant  lips;  but  I  have 
often  been  taught  the  lesson  since. 

"  I  see  your  difficulty,  gentlemen.  You 
want  to  buy  the  property,  but  not  to  pay  the 
costs  !  I  am  the  last  man  to  consult  on  such  a 
point,  so  I  beg  leave  to  withdraw." 

I  did  withdraw:  for  I  had  good  reason  to 
complain.  I  had  never  yet  delivered  them  a 
full  bill,  as  we  technically  call  it;  yet  mod- 
erate as  my  charges  were,  they  were  never  paid 
without  grudging  scrutiny  and  penurious  hesi- 
tation. It  seemed  apparent  to  me  that  this 
very  interview  had  been  sought  to  make  a  dead 
set  at  me  about  costs,  from  vindictive  resent- 
ment at  my  ill-timed  pleasantry  in  the  pre- 
ceding week,  and  I  could  scarcely  conceal  the 
disgust  and  indignation  that  I  felt.  I  was 
visited  next  day  with  a  vote  of  censure,  and  a 
menace  of  dismission,  but  it  was  vox  et  prceterea 
nihil;  for  in  less  than  a  month  the  company 
was  dissolved,  when  every  man  among  them 
came  to  me,  privately,  to  complain  of  the 
grasping  and  selfish  spirit  of  his  coadjutors, 
and  to  consult  me  how  he  might  most  securely 


192  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

protect  himself  from  contribution  to  the  gen- 
eral loss  ?  I  spontaneously  relinquished  my 
claim  for  all  the  costs  of  the  society's  forma- 
tion, and  pocketed  but  seventy  pounds  by  all 
its  operations ;  yet  the  failure  sprung  from  no 
fault  of  mine,  nor  yet  of  the  projector,  nor 
even  from  any  inherent  defect  in  the  project 
itself;  but  from  the  stock -jobbing  character  of 
my  worthy  directors,  who  thereby  forfeited  the 
confidence  of  the  shareholders,  and  of  course- 
could  not  raise  the  funds  necessary  to  complete 
their  contracts. 

It  is  of  very  little  consequence  what  may  be 
the  outward  and  visible  form  of  your  "  collective 
client."  A  parish  vestry,  or  a  corporation 
court,  or  any  other  body  of  associated  wisdom, 
is  equally  tyrannical,  illiberal,  and  absurd  in 
all  its  official  proceedings,  except  in  those  eases 
where  such  assemblies  are  compelled  to  act 
under  the  check  of  publicity,  and  exposed  by 
the  press  to  the  constant  observation  of  their 
constituents.  Quickness,  both  of  eye  and  ear, 
good -temper,  calm  self-possession,  and  caution 
bordering  on  reserve,  are  the  only  qualities  by 
which  their  legal  adviser  can  hope  to  gain  their 
confidence,  or  apply   his  influence  successfully 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  193 

to  manage  them.  He  will  not  be  the  less  a 
fool  however,  if  he  attempt  to  propitiate  such 
clients  liy  any  spontaneous  deduction  from  his 
legitimate  charges.  Such  deductions  are  con- 
sidered, not  as  liberal  and  gratuitous  conces- 
sions, but  as  admissions  of  the  justice  of  com- 
plaint, and  of  course  as  apologies  for  future 
and  more  rigorous  taxation.  I  have  already 
dwelt  on  the  general  subject  of  costs ;  I  content 
myself  with  adding  that  the  remark  which  I 
have  before  made  is  peculiarly  applicable  to 
-collective  clients;"  that  there  is  no  inter- 
mediate course  between  charging  every  penny 
to  which  you  are  reasonably  entitled,  or  charg- 
ing nothing:  no  credit  whatever  is  obtained  by 
a  compromise. 

A  principle  of  equal  importance  in  every 
collision  with  clients  of  this  class  is  to  avoid 
all  struggle  on  the  question  of  power.  It  re- 
quires much  self-command  to  practice  this 
forbearance,  I  admit,  for  the  frivolous  rules 
continually  introduced,  and  vexatiously  en- 
forced by  small-minded  masters,  often  try  the 
temper  most  seriously.  One  man  wants  busi- 
ness to  be  done  in  this  way,  and  another  in  that ; 
Mr.  Brown  suggests  a  daily  report  of  progress, 


194  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

and  Mr.  Smith  never  wants  a  report  at  all;  nay, 
in  matters  too  trivial  for  even  a  passing  sugges- 
tion, the  same  meddling  interference  is  eternally 
exhibited.     I  have  known  two  hours  spent  in 
solemn  discussion  whether  official  letters  should 
be  written  on  note  paper  or  foolscap.     I  have 
heard  a  debate  adjourned  from  week  to  week 
for  a  month  together,  on  the  mighty  question, 
whether  the  secretary  should  sit  on  the  chair- 
man's right  hand  or  his  left !  at  the  same  board 
or    at  a  separate   table!!!    and   times  out   of 
number  have  I  been  required  to  prepare  sche- 
dules, vouch  for  copies,  or  check  calculations 
wholly   foreign  to  my  duties,   and  for  which 
costs  have  been  refused;  and  yet  so  far  from 
thinking  they  asked  a  favor  in  thus  murdering 
my    professional   time,    the   instructions    have 
been  issued  in  the  high  mandatory  tone  of  "  an 
order  of  the  board  ! ! !  "  but  petty  annoyances 
like  these  must  be  borne  with  calm  philosophy. 
Cases  may  arise  where  this  official  tyranny  is 
carried  to  the  extent  of  insult,  alike  destructive 
of  personal  comfort  and  professional  respecta- 
bility ;    and  in  such  cases,    when  personal  re- 
sponsibility   attaches   to    no    individual,    firm 
remonstrance  becomes  a  duty.     Here,  however, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  195 

the  attorney  must  be  particularly  on  liis  guard ; 
the  only  court  of  appeal  is  the  body  of  share- 
holders, with  whom  the  directors  must  be 
presumed  to  have  paramount  influence;  to 
avoid  the  hazard  of  an  open  conflict  with  the 
shareholders,  or  to  guard  against  the  mischief 
of  it,  if  it  proves  inevitable,  it  will  be  prudent 
to  reduce  remonstrance  to  writing,  and  to  em- 
body in  it  every  substantial  ground  of  com- 
plaint :  this,  if  done  pointedly,  yet  temperately, 
will  prove  an  indictment  on  which,  even  in  the 
pride  of  power,  few  directors  will  like  to  be 
arraigned;  but  like  all  well -drawn  indictments, 
it  must  be  clear,  certain,  and  precise;  for  no 
public  assembly  will  listen  to  or  understand 
voluminous  statements ;  a  man  is  ruined  who 
seeks  justice  from  a  jury,  whether  of  twelve  or 
twelve  hundred,  through  a  mass  of  complicated 
detail.  But  precautions  like  these,  though  by 
possibility  they  may  be  required,  and  therefore 
it  is  my  duty  to  mention  them,  can  only  be 
necessary  in  extreme  cases.  With  "  collective 
clients,"  as  with  individuals,  long  experience 
of  a  man's  value  will  secure  his  just  influence, 
and  though  associated  bodies  are  rarely 
manageable,  and  too  often   irrational  in  their 


V)6  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

proceedings,  I  have  loug  been  connected  with 
many  not  less  liberal  and  indulgent,  than  the}7 
are  turbulent  and  troublesome.  The  "  kanc 
veniam  peti 'masque  damusque  vicissim,"  is  a  prin- 
ciple that  long  acquaintance,  where  it  generates 
mutual  esteem,  as  it  always  will  do  among 
honorable  men,  will  assuredly  introduce  into 
the  daily  transactions  of  business,  till  pardon 
becomes  unnecessary,  because  provocation  is 
never  given. 

As  there  are  sundry  little  artifices  in  every 
trade,  by  which  its  manipular  operations  are 
facilitated,  so  there  are  some  rules  that  we  may 
almost  term  mechanical,  by  which  we  may 
conveniently  govern  our  intercourse  with 
"  collective  clients."  It  is  very  easy  to  lay 
down  general  moral  principles  of  self-com- 
mand, patience,  good -humor,  and  so  forth, 
and  the  scenes  that  I  have  been  describing 
explain,  to  a  certain  extent,  how  to  reduce 
these  principles  to  practice ;  but  I  may  usefully 
mention  a  few  maxims  that  do  not  so  readily 
present  themselves  to  beginners.  Young  law- 
yers always  labor  under  a  false  impression,  as 
to  the  degree  of  weight  attached  to  their 
opinion,  even,  on  such  legal  points  as  they  are 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  197 

-  j 

expressly  invited  to  explain  :  they  consequently 
assume  a  high  position  at  the  very  common  ce- 
ment of  the  conference;  "lay  down  the  law," 
as  it  is  called,  in  a  dogmatical  manner;  give 
the  go-hy  to  any  question  of  which  they  do 
not  immediately  perceive  the  drift ;  and  answer 
others  precipitately  and  decidedly,  under  the 
impression  that  any  hesitation  will  be  ascribed 
to  ignorance,  while  any  error  they  may  commit 
will  pass  unheeded  by  men  avowedly  ignorant 
of  law.  A  certain  measure  of  self-confidence 
is  unquestionably  necessary  to  give  confidence 
to  others;  but  if  this  axiom  is  carried  too  far, 
it  is  highly  impolitic  in  a  large  and  mixed 
circle,  where  some  one  or  other  is  almost 
certain  to  be  found  who  can  justly  discriminate 
between  the  self-confidence  of  knowledge,  and 
the  assurance  of  mock  experience.  The  man 
gifted  with  this  discrimination  is  usually  the 
man  of  most  influence,  though  silently  exerted; 
and  if  he  imbibes  an  unfavorable  opinion  of 
the  solicitor,  that  opinion  will  of  course  work 
to  his  serious  prejudice  in  the  long  run.  Hence 
my  first  counsel  to  the  beginner  is  to  allow  full 
scope  to  all  the  eagerness  of  debate  and  appeal, 
before  he  interposes  a  word  of  advice  ;  to  listen 


198  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

cautiously  and  closely  to  every  question  and 
every  remark,  relevant  or  irrelevant,  proceed 
from  whom  it  may  ;  and  especially  to  be  on 
the  watch  to  discover  on  which  side  the  most 
quiet  and  most  acknowledged  members  of  tin- 
board  have  ranged  themselves.  Akin  to  this 
suggestion,  is  another  not  less  applicable  to 
single  clients,  than  it  is  to  an  assembled  body 
of  them,  —  to  evade  all  reply  till  every  essential 
point  has  been  clearly  explained,  and  every 
written  document  to  which  allusion  may  have 
been  made,  is  fairly  before  him.  I  have  often 
been  reduced  to  the  unpleasant  necessity  of  re- 
tracting, or  at  least  qualifying  and  softening 
down  an  expressed  opinion,  because  I  have  after- 
wards found  that  not  one  half  of  the  important 
facts;  had  been  communicated  to  me.  Clients 
rarely  appreciate  as  they  deserve,  minor  and 
collateral  circumstances;  though  it  often  hap- 
pens that  on  these  it  altogether  depends, 
whether  their  case  can  be  distinguished  from 
one  already  decided,  or  be  made  an  exception 
to  an  established  principle  of  law.  With  two 
cautions  of  yet  higher  practical  importance.  I 
will  take  my  leave  of  the  subject  of  "  collective 
clients."     Never  allow  yourself  to  be  hurried 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  199 

into  an  answer  to  any  serious  question,  till  it  is 
reduced  to  writing :  and  be  equally  careful  to 
observe  tbe  same  ceremony  with  your  opinion. 
Quod  scriptum  remand,  is  a  motto  that  should 
be  inscribed  over  every  office -door.  It  is  as 
protective  to  the  honest  man,  as  it  is  incon- 
venient to  the  knave. 

It  will  occur  at  times,  especially  after  any 
warm  and  protracted  discussion,  that  having 
given  your  opinion  on  the  point  at  issue,  one 
or  two  of  the  party  will  straggle  afterwards 
into  your  office,  ostensibly  to  talk  over  the 
subject,  but  in  reality  to  give  vent  to  irritation 
against  one  or  more  of  their  noisv  colleagues. 
This  opportunity  of  earwigging  the  board  is 
tempting,  when  in  its  confusion  you  have  been 
unable  to  obtain  proper  attention,  or  have  suf- 
fered from  its  collective  injustice;  but  it  must 
be  avoided  It  is  inconceivable  to  what  extent 
the  several  members  of  such  republican  gov- 
ernments are  jealous  of  each  other.  A  private 
interview,  or  an  ex  parte  discussion  with  the 
solicitor,  is  invariably  regarded  as  the  signal 
for  general  disturbance.  In  the  row  that  fol- 
lows, the  officer  is  sacrificed  as  a  peace-offering 
to  restore  the  harmony  of  the  board,  and  all 


200  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

the  misunderstanding  is  emphatically  ascribed 

to  his  underhand  manoeuvres.  It  cannot  be 
too  strongly  laid  down  that  perfect  openness, 
and  straight -forward  dealing,  essential  as  they 
are  to  the  peace  as  well  as  the  respectability  of 
all  men,  are  indispensable  to  the  very  existence, 
in  an  official  sense,  of  the  attorney  of  "  col- 
lective clients." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  201 


CHAPTER   XIV. 

"  Masters,  it  is  proved  already  that  you  are  little  better  than  false 
knaves:  it  will  go  near  to  be  thought  so  shortly." 

Much  Ado  aboct  Nothing. 

By  the  time  I  bad  acquired  the  experimental 
knowledge  which  I  have  here  endeavored  to 
impart,  I  found  myself  pretty  well  versed  in 
the  art  of  clientizing;  hut  clients  are  by  no 
means  the  only  people  an  attorney  has  to  deal 
with  !  in  truth,  our  only  object  with  them  is  to 
keep  them ;  but  there  are  other  folks  of  whom 
we  are  only  anxious  to  get  quit,  as  soon  as 
business  will  allow  us ;  these  are  our  profes- 
sional brethren  !  I  need  scarcely  observe  that 
I  write  only  for  such  young  men  as  are  enter- 
ing on  their  legal  career  with  the  honest  and 
commendable  intention  of  acquiring  a  station 
in  the  respectable  class  of  the  profession ;  a 
station  that  can  only  be  acquired  by  respectable 

business,  carried  on  in  a  respectable;  manner. 
9* 


202  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

There  is  no  term,  however,  in  use  in  our  pro- 
fession, so  general  and  yet  so  equivocal  as  this 
same  word  "  respectable."  By  a  sort  of  con- 
ventional rule,  the  appellation  is  liberally 
bestowed  on  every  attorney,  of  whatever  class 
and  however  moderate  his  pretensions,  so  long- 
as  he  has,  whether  by  ingenuity  or  good  luck, 
contrived  to  escape  a  hostile  motion  to  strike 
him  off  the  roll.  My  construction  of  the  word 
is  somewhat  more  rigorous;  I  will  explain 
myself  by  negatives — by  describing  that  class 
of  business,  and  those  men  who,  in  my  estima- 
tion, are  decidedly  not  respectable.  I  am 
happy  to  say  that  in  this  portion  of  my  task  I 
speak  from  report,  not  from  personal  knowl- 
edge, but  I  will  only  mention  such  matters  as  I 
lirmly  believe  have  been  given  to  me  on  good 
authority. 

Before  I  describe  the  non- respectable  of  our 
body,  it  may  be  expedient  to  advert  very  briefly 
to  our  relative  position  in  society,  as  a  profes- 
sional class;  for  without  a  little  explanation  on 
that  head,  it  is  very  difficult  to  conceive  how 
such  a  medley  of  extremes  should  be  found  in 
a  common  pursuit,  where  a  common  system  of 
education  is  adopted,  from  an  age  generally  so 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  203 

early  that  the  taste  and  habits  of  the  pupil  can 
not  be  supposed  to  have  been  previously 
formed.  It  must  be  confessed  that  till  within 
the  last  forty  or  fifty  years,  an  attorney's  title 
to  be  ranked  even  among  the  middle  classes  ol 
society,  was  very  equivocal.  Mr.  Latitat  was 
the  rogue  of  every  farce  —  the  knave  of  every 
novel:  his  occupation  made  him  adroit  and 
intelligent,  but  it  also  made  him  suspected;  it 
frequently  brought  him  into  personal  contact 
with  the  dishonest  and  degraded,  and  he 
acquired,  often  undeservedly,  a  taint  of  reputa- 
tion from  the  very  circumstance  that  enabled 
him  to  understand,  and  by  understanding  to 
defeat,  the  arts  and  stratagems  of  villainy. 
Legal  business  itself  was  at  this  period  of  a 
very  inferior  stamp  :  now  and  then  cases  might 
arise  on  family  settlements  —  on  real  titles  —  on 
complicated  relations  of  debtor  and  creditor  — 
or  doubtful  customs  in  trade  or  commerce; 
but  these  were  comparatively  rare,  and  by  no 
means  constituted  the  bulk  of  legal  practice; 
that  was  to  be  found  in  petty  personal  disputes 
or  delinquencies  —  in  small  controversy  between 
small  people.  Law  too,  like  everything  else, 
was    comparatively  cheap,  and  even    the   bar, 


204  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

though  always  to  a  certain  extent  the  resource 
of  pauper  -  aristocracy,  was  scarcely  regarded 
in  any  other  light  than  a  refuge  for  the  desti- 
tute, suited  to  the  youngest  sons  of  younger 
brothers,  who  had  no  turn  for  the  army,  and 
no  character  for  the  church.  In  our  days, 
though  this  inferior  business  still  remains,  and 
is  even  extended  as  population  has  extended, 
and  the  lower  classes  have  acquired  greater 
property,  yet  it  by  no  means  forms  the  prin- 
cipal inducement  to  enter  the  profession.  So 
intimately  has  commerce  become  interwoven 
with  law,  in  all  its  branches,  that  there  is 
scarcely  any  important  transaction  in  which 
the  merchant  can  engage,  that  does  not  more 
or  less  require  the  counsel  of  his  solicitor,  till 
long  familiarity  with  the  subject  has  made  him 
half  a  lawyer  himself.  The  law  of  insurance, 
the  law  of  principal  and  factor,  of  lien,  of 
partnership,  of  bankruptcy,  of  bills  of  ex- 
change, and  many  other  heads  that  might  be 
mentioned,  enter  into  the  daily  affairs  of  the 
counting-house.  So  many,  too,  of  our  patri- 
cian families  have  of  late  years  found  it  con- 
venient to  place  their  sons  in  mercantile,  or 
Ranking   houses,    and    consequently    to    raise 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  20S 

capital  by  the  mortgage  or  sale  of  their  patri- 
monial estates,  that  questions  of  pure  convey- 
ancing often  become  entangled  with  commer- 
cial law;  and  the  nobleman,  not  less  than  the 
merchant,  is  thrown  more  frequently  and  more 
entirely  into  the  hands  of  his  attorney.  The 
immense  increase  of  public  companies  and 
parliamentary  business,  and  even  the  growing- 
importance  and  independence  of  our  colonies, 
have  largely  contributed  to  swell  the  stream  of 
professional  profit,  and  at  the  same  time  to 
purify  its  source,  by  giving  a  legitimate  and 
acknowledged  value  to  the  solicitor's  services. 
This  gradual  elevation  of  our  duties  has  natur- 
ally led  to  the  introduction  among  us  of  many 
young  men  from  that  rank  of  life,  who,  less 
than  half  a  century  ago,  would  have  spurned 
the  calling  as  derogatory  to  their  birth ;  and 
attorneys  in  the  higher  walks  of  the  profession, 
have  in  many  instances,  established  for  them- 
selves an  acknowledged  title  to  rank  with  the 
first  circles ;  though  I  do  not  say  the  most 
fashionable,  for  I  by  no  means  class  these 
among  the  most  worthy,  or  the  most  import- 
ant ;  but  though  by  this  accession  of  better 
born,  and  therefore  generally    better  educated 


206  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

men,  we  have  improved  our  social  position, 
and  can  now  enumerate  hundreds  among  us, 
who  are  not  less  gentlemen  by  birth,  by  feeling, 
and  by  manners,  than  we  are  by  act  of  parlia- 
ment, there  still  remains  too  much  of  that  low 
business  which  was  once  the  staple  of  oui 
trade,  not  to  attract  many  low  people  into  the 
profession  ;  the  rather  because  if  once  admitted 
there,  the  best  prizes  are  as  open  to  them  as  to 
others,  if  by  happy  accident  they  can  insinu- 
ate themselves  into  the  first  or  second  class  of 
competition  :  indeed  to  be  an  attorney  is  itself 
a  great  step  in  life,  a  sort  of  gentility  of  station, 
in  the  estimate  of  the  lower  ranks  of  shopkeep- 
ers and  mechanics;  nor  does  it  require  any 
great  outlay  of  money  to  give  a  son  a  title  to 
the  name,  provided  no  lavish  expenditure  has 
been  made  in  his  previous  education.  Let  it 
not  be  supposed  that  I  feel  contempt  for  this 
laudable  and  even  humble  ambition;  far  from 
it,  for  I  profess  principles  too  liberal,  as  well  in 
politics  as  I  trust  in  Christian  faith,  to  deride 
it;  but  I  still  think  myself  at  liberty  to  pro- 
test against  the  absurdity,  as  well  as  the  silly 
pretension  of  placing  a  boy  of  sixteen  in  an 
attorney's  office,  without  any  preparatory  edu- 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  207 

cation  beyond  the  Latin  grammar,  and  too 
often  less  than  that,  simply  to  qualify  him  to 
be  a  gentleman,  whilst  his  brothers  are  tinkers 
and  tailors,  and  his  father  a  Bow-street  runner 
or  sheriff's  officer. 

I  have  digressed  a  little,  however,  from  my 
subject.  I  only  wish  to  explain  how  it  hap- 
pens, that  in  a  profession  which  is  now  justly 
esteemed  a  liberal  one,  and  in  which  we  daily 
meet  with  men  well  qualified  to  adorn  any 
rank  of  life,  we  should  yet  more  frequently  fall 
in  with  others  whose  manners  would  exclude 
them  from  our  servants'  hall,  and  whose  char- 
acters would  compel  us  to  count  our  spoon?,  if 
by  any  accident  they  gained  admission  there. 
It  is  but  too  true  that  we  have  anions;  us  a 
large  body  of  adventurers,  who  have  little  edu- 
cation, less  principle,  and  neither  capital  nor 
connexion.  It  is  probable  that  iu  some  in- 
stances their  friends  have  selected  them  for 
attorneys,  because  they  have  early  exhibited  a 
predilection  for  that  speculative  inquiry  into 
the  rights  of  property,  which,  by  a  more  sum- 
mary process,  leads  those  who  have  no  relatives 
to  the  gallows 

There  are  various  ways  by  which  these  ad- 


208  ADVENTURES   OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

venturers  contrive  to  work  out  a  livelihood  in 
a  "  respectable  "  manner.  The  secret  of  their 
art  is  to  establish  a  familiar  acquaintance  with 
any  humble  class  where  the  ceremony  of  spe- 
cial introduction  is  of  small  account,  and  in 
the  words  of  the  play,  to  "  push  it  as  far  as  it 
will  go."  There  are  many  classes  of  this  de- 
scription daily  to  be  found  in  our  crowded 
metropolis ;  and  all  of  them,  either  from  their 
helpless  ignorance,  or  dishonest  pursuits,  stand 
in  daily  need  of  "  a  professional  adviser." 
Among  the  helpless,  may  be  enumerated  the 
thoughtless  sailor  just  returned  from  sea — the 
inferior  tradesman  trembling  on  the  verge  of 
bankruptcy  —  the  pigeon  who,  after  plucking, 
hesitates  between  reform  and  desperation  —  the 
ruined  spendthrift,  but  expectant  heir  —  and  yet 
more  frequently  the  beggared  gentleman  that 
prefers  enjoying  his  last  hundred  within  the 
prison -walls,  to  dividing  it  among  fifty  credi- 
tors at  the  rate  of  sixpence  in  the  pound.  The 
dishonest  class  is,  perhaps,  less  accessible,  but 
far  more  profitable :  it  consists  of  cent  per  cent 
money-lenders  and  annuity  -  mongers  ;  of  bro- 
kers who  will  discount  a  six  months'  bill  on 
the  security  of  a  watch  or  a  well -secured  post- 


IN    SEARCH   OF    PRACTICE.  209 

obit;  hell  -  proprietors  and  blacklegs  of  Regent 
street  and  St.  James's;  swindlers  of  the  turf; 
smugglers  by  profession  ;  "  fences  "  of  the  lanes 
and  alleys  of  the  town,  including  of  course  nine- 
tenths  of  the  pawn -brokers  and  dealers  in 
marine  stores ;  and  finally,  all  the  thieves  and 
pickpockets  in  the  bills  of  mortality. 

It  may  excite  a  little  wonder  among  the  un- 
initiated, how  any  attorney,  however  poor  or 
adventurous,  can  find  it  worth  while  to  seek  for 
clients  in  the  first  of  these  wretched  classes ; 
and  it  is  true  enough  that  if  on  first  acquaint- 
ance, he  finds  them  in  utter  destitution,  that 
acquaintance  will  be  but  a  short  one;  but 
even  among  the  poorest,  there  are  often  decent 
pickings  to  be  found.  A  glass  of  grog  with 
an  open-hearted  seaman  in  a  public- house  at 
Wapping  will  extract  the  whole  history  of  his 
hardships,  his  hopes,  and  his  disappointments 
for  the  last  ten  years  of  his  life;  his  tales  of 
sad  mishaps  will  win  the  heart  of  his  legal 
auditor,  as  surely  as  Desdemona's;  sympathy 
begets  confidence;  and  in  less  than  an  hour, 
the  sympathizing  friend  receives  instructions 
for  a  dozen  actions  against  captain,  mate,  and 
owners,  for  sundry  assaults,  and  false  imprison- 


210  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

ments,  and  a  long  arrear  of  unpaid  wages : 
witnesses  are  found  on  board  as  surely  as  if 
they  were  entered  in  the  ship's  manifest;  and 
as  one  good  turn  deserves  another,  the  plaintiff 
and  the  witnesses  frequently  change  places,  and 
endless  litigation  is  extracted  from  a  single 
glass  of  rum  and  water.  If  the  affair  is  com- 
promised by  ten  or  twenty  pounds,  paid  by  the 
defendant  to  get  out  of  the  scrape  in  the  short- 
est and  cheapest  way,  the  attorney  and  his 
client  go  shares  (the  first  taking  the  lion's  part), 
and  the  poor  sailor  recommends  his  kind  and 
disinterested  friend  to  half  the  merchant  service. 
A  dozen  of  such  adventures  —  and  his  fortune 
is  made !  So  in  the  other  cases,  the  tottering- 
shop-keeper  will  accept  bills  for  a  thousand,  to 
get  the  temporary  aid  of  fifty  pounds,  and 
pledge  all  his  last  year's  stock  as  security,  at  a 
tenth  of  the  cost -price:  a  fiat  of  bankruptcy 
speedily  follows ;  and  his  friend  in  need  is  the 
first  to  help  him  out  of  the  difficulty,  and 
insure  his  certificate  by  proving  for  the  thou- 
sand pounds :  the  plucked  pigeon  will  stake  his 
soul  for  one  more  chance  at  the  tables,  and  the 
legal  adventurer  would  sell  it  to  the  devil  for 
six -pence     beyond    the    sum    advanced:     the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  211 

ruined  spendthrift  is  equally  ready  to  charge 
his  reversion  at  five  hundred  per  cent,  pro- 
vided the  cash  is  immediately  forthcoming,  and 
gratefully  recommends  his  "  friends  "  to  every 
expectant  heir  in  her  Majesty's  household 
troops :  the  beggared  gentleman,  after  two 
weeks'  confinement,  speculates  on  being  dis- 
charged, and  having  perchance,  forty  pounds 
still  left,  gives  thirty  of  it  to  "his  lawyer"  to 
"  carry  him  through  "  the  court. 

But  the  dishonest  trade  is  a  better  thing  by 
far.  It  requires  some  dexterity  to  gain  a  locus 
standi  in  it :  a  man  must  not  be  too  nice,  and 
the  less  he  says  about  character  the  better ;  a 
little  hard,  but  clever  swearing  now  and  then, 
will  stand  him  in  good  stead ;  for  nothing  tells 
more  with  clients  of  this  class,  than  a  dexterity 
in  drawing  safe  affidavits.  Let  an  attorney 
once  "  get  his  name  up  "  for  this,  and  he  has 
bought  a  free  admission  for  life  into  the  whole 
fraternity;  and  then  there  are  indeed  glorious 
opportunities,  the  least  of  them  not  to  be  des- 
pised! —  suits  in  equity  to  set  aside  annuity 
transactions;  colorable  bills  of  sale,  to  defeat 
the  executions  of  just  creditors  ;  assigneeships  of 
bankrupt  estates  ;  gaming-house  prosecutions ; 


212  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

and,  "sweeter  far,"  their  compromise;  ex- 
chequer informations  and  qui  tarn  actions, — 
language  fails  to  enumerate  a  tenth  part  of  the 
prolific  sources  of  practice  to  the  happy  man 
who  once  secures  the  affections  of  the  charming 
set.  The  husiness  of  the  Old  Bailey  is  a  step 
lower,  but  even  here,  much  "  good  can  be 
done :  "  it  is  no  bad  thing  to  have  the  run  of 
Newgate,  and  be  cock  of  the  walk  at  Clerken- 
well  Sessions -house.  Independently  of  the 
sweets  of  the  police-office,  and  the  profitable 
eclat  of  daily  figuring  in  the  newspaper  reports, 
as  "  attending  to  watch  "  a  score  of  cases  in 
every  part  of  the  metropolis,  it  is  notorious  that 
when  a  thief  is  once  captured  in  a  "  lagging  " 
matter,  he  begins  to  set  his  affairs  in  order; 
and  many  of  these  fellows  are  "  well  off  in  the 
world,"  having  abundant  occasion  for  pro- 
fessional assistance  in  the  operation.  The 
special  advantage  of  all  business  of  this  des- 
cription is  the  certainty  of  payment ;  from  the 
nature  of  the  case,  there  can  be  no  trust,  and 
consequently  there  are  no  bills  of  costs ;  every 
thing  is  done  for  ready  money,  and  for  a  round 
sum  —  two  guineas,  ten,  twenty,  according  to 
the  emergency  and  the  client's  means;  and  if 


IN   SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  213 

the  client  is  hanged,   there  the   matter  ends, 
without  taxation  and  without  complaint. 

There  is  still  another  class  of  legal  adven- 
turers who  are  a  scale  higher  in  the  estimation 
of  the  world,  but  with  very  little  higher  merit; 
they  are  men  who  prowl  about  for  bad  debts, 
and  dishonored  bills:  they  call  on  tradesmen 
of  the  better  order  at  Midsummer  or  Christmas, 
as  punctually  as  the  tax-gatherers,  and  inquire 
the  extent  of  bad  and  doubtful  debts  in  then- 
ledger  :  they  buy  them  up  according  to  circum- 
stances, and  obtain  a  rich  harvest,  if  they  can 
purchase  five  or  six  hundred  pounds  due  from 
a  score  of  customers,  at  five  shillings  in  the 
pound;  twenty  actions  are  thus  secured,  and 
as  many  writs  issued  on  returning  to  office  ;  in 
half  they  recover  nothing  but  the  costs ;  if  in 
the  remaining  ten  they  can  manage  to  average 
ten  shillings  in  the  pound,  they  are  indem- 
nified for  the  purchase -money,  and  pocket  the 
costs  of  twenty  actions  by  the  adventure,  be- 
sides the  frequent  chance  of  being  incidentally 
introduced  to  some  half- ruined  man,  who 
wants  an  attorney's  aid  to  get  whitewashed  by 
bankruptcy,  or  the  insolvent  court. 

Thus  I  have  explained  the  character  of  those 


214  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

whom  I  exclude  from  the  "  respectable  "  class 
of  my  profession,  whatever  others  may  call 
them  ;  and  these  are  the  attorneys  of  whom  T 
always  feel  a  painful  anxiety  to  get  quit  as  soon 
as  decency  will  allow ;  but  some  address  is  re- 
quired to  manage  one's  intercourse  with  them, 
when  driven  by  necessity  into  communication. 
There  is  one  peculiarity  of  disposition  insepar- 
able from  such  fellows.  They  invariable  try  to 
snap  some  advantage  at  your  personal  cost, 
and  if  they  fail,  they  uniformly  pick  a  quarrel 
about  nothing ;  so  certainly  is  it  the  case,  that 
in  common  with  all  my  liberal  brethren,  I  am 
accustomed  to  infer  the  quality  of  a  man's 
clients  by  the  "  sharpness  "  of  his  practice,  as 
it  is  termed,  and  I  set  him  down  for  an  Old 
Bailey  attorney  as  a  matter  of  course,  if  I  find 
him  grasping  at  undue  advantage,  or  losing  his 
temper  in  the  attempt;  a  coarse,  bullying 
manner,  and  disingenuous  disposition,  may  be 
fairly  assumed  to  indicate  the  accustomed 
accociate  of  thieves  and  blacklegs ;  they  always 
do  with  me,  and  it  is  one  of  the  few  points  on 
which  I  have  never  found  myself  mistaken. 

There    are     three     important    rules    to    be 
observed  in   dealing  with  these  men,  and  by 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  215 

close  attention  to  them,  the  most  inexperienced 
solicitor  on  the  roll  may  escape  unscathed. 

The  first  is  never  to  be  seduced  into  any 
"without  prejudice"  negotiation;  always  keep 
them  at  arm's  length,  and  hold  strictly  to  the 
rights,  as  well  as  the  rules  of  business:  these 
sort  of  men  are  rarely  formidable  in  fair  open 
fight,  and  with  very  few  exceptions  are  as 
profoundly  ignorant  of  law,  as  they  are  shrewd 
and  over- reaching  in  practice;  therefore  lay 
yourself  under  no  obligation  to  them  for  time, 
for  admissions,  for  concession  of  any  kind ;  nor 
ever  hope  to  benefit  your  client  by  amicable 
overtures  of  reference  or  arrangement  out  of 
court :  you  cannot,  it  is  true,  safely  assume 
that  their  honest  wish  is  to  try  the  issue,  and 
that  consequently  they  are  insincere  in  any 
attempts  to  anticipate  the  result  by  less  e; 
pensive  process;  for  too  many  of  them  con- 
tract with  their  clients  to  "  carry  them  through  " 
for  a  given  sum,  and  hence  they  are  gainers  by 
an  abrupt  termination  of  the  suit;  but  as  a 
general  maxim,  take  it  for  granted  that  a 
"sharp  practicer"  will  force  litigation  to  the 
utmost  possible  extremity,  if  his  client  is  a 
man  of  substance;  and  therefore  that  all  over- 


216  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

tures  of  compromise  are  only  made  to  increase 
costs  by  discussion,  or  gain  time  till  some 
absent  witness  is  forthcoming.  Meet  him 
therefore  in  court,  and  meet  him  no  where  else. 
I  have  often  been  trapped  by  the  honest  desire 
of  getting  my  client  as  well  as  myself  out  of 
such  dirty  hands,  into  costly  discussion,  but  I 
never  once  succeeded  in  the  extrh  ation  on 
better  terms  than  I  should  have  obtained  by  an 
adverse  verdict,  My  second  rule  is  to  abjure 
all  personal  communication  with  suspected 
men :  very  little  direct  intercourse  is  necessary 
with  the  opposite  attorney  in  the  ordinary 
course  of  an  action,  and  what  little  is  indis- 
pensable, can  be  managed  better,  and  far  more 
safely  in  writing  than  verbally;  even  letters 
should  be  dry  and  laconic,  consisting  of  little 
more  than  the  date,  subscription,  and  address, 
and  the  simple  monosyllabic  reply  of  "  yes  "  or 
"no"  between  the  formal  parts.  But  if,  as 
does  sometimes  occur,  the  man's  impudence 
will  force  an  interview,  and  you  cannot  pru- 
dently kick  him  down  stairs,  my  third  rule  is 
of  the  utmost  importance,  namely,  to  muster  all 
your  establishment  as  witnesses  of  your  misfortune: 
I  am  not  enjoining  caution  that  I  do  not  prac- 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  217 

tice.  Some  years  ago  an  attorney  called  on 
me  —  a  man  whose  word  I  would  not  have 
credited  had  he  pledged  it  with  a  halter  round 
his  neck.  The  door  from  my  own  office  into 
my  clerk's  was  wide  ajar,  and  he  saw  me  at  my 
desk  as  he  stealthily  entered ;  however,  he  had 
the  decency  to  ask, 

"  Is  Mr.  Sharpe  at  home  ?" 
"  No ;  "  replied  the  clerk. 
"  Xo  !  why  I  see  him  in  his  office." 
"  He  is  not  at  home,  Sir." 
"  Well,  I  must  speak  to  his  ghost  then,"  he 
rejoined,  approaching  my  room ;  there  was  no 
time   to  be  lost;  I  rose  from  my  seat,  rushed 
into   the  clerk's   office,  nearly  overturning  the 
intruder  in  my  haste,  and  angrily  exclaimed  to 
my  clerk,  "What  do  you  mean  by  this,  you 
young  rascal  ?   did   I  not  tell  you   when   Mr. 
Tricker  called,  to  deny  me?     I  tell  you  I  am 
not  at  home,  Sir ;  I  am  attending  the  Common 
Pleas!"  and  slamming  the  door  in  his  face, 
and  audibly  turning  the  key,  I  left  him  aghast 
at  finding   for  once  his  own  impudence  out- 
done !    He  left  the  place  as  soon  as  he  recovered 
from  his  amazement,  and  I  never  was  troubled 

by  him    again.     It   is  not  always  so  easy  to 
10 


218      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

release  yourself,  and  if  you  are  condemned  to 
be  closeted,  and  rudeness  is  out  of  place,  the 
simple  course  is  to  ring  forthwith  for  your 
common  law  clerk,  and  desire  him  to  search 
for  a  letter  of  the  80th  of  February  last,  in  the 
largest  bundle  of  papers  in  the  room !  You 
have  no  other  chance  of  safety  with  a  professed 
affidavit-  monger. 

These  are  the  sort  of  men  of  whom,  as  I 
have  observed,  I  always  wish  to  get  rid  as  soon 
as  possible ;  it  is  to  be  lamented,  however,  that 
even  among  the  worthiest  of  the  profession, 
there  are  men  to  be  found  as  difficult  to 
manage,  though  for  very  different  reasons.  It 
must  be  owned  that  there  is  a  something  in  the 
nature  of  our  daily  duty,  harassed  as  we  are 
by  a  multiplicity  of  minute  details,  and  hourly 
irritated  by  the  absurdities  of  clients,  the  care- 
less blunders  of  clerks,  and  the  excitement  of 
all  litigation,  that  tends  to  exacerbate  the 
temper;  though  nine  times  out  of  ten  I  have 
found  that  the  direst  feuds  between  principals, 
have  originated  in  the  quarrels  and  misstate- 
ments of  their  respective  clerks.  The  young 
gentlemen,  in  their  impetuous  zeal  for  their 
employers'  interest,  are  but  too  prone  to  exhibit 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  219 

their  small  powers  in  grasping  at  a  small 
advantage,  and  where  they  succeed,  to  aggra- 
vate the  mortification  of  their  rival  by  exulta- 
tion,—  where  they  fail,  to  vent  theii'  spleen  by 
insult.  This  contemptible  rivalry  displays 
itself  more  in  that  bear-garden,  the  master's 
office,  on  taxation  of  costs,  than  on  any  other 
occasion.  A  squabble  of  half  an  hour  about 
three  -  and  -  sixpence  sends  both  parties  home  in 
the  temper  of  wild  cats ;  they  report  the  scene ; 
the  attorney  espouses  the  angry  feelings  of  his 
clerk,  instead  of  rebuking  him  for  his  ungen- 
tleinanly  temper;  and  the  principals  become 
imperceptibly  involved  in  recriminating  corre- 
spondence, followed  up  by  a  host  of  alternate 
applications  to  the  court,  that  serve  nobody  but 
some  hungry  junior  who  acquires  briefs  by  his 
skill  in  practice.  I  remember  a  contest  of  this 
kind  carried  on  between  one  of  the  first  offices 
in  London,  and  a  little  deformed  attorney  of 
the  very  lowest  stamp,  which  lasted  for  several 
years  with  varying  success,  till  at  last  it  was 
referred  to  the  master  to  decide  on  which  side  the 
pecuniary  balance  lay.  On  setting  off  costs  on 
one  side  against  costs  on  the  other,  to  the 
amount  of  more  than  three  hundred  pounds  on 


220  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

either,  the  balance  due  to  the  successful  party 
was  exactly  £4.  3*.  2d.  !  The  whole  of  this 
mighty  feud  began  in  the  irregular  service  of 
an  attachment  for  non-payment  of  some 
fifteen  pounds  of  costs,  but  enough  vindictive 
feeling  was  displayed  to  have  done  credit  to  a 
Highland  or  American  chief.  It  is  our  duty 
to  uphold  our  clerks  where  they  are  decidedly 
right;  it  is  not  less  so  to  rebuke  them  with 
severity  where  they  are  clearly  wrong,  even 
while  we  make  large  allowance  for  their  zeal : 
but  above  all,  it  behoves  us,  and  I  wish  I 
could  honestly  say  that  I  had  always  adhered 
to  my  own  doctrine,  to  guard  ourselves  against 
all  participation  in  their  feuds. 

Is"ow  and  then,  however,  our  professional 
squabbles  are  entirely  of  our  own  creation; 
and  then  they  are  unpardonable.  There  is  but 
one  case  in  which  I  can  allow  an  apology  for 
them;  and  that  is  where,  with  the  full  con- 
sciousness that  our  client  is  morally,  if  not 
legally  right,  and  that  he  has  been  victimized 
by  a  swindler,  we  find  our  professional  oppo- 
nent lending  himself  to  the  fraud  of  his  client, 
and  on  the  convenient  but  erroneous  principle 
that  it  is  his  duty  to  make  the  best  he  can  of 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  221 

his  employer's  case,  supporting  him  by  tech- 
nical astuteness.  I  have  very  recently  experi- 
enced this  provocation.  I  was  destitute  of 
evidence  to  prove  that  a  man  who  had  filed  a 
bill  against  my  client  for  indemnity  against  a 
covenant  to  repair,  had  already  received  a  sum 
of  £400  to  cover  the  risk.  I  knew  it  to  be  the 
fact,  because  the  man  himself  had  admitted  it 
to  me  long  before  litigation,  or  even  the  risk  of 
it,  was  ever  contemplated ;  but  the  admission 
was  made  in  confidential  conversation,  and 
therefore  I  could  not  be  a  witness.  By  the 
advice  of  my  counsel,  and  under  the  impression 
that  the  plaintiff"  was  a  man  of  principle,  as  he 
had  long  made  loud  religious  professions,  I 
filed  a  cross  bill  for  a  discovery;  but  I  was 
mistaken  in  my  calculation :  he  got  into  the 
hands  of  a  solicitor  otherwise  respectable,  who 
from  peculiar  circumstances  must  have  known 
how  the  fact  really  stood,  but  who  felt  little 
scruple  in  putting  in  an  ingenious  answer  that 
successfully  shuffled  out  of  the  admission,  and 
thus  our  expectation  of  evidence  was  defeated, 
and  the  man  pocketed  his  £400  twice  over, 
gratefully  appropriating  a  part  of  it  to  present 
his  unscrupulous  adviser  with  a  piece  of  plate 


222  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

ultra  Ms  costs!  I  hope  for  the  sake  of  both 
parties  that  it  was  unmerited.  Cases  like  this 
cannot  fail  to  raise  the  bile ;  and  more  especially 
when,  as  in  that  which  I  have  been  mentioning, 
one  feels  assured  that  the  proceedings  are 
pressed  on  merely  for  costs,  against  a  perfect 
conviction  of  their  injustice.  But  it  is  very 
rare  that  we  have  such  fair  excuse  for  our 
irritability. 

We  should  steadily  bear  in  mind,  that  after 
all,  we  are  only  the  attorneys,  not  the  principals 
in  the  cause;  it  is  generally  from  losing  sight 
of  this,  that  we  are  betrayed  into  excitement 
and  ill-will;  exactly  in  proportion  as  we  do 
lose  sight  of  it,  and  identify  ourselves  with  our 
client's  feelings,  we  not  only  expose  ourselves 
to  the  risk  of  quarreling,  but  incapacitate 
ourselves  from  discharging  our  duty  to  him 
with  calm  and  dispassionate  judgment.  When 
however,  it  occurs,  as  of  course  it  will  occasion- 
ally, that  we  are  opposed  to  a  man  who  blusters 
and  writes  angry  letters,  the  same  course  should 
be  taken  as  with  the  affidavit -monger  —  avoid 
all  personal  interviews,  and  write  your  replies 
as  laconically  as  is  consistent  with  courtesy;  a 
long  letter,  unless  confined  to  simple  explana- 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  223 

tion,  will  rarely  produce  peace;  and  it  is  an 
excellent  maxim  that  T  learnt  from  one  of  the 
most  honorable  and  respected  men  in  the  pro- 
fession, Mr.  Greaves,  never  to  answer  an  angry 
communication,  till  it  has  lain  four-  and  -  twenty 
hours  on  your  desk. 

Whenever  I  see  an  attorney  bristling  up  his 
quills  in  porcupine  fashion,  before  any  body 
thinks  of  attacking  him,  I  always  write  him 
down  an  ass,  unless  his  juvenile  appearance  can 
plead  inexperience  in  behalf  of  ignorance  :  ours 
is  of  necessity  a  rough  profession  in  many  of 
its  encounters,  and  Ave  must  expect  rough 
knocks  in  it,  and  learn  to  bear  them ;  but  I 
deprecate  our  needlessly  provoking  each  other 
to  inflict  them,  and  I  am  convinced,  that  by 
following  the  principles  I  have  suggested,  many 
a  blow  may  be  saved,  and  the  disposition  to 
give  the  blow  often  restrained. 

While  I  sincerely  believe  that  there  are  very 
many  in  the  profession  with  whom  we  may 
safely  trust  ourselves  in  frank  discussion  of  the 
merits  of  our  case,  with  a  view  to  avoid  expense 
and  possibility  to  put  an  end  to  threatened 
litigation,  I  am  compelled  to  say  as  a  general 
rule,   that  it  is   by  no  means  prudent  to  enter 


11*24  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

into  any  irregular  correspondence,  cither  by 
letter  or  in  person,  even  to  restore  peace.  I 
wish  it  were  otherwise,  for  I  am  convinced  that 
justice  might  often  be  done  between  contending 
parties,  without  law  and  at  little  costs,  if  their 
respective  solicitors  could  place  that  confidence 
in  each  other  which  would  insure  an  honest 
overture  being  received  with  equal  cordiality. 
Tt  is  clear  that  every  difference  involving  no 
legal  question,  can  only  arise  from  a  misunder- 
standing on  facts,  or  from  irritation  of  temper; 
and  all  experienced  attorneys  are  well  aware 
that  not  one  case  in  fifty  brought  under  our 
notice,  will  be  found  to  turn  upon  a  new  point 
of  law,  or  upon  such  nice  distinctions  of 
circumstance  as  to  take  it  out  of  an  acknowl- 
edged principle.  Where  error  as  to  fact,  or 
excitement  of  temper  involves  men  of  respect- 
ability in  a  controversy  about  their  respective 
rights,  how  easy  is  it  for  a  clear-headed  at- 
torney  to  get  at  the  truth  by  a  little  open  con- 
versation with  his  opponent,  if  that  opponent 
will  only  meet  him  with  the  same  laudable 
purpose  of  setting  the  parties  right !  nor,  if  I 
may  judge  from  my  own  experience,  is  this 
conciliatory   disposition  a  losing  game   in    the 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE. 


not 


lon<r  run  :  it  may  be  attended  by  a  sacrifice  of 
costs  in  the  particular  case,  but  on  the  other 
hand,  it  insures  a  return  of  your  client  on 
every  difficulty. 

Such,  however,  is  our  unfortunate  jealousy 
of  each  other,  and  so  powerful  the  habit  of 
zealously  espousing  the  client's  cause,  whether 
right  or  wrong,  that  a  solicitor's  character 
must  stand  very  high  indeed,  to  warrant  us  in 
any  conciliatory  appeal  to  him,  with  a  view  to 
an  amicable  arrangement.  I  have  known  the 
strongest  disposition  professed  to  avoid  ex- 
tremes, and  followed  up  too  by  an  apparently 
frank  exchange  of  explanation ;  when  after  all, 
the  opposite  attorney  has  abruptly  terminated 
the  negotiation,  throwing  the  fault  on  his 
client's  obstinacy,  and  availing  himself  of  the 
knowledge  which  he  has  thus  acquired  of  your 
case,  to  prepare  himself  the  better  to  meet  and 
to  defeat  it;  for  it  must  be  recollected  that 
though  letters  may  be  written  "without  preju- 
dice," and  thus  protected  from  all  attempt  to 
misapply  them,  knowledge  or  information  can 
not,  from  the  nature  of  the  case,  be  conveyed 
without  prejudice,  unless  you  could   insure  a 

man's  divesting  his  mind,  as  jurymen  are  ab- 
10* 


226  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

surdly  directed  to  do,  of  all  that  he  has  pre- 
viously heard.  I  heartily  wish  that  attorneys 
of  the  respectable  class  would  more  habitually 
repose  a  friendly  confidence  in  each  other, 
though  I  scarcely  know  how  it  can  be  ex- 
pected, till  some  better  protection  can  be 
devised  for  amicable  negotiation. 

Nor  again,  must  any  attorney  blindly  trust 
to  the  good -nature  or  indulgence  of  an  oppo- 
nent, however  respectable,  or  however  person- 
ally friendly.  I  was  nearly  involved  in  utter 
ruin  by  a  blunder  of  this  kind,  though  I  was 
engaged  with  one  of  the  largest  and  most 
respectable  houses  in  the  city,  with  the  heads 
of  which  I  have  always  been  on  the  best  under 
standing.  A  client  of  mine,  a  trustee,  had 
sold  the  trust  estates  on  most  advantageous 
terms.  The  purchase  was  to  be  completed  by 
a  certain  day.  The  solicitors  in  question  were 
acting  for  a  mortgagee  whom  we  had  given 
notice  that  we  would  pay  off  out  of  the  pur- 
chase-money. When  the  day  arrived,  I  was 
unable  to  complete  the  purehase,  in  conse- 
quence of  my  conveyancer  having  been  called 
out  of  town  by  the  fatal  illness  of  his  mother, 
and  taken  with  him  the  draft  reconveyance  of 


TN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  227 

the  mortgage.  Believing  myself  to  be  in  fair* 
and  friendly  hands,  I  gave  myself  no  trouble 
about  it,  and  in  a  few  weeks  after,  being  then 
ready,  I  proposed  to  settle  the  transaction.  To 
my  utter  amazement,  these  gentlemen  obsti- 
nately refused,  insisting  that  their  client  was 
entitled  to  a  fresh  notice  of  six  months,  before 
he  was  paid  off!  There  was  no  pretext  for 
saying  that  he  had  lost  any  opportunity  of 
otherwise  investing  his  money,  but  "sic  volo, 
sic  jubeo"  was  all  their  argument.  Meanwhile, 
the  purchaser  had  his  money  ready,  and  in- 
sisted on  completing  the  purchase,  or  being  let 
off  his  bargain ;  while  my  client  menaced  me 
with  responsibility  for  any  loss  of  price,  if 
driven  to  a  re -sale  of  the  estates  :  that  loss,  in 
all  probability,  would  have  been  many  thou- 
sand pounds.  I  appealed,  but  I  appealed  in 
vain  to  the  liberality  of  my  city  friends ;  their 
six  months'  notice  they  would  have,  if  I  died 
in  jail  as  the  consequence;  my  trustee  client 
had  obviously  no  power  to  spare  me ;  I  was 
saved  by  the  liberal  kindness  of  the  purchaser, 
who,  though  anxious  to  be  released  from  his 
contract,  would  not  buy  that  release  at  my 
expense,    and    consented    to    wait   till    the   six 


228  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

months  had  expired.  I  might  on  three  occa- 
sions since,  have  re -borrowed  the  money  for 
other  clients  from  the  city  mortgagee,  but  I 
have  had  at  least  the  satisfaction  of  declining 
further  business  of  the  kind  with  such  punc- 
tilious gentlemen. 


IN    SEARCH   OF    PRACTICE.  229 


CHAPTER    XV. 

"  Mutua  benevolentia  utetur  cum  sciat  se  tanto  plus  preestitisse 

Ipse  litigantium  auxiliator  egebit  auxilio." 

Quinct.  de  Inst.  Orat. 

I  have  found  it  far  more  difficult  to  regulate 
my  intercourse  with  counsel  by  any  systematic; 
rules,  than  to  manage  either  my  client  or 
opposing  solicitors.  We  certainly  have  less 
provocation  to  temper  in  this  case,  because  we 
can  never  come  into  personal  collision  with  the 
members  of  the  bar,  except  in  open  court, 
where  the  authority  of  the  judge  is,  or  ought 
to  be,  exerted  to  preserve  not  only  the  peace, 
but  the  decorum  of  society.  I  have  sometimes 
witnessed  a  great  deal  of  overbearing  insolence 
from  barristers  of  every  standing;  but  never 
except  from  men  naturally  coarse,  and  like 
some  solicitors  that  I  have  described,  mere 
adventurers,  though  often  successful  ones,  in 
their  profession.     So  far,  however,  as  my  own 


230  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

experience  has  gone,  these  men  are  exceptions 
to  the  general  rule.  I  recollect  one  occasion 
ah  mt  eighteen  years  ago,  when  a  learned  bar- 
rister was  defending  a  prisoner  whom  I  was 
prosecuting,  his  eloquence  was  at  a  loss  for  a 
better  argument,  and  therefore  in  addressing 
the  jury,  he  charged  me  with  having  falsely 
instructed  counsel !  his  client  was  convicted, 
and  thus  the  jury  showed  their  sense  of  the 
value  of  the  charge.  I  was  then  so  young  that 
1  knew  not  how  slight  was  the  insult  conveyed 
by  such  professional  attacks :  but  being  my 
opponent's  equal  in  all  the  adventitious  circum- 
stances of  education  and  social  position,  and 
somewhat  his  superior  in  birth  and  connexion, 
I  resented  the  supposed  affront  by  giving  him 
my  card.  I  cannot  describe  my  amazement, 
when  instead  of  receiving  the  hint  in  silence  he 
tossed  it  from  him  with  an  air  of  affected 
indifference,  saying,  "  I  throw  it  back  with 
contempt ; "  but  taking  especial  care  at  the 
same  time  to  fix  the  attention  of  the  judge  on 
this  daring  violation  of  forensic  privilege,  so 
as  to  avoid  the  bare  possibility  of  unpleasant 
consequences.  The  obliging  interposition  of 
Mr.    Law,    the    present    recorder,    healed    my 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  231 

wounded  feelings;  or  I  might  have  been  be- 
trayed by  anger  into  a  very  disagreeable  posi- 
tion. These  attacks,  however,  are,  as  I  have 
observed,  rarely  made  on  solicitors  of  acknowl- 
edged character;  nor,  in  truth,  could  I  quote 
another  such  instance  towards  myself  in  nearly 
twenty -five  years'  acquaintance  with  the  courts; 
it  is  because  it  is  almost  unique,  that  I  think  it 
worth  mentioning.  The  usual  style  of  inso- 
lence is  of  a  very  different  description :  it  is  a 
supercilious  hauteur  that  implies  total  disre- 
gard of  the  attorney,  the  client,  the  cause,  and 
the  fee.  On  the  latter  point,  I  incline  to  think 
that  the  disregard  is  entirely  assumed,  but  in 
all  other  particulars,  it  is  too  natural  to  be 
insincere.  This  is  a  professional  folly  that 
often  entails  its  own  punishment,  for  I  have 
good  reason  to  know  that  gentlemen  of  this 
character  always  lose  business,  unless  they  can 
command  their  briefs  in  spite  of  the  attorneys, 
and  are  rarely  employed  of  spontaneous  good- 
will, but  only  because  our  clients  will  not  be 
satisfied  without  retaining  them.  It  may  be  a 
good  policy  of  our  clients,  but  it  is  an  expen- 
sive one;  for  many  a  time  have  I  been  com- 
pelled to  employ  two  leaders  when  one  would 


232  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

have  sufficed,  and  when  only  the  costs  of  one 
were  allowed,  that  I  might  make  sure  of 
having  a  man  who  would  condescend  to  read 
his  brief,  and  listen  to  a  suggestion  even  from 
the  attorney.  What  a  contrast  to  such  men 
was  afforded  by  Garrow,  Best,  Vaughan, 
Gurney,  and  even  Sir  Vicary  Gibbs  !  And  in 
the  present  day,  though  Campbell  is  supposed 
to  be  difficult  of  approach,  I  never  found  him 
inaccessible ;  while  Wilde  and  F.  Pollock  will 
readily  and  kindly  listen  to  every  word, 
whether  to  the  purpose  or  not.  Brougham 
was  another  most  ready  listener,  as  well  as  a 
most  efficient  advocate;  I  believe  that  many 
regret  yet  more  than  he  does  himself,  that  he 
ever  left  the  bar  for  the  bench.  Erie,  though 
reserved,  is  always  courteous  to  formality; 
Talfourd  is  not  only  courteous,  but  cordial ; 
and  E..  V.  Richards  pays  more  good-natured 
attention  to  one's  case,  and  fights  it  through 
with  more  vigor  than  any  man  I  ever  met  with 
except  Wilde  or  Gurney.  The  success  of  Law 
and  Thesiger,  distinguished  as  they  both  un- 
questionably are  for  forensic  power,  is  perhaps 
yet  more  to  be  attributed  to  their  frank  good- 
humor.     I  never  employed  Follett,  and  there- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  233 

fore    am    unable   to    speak    of    his    merits    or 

demerits  in  this  particular.  I  was  once  op- 
posed to  him  on  a  reference  before  .Serjeant 
Storks  many  years  ago  :  and  as  lie  was  also 
opposed  to  the  Serjeant  on  every  legal  point 
that  occurred  in  it,  I  conclude  he  knows  some- 
thing of  law.  I  might  mention  too  many  of  a 
very  different  disposition,  but  it  is  not  fair  in 
an  anonymous  work  to  quote  the  names  of 
private  individuals  to  their  prejudice. 

But  to  return  to  niy  immediate  subject.  If 
we  find  ourselves  uncourteously  received  by 
counsel,  1  think  that  the  fault  is  essentially  our 
own :  it  may  happen  with  such  men  as  Scarlett 
used  to  be,  and  perhaps,  with  two  or  three 
others  of  the  present  day,  that  they  are  raised 
by  talent,  and  yet  more  frequently  by  happy 
opportunities,  to  a  distinguished  position  that 
renders  them  independent  of  the  good -will  of 
the  attorneys.  When  this  is  the  case,  if  they 
haughtily  forget  the  kind  offices  that  first 
found  for  them  opportunities  of  attaining 
acknowledged  distinction,  it  only  shows  that 
their  minds  are  little,  however  great  their  law : 
we  should  rather  feel  pity  for  them,  than 
trouble  ourselves  about  the  contempt  they  may 


234  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

affect  for  us.  With  all  inferior  men,  however, 
Ave  have  the  remedy  in  our  own  hands,  had  we 
only  sufficient  esprit  de  corps  to  use  it.  I  recol- 
lect when,  several  years  ago,  we  were  obliged  to 
employ  four  or  five  leaders  in  every  stage  of 
every  cause  in  Chancery,  because  we  never 
could  reckon  with  certainty  on  the  attendance 
of  even  one  !  This  man  was  at  the  Rolls  when 
we  wanted  him  before  the  Chancellor,  and  that 
man  was  in  the  vice -Chancellor's  court  when 
wanted  at  the  Rolls.  The  solicitors  made 
common  cause  of  it,  and  published  their  deter- 
mination to  give  no  brief  to  any  counsel  that 
would  not  confine  himself  to  one  court.  The 
bar  blustered  and  talked  big,  and  such  was  our 
jealousy  of  each  other,  and  our  want  of  union, 
that  our  purposed  reform  was  almost  defeated  ; 
but  the  demand  was  reasonable,  and  every  man 
of  good  feeling  was  convinced  that  the  interests 
and  the  money  of  our  clients  ought  not  to  be 
sacrificed  to  the  grasping  cupidity  of  counsel. 
I  think  it  was  Shadwell  who  first  announced 
his  intention  of  confining  himself  to  one  court, 
—  the  vice -Chancellor's.  His  example  was 
gradually  followed,  and  we  have  now  for 
several  years  had  the  advantage  of  knowing 


IX   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  235 

where  to  find  our  leaders  when  we  want  them ; 
the  victory  is  to  be  ascribed  to  our  having  the 
good  sense  to  avail  ourselves  of  the  power 
which  the  bar,  not  less  than  ourselves,  are 
conscious  that  we  have  over  them.  I  am  far 
from  saying  that  this  power  ought  to  be,  or 
indeed  could  be  successfully  exerted  on  every 
petty  occasion,  but  undoubtedly  it  might  be 
fairly  brought  into  play  against  any  barrister 
who  habitually  insulted  us ;  and  even  that  share 
of  it,  which  each  individual  enjoys  in  propor- 
tion to  the  extent  of  his  business,  ought  to  be 
sufficient,  if  managed  with  dexterity,  to  protect 
him  from  any  repetition  of  personal  offense. 
Barristers  have  at  least  as  much  if  not  more 
sensibility  about  the  failure  of  clients  than 
ourselves,  however  they  may  affect  a  lofty 
disregard  of  the  emoluments  of  their  profession. 
I  have  often  been  amused  at  the  indirect 
appeals,  and  sometimes  the  downright  men- 
dacity of  cousins,  connexions,  and  friends,  for 
a  stray  brief,  or  a  casual  motion  on  behalf  of  a 
"relation  at  the  bar,  if  my  engagements  to 
other  gentlemen  allowed  me  ! " 

Independently,    however,     of    the     influence 
which    we    derive    from    this    acknowledged 


236  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

dependence  upon  us,  and  which  we  are  well 
warranted  in  using  for  our  own  protection,  I 
cannot  help  thinking  that  we  may  find  a  yet 
better  security  for  due  respect  in  our  own 
deportment.  We  must  always  bear  in  mind 
that  in  point  of  etiquette  our  professional  grade 
is  lower,  and  therefore  we  are  not  justified  in 
expecting  deference  as  lawyers,  however  well 
entitled  to  insist  on  courtesy  as  gentlemen. 
This  should  be  the  limit  of  our  pretensions;  it 
is  only  when  this  is  forgotten  that  we  have  any 
title  to  complain.  We  are  excusable  in  resent- 
ing any  imputation  against  our  conduct  as 
gentlemen,  let  it  proceed  from  whom  it  may,  or 
any  sneering  recognition  of  our  station.  But 
we  are  not  entitled  to  assume  a  professional 
equality  with  the  bar,  merely  because  it  draws 
its  immediate  support  from  us.  There  is,  it  is 
true,  an  exclusive  temper  in  its  conventional 
etiquette,  that,  in  these  liberal  times,  is  perfectly 
ridiculous.  I  ha^e  known  a  brother  refuse  to 
dine  with  a  brother  in  an  assize  town,  the  one 
being  counsel,  the  other  attorney,  because  it 
\\ ..  held  contra  bonos  mores  at  the  bar  mess. 
Springing  as  this  does  from  the  jealous  feeling 
that   barristers    entertain    of  each    other,   lest 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  237 

undue  means  should  be  exerted  in  familiar 
intercourse  to  obtain  briefs,  it  is  not  less  con- 
fessedly disgraceful  to  themselves  as  a  body, 
than  it  is  offensive  to  those  whom  it  insults : 
this  exelusiveness  reflects  no  discredit  on  out- 
class, though  much,  avowedly,  on  their  own. 
Against  offenses  of  this  kind  we  cannot  protect 
ourselves;  but  against  any  offered  to  us  indi- 
vidually, we  easily  may,  by  always  observing 
that  self-  respect  which  commands  respect,  invito 
animo,  from  others.  I  have  mentioned  the  only 
instance  that  has  ever  occurred  to  myself,  in 
which  I  could  fairly  quote  language  applied  to 
me  by  counsel,  of  which  I  feel  justified  in 
complaining ;  and  I  attribute  my  exemption 
from  an  annoyance  to  which  I  have  daily  seen 
others  exposed,  principally  to  the  care  which  I 
have  always  anxiously  taken  never  to  lay  myself 
open  to  reproach  for  conduct  unworthy  of  an 
honorable  member  of  my  profession  ;  but  in 
some  degree  also  to  a  demeanor  implying  at 
once  perfect  equality  of  station,  and  yet 
respectful,  deference  to  superior  knowledge  and 
professional  rank.  "We  should  recollect  that  as 
the  military  officer  is  nobody  except  on  the 
parade,  or  in  the  ball-room,  so  the  lawyer  loses 


238  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

all  distinction  out  of  Westminster  Hall,  and 
when  we  meet  in  the  world,  we  meet  on  equal 
terms;  this  is  perfectly  consistent  with  the 
discipline  of  the  ranks. 

Occasions  do  now  and  then  occur  where  the 
self-command  that  I  am  recommending  be- 
comes extremely  difficult  to  practice;  more 
particularly  when  we  are  attending  gentlemen 
high  in  legal  office.  I  remember  a  case  of  this 
kind  with  the  late  Master  Stratford.  A  solici- 
tor of  great  eminence  was  attending  him ;  the 
Master  had  already  intimated  a  very  strong 
opinion  on  the  matter  in  dispute,  and  it  is  well 
known  that  he  was  not  very  well  pleased  with 
contradiction,  nor  much  disposed  to  listen  to 
it;  the  solicitor,  however,  was  resolute  to  be 
heard,  and  finding  there  was  little  chance  in 
any  other  way,  determined  on  angering  him  into 
silence;  rather  a  novel  means  of  obtaining  an 
audience,  but  in  this  instance  quite  successful. 

"I  was  observing,  Master  Stratford — " 

"  I  have  heard  your  observations,  Sir, 
[angrily?)  till  I  am  weary  of  them ;  I  beg  you 
will  be  silent,  I  have  quite  made  up  my  mind." 

"I  see  you  have,  Sir,  but  it  strikes  me 
that  —  " 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  239 

"  I  really  cannot  help  what  strikes  you,  Sir, 
I  shall  not  hear  another  word." 

"  I  am  sorry  for  it,  Sir,  I  have  a  great  many 
yet  to  offer." 

"  Indeed!  [half  rising  from  his  chair,  and  then 
resuming  it,)  pray,  how  long  may  you  intend  to 
talk?" 

"  Probably  half  an  hour,  Sir;  it  depends  on 
the  attention  you  will  be  so  good  as  to 
give  me." 

"Half  an  hour,  Sir!  did  you  say  half  an 
hour,  Sir  ?  do  you  know  who  you  are  talking 
to?" 

"  It  may  take  me  a  trifle  longer,  Master 
Stratford,  it  depends  on  yourself  in  some 
measure." 

"  On  me,  Sir  !  on  me!  insufferable  insolence! 
half  an  hour!  depends  on  myself !  pray  what 
may  your  name  be,  Sir?  " 

"  Fairfield,  Sir.  If  you  are  ready  I  will 
begin." 

Here  the  learned  Master  drew  back  his  chair, 
and  actually  gaped  in  astonished  frenzy  at  this 
unwonted  defiance  of  his  wrath,  during  which 
Mr.  Fairfield  coolly  proceeded  with  his  argu- 
ment,   wholly    undisturbed     by    the    judicial 


240  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

agitation,  and  quoted  cases  by  the  dozen. 
Meanwhile  his  client,  an  honest  tradesman  who 
knew  as  little  of  the  etiquette  of  the  Master's 
office  as  of  St.  James's,  being  weary  of  standing, 
seated  himself  on  the  nearest  chair.  This  new 
offense  actually  bewildered  poor  Stratford ;  he 
looked  from  the  solicitor  to  the  client,  and 
from  the  client  to  the  solicitor,  in  mute  amaze- 
ment, wholly  regardless  of  the  argument  and 
the  authorities,  when  at  this  instant  a  servant 
boy  entered  the  august  presence  with  the  coal- 
scuttle. A  happy  idea  flashed  across  the 
Master's  mind.  Rising  precipitately  from  his 
chair,  and  grasping  the  lad  by  the  arm,  he 
forced  him  into  it. 

"  Here,  Jack,  take  my  chair  !  take  my  chair! 
I  don't  see  why  one  gentleman  should  not  sit 
down  as  well  as  another !  " 

The  frightened  boy  took  the  chair;  Fairfield, 
who  was  a  man  of  uncommon  talent,  that 
justified  as  it  was  supported  by  uncommon 
assurance,  continued  speaking,  as  if  uncon- 
scious of  the  substitution ;  the  farce  was  too 
much  even  for  the  Master's  wrath ;  he  laughed 
himself  into  good  humor,  heard  the  argument 
to    the    end,    and,    mirabile    dicta,  altered   his 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  241 

opinion  ;  not  the  less  readily  perhaps,  because 
he  knew  that  Fairfield  was  a  character  not  to 
be  trifled  with. 

A  case  not  very  dissimilar  so  far  as  regards 
its  judicial  dignity,  occurred  to  myself.  An 
action  had  been  compromised  between  me  and 
the  opposite  attorney,  subject  to  a  question  of 
costs  on  which  we  could  not  agree,  and  which 
we  were  both  perfectly  willing  to  leave  to  the 
decision  of  the  judge  :  with  the  view  of  obtain- 
ing his  opinion  we  attended  him  on  a  summons, 
the  terms  of  which  had  been  previously 
arranged  between  us,  "  to  show  cause  why 
proceedings  should  not  be  stayed  without 
payment  of  costs."  We  were  the  first  whose 
turn  it  was  to  enter.  His  lordship  glanced  at 
the  summons,  and  seemed  somewhat  doubtful 
as  to  its  meaning,  but  began  very  sharply,  not 
addressing  himself  particularly  to  either  of  us . 

"  Well,  Sir,  what  cause  have  you  to  show?" 

"  We  have  agreed,  my  lord,"  — 

"  Then  if  you  are  agreed,  Sir,  why  do  you 
trouble  me?  (impatiently,)  call  the  next  sum- 
mons." 

"Your  lordship  has  misunderstood  me ;  we 

agreed  to  leave  it  to  "  — 
11 


242  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

"  Well,  Sir,  you  may  take  your  leave  when 
you  please;  (snappishly?)  are  the  next  parties 
ready  ?" 

"  If  you  will  not  hear,  my  lord,  it  is  useless  to  " — 

"Not  hear  you,  Sir!  (angrily.)  I  asked  you 
what  cause  you  had  to  show?  and  you  can 
show  none." 

"It  is  not  my  business,  my  lord;  it  is  my 
summons." 

"  Well  then,  (turning  short  round  to  my 
opponent,)  can  you  show  cause  ? " 

"  I  think  I  can,  my  lord,  if  you  will  listen 
to  me." 

"  And  haven't  I  been  listening  to  you  for  the 
last  half- hour?  go  on,  Sir." 

"  The  action  has  been  compromised,  my 
lord,  but"  — 

"  Compromised !  then  why  do  you  come 
here  ?  (turning  to  his  clerk,)  call  in  the  next. 
What  business  have  you  here  ?  " 

"Really,  my  lord" — I  began,  but  in  vain. 

"  Can  you  show  cause,  Sir  ? " 

"  I  have  already  told  your  lordship  that  the 
summons  is  mine." 

"Then  can  you  show  cause,  Sir?"  turning 
again  to  the  other. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  243 

"  Not  without  explaining  the  case,  my  lord." 
"Then,  gentlemen,  }'OU  may  go;  you  may 
take  your  order :  call  in  the  next." 

"  On  these  terms  I  cannot  take  it,  my  lord." 
"I    imposed   no   terms,    Sir;    the   order   is 
made — call  in  the  next." 
"Your  lordship  will"  — 
"Be  silent,  Sir;  you  can  show  no  cause — 
call  in  the  next  summons." 

"  If  your  lordship  will  give  me  one  minute  " — 
"Silence,  Sir;  I  have  decided  the  point;  — 
are  the  next  ready  ?" 

And  so  we  took  nothing  by  our  motion, 
though  we  retired  deeply  impressed  with  the 
condescending  kindness,  no  less  than  the  pro- 
found learning,  and  calm  endurance  of  the 
judge.  We  went  to  the  chambers  of  Mr. 
Baron  Vaughan,  explained  the  matter  to  him; 
and  his  lordship,  with  an  affability  and  a  kind- 
ness that  I  never  can  forget,  not  only  settled 
the  immediate  point,  but  perceiving  that  it 
involved  a  personality  of  feeling  between  our 
respective  clients,  entered  into  the  whole  subject 
with  extra-judicial  interest,  and  suggested  a 
course  for  the  perfect  arrangement  of  all 
remaining   difficulties.     His   lordship's    advice 


244  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

was   followed   to   the   letter,    and   with    entire 
Buecess. 

The  dignity  of  the  judicial  ermine  is  not 
always  thus  pleasingly  illustrated:  the  pre- 
eminent purity  and  lofty  pretensions  of  the 
forensic  body  require  occasionally  to  be  vindi- 
cated from  the  bench,  in  a  way  less  calculated, 
I  confess,  to  secure  our  grateful  acquiescence. 
It  can  only  be  attributed  to  a  sense  of  what 
was  due  to  the  corps  of  which  he  has  been  so 
long  a  distinguished  member,  that  Lord  Abin- 
ger,  in  charging  the  jury  on  the  trial  of  a 
cause  lately  before  him,  made  use  of  the  follow- 
ing expression  in  reference  to  a  libellous  attack 
on  Mr.  Thesiger  and  a  solicitor  of  the  name  of 
Ilarmar:  "It  might  be  very  well  for  Mr. 
Thesiger  to  treat  that  with  contempt  which 
Mr.  Ilarmar,  moving  in  the  sphere  of  an  attorney, 
might  be  called  on  with  equal  propriety  to 
defend  himself  from  the  effects  of."  It  cannot 
but  have  given  pain  to  a  man  of  his  lordship's 
acknowledged  urbanity,  thus  to  iind  himself 
compelled  by  a  sense  of  duty,  to  teach  our 
whole  profession  a  lesson  of  humility,  and 
check  those  aspirings  which  might  have  led 
many  of  us  in  our  ignorance,  to  place  ourselves 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  245 

in  reference  to  our  domestic  life,  its  feelings, 
and  its  wrongs,  on  a  level  with  Mr.  Thesiger ! 
Those  who  do  not  know  how  entirely  the 
judicial  mind  enjoys  its  existence,  separate  and 
apart  from  the  man  who  owns  it,  would  be  apt 
to  mistake  this  judicial  dictum  for  an  illiberal 
sneer,  unworthy  of  the  judge,  and  foreign  to 
the  subject ! 

"We  sometimes  find  ourselves  in  a  position, 
in  which,  it  must  be  acknowledged,  that 
temper  and  self-  possession  are  sorely  tried ;  yet 
it  is  one  from  which,  by  preserving  both 
temper  and  presence  of  mind,  we  can  always 
extricate  ourselves  with  advantnge.  A  prudent 
attorney  will  never  put  himself  in  the  witness- 
box,  if  he  can  avoid  it;  occasionally,  however, 
it  is  inevitable,  and  when  he  gets  there,  he  is 
considered  fair  game.  I  never  was  in  this 
situation  but  twice :  on  one  of  these  occasions 
I  was  under  the  fire  of  a  cross-examination  by 
Scarlett,  no  very  enviable  position  even  for  the 
most  honest  witness,  it  must  be  owned.  An 
important  letter  had  been  lost  in  my  office  ;  lost 
by  that  excess  of  precaution  which  one  some- 
times takes  with  very  important  documents ;  I 
had  Locked  it  up  in  some  drawer  for  security, 


246  ADVENTURES    OP    AN    ATTORNEY 

and  on  the  eve  of  trial  could  not  discover  where 
I  had  placed  it;  but  when  engaged  in  consult- 
ing counsel  on  the  case  before  I  commenced  the 
action,  nearly  three  years  before  the  cause  was 
tried,  I  had  introduced  a  copy  of  this  letter  into 
the  statement,  and  had  read  the  letter  to  my 
clerk  while  he  transcribed  it.  I  tendered  this 
copy  in  evidence  :  of  course  Scarlett  opposed 
its  admission,  for  nearly  the  whole  question  of 
damages  turned  upon  it. 

"  Do  you  commonly  read  letters  for  your  clerks 
to  copy,  Mr.  Sharpe?  " 

"  No,  Sir." 

"  It  would  be  rather  an  inconvenient  practice?" 

"  Certainly." 

"  Did  you  examine  this  copy  after  he  had 
made  it?  " 

"Not  that  I  remember;  certainly  not  to 
check  its  accuracy." 

"  Then  you  cannot  swear  to  its  accuracy  ?  " 

"  I  cannot ;  but  I  believe  it  to  be  accurate." 
•  "Why?" 

"  Because  it  consists  of  but  five  lines,  so  there 
is  not  much  room  for  error ;  and  I  had  every 
inducement  to  be  accurate  in  consulting  counsel 
on  the  merits  of  ray  client's  case." 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  247 

"Did  you  show  the  original  letter  to  your 
counsel  ?  " 

"  Most  likely  I  did.  I  cannot  be  certain  at 
this  distance  of  time,  but  I  have  no  doubt  I 
did." 

"  Then  you  did  not  at  that  time  rely  suffici- 
ently on  your  belief  in  its  accuracy  to  trust  to 
the  copy  only  ?  " 

I  saw  the  drift  of  the  question,  and  hesitated; 
of  course  I  received  the  usual  rough  salute, 

" No  hesitation,  Sir;  did  you  then  believe  the 
copy  to  be  accurate  ?  " 

I  still  demurred  —  repeating  the  question,  but 
not  answering. 

"  Come,  Sir  !  no  fencing  with  me ;  as  an 
attorney  you  ought  to  know  better." 

I  remained  silent,  pondering  over  the  ques- 
tion. 

"  I  will  have  an  answer,  Sir :  did  you  then 
believe  the  copy  to  be  faithful?" 

"  To  what  time  do  you  refer  ?  " 

"  "When  you  consulted  counsel." 

"  Three  years  ago  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Sir ;  three  years  ago." 

"  Then  I  will  not  answer  your  question,  un- 
less his  lordship  decides  against  me." 


248  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

My  own  counsel  ought  to  have  made  the 
objection,  but,  from  discretion  sometimes,  they 
are  too  tardy  in  protecting  a  witness.  Lord 
Denman,  however,  (who  knew  me  well,  and 
from  whom  I  never  but  once  received  a  harsh 
Avord,  and  even  then  I  believed  he  designed  it 
kindly,  though  it  was  unjust)  came  to  my  aid. 

"  What  is  your  objection,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?  " 

"Your  Lordship  will  perceive  that  the  ques- 
tion does  not  refer  to  present  belief  nor  to  a  past 
fact,  but  to  the  impression  existing  on  my 
mind  three  years  ago ;  how  is  it  possible  for 
any  man  to  state  with  certainty  the  precise 
limits  of  his  belief,  not  as  to  what  were  the 
occurrences  of  to-day,  or  yesterday,  but  as  to 
what  he  believed  at  a  period  so  remote  ?  " 

His  lordship  reflected  for  a  moment,  and 
overruled  the  question. 

"  It  is  not  a  fair  one,  Mr.  Scarlett.     Go  on." 

But  Scarlett  had  had  enough  of  it,  and  left 
me  to  gain  a  verdict  without  further  interrup- 
tion, though  he  looked  as  if  he  could  have 
eaten  me,  however  unaccustomed  to  fare  so 
tough 

Many  assaults,  far  more  rude  than  this,  are 
hourly  made  by  counsel  at  nisi  prius,  on  attorney 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  249 

witnesses,  and  I  cannot  forbear  observing,  that 
in  general  the  court  is  far  too  indulgent  to  the 
bar  on  these  occasions.  It  is  possible  that  in 
an  idle  hour  even  these  pages  may  meet  a  judi- 
cial eye ;  I  have  known  some  of  their  lordships 
amuse  themselves  with  more  unprofitable  books  ! 
should  such  an  honor  await  me,  I  must  be  ex- 
cused for  reminding  my  most  learned  lounger 
that  it  is  the  duty  of  the  bench  to  protect  a 
witness,  not  less  than  to  compel  the  truth.  I 
do  not  say  to  screen  him,  but  emphatically  to 
protect  him :  and  where  a  judge,  from  reluc- 
tance to  face  the  sneers  of  counsel,  or  to  en- 
counter his  coarse  remonstrance,  allows  him  to 
practice  on  the  timidity,  or  outrage  the  just 
sensiblility  of  a  defenseless  witness,  or  what  is 
worse,  to  calumniate  and  stigmatize  one  who  is 
no  party,  except  professionally,  to  the  cause, 
and  who  has  no  opportunity  of  being  heard  in 
explanation,  that  judge  is  not  less  guilty  of  a 
violation  of  his  oath,  than  if  he  sold  his  opinion 
or  his  influence  to  the  highest  bidder :  I  have 
often  been  disgusted,  not  less  with  the  cowardly 
license  assumed  by  the  bar  in  their  comments 
on  third  parties,  under  the  convenient  plea  of 

forensic  liberty  of  speech,  than  I  have  with  the 

11*  * 


250  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

apathy    of  the  judge    who    heard   them,    and 
silently  permitted  the  scandalous  abuse  that  he 
ought  to  have  checked  with  solemn  indignation. 
On  some  rare  occasions,  when  the  language  of 
counsel  has  grossly  exceeded  the  limits  of  com- 
mon decency,  and  the  insulted  witness  has  been 
provoked  into  keen  retort,  the  bench  perchance 
has  interfered ;  but  how  ?  by  haughty  reproof 
to  the  unfortunate  victim,   and  expostulation 
with  his  vulgar  assailant,  so  mild  and  so  equivo- 
cal,  as  to  imply    sympathy   with   the  offense, 
rather  than  stern  rebuke  to  the  offender.     It  is 
a   national  feeling   to    love  and  reverence  our 
judges,  and  long  may  it  continue  to  be  so  :  but 
they  little  know  how  they  shake  that  love  and 
reverence  to  their  very  foundation,  when  they 
thus  betray    a   partiality  to   their  corps,   that 
tends  to  deter  all  men  of  respectability  and  of 
nervous  temperament,  from  the  highest  duty  of 
a  citizen,  bearing  his   testimony  to  truth  and 
justice  in  open  court!     Such  is  the  horror  of 
the  witness  box,  that  I  have  often  known  a 
good  and  honest  case  abandoned,  to  spare  a 
relative,  or  a  friend,  the  pain  of  entering  it ; 
and   on   one   occasion,  I   have  even  known  a 
v  itness  pay  the  debt  and  costs,  rather  than  be 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  251 

exposed  to  the  risk  of  insult  that  he  dared  not 
resent  in  court,  and  would  not  have  brooked 
elsewhere  !  Attorneys,  however,  ought  to  recol- 
lect that  the  same  man  who  insults  them  for 
the  guinea  lie  receives  from  their  opponent, 
will  readily  eat  his  own  words  if  they  choose 
to  give  him  two ;  and,  consequently,  that  this, 
as  far  as  they  are  concerned,  is  the  full  value 
of  the  libel.  "Where  counsel  offend  this  way 
habitually,  their  names  should  be  written  on  a 
black  board  in  the  hall  of  the  Law  Institution, 
as  proscribed  men.  This  would  speedily  work 
reform. 


252  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

"  Doubtless  the  pleasure  is  as  great 
Of  being  cheated,  as  to  cheat."— Butler. 

Yet  it  is  a  pleasure  which  in  duty  to  our 
clients,  we  luust  deny  ourselves,  however  profit- 
able may  be  the  litigation  into  which  they 
sometimes   cheat   us. 

I  have  already  hinted  that  the  statements  of 
an  angry  client  are  never  to  be  received  for 
gospel.  It  was  long  before  I  discovered  this, 
and  yet  longer  before  I  also  found  that  his 
witnesses  are  rarely  to  be  trusted  at  all !  The 
mistake  is  very  natural :  in  the  first  place  one 
feels  strangely  predisposed  to  place  implicit 
faith  in  an  honest  fellow  who  gives  the  best 
possible  proof  of  sound  judgment  in  choosing 
you  as  his  adviser ;  and  then,  one's  pocket 
sympathies  are  wonderfully  excited  in  his 
behalf,  (especially  if  the  case  is  a  heavy  one,) 
and   after  all,  he  must  know  his  own  affairs 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  253 

better  than  we  can  do !  Moreover,  when  it 
does  happen  that  ex  superabundanti  cautela,  we 
ask  him  for  his  proofs,  there  never  is  any  lack 
of  evidence.  "  Mr.  Johnson  is  a  witness !  he 
heard  every  syllable !  and  Mr.  Atkins  managed 
the  whole  business,  and  can  vouch  for  every- 
thing ! "  The  next  day  he  brings  Mr.  Johnson 
and  Mr.  Atkins,  and  they  do  vouch  for  every- 
thing, and  in  the  state  of  excitement  under 
which  they  see  their  employers  labor,  would 
willingly  vouch  for  ten  times  more  if  necessary, 
and  find  twenty  other  witnesses  to  back  them. 
No  wonder  if  the  attorney  is  deeply  impressed 
with  the  conviction  that  all  is  true  and  accu- 
rate !  especially  when  the  bare  intimation  of  a 
doubt  will  be  interpreted  into  the  lie  direct, 
and  resented  as  a  serious  insult  by  the  client, 
who  came  good  -  naturedly  to  employ  him ! 
Hence  the  writ  is  issued,  retainers  are  given, 
and  it  is  not  till  the  eve  of  trial,  when  costs  to 
a  large  amount  have  been  incurred  on  both 
sides,  that  the  attorney  begins  to  think  it 
strange  that  so  clear  a  case  should  be  so  reso- 
lutely defended ;  he  again  catechizes  his  client, 
who  by  this  time  has  become  calm;  and  their 
employer  being  calm,  the  clerks  become  doubt- 


254  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

ful,  whereupon  the  "very  clear  case"  becomes 
as  hazy  as  the  city  in  November,  and  the  only 
obvious  point  remaining  is,  that  the  notice  of 
trial  should  be  countermanded,  and  the  costs 
taxed  and  paid !  Mutatis  mutandis,  the  same 
result  still  oftener  happens  on  the  defendant's 
side.  When,  however,  the  excitement  has  sub- 
sided, and  the  sober  certainty  of  costs  only 
occupies  the  mind,  it  is  rare  indeed  to  find  a 
client  possessed  of  that  amiable  disposition, 
that  he  will  admit  having  had  "  value  received  " 
in  the  sympathizing  credulity  with  which  his 
attorney  listened  in  the  first  instance  to  the  tale 
of  his  supposed  wrongs :  on  the  contrary,  he 
blames  you  behind  your  back,  and  reproaches 
you  to  your  face  for  "  not  having  set  him 
right,"  forgetting  that  had  you  even  attempted 
it,  at  a  moment  when  he  would  not  believe  the 
possibility  of  his  being  wrong,  he  would  have 
made  a  quarrel  of  it,  and  gone  elsewhere  for 
advice ! 

An  absurd  blunder  of  this  kind  once  oc- 
curred to  me,  which,  though  of  trifling  pecu- 
niary amount,  will  serve  to  illustrate  my 
meaning.  A  friend  who  resided  at  a  consider- 
able distance  from  town  had  a  quantity  of  old 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  255 

family  plate,  which  he  wished  to  be  cleaned 
and  repaired  by  a  London  jeweler.  He  trans- 
mitted the  plate  chest,  with  a  large  parcel  of 
papers,  separately  packed  up,  to  his  agent, 
with  directions  to  leave  the  plate  chest  at  the 
jeweler's,  and  retain  the  papers.  These  direc- 
tions were  literally  complied  with  as  regarded 
the  plate,  but  not  having  a  convenient  place  to 
deposit  the  papers  in,  he  sent  them  to  the 
jeweler's  along  with  the  chest.  After  two  or 
three  months,  the  plate  was  sent  home,  and  the 
jeweler  at  the  same  time  returned  the  paper 
parcel  to  the  agent.  My  country  friend  on 
arriving  in  town,  a  considerable  time  after, 
applied  to  the  agent  for  the  papers  which  he 
had  sent  to  him ;  the  parcel  was  delivered  up, 
but  on  opening  it  some  turnpike  bonds  were 
missed !  The  agent  declared  he  had  never 
received  them,  nor  even  opened  the  parcel 
beyond  removing  the  outside  envelope.  A  vio- 
lent altercation  ensued,  in  which  my  client 
used  the  terms  "  thief,"  and  "  swindler,"  some- 
what emphatically,  and  was,  therefore,  some- 
what emphatically  kicked  out  of  the  agent's 
chambers.  In  the  full  tide  of  fury  he  came  to 
me,  attended  by  his  servant. 


256  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

"  I  have  been  robbed,  Mr.  Sliarpe !  robbed 
mid  kicked  !  yes,  actually  kicked,  Mr.  Sharpe  ! 
haven't  I,  John  ?" 

"  Sure  you  have,  Sir! "  answered  the  groom. 

"  Robbed  !  kicked  !  what  do  you  mean !  was 
it  in  the  street  ?  " 

"  Master  was  kicked  into  the  street,  Sir,  sure 
enough  ! " 

"Ay,  Mr.  Sharpe!"  kicked  into  the  street 
by  the  ruffian  that  robbed  me." 

"  What,  in  open  day !  we  must  go  to  Bow 
street ;  tell  me  the  facts  while  my  clerk  calls  a 
coach." 

But  on  hearing  the  circumstances  as  above 
detailed,  it  occurred  to  me  that  even  the  charge 
of  embezzlement  could  scarcely  be  sustained, 
though  I  entertained  no  doubt  that  the  man 
had  sold  or  pledged  the  bonds,  especially  when 
after  another  minute  search,  everything  else 
was  discovered  in  the  parcel.  My  client  had 
brought  his  servant  with  him  to  confirm  his 
statement,  and  John  swore  stoutly  that  he  had 
packed  the  plate  chest,  and  made  up  the  parcel 
himself.  He  had  grown  up  in  his  master's 
service  from  childhood,  and  I  checked  a  suspi- 
cion   rhpt     flashed    across  my   mind,    that   he 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  257 

might  himself  be  the  thief.  The  agent  had  a 
fair  reputation,  and  was  supposed  to  be  in 
good  circumstances.  I  therefore,  without  more 
hesitation,  brought  the  action.  My  client  left 
town,  and  proceedings  went  on  in  the  usual 
course,  till  the  sittings  approached.  I  then 
thought  it  high  time  to  take  instructions  for 
my  brief,  and  subpoena  John.  It  was  also 
necessary  to  prove  the  safe  carriage  of  the 
parcel  till  its  delivery;  and  to  collect  this 
evidence,  I  put  myself  into  the  mail,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  my  client's  residence  in  the  country. 
I  obtained  all  the  evidence  I  wanted  in  the 
course  of  two  or  three  days,  but  he  must  needs 
have  a  party  to  meet  me  at  dinner  the  day 
before  I  left  him.  It  consisted  of  five  or  six  of 
the  neighboring  gentry  and  their  families,  and 
the  splendor  of  the  sideboard  on  which  his 
plate  was  now  set  out  for  the  first  time  since  its 
return  from  the  jeweler,  naturally  led  the  con- 
versation to  the  approaching  trial.  Many  and 
bitter  were  the  comments  made  on  the  assurance 
of  the  agent  in  carrying  matters  to  such  ex- 
tremes; and  many  and  cordial  were  the  good 
wishes  for  a  safe  deliverance  to  the  host. 

•■  Ay,  ay,"  said   Mr.  Hubblebubble,  joining 


258  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

in  the  chorus,  "  I'll  get  some  satisfaction  for 
my  kick  now,  or  the  devil's  in  it.  What  costs 
will  he  have  to  pay?  eh!  Sharpe?" 

"  The  costs  on  both  sides,  I  should  think, 
will  be  near  two  hundred,  taking  in  the  five 
witnesses  I  sent  up  to-day." 

"  Two  hundred  !  is  that  all  ?  well !  'tis  some 
comfort  to  make  him  pay  two  hundred  pounds 
for  smart  money;  mind  you  lay  it  on  thick, 
Sharpe :  don't  spare  the  fellow." 

Here  John,  who  had  just  entered  the  room 
with  a  bottle  or  two  of  very  choice  claret,  in 
which  his  master  wished  to  drink  to  our  suc- 
cess, came  close  to  his  elbow,  with  the  look  of  a 
famished  pointer  caught  in  the  larder,  holding 
the  silver -mounted  claret  jug  in  his  hand,  and 
whispered  into  his  ear  in  a  semi -audible  tone, 

"Master!  Master!  can  I  speak  to  you,  Master?" 

"  Speak  out,  fool !  what's  the  matter  ?  is  the 
cellar  robbed  ?  " 

"  The  bonds,  master  ! — the  action — the  claret 
—  the  bonds  — "  hesitating  between  each  word 
as  if  it  choked  him,  and  apparently  as  much 
afraid  to  finish  his  explanation,  as  the  said 
pointer  to  finish  his  meal  in  the  face  of  the 
angry  cook, 


IX    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  259 

""What  do  you  stand  jabbering  there  for, 
like  a  crow  in  the  colic  ?  speak  out,  Sir  !  " 

"  I've  brought  the  claret,  Sir,  'tis  the  right 
6ort,  Sir,  I'm  sure,  as  sure  as  I  packed  the  plate 
chest,  master!  but  the  bonds,  —  the  bonds,  Sir, 
—  the  claret  jug,  —  " 

He  obviously  dared  not  proceed,  and  gaped 
open-mouthed  at  his  master,  who  returned  the 
gape  with  interest,  having  some  undefined  pre- 
sentiment of  evil,  but  too  tipsy  to  arrange  his 
ideas:  I  guessed  the  solution,  and  came  to 
their  common  assistance. 

"  I  suppose  you  removed  the  false  bottom  of 
the  plate  chest  in  getting  out  the  jug,  and  there 
found  the  bonds?" 

"  Exactly  so,  Sir.  Miss  Letitia  thought  they 
would  be  safer  there  than  in  the  parcel,  and  put 
them  in  while  I  was  in  the  kitchen  ! " 

Hubblebubble  was  sobered  in  an  instant, 
though  one  universal  titter,  more  painful  even 
than  the  kick,  pervaded  the  room :  it  was  too 
much  for  mortal  patience;  he  pushed  back  his 
chair — put  down  the  untasted  claret — and 
alternately  staring  first  at  John,  and  then  at 
me,  slowly  and  painfully  drawled  out  the  ques- 
tion, 


260  ADVENTURES    OF    AN   ATTORNEY 

"  Two  hundred  pounds,  did  you  say,  Mr. 
Sharpe  ?  two  hundred  pounds  for  costs  ?  " 

"Yes,  Sir." 

"  Then  why  the  devil  didn't  you  think  of 
this  before,  Sir  ? " 

But  the  laugh  was  too  hearty,  and  too  well 
merited,  to  allow  ill -humor  to  remain.  Before 
the  claret  was  finished,  the  kick  was  acknowl- 
edged to  be  deserved,  and  the  action  was  settled 
by  that  night's  post. 

It  would  have  required  more  than  ordinary 
acuteness  to  have  escaped  this  catastrophe,  and 
I  cannot  to  this  day  confess  to  error  on  my 
part,  but  this  was  not  a  common  case.  I  will 
mention  one  of  more  frequent  occurrence. 

Every  Cantab,  however  steady  his  career, 
and  I  must  acknowledge  that  mine  was  not 
remarkable  for  sobriety,  is  sure  of  falling  in 
with  some  wild  acquaintance,  who  in  after 
years  stands  in  great  need  of  assistance  in  one 
way  or  other.  It  is  an  easy  transition  from 
academic  "gaiety"  to  metropolitan  dissipation ; 
and  the  dissipation  of  young  men  "  on  the 
town,"  has  gradual,  but  certain  stages  from 
difficulty  to  shifts,  —  from  shifts  to  gaming, — 
from   gaming  to  the  depths  of  ruin.     One  of 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  261 

these  unhappy  wretches  called  on  me  in  the 
stage  of  shifts ;  his  brother  had  remitted  him 
three  hundred  pounds  from  India,  by  a  good 
bill  on  merchants  in  the  city.  The  spendthrift 
took  the  bill  to  his  agent  to  be  discounted  ;  the 
agent  declined  discounting  it,  but  retained  the 
bill  till  it  arrived  at  maturity,  and  received  the 
money.  My  client  applied  for  it,  and  was 
refused ;  he  came  to  me  with  this  story,  but  he 
told  me  nothing  else;  it  was  "  a  clear  case." 
I  demanded  payment  by  letter,  and  obtained  no 
answer.  I  called  on  the  agent  half-a-dozen 
times,  but  he  was  never  at  home.  I  arrested 
the  man,  but  he  put  in  bail,  and  defended  the 
action ;  his  attorney  was  not  less  cautious  than 
himself.  I  could  get  no  information  —  no  clue 
to  the  intended  defense;  the  days  of  special 
pleading  had  not  yet  burst  upon  us  in  all  their 
glory,  and  the  plea  left  me  as  ignorant  of  the 
case  as  I  was  before.  I  catechized  my  client 
with  determined  scrutiny. 

"  What  did  he  say  to  you  when  you  gave 
him  the  bill  ?" 

"  He  would  see  about  it." 

"  "Were  you  alone  ?" 

"  Scamperdale  was  with  me." 


262  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

.  "  Did  you  ever  ask  him  to  discount  a  bill 
before?" 

"  Twice,  and  he  did  it." 

"  Have  you  had  many  transactions  with  him  ?" 

"  Of  course  I  have ;  as  agent  for  my  regi- 
ment I  could  not  avoid  it." 

"  Do  you  owe  him  money  ?" 

"  No  !  not  a  farthing." 

"  You  are  certain  ?  " 

"Quite  so." 

Scamperdale  confirmed  the  statement,  and 
we  proceeded  to  trial,  my  counsel,  as  well  as 
myself,  being  assured  of  a  verdict.  Scamper- 
dale  was  put  into  the  bar  to  prove  the  delivery 
of  the  bill ;  but  what  was  my  amazement  at  his 
cross  -  examination ! 

"  You  are  a  brother  officer  of  the  plaintiff? " 

"lam." 

"  You  have  had  many  pecuniary  transactions 
with  him  ?  " 

"  Certainly." 

"  Is  this  your  writing?  "  producing  a  bill  of 
exchange. 

"  It  is." 

"  Did  the  plaintiff  accept  that  bill  for  you?  " 

"  Yes." 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  263 

"  And  who  discounted  it  ?  " 
"  The  defendant." 

"  How  long  has  it  been  over- due  ?  " 
"  I  see  by  the  date  that  it  is  above  two  years  !  " 
It  was  a  bill  for  ,£350,  and  the  defendant 
further  produced  a  letter  from  my  thoughtless 
client,  authorizing  him  to  deduct  it  from  the 
first  moneys  of  his  that  came  to  his  hands.  It 
had  been  the  subject  of  much  angry  correspon- 
dence at  the  time;  but  two  years  are  a  sort  of 
Lethe  to  a  frequenter  of  hells  and  saloons.  He 
had  utterly  forgotten  the  dishonored  acceptance, 
and  I,  to  my  shame  be  it  spoken,  had  also 
forgotten  to  ask  for  all  correspondence  between 
the  parties.  The  plaintiff  was  taken  in  execu- 
tion for  the  costs,  and  when  twenty  detainers 
had  been  lodged,  sold  his  commission,  obtained 
his  discharge  by  a  shilling  in  the  pound,  and 
emerged  from  the  Bench  after  two  years'  im- 
prisonment, a  finished  blackleg ! 

No  matter  what  a  client  says,  or  swears;  no 
matter  what  his  friends,  his  clerks,  or  his 
servants  say,  or  swear,  for  him;  let  the  first  rule 
be,  whatever  facts  are  in  dispute,  or  a  case  seems 
too  clear  to  admit  of  doubt,  and  the  resistance  is 
unaccountable,  to  ask  for  all  correspondence. 


264  ADVENTURES   OP  AN  ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

"  Quot  scelerata  gerat  foemina  mente  dolos!"  —  Ovid. 

Oe  all  witnesses  in  an  honest  cause,  an  in- 
telligent child  is  the  best.  Of  all  witnesses,  in 
any  cause,  a  woman  is  the  worst,  unless  she 
happens  to  be  very  pretty  and  engaging,  and 
then  she  will  answer  the  purpose,  whatever  it 
be,  most  successfully.  The  counsel  examining 
in  chief,  ogles  her  with  one  eye  and  the  jury 
with  the  other,  while  a  marked  suavity  of 
demeanor  seduces  the  fair  debutante  into  perfect 
ease ;  the  gallantry  of  the  bench,  let  his  lord- 
ship be  as  old  as  Methuselah,  bestows  some- 
what more  than  a  transient  glance,  and  wanders 
into  a  conversational  familiarity  on  every  doubt- 
ful or  hesitating  answer.  The  jury,  one  and 
all,  lay  down  their  notes,  fix  both  eyes  and  ears 
on  the  witness-box,  whisper  to  each  other,  smile 
indulgently  on  every  pretty  little  embarras,  and 


IN    SEARCH    0E    PRACTICE.  265 

let  the  lady  swear  what  she  will,  cross  -  examina- 
tion is  out  of  the  question.  Such  outrage  to 
the  charmer's  self-complacency  would  be 
suicidal  to  the  best  of  causes. 

I  once  experienced  a  very  vexatious  illustra- 
tion of  all  this.  I  was  engaged  for  the  plaintiff 
in  an  action  for  libel,  where  a  justification  had 
been  pleaded.  The  libel  was  a  gross  oue,  and 
we  were  going  on  swimmingly  towards  ample 
damages.  The  action  was  founded  upon  an 
imputation  of  falsehood  conveyed  in  very  coarse 
language,  in  having  charged  a  master  with 
oppressive  and  cruel  treatment  of  a  servant. 
The  servant  herself  had  been  put  into  the  box, 
and  fully  bore  out  the  heavy  charges  my  client 
had  preferred  on  her  behalf;  her  quiet  and 
collective  manner  of  giving  her  evidence  had 
obviously  produced  a  favorable  impression  on 
the  jury.  To  discredit  her  testimony,  a  young 
lady  of  only  two  -  and  -  twenty ,  the  daughter  of 
the  defendant,  was  called.  She  was  uncom- 
monly pretty,  I  might  even  say  beautiful,  and 
t'he  elegance  of  her  manners  and  dress  rendered 
her  irresistible.  "Wilde,  who  was  my  counsel, 
was   horror  -  struck    with   the   apparition :    he 

leaned   over  the  desk  to  me,  after  attentively 
12 


266  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

eyeing  the  jury,  "  Sharpe,  we  are  done!"  and 
'-done"  we  were  most  assuredly,  though  her 
evidence,  strictly  weighed,  was  not  worth  a 
straw,  for  the  jury  gave  us  but  live  pounds,  and 
we  thought  ourselves  fortunate  in  getting  even 
that,  under  such  untoward  circumstances. 

My  reader  will  say  that  this  instance  mili- 
tates  against   my   general   position,    and  to  a 
certain  extent  I  admit  it ;  but  for  one  fair  wit- 
ness like  this  you  will   meet  with  twenty  as 
ugly  as  Hecate,  and  as  nervous  as  a  young  orator 
on  his  first  appearance  on  the  platform;  nor, 
and  I  grieve  to  say  it,  is  youth,   or  sex,  or 
beauty,  any  security  for  honest  testimony:  the 
most  disgusting,  the  most  dreadful  instance  of 
spontaneous,  deliberate  perjury,  that  I  ever  met 
with  in  all  my  professional  life,  was  in  one  in 
whom  all  these  attractions  were  combined,  and 
that  to  no  common  degree.     My  work  is  neces- 
sarily anonymous;  but  my  anecdotes,  though 
for  the  reasons!  have  given  at  the  eommence- 
ment,  in  some  measure  disguised,  are  all  sub- 
stantially true.     In  that  which  I  am  about  to 
mention,  I  will  be  literally,  as  well  as  substan- 
tially accurate,  that  I  may  not  be  charged  with 
a  libel  on  human  nature,  bad  as  that  nature  is. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  267 

It  was  an  object  of  great  importance  to  a 
client  of  mine,  of  great  respectability,  to  trace 
the  steps  of  a  man  on  a  given  day ;  this  man 
being  suspected  of  certain  designs  highly  in- 
jurious to  his  family,  and  the  justice  of  those 
suspicions  depending  in  some  degree  on  the 
locale  of  the  man  at  the  time  in  question.  I 
had  reason  to  believe  that  this  man  was  at 
Tetsworth,  on  a  Tuesday,  on  the  very  day  that 
my  client's  daughter  chanced  to  be  on  her  way 
from  Oxford  to  town.  I  should  premise  that 
it  was  a  case  in  which  marriage  was  impossible. 
She  called  on  me  by  her  father's  directions  the 
day  after  her  arrival,  to  deliver  a  message  of 
some  importance.  I  had  for  many  years  been 
on  terms  of  close  intimacy  with  all  the  family, 
and  had  previously  been  requested  by  her 
father  to  expostulate  with  her  on  the  degrading 
and  dangerous  tendency  of  her  acquaintance 
with  Mr.  Ball,  who  was  a  low  tradesman,  much 
her  inferior  in  station  and  birth.  It  was  about 
three  months  before  this  visit  to  me,  that  the 
expostulation  had  taken  place,  and  as  it  was 
made  with  kindness,  so  it  was  received  with 
grateful  acquiescence.  After  she  had  communi- 
cated her  message,  I  expressed  a  hope  that  the 


268  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

domestic  peace  had  been  uninterrupted  since 
our  last  meeting;  she  assured  me  that  she  had 
followed  my  advice  so  strictly,  that  she  had 
broken  off  all  acquaintance  with  Mr.  Ball,  and 
had  neither  seen  nor  heard  from  him  for  three 
months  past.  I  expressed  my  extreme  satisfac- 
tion at  this,  and  we  parted.  On  the  Thursday 
she  again  called  on  me  to  say  that  she  was 
returning  to  the  country  the  following  day,  and 
would  be  happy  to  take  back  any  message  to 
her  father;  but  it  so  happened  that  I  had 
business  to  transact  very  near  their  country 
residence,  and  was  going  down  myself.  I 
told  her  so,  and  promised  myself  the  pleasure 
of  being  her  escort.  I  observed  that  she  turned 
very  pale,  while  she  muttered  something  about 
the  unexpected  satisfaction,  and  so  forth,  and 
did  not  seem  half  so  well  pleased  as  she  pro- 
fessed herself  to  be.  However,  we  settled  that 
we  would  leave  town  the  following  day  by  the 
coach,  and  I  engaged  to  secure  her  place  with 
my  own. 

In  less  than  an  hour  she  returned  to  my 
office  to  say  that  unexpected  circumstances  had 
compelled  her  to  defer  her  departure  till  Satur- 
day afternoon.     I  was  surprised,  but  made  no 


IN    SEARCH      \     PRACTICE.  269 

remark,  and  adhering  to  iny  own  plans,  I  left 
town  for  Oxford  by  the  coach,  at  the  time  I 
proposed.  We  changed  horses  beyond  Tets- 
worth,  but  on  passing  through  the  village,  the 
coachman  drew  up  at  the  door  of  the  inn,  and 
asked  for  a  great  coat  that  had  been  left  there 
by  the  gentleman  that  he  took  up  on  Tuesday. 
Sundry  coats  were  produced,  but  it  was  difficult 
to  decide  which  was  the  right  one ;  after  much 
description  of  the  passenger's  person,  the  land- 
lord appeared,  and  put  an  end  to  the  difficulty, 
by  producing  a  card  which  he  said  had  been 
left  by  the  owner  of  one  of  them,  to  identify 
his  own  when  he  sent  for  it.  The  coachman 
immediately  recollected  the  name,  and  received 
the  coat,  asking  at  the  same  time  for  the  card, 
that  he  might  remember  where  he  was  to  send 
it,  as  he  had  forgotten  the  passenger's  address. 
I  returned  to  town  the  following  day  by  the 
same  coach,  and  as  we  approached  London,  I 
reminded  the  man  of  his  carelessness,  and  in- 
quired if  he  still  had  the  card,  little  suspecting 
the  discovery  to  which  it  would  lead ;  he  pro- 
duced it,  and  I  offered  to  note  down  the  address 
on  his  way-bill;  having  done  so,  I  retained 
the  card,  which  had  the  name  of  Ball  engraved 


270  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

on  it,  in  the  usual  form  of  a  visiting  card,  and 
not  like  a  tradesman's.  Hence  I  felt  doubtful 
of  its  belonging  to  the  party  suspected. 

On  arriving  at  my  office,  I  dispatched  to  the 
lady  a  letter  that  I  had  brought  for  her  from 
her  friends,  and  I  enclosed  it  in  a  note  from 
myself,  requesting  to  see  her  before  she  left 
town  the  following  day.  She  called;  I  will 
give  the  conversation  as  it  passed.  After  the 
usual  salutations,  she  proceeded  : 

"I  shall  have  a  dull  journey  to-morrow, 
Mr.  Sharpe ;  I  am  now  sorry  that  I  could  not 
go  with  you." 

"  So  am  I,  Mrs.  Haller,  but  you  may  chance 
to  fall  in  with  more  amusing  fellow -travelers." 

"  Oh  no  !  I  fear  I  shall  be  all  alone,  as  I  was 
in  coming  up." 

"  It  was  on  this  point  that  I  wanted  to  speak 
to  you ;  had  you  no  companion  then  ?  " 

"  Only  part  of  the  way ;  a  lady  got  in  at 
Uxb  ridge." 

"  Well,  that  is  very  strange,  for  I  understood 
from  the  coachman  that  a  gentleman  got  in  at 
Tetsworth." 

"  Dear  me !  I  quite  forgot  that,  so  he  did ; 
but  he  only  traveled  a  mile  or  two." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  271 

I  saw  she  was  practicing  on  me,  and  I  pur- 
posely changed  the  subject;  she  remained  for 
half  an  hour  while  I  wrote  to  her  father  on  the 
business  in  which  I  was  engaged  for  him ;  as  I 
was  about  to  seal  the  letter,  she  asked  to  look 
at  it.  I  guessed  her  motive,  though  she  excused 
her  curiosity  on  the  pretext  of  wishing  to  give 
any  verbal  explanation,  if  I  wanted  to  convey  a 
further  message  by  her.  After  she  had  read  it, 
and  found  that  it  contained  no  allusion  to  her- 
self, her  countenance  brightened  up,  and  she 
hastily  rose  to  take  leave  As  she  approached 
the  door,  the  letter  being  still  unsealed,  I  said 
to  her  very  gravely, 

"  Mrs.  Haller,  I  should  like  to  add  a  post- 
script to  this  letter,  if  you  will  allow  me." 

"  What  may  it  be  ? " 

"  You  know  your  poor  father's  intense 
anxiety  on  a  certain  subject ;  may  I  assure  him 
that  your  connexion  with  Ball  is  wholly  at  an 
end?" 

"  You  may  indeed  !  on  my  honor  you  may." 

"  And  that  you  have  never  seen  him,  or 
written  to  him  since  that  unfortunate  quarrel  ?  " 

"You  may  tell  him  so  with  truth,  and  I 
shall  be  obliged  to  vou  for  it." 


27-  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  With  -perfect  truth  ? " 

"  I  declare  before  God,  you  may." 

"  That  is  a  strong  expression,  especially  from 
a  lady's  lips.     Are  you  serious?" 

"  I  repeat  in  the  presence  of  tlie  Almighty,  that 
I  have  never  seen,  or  communicated  with  the  man 
for  the  last  tltree  months.  I  hate  and  despise 
Mm!" 

"  That  is  indeed  a  solemn  oath — I  cannot 
doubt  it," 

And  I  did  not;  but  in  her  eagerness  to 
dispel  suspicions  which  she  felt  were  too  well 
founded,  the  unhappy  woman  a  third  time, 
with  an  impassioned  energy  that  was  almost  ter- 
rific, reiterated  the  awful  adjuration  in  still 
more  emphatic  terms ! !  I  could  not  discredit 
her,  and  was  convinced  that  I  had  been  misled 
by  some  singular  coincidence  of  name. 

"  I  rejoice,"  I  said,  "  that  I  have  asked  you ; 
here  is  some  strange  mistake  that  ought,  for 
your  own  sake,  to  be  cleared  up,  and  (producing 
the  card)  we  must  find  out  to  whom  this  be- 
longs ;  I  got  it  at  Tetsworth." 

Never,  to  my  dying  hour,  can  I  forget  the 
scene  that  followed  !  No  sooner  did  the  miser- 
able woman    see  the  card,  than  she  uttered  a 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  273 

maniac  shriek,  gazed  at  me  with  a  wild  and 
vacant  look,  and  fell  senseless  in  my  arms !  It 
was  no  affectation.  Shame,  terror,  and  re- 
morse, gave  dreadful  sincerity  to  the  scene. 
I  dared  not  call  for  help,  lest  in  the  first  return 
of  consciousness  her  feelings  should  betray  her 
to  third  parties.  A  glass  of  water  that  I  threw 
suddenly  on  her  face,  recalled  her  to  life,  and 
though  she  continued  hysterical  for  some  time, 
she  rallied  with  a  facility  that  astonished  me. 
She  now  confessed  the  assignation,  and  much 
more  of  deeper  guilt  than  I  desired  to  hear,  but 
her  openness  now  would  not  be  restrained ;  it 
was  as  if  it  comforted  her  thus  to  atone  for  her 
late  duplicity.  In  concert  with  her  father,  I 
easily  succeeded  in  breaking  off  that  con- 
nexion ;  indeed  so  easily,  that  it  was  clear,  if 
affection  ever  had  existed,  it  was  for  ever  gone  ; 
we  even  saved  her  from  exposure,  but  I  fear 
that  we  wholly  failed  in  restoring  her  to  a 
better  path,  for  as  it  afterwards  appeared,  this 
had  not  been  her  first,  nor  even  her  second 
deviation  from  it.  Yet  she  was  young  —  fair 
as  an  angel  from  heaven,  and  her  lovely  features 
seemed  stamped  with  the  expression  of  truth 

itself.     Years  have  rolled  over  since  that  mel- 
12* 


27-1  ADVENTURE*    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

ancholy  scene,  and  I  have  seen  her  but  once 
since  it  occurred;  that  once  was  sufficient;  she 
is  still  young,  but  all  her  beauty  is  gone ! 

We  cannot  be  too  guarded  in  the  confidence 
we  repose  in  female  testimony,  or  too  pointed 
in  our  preliminary  examinations.  Miss  Stan- 
ton was  a  young  lady  of  eighteen,  who  had 
certainly  been  very  ill-used  by  a  thoughtless 
coxcomb,  a  clergyman  of  six  -  and  -  twenty  : 
like  many  rascals  of  the  same  species,  he  had 
won  the  girl's  affections,  and  breaking  off  his 
acquaintance  with  her,  traduced  her  character 
as  an  excuse  for  his  heartless  caprice.  Her 
parents,  most  unwisely  in  my  opinion,  brought 
an  action  for  the  breach  of  promise.  To  prove 
the  promise,  we  were  to  call  the  sister,  exactly  a 
year  younger  than  herself.  I  was  assured  by 
the  father  and  mother,  that  her  evidence  would 
be  quite  satisfactory,  but  she  was  very  reluctant 
to  be  examined  by  me ;  for  this  very  reason  I 
resolved  to  interrogate  her  closely.  She  came 
to  my  office  accompanied  by  her  mother. 

"  Well,  Miss  Stanton,  you  were  a  good  deal 
in  your  sister's  confidence?" 

"  No,  sir,"  playing  with  a  reticule,  and  look- 
ing sheepishly  on  the  ground. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  275 

"You  were  aware  of  her  intimacy  with 
Thornhill?" 

"  No,  Sir,"  taking  her  handkerchief  out  of 
the  said  reticule,  and  unconsciously  replacing  it. 

"  I  believe  you  have  seen  them  often  to- 
gether ? " 

"  Sometimes,  Sir."  She  had  now  tied  the 
strings  into  a  complicated  knot,  and  was  in- 
tently engaged  in  untying  it. 

"  Attend  to  me,  my  dear  young  lady ;  I  am 
speaking  of  important  matters." 

"  Oh,  la !  Sir,  what  do  you  mean  ?  I  know 
nothing  about  it,  I'm  sure ;  do  I,  Ma  ? " 

"  Never  mind  your  Mamma,  my  dear,  but 
just  answer  my  questions." 

"You  had  better  ask  my  sister  herself,  Sir; 
she  can  tell  you  all  about  it,  I  suppose." 

"  No  doubt ;  but  she  can't  speak  for  herself, 
you  know." 

"  Indeed  she  can,  Sir ;  she's  never  much  at  a 
loss." 

"  Well ;  at  present  she  is  not  here,  so  I  would 
rather  hear  you." 

"  Oh  !  Ma  can  bring  her  to-morrow;  won't 
you,  Ma?"  and  here  the  little  fool  again  took 
out  her  handkerchief,  and  affected  to  wipe  her  eyes. 


276  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

"  She  is  very  nervous,  Mr.  Sharpe ;  she  is 
easily  excited,  poor  thing;  and  she  feels  very 
deeply  for  her  sister;  we  had  better  defer  it 
to  another  day,  Sir." 

"  There  is  no  time  like  the  present,  Mrs.  Stan- 
ton ;  I  think  she  will  be  more  at  her  ease  if  you 
will  leave  her  alone  with  me  for  five  minutes." 

"  Don't  go,  Ma  !  pray  don't  leave  me,  Ma !  " 
sobbed  out  the  simpleton.  "I'm  sure  I  know 
nothing  at  all  about  it;  pray  don't  go,  Ma!" 

However,  as  Ma  !  was  still  coaxing,  and  caress- 
ing, and  consoling  her,  I  saw  she  would  only 
make  matters  worse,  so  I  insisted  on  having  a 
tete-a-tete,  and  prevailed  on  the  old  lady  to 
withdraw  into  the  next  room.  As  soon  as  she 
was  gone,  I  changed  my  mode  of  attack. 

"  ISTow,  Mary,  tell  me  all  about  it," 

"  "Well,  where  am  I  to  begin  ?"  she  asked, 
promptly  responding  to  the  tone  of  levity  in 
which  I  addressed  her. 

"  Where  you  please,  my  dear." 

"  Oh  dear,  Mr.  Sharpe !  you  are  so  funny ;  but 
I'll  tell  you  all  I  know,  only  don't  tell  Pa  or 
Ma  :  promise  me  that,  won't  you  ?  I  won't  say 
a  word  if  you  don't !  I  won't  indeed." 

"Never  fear;  you  are  quite  safe." 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  277 

""Well,  then,  you  must  know  that  Mr.  Thorn- 
hill,  —  but  is  that  door  shut  ?"  and  she  rose  from 
her  chair  to  examine  it,  and  then  listened  to  try 
if  she  could  overhear  anything :  having  satisfied 
herself  on  this  point,  she  resumed  her  seat,  again 
had  recourse  to  her  reticule,  tied  and  untied  the 
knot,  and  then  began  a  second  time, 

"  But  do  you  want  to  hear  about  Mr.  Thorn- 
hill,  or  Anne  ?" 

"  Tell  your  story  your  own  way,  Mary." 

"Don't  you  think  Mr.  Thornhill  is  a  very 
nice  man,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?" 

I  stared  at  her,  wholly  unable  to  guess  where 
this  was  to  end,  and  made  no  answer,  lest  I 
should  provoke  her  to  draw  back. 

"  Well,  I  see  you  don't  like  him  any  more 
than  the  rest ;  but  he  certainly  is  very  hand- 
some, and  dresses  very  well." 

"  \Yhen  did  you  first  become  acquainted  with 
him?" 

"  Oh  !  you  know  he  was  paying  his  addresses 
to  Anne  when  I  came  home  from  school." 

"  "What  did  he  say  to  her?" 

"  I  really  don't  know,  I  never  attended  to 
him,  till  one  day  he  took  me  on  his  knee,  and 
asked  me  how  I  liked  him." 


278  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

"What!  did  he  pay  his  addresses  to  you 
too?" 

"  La !  no,  not  then ;  he  was  all  after  Anne, 
at  that  time." 

"  And  how  far  did  he  go  with  you?" 

"That's  not  fair,  Mr.  Sharpe;  I  ought  not 
to  tell  you  that;  you  shouldn't  ask  me." 

"  I  don't  want  to  pry  into  your  secrets,  but  I 
suppose  he  kissed  you  now  and  then  ?" 

"Hush,  hush,  Mr.  Sharpe!  Ma  will  hear 
you ; "  running  to  the  door  to  see  that  it  was 
still  closed. 

"  And  he  quarrelled  with  Anne  on  your  ac- 
count, didn't  he?" 

"  Well,  if  he  did,  it  was  not  my  fault,  nor 
his  either !     Anne  was  so  cross  with  him." 

"  When  did  you  last  hear  from  him?" 

"  Who  told  you  that  he  wrote  to  me?  I  must 
have  dropped  the  letter ! "  opening  and  search- 
ing her  reticule  with  obvious  alarm;  "oh  no! 
here  it  is,  all  safe,"  returning  a  letter  into  the 
bag,  "  but.  you  promised  me  you  would  not 
tell  Ma." 

Such  was  the  innocent  young  lady  on  whom 
the  anxious  parents  relied,  to  sustain  the  char- 
acter    of    her    deserted   sister!    of    course   the 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  279 

action  was  abandoned,  and  about  twelve  months 
after,  the  little  coquette  eloped  with  the  reverend 
Lothario. 


280  ADVENTURES    OF  AN   ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER    XVIII. 

"Crede  ratem  ventis,  animum  ne  crede  puellis."  — Ovid. 

There  is  this  marked  distinction  to  be  ob- 
served in  the  management  of  children,  and 
female  witnesses,  —  the  former  cannot  be  ex- 
amined too  lightly ;  the  latter  must  be  probed 
to  the  bottom.  The  child  must  be  reminded 
of  time,  place,  and  circumstance,  and  these 
facts  may  be  impressed  on  the  recollection,  by 
quietly  collating  them  with  holidays,  birthdays, 
sight -seeing,  or  any  other  incidents  dear  to 
infantine  memory;  but  there  our  duty  ends: 
every  word  said  to  a  witness  under  fourteen, 
and  sometimes  much  above  that  age,  that  tends 
to  open  his  understanding  to  the  direct  or 
collateral  importance  of  a  given  fact,  tends  to 
alarm,  and  by  alarming,  to  confuse  or  em- 
barrass him ;  not  that  he  seeks  to  trim  his  evi- 
dence, but  that  he  fears  the  consequences  of  it, 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  281 

and  thus  takes  elaborate  pains  to  correct,  when 
if  he  spoke  fearlessly,  he  would  be  naturally 
correct  without  exertion.  Whichever  way  he 
may  betray  anxiety,  whether  for  or  against  the 
party  calling  him,  it  tells  equally  in  favor  of  an 
opponent;  for  counsel  will  always,  with  an 
ingenuity  that  though  professional  is  malevo- 
lent, ascribe  embarrassment  to  the  shame  of 
conscious  disingenuousness.  Juries  are  not  yet 
sufficiently  enlightened,  and  I  suspect  never 
will  be,  to  detect  the  artifices  of  counsel,  before 
they  leave  the  jury-box.  An  infant  witness 
may,  and  often  does,  fall  short  of  the  mark,  but 
that  is  comparatively  immaterial,  so  long  as  he 
is  not  embarrassed  in  what  he  does  say;  he 
never  will  prove  himself  embarrassed,  though 
he  may  be  disconcerted,  merely  by  the  rough- 
ness of  cross-examination.  I  have  seen  a  child 
so  frightened  by  it  as  to  burst  into  tears,  aud 
this  tells  as  well  as  a  woman's  pretty  face,  if  the 
evidence  in  chief  has  been  consistent  and 
straight  -  forward  :  but  embarrassment  is  the 
inevitable  result  of  any  previous  preparation, 
however  honestly  intended;  such  as  "mind 
you  don't  forget  this,"  or,  "  be  sure  you  speak 
out,  aud  tell  every  thing  you  heard,"  etc.     In  a 


282  ADVENTURES   OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

■word,  a  child  is  the  best,  or  the  most  dangerous 
witness  you  can  call. 

Women  however,  of  whatever  age,  demand 
the  most  sedulous  attention,  before  you  can 
rely  on  the  evidence  they  profess  to  give ;  the 
anecdotes  that  I  have  just  mentioned  show 
this,  but  as  they  relate  to  artful  females,  and  in 
the  first  case  to  an  unprincipled  one,  they  are 
not  characteristic  of  the  sex,  it  may  be  hoped. 
I  will  give  another  example. 

I  had  occasion  to  prove  the  due  execution  of 
a  will  to  pass  real  estate,  in  a  cause  in  which  I 
was  concerned  for  a  devisee  against  the  heir-at- 
law.  My  client's  title  was  not  altogether  devoid 
of  suspicion,  and  of  course  I  was  the  more 
anxious  about  the  consistency  of  the  attesting 
witnesses :  one  of  them  was  a  young  woman 
of  six  -and  -twenty  ;  very  intelligent,  and  re- 
markably prepossessing  in  her  appearance,  as 
well  as  decidedly  above  her  class  in  point  of 
manners  and  address.  She  had  attested  the 
will  as  Margaret  Connor.  When  I  required 
her  evidence,  she  had  become  Mrs.  M'Carthy: 
at  the  execution  of  the  will  she  was  a  domestic 
in  the  family.  A  few  days  before  the  trial  I 
sent  for  her  to  my  office. 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  283 

"  I  believe,  Mrs.  M'Carthy,  you  are  aware  of 
my  object  in  sending  for  yon  ?  " 

"  It  is  about  Mr.  Brook's  will  I  believe,  Sir." 

"  Yes :  do  you  recollect  the  circumstances 
of  bis  death  ?  " 

"  Perfectly,  Sir :  I  was  in  the  house  at  the 
time,  and  lived  in  the  family  for  three  years 
before  he  died." 

"  How  long  before  his  death  did  he  make 
this  will  ? " 

"  About  six  weeks." 

"  And  the  codicil  ?  " 

"  Only  a  few  days :  I  think  less  than  a  week." 

"  I  see  you  attested  both;  who  asked  you  to 
witness  them?  " 

"  Mr.  Brook." 

"  Where  did  he  execute  them  ?  " 

"He  executed  the  will  in  the  drawing-room, 
while  lying  on  the  sofa :  the  codicil  in  his  bed, 
where  he  died." 

"And  the  other  witnesses  were  present?  " 

"  Oh  yes,  Sir;  they  were  drinking  tea  together 
the  first  time :  they  sent  for  me  the  second." 

Nothing  could  be  more  certain  or  satisfac- 
tory :  I  made  a  note  of  her  evidence,  and  de- 
sired  her  to  call  on  me  again  the  day  before 


284  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

the  trial :  she  came,  however,  the  following 
morning. 

"  I  have  been  thinking  over  it,  Mr.  Sharpe, 
and  I  believe  I  was  not  quite  right." 

"  In  what  respect  ? " 

"  They  were  not  drinking  tea,  Sir,  when  I 
attested  the  will." 

"  Well,  that  is  not  material ;  you  are  sure,  I 
suppose,  that  you  were  all  together  ? " 

"  Yes,  Sir,  I  am  sure  of  that ;  but  I  don't 
know  that  we  were  in  the  drawing-room." 

"  Where  else  might  it  have  been?" 

"Perhaps  in  the  dining-room." 

"  That's  of  no  consequence,  if  you  are  right 
on  other  points ;  think  over  it  all,  and  see  me 
again  to-morrow." 

This  was  a  little  annoying,  especially  as  I 
had  no  opportunity  of  checking  her  by  com- 
paring notes  with  the  other  witnesses,  one  of 
whom  was  dead,  and  the  other  had  married  the 
widow  whose  interest  it  was  to  support  the 
will ;  but  the  next  day  matters  looked  still 
worse.  She  came  in  apparently  under  some 
excitement : 

"I  am  sure,  Mr.  Sharpe,  you  had  better  not 
examine  me." 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  285 

"  I  can't  do  without  you,  but  what  is  the  mat- 
ter now  ?" 

"  I've  thought  over  it  a  good  deal,  Sir,  and 
the  more  I  think,  the  less  I  can  make  of  it ;  I 
can't  be  of  any  use." 

"  You  don't  doubt  your  own  writing,  surely ! 
look  at  the  will  again." 

"  Oh,  I'm  quite  sure  of  all  that,  but  I  can't 
tell  who  Avas  present;  I  wish  you  could  do  with- 
out me." 

"  But  you  say  in  your  attestation,  that  you 
signed  in  each  other's  presence ;  you  would  hard- 
ly sign  your  name  to  a  positive  falsehood  !" 

"  I  hope  not,  Sir ;  but  I  wish  you  would  excuse 
me;  I'm  sure  I  shall  do  you  no  good." 

"  I  must  take  my  chance  of  that." 

The  chance,  however,  seemed  but  a  poor  one ; 
still  I  did  not  despair;  I  suspected  that  she  had 
some  secret  motive  for  wishing  to  avoid  exami- 
nation, and  I  was  bent  on  finding  it  out.  My 
ingenuity  was  racked  in  vain;  she  utterly  dis- 
dained all  motive  but  a  doubt  as  to  the  partic- 
ular circumstances  that  had  occurred  at  the  time, 
and  as  I  could  not  dispense  with  her,  I  gave 
myself  no  further  trouble  about  it :  the  next  day 
she  was  called  and  gave  her  evidence  clearly  and 


28G  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

decidedly,  the  cross-examination  elicited  the 
secret. 

"What  are  you,  Mrs.  Dennis  M'Carthy ?" 

"  The  wife  of  Mr.  Dennis  M'Carthy." 

"What  is  he?" 

"  A  lawyer's  clerk,  but  an  honest  man  not- 
withstanding!" with  .a  little  premature  irritabil- 
ity, for  a  woman  under  cross-examination  al- 
ways bristles  up  like  a  porcupine  at  the  approach 
of  any  noxious  animal;  she  knows  not  how  little 
avails  the  wrath  of  man,  woman,  or  porcupine 
against  forensic  assurance. 

"  No  doubt  of  it,  Mrs.  M'Carthy;  and  I  dare 
say  you  are  an  honest  woman  too.  (Here  she 
blushed  and  looked  down,  a  show  of  emotion 
that  did  not  escape  unnoticed,  as  the  next  ques- 
tion proved.)  In  what  capacity  did  you  live 
with  Mr.  Brook?" 

"I  acted  as  —  nurse,"  (with  hesitation). 

"  Was  that  all  ?" 

"I  assisted  Mrs.  Brook." 

"  In  what  way?" 

"  She  was  often  an  invalid,  and — and — I 
used  to  act  for  her." 

"How?" 

"  In  her  household — duties,"  (still  hesitating.) 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  287 

"All  her  duties,  Mrs.  M'Carthy?"  laying  a 
scarcely  perceptible  emphasis  on  the -word  'all.' 
This  was  too  much  for  Mrs.  McCarthy's  pa- 
tience ;  she  flared  up,  to  use  an  expressive  phrase 
almost  grown  obsolete,  and  pettishly  declared 
that  "she  did  not  understand  the  question." 

"  Oh  yes  you  do,  Mrs.  M'Carthy:  I  mean  all 
her  conjugal  duties  ?" 

"I  won't  answer  you:  you  are  no  gentle- 
man I  am  sure,  though  you  are  a  lawyer !  I 
won't  answer  another  word." 

"  Don't  be  angry,  Mrs.  M'Carthy,  I  will  trou- 
ble you  no  more,"  glancing  expressively  at  the 
jury.  I  fear  the  insinuation  was  too  well  found- 
ed; fortunately  for  me  I  was  able  to  confirm 
her  testimony  as  to  the  presence  of  all  parties  by 
the  medical  man  who  had  attended  the  testator 
daily,  and  chanced  to  be  in  the  room  at  the  ex- 
ecution both  of  the  will  and  codicil,  having  in 
fact  suggested  the  propriety  of  not  deferring  the 
duty  :  but  for  this  circumstance  I  should  have 
broken  down  upon  the  attestation,  simply  be- 
cause I  had  not  the  penetration  to  detect  the 
cause  of  the  witness's  reluctance,  and  prepare  her 
to  meet  the  exposure,  if  I  failed  in  averting  it 
by  appealing  to  the  humanity  of  our  opponents. 


288  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

But  certainly  of  all  the  variety  of  duties  im- 
posed on  us  by  our  peculiar  occupation,  there  is 
not  one  more  difficult  to  perform,  or  that  requires 
more  delicacy  of  address,  than  to  measure  the 
extent  to  which  a  female  may  he  prudently  ex- 
posed to  the  fire  of  a  cross-examination.  I  nev- 
er yet  found  a  woman,  young  or  old,  silly  or 
sensible,  plebeian  or  patrician,  that  could  stand 
it,  or  that  did  not  make  a  fool  of  herself  if  she 
failed  in  making  one  of  me.  The  case  must  be 
desperate  indeed  where  the  attorney  has  no  help 
for  it  but  in  the  straight -forward  evidence  of  a 
woman :  should  he  unhappily  find  himself  in 
such  a  strait,  the  wisest  thing  he  can  do  is  to  let 
her  tell  her  story  in  her  own  way;  and  tell  it  only 
once  for  all :  if  she  is  good-looking  it  may  pass ; 
if  not,  she  must  be  taught  an  hysteric  fit  at  the 
right  moment,  and  this  may  perchance  save  him. 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  289 


CHAPTER   XIX. 

"  Non  datur  ac  veras  audire  et  reddere  voces."— JEn.  L 

Witnesses  of  our  own  sex  are  a  more  prac- 
ticable race,  but  there  are  still  very  few  who 
can  be  trusted  without  some  drilling:  witnesses 
are  like  the  muscles  of  the  body,  voluntary  and 
involuntary  in  their  action  ;  but  with  this  differ- 
ence; your  voluntary  witness  cannot  be  res- 
trained, your  involuntary  witness  never  acts 
spontaneously.  A  voluntary  witness  enters 
into  the  matter  with  all  the  zeal  of  a  partisan ; 
so  much  so  that  we  begin  to  fancy  we  have 
made  a  mistake  in  the  parties,  and  that  the 
witness  ought  to  have  been  the  plaintiff;  with 
professional  slang,  he  adopts  the  first  person 
plural,  "  "We  have  been  very  ill  treated,  Mr. 
Sharper  we  owe  it  to  the  public  to  take  the 
opinion  of  a  jury,"  nor  will  any  quiet  intima- 
13 


290  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

tion  of  mistake'  serve  to  rescue  him  from  this 
confusion  of  personal  identity. 

A  fraudulent  misrepresentation  of  profits  was 
the  ground  of  action;  I  was.  examining  an  ac- 
countant who  had  been  employed  by  my  client 
on  negotiating  the  purchase. 

"  Did  the  defendant  fairly  expose  his  books  ?" 

"  I  cannot  complain  of  him  on  that  score, 
Mr.  Sharpe." 

"  Then  how  came  you  to  be  deceived  ?  " 

"Deceived!  I  never  am  deceived,  Sir;  I 
should  like  to  see  the  man  who  can  deceive  me, 
give  me  his  bill -book,  his  cash-book,  his  pass- 
book, his  day-book,  and  his  ledger!  but  we 
are  the  victims  of  fraud,  Sir  !  we  are  all  liable  to 
be  cheated,  Sir  !  we  have  been  shamefully  cheat- 
ed—  swindled — regularly  done  in   this   case." 

"I  incline  to  agree  with  you,  but  how  do  you 
make  it  appear  ?  " 

"  Appear !  it  is  as  clear  as  the  day :  we 
found  he  kept  two  accounts,  Sir !  two  bill- 
books,  Sir!  two  waste -books,  Sir!  but  we  will 
expose  him  :  our  character  is  at  stake !  " 

My  accountant- witness  exposed  his  own 
ignorance  when  he  came  to  be  examined,  but 
he   left  the   defendant   intact.     I  have  a  great 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  291 

antipathy  to  all  voluntary  witnesses;  one  of  the 
involuntary  class  is  worth  a  score  of  them,  if 
he  has  any  pretension  to  principle  or  character  : 
their  drawback,  however,  is  a  very  heavy  one; 
you  cannot  guess,  except  so  far  as  you  can 
safely  confide  In  your  client's  story,  whether 
he  is  safely  producible.  It  occurred  to  me  to 
examine  a  man  as  a  witness  in  that  most  diffi- 
cult of  all  causes,  an  action  for  a  fraudulent 
representation  of  character,  whereby  credit  was 
obtained  ;  the  witness  was  a  mutual  friend,  but 
more  inclined  to  save  the  defendant  than  assist 
the  plaintiff;  he  was  a  man  of  principle  never- 
theless. 

"  I  understand,  Mr.  Thomson,  that  you  re- 
ported to  my  client  the  opinion  that  the  de- 
fendant entertained  of  the  bankrupt?" 

"  I  can't  say  I  made  any  2'eport,  Sir." 

"  But  you  stated  that  the  defendant  had  large 
dealings  on  credit  with  him  ?  " 

"  I  never  spoke  of  large  dealings  with  any- 
body." 

"  He  did  deal  on  credit  with  him,  however?" 

"  He  may  have  done  so,  Sir." 

"Did  he  not  tell  you  so?" 

"  He  may  or  he  may  not." 


292  ADVENTUKES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

"  You  were  requested  to  make  the  inquiry  of 
him?" 

"  Yes  :  I  can't  deny  that." 

"And  you  told  him  that  my  client  had  asked 
you  ? " 

"  I  believe  I  did." 

"  What  answer  did  he  give  you  ? " 

"  I  can  not  recall  his  exact  words." 

"  Well :  what  answer  did  you  take  back  to 
my  client?" 

"  I  suppose  he  has  told  you,  Mr.  Sharpe?" 

"Yes;  but  I  wish  to  know  what  you  can 
tell  me." 

"  You'll  hear  it  all  when  I  am  examined  in 
court." 

"  How  can  I  judge  of  the  prudence  of  exam- 
ining you  in  court,  if  you  will  not  tell  me  what 
you  have  to  say  ? " 

"  I  shall  speak  the  truth,  Sir." 
.     "  No  doubt  of  it ;  but  what  is  the  truth  of 
the  case  ? " 

"Excuse  me,  Sir;  I  don't  like  to  tell  the 
same  story  half  -  a  -  dozen  times;  I  shall  tell  it 
when  I  am  in  the  witness-box." 

"  Did  you  make  any  memorandum  of  your 
conversation  ? " 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  293 

"  Perhaps  I  may ;  I  decline  saying  anything 
at  present." 

"  My  client's  goods  found  their  way  into  the 
defendant's  possession,  I  believe  ?" 

"  Possibly ;  the  defendant  dealt  with  the 
bankrupt." 

"  Don't  you  know  that  they  did  ?  " 

"  I  am  not  obliged  to  tell  you  the  extent  of 
my  knowledge,  Mr.  Sharpe  ?  " 

"  In  fair  dealing,  I  think  you  are." 

"  I  cannot  agree  with  you,  Sir ;  I  wish  you 
good  morning." 

And  he  walked  off.  I  was  left  to  decide  for 
myself,  whether  on  this  equivocal  evidence,  but 
partially  disclosing  a  tenth  part  of  the  merits, 
it  was  prudent  to. proceed.  I  thought  not;  my 
client  understood  the  man  better,  and  trusted 
him  ;  nor  was  he  disappointed.  In  the  witness- 
box  he  bore  out  the  case  to  its  full  extent, 
though  by  his  ill-timed  reserve  he  had  nearly 
crowned  with  success  the  fraud  practiced  on 
an  innocent  man.  These  pig-headed  block- 
heads are  the  most  dangerous  of  involuntary 
witnesses ;  we  can  only  rely  on  them  so  far  as 
we  have  confidence  in  the  instructions  we  have 
received,  and    in    the   respect    which    we   may 


294  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

assume  that  they  will  pay  to  their  oath :  but  if 
we  can  rely  on  them,  they  are  the  best. 

A  witness  requires  to  be  studied  with  elose 
attention,  and  the  opportunity  of  studying  him 
is  best  obtained  by  quietly  leaving  him  to  speak 
for  himself,  unless  it  appear  that  he  is  deterred 
by  bashfulness  or  timidity.  I  have  usually 
found  that  men  are  more  communicative  when 
they  can  be  prevailed  upon  to  call  on  me,  than 
when  I  call  on  them.  In  the  latter  case  they 
are  on  their  guard;  they  are  afraid  of  com- 
mitting themselves,  and  take  refuge  in  cautious 
silence;  in  the  former,  they  are  compelled  to 
open  the  occasion  of  their  visit  by  way  of  self- 
introduction,  and  they  gradually,  and  almost 
unconsciously,  slide  into  full  conversation.  An 
attorney  must  be  a  very  dull  fellow,  who  after 
an  interview  of  half- an -hour,  cannot  form  a 
fair  opinion  of  the  safety,  as  well  as  the  value 
of  a  witness,  in  any  ordinary  case.  His  policy 
is  to  draw  him  out  without  letting  it  appear 
that  he  does  so ;  for  such  is  our  bad  odor,  that 
no  sooner  does  a  man  suspect  that  we  are  ob- 
serving him,  than  he  draws  in  his  horns,  and 
shrinks  back  into  the  very  inmost  recesses  of 
his  shell.     At   one   time  I  made  it  a  habit  to 


IN   SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  295 

take  out  ink  and  paper,  and  reduce  at  once  to 
writing:  all  that  my  witnesses  stated,  while  they 
were  still  with  me;  sometimes  I  do  it  still,  and 
where  it  can  he  effected  without  exciting  alarm, 
it  is  a  useful  practice ;  but  I  was  cured  of  it  as 
a  habit  by  more  than  one  instance  of  the  fol- 
lowing kind: 

"  Bless  me,  Mr.  Sharpe,  what  are  you  doing 
there  ?  " 

"  Only  making  a  minute  of  your  evidence 
for  counsel." 

"  Minute  of  my  evidence !  I  won't  agree  to 
that ! " 

"Why  not?  you  can't  think  that  I  can  re- 
member all  we  have  been  saying  ?  " 

"I  can't  help  that;  I'm  not  going  to  swear 
in  black  and  white ;  I  have  told  you  the  truth, 
but  I'm  not  going  to  be  taken  down." 

"  Will  you  write  it  yourself?  " 

"  STo  indeed !  I  may  have  made  a  thousand 
mistakes;  I'll  do  no  such  thing." 

"  Come,  now,  be  reasonable ;  what  is  the  use 
of  your  telling  me  all  this,  if  it  is  to  go  no 
further  ?  and  how  can  I  make  use  of  it,  if  I  am 
not  at  liberty  to  take  notes  of  it?  " 

"  That's  your  affair,  not  mine;  I  have  noth- 


296  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

ing  to  do  with  it.  Give  me  that  paper,  or  I'll 
not  say  another  word." 

And  I  have  heen  obliged  to  surrender  my 
memorandums  as  a  peace-offering,  to  secure 
further  communication  !  All  this  is  prodigi- 
ously absurd,  but  it  is  our  lot  to  deal  with  the 
absurdities  not  less  than  with  the  passions  of 
mankind. 

I  have  observed  that  children  should  never 
be  instructed  as  to  the  value  of  their  evidence ; 
and  as  a  general  maxim  it  applies  to  adults, 
more  especially  if  they  are  of  the  class  volun- 
tary ;  not  that  witnesses  of  this  stamp  are 
prone,  as  in  the  case  of  children,  to  become 
embarrassed  and  confused,  but  because  such 
tuition  leads  to  a  very  kindred,  and  yet  more 
mischievous  fault.  As  soon  as  their  cross- 
examination  begins,  they  are  sure  to  assume  an 
attitude  of  self-  defense ;  while  counsel  is  amus- 
ing them  with  pointless  questions,  they  indulge 
in  pert  and  flippant  rejoinders,  and  this  of 
itself  will  prejudice  a  jury,  unless  accompanied 
with  a  power  of  writty  repartee  that  rarely  falls 
to  the  lot  of  man.  When  however,  the  cross- 
examination  approaches  the  point  which  they 
have   been  taught  to  feel   of  importance,    flip- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE  297 

pancy  changes  into  sudden  reserve,  and  the 
prejudice  of  the  jury  settles  into  confirmed 
distrust.  I  never  indulge  the  self-complacency 
of  a  voluntary  witness,  and  the  more  important 
I  feel  his  evidence  to  be,  the  more  indifference 
I  show  about  it,  till  I  succeed  in  bringing  him 
down  to  a  very  diluted  strength.  I  have  been 
obliged  sometimes  to  go  so  far  as  to  intimate 
considerable  doubt  if  he  would  be  wanted  at 
all ;  this  often  produces  that  humble  frame  of 
mind,  which  is  the  best  of  all  preparatives  for 
the  witness-box  where  a  witness  is  not  cursed 
with  too  much  sensibility  of  nerve 

There  are  some  precautions  that  are  requisite 
with  witnesses  of  every  class ;  the  very  utmost 
patience  must  be  exhibited  in  our  intercourse 
with  them,  let  them  take  what  time  they  like  to 
tell  their  story,  and  digress  from  it  as  often,  and 
in  what  direction  they  please  :  never  pin  them 
down  to  accuracy  or  consistency  till  they  have 
had  their  say  out.  To  irritate  a  witness  is  death 
to  a  cause;  and  of  all  sources  of  irritation,  in- 
terruption is  the  surest,  especially  to  a  garrulous 
or  prosing  man :  moreover,  in  telling  a  story 
their  own  way,  witnesses  will  often  let  facts  of 

real  importance  escape  them,  which  you  would 
13* 


298  ADVENTURES    OP    AN    ATTORNEY 

never  elicit,  by  the  most  keen  interrogation.  I 
have  usually  found  that  dull  or  illiterate  men 
will  begin  their  statement  with  some  rigmarole 
of  antediluvian  date,  in  nowise  connected  with 
the  subject-  matter  of  the  cause,  except  through 
some  ingeniously  twisted  association  of  their 
own  fancy;  they  then  skip  over  every  interme- 
diate occurrence  till  they  come  to  facts,  most 
deeply  impressed  on  their  memory,  because  the 
most  recent:  this  is  invariably  the  case  in  all 
matters  relating  to  domestic  or  family  disputes ; 
in  all  affairs  where  the  scene  of  action  has  been 
partly  abroad;  and  above  all  in  complicated 
cases  of  justified  libel,  or  of  intricate  pecuniary 
accounts.  Hence,  after  the  first  conversation, 
the  attorney  finds  himself  involved  in  a  jumble 
of  detail,  which  no  ingenuity  can  unravel  or 
simplify.  To  correct  this  desultory  style,  it  is 
judicious  to  note  down  half- a-  dozen  dates  of 
the  principal  events,  and  entice  the  witness  into 
a  recapitulation  of  his  narrative,  checking  and 
recalling  him  to  the  periods  which  you  have 
noted.  By  thus  introducing  a  chronological 
principle  of  arrangement,  without  appearing  to 
tie  him  down  to  it,  a  clear  and  connected  tale 
may  often  be  deduced  from  a  mass  of  chaotic 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  299 

confusion.  Where  several  witnesses  are  neces- 
sary to  complete  a  long  chain  of  evidence,  this 
precaution  is  doubly  requisite,  for  if  they  are 
confronted,  and  are  not  equally  clear  and  pre- 
cise, they  will  inevitably  contradict  each  other 
on  some  important  date  or  occurrence,  and  by 
argument  and  discussion  will  each  provoke  the 
other  into  bigoted  adherence  to  his  own  recol- 
lection ;  it  then  becomes  a  point  of  honor,  or 
at  least  of  temper,  (often  the  same  thing,)  to 
withhold  the  least  concession  of  error.  It  is 
most  dangerous  at  any  time  to  hold  a  convoca- 
tion of  witnesses,  till  by  separate  examination 
we  have  arrived  at  a  straight  -  forward  and  con- 
sistent story ;  when  once  this  is  attained,  it  is 
convenient  to  assemble  them,  as  you  can  at 
once  reconcile  any  petty  and  seeming  incon- 
sistencies to  their  own  satisfaction,  and  this  is 
of  the  last  consequence  if  you  anticipate  the 
necessity  of  excluding  an  opponent's  witnesses, 
(and  of  course,  therefore,  your  own,)  pending 
the  progress  of  the  trial. 


300  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER    XX. 

"  Ut  tautum  faemus  uon  in  sequitate  defensionis,  sed  in  una  littera 
latuisse  videatur?"  —  Cic.  pro  A.  Cfecin. 

Another  precaution  that  can  never  be  safely 
omitted,  and  at  which  I  have  already  glanced, 
is  to  make  witnesses  produce  ever}*  letter  or 
memorandum  which  they  can  recollect  writing 
or  receiving,  respecting  the  matters  at  issue : 
an  attorney  should  never  be  taken  by  surprise, 
by  the  sudden  development  of  any  writing  of 
importance ;  his  safest  course  is  always  to  ask 
for  all  correspondence,  and  to  read  all,  when  it 
is  produced;  for  one  letter  will  often  give  no- 
tice of  another.  I  can  mention  two  incidents 
of  a  very  curious  character  that  will  illustrate 
the  infinite  value  of  documentary  evidence, 
though  apparently  of  the  most  trivial  descrip- 
tion :  I  received  one  of  them  from  a  civilian  of 
high  rank,  and  well -merited  professional  dis- 
tinction. 


IN    SEARCE    OF   PRACTICE.  301 

Property  to  au  immense  amount  depended 
on  the  legitimacy  of  an  ancestor  whose  parents 
were  supposed  to  have  been  married  in  the 
year  1730.  The  system  of  registration,  either 
of  birth  or  marriage,  was  then  scarcely  known, 
or  at  least  very  imperfectly  practiced;  the 
period  of  the  ancestor's  birth,  however,  had 
been  ascertained  with  accuracy,  and  this  even- 
tually led  to  the  discovery  of  the  registration 
of  his  parents'  marriage;  but  to  the  dismay  of 
the  attorney,  it  appeared  that  the  marriage  was 
registered  some  months  after  the  birth.  There 
was  every  reason  to  believe  that  the  register 
was  inaccurate ;  the  rank  and  character  of  the 
parties,  and  the  long -recognized  claims  of  the 
heir,  combined  to  negative  the  supposition  that 
his  legitimacy  could  have  thus  easily  been  chal- 
lenged at  the  very  period  of  his  birth,  and  yet 
have  so  long  remained  doubtful :  but  argument 
avails  but  little  against  positive  record,  and  the 
attorney  was  alarmed  at  the  prospect.  He 
hurried  to  his  counsel,  to  announce  the  dis- 
covery he  had  made;  they  felt  the  difficulty, 
but  the  case  was  too  serious  to  be  abandoned 
without  a  further  effort,  and  the  register  might 
possibly  be  inaccurate  :  he  was  recommended 


302  ADYENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

to  institute  diligent  inquiry  for  the  representa- 
tives of  the  clergyman  who  had  solemnized  the 
marriage,  us  it  was  probable  that  he  had  been 
personally  acquainted  with  the  parties,  and  it 
was  possible  that  his  papers  might,  if  found, 
open  new  channels  of  intelligence;  the  attorney 
started  on  this  voyage  of  discovery,  founded 
like  that  to  the  North  Pole,  on  possibility 
within  possibility !  He  succeeded  in  finding 
the  representatives  of  the  clergyman  in  some 
of  his  great-grandchildren,  who  liberally 
opened  their  family  archives  to  his  researches. 
Among  other  venerable  relics  of  antiquity  was 
a  trunk  of  papers,  and  half-  sorted  correspond- 
ence. Hour  after  hour,  and  day  after  day, 
were  spent  in  unfolding  and  perusing  it;  even- 
tually his  perseverance  was  rewarded ;  he  found 
a  letter  of  invitation  to  the  reverend  divine, 
requesting  the  honor  of  his  company  to  the 
nuptial  feast,  and  a  memorandum  of  the  cere- 
mony indorsed  upon  it,  in  the  same  hand- 
writing with  the  register !  Thut  memorandum 
bore  date,  as  did  the  letter  itself,  exactly  a  year 
before  the  ancestor's  birth,  and  fifteen  months 
prior  to  the  registration  of  the  marriage. 

The  other  instance  to  which  I  have  referred, 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  308 

occurred  personally  to  myself,  and  is  therefore 
far  more  interesting  to  me,  and  likely,  perhaps  to 
be  more  instructive  to  my  readers.  1  was  placed 
in  the  very  painful  position  of  being  obliged 
to  prove  that  a  deed  which  had  been  prepared 
and  executed  in  my  office,  was  only  delivered  as 
an  escrow,  till  the  investigation  of  a  title  had 
been  completed.  It  was  contended  on  the  other 
side,  that  it  had  been  executed  unconditionally, 
all  objections  to  the  title  having  been  waived ; 
the  action  was  brought  under  very  special  cir- 
cumstances, to  recover  the  purchase-  money  from 
my  clients,  who  were  the  purchasers  ;  the  deed 
had  been  executed  during  my  absence  from  Lon- 
don ;  a  fact  that  I  could  not  doubt,  inasmuch  as 
it  bore  date  in  the  first  week  of  September,  being 
a  week  that  I  never  remember  to  have  spent 
within  the  region  of  Cockaigne ;  but  it  was 
above  two  years  after  the  date  of  it,  that  I  was 
called  to  swear  to  the  fact,  and  I  could  obtain 
no  evidence  but  my  own  to  sustain  my  alibi. 
Meanwhile  I  was  opposed  (  not  in  a  professional 
sense,  for  the  plaintiff's  attorney  was  a  very  re- 
spectable man,  though  misled  as  to  the  merits  of 
his  case, )  to  two  of  the  greatest  villains  that 
ever  adorned   our  honorable  profession,  and  I 


304  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

knew  that  it  was  intended  by  these  fellows  to 
swear  that  they  had  seen  me  personally  at  my 
office,  on  the  occasion  of  the  deed  being  executed, 
and  that  I  had  then  consented  to  complete  the 
purchase.  I  have  been  satisfied  by  subsequent 
events,  that  this  intended  defense  was  kindly  \n- 
timated  to  me  to  intimidate  me  from  entering 
the  witness  -  box  !  The  plaintiff  was  a  worthy 
alderman,  whose  blundering  stupidity  is  the 
best  pledge  that  he  was  no  party  to  the  iniqui- 
tous scheme.  The  hint  thus  given  to  me  of  the 
intended  line  of  defense,  had  certainly  the  effect 
of  annoying  me  as  much  as  malice  could  desire, 
for  it  was  tantamount  to  telling  me  that  if  I 
swore  to  what  I  knew  to  be  the  truth,  I  should 
be  visited  with  an  indictment  for  perjury ! 
They  little  knew  me,  however,  when  they  hoped 
thereby  to  deter  me  from  a  strict  professional 
duty.  After  perplexing  myself  in  vain  to  think 
of  corroborative  evidence,  it  flashed  across  my 
mind  that  being  out  of  town  at  the  time,  and  of 
course  obliged  daily  to  write  to  my  managing 
clerk  on  matters  of  business,  he  might  possibly 
have  retained  some  of  my  letters,  though  it  was 
not  his  habit  to  preserve  them.  Laborious  in- 
deeel  was  the  search  I  made,  but  all  in  vain  !   it 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  305 

was  tlie  eve  of  trial,  and  having  spent  days  in 
turning  over  every  bundle  of  papers  relating  to 
business  then  in  hand,  all  to  no  purpose,  I  re- 
solved to  meet  my  fate  with  the  best  faee  I 
could,  and  trust  to  heaven  for  the  rest.  I  had 
returned  from  our  final  consultation  at  a  late 
hour,  hopeless  almost  of  escape,  when  my  clerk 
met  me  with  exultation  in  his  features,  holding 
in  his  hand  the  envelope  of  a  letter,  addressed 
in  my  writing  to  himself,  and  bearing  a  pro- 
vincial postmark  fifty  miles  from  London,  of 
the  very  date  of  the  deed  in  question!  Here 
was  conclusive  evidence  of  my  accuracy,  and 
my  alibi.  I  gave  my  testimony  with  comfor- 
table coolness,  and  no  contradiction  was  even 
offered  !  The  envelope  had  been  used  to  wrap 
up  a  pill -box,  which  he  had  fumbled  out  of 
his  drawer,  after  the  twentieth  ejectment  of  all 
its  contents  in  fruitless  search !  It  is  worth 
remarking,  though  foreign  to  the  immediate 
subject,  that  it  afterwards  appeared  that  the 
professional  swindlers  who  had  meditated  this 
diabolical  scheme,  had  forged  all  the  deeds  on 
which  the  title  depended,  and  but  for  a  trifling 
circumstance,  that  awakened  my  suspicion  of 
fraud,  though  I  never  dreamt  of  the  extent  of 


306  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

it,  my  clients  would  have  completed  their  pur- 
chase, and  lost  three  thousand  pounds  :  it  was 
in  pursuance  of  their  fraud  that  they  had  pre- 
vailed on  my  clerk,  during  my  absence,  to 
consent  to  the  execution  of  the  deed  "without 
prejudice; "  but  it  would  take  too  long,  and  be 
profitless  to  boot,  to  explain  the  whole  of  this 
infamous  conspiracy,  though  I  afterwards 
traced  to  the  pen  of  one  of  the  party,  anony- 
mous letters  on  the  evidence  of  which  he  might, 
at  that  time,  have  been  hanged ;  and  would 
have  been,  but  for  the  forbearance  of  my  gener- 
ous client.  I  would  rather  fight  the  devil 
under  the  gallows  for  a  gibbeted  thief,  than 
get  involved  in  personal  controversy  with  an 
unprincipled  attorney !  it  is  but  one  degree 
better  to  be  his  client. 

I  have  dwelt  at  considerable  length  on  the 
examination  of  evidence,  because  it  is  the  most 
important  of  all  duties  that  fall  to  the  lot  of  the 
attorney,  and  it  is  the  only  one  in  which  he  can 
derive  no  assistance  from  the  superior  informa- 
tion of  counsel :  indeed,  I  have  generally  found 
counsel  more  unskillful  in  the  private  examina- 
tion of  witnesses,  than  ourselves.  1  should  not 
exhaust  the  subject,  if  I  were  to  write  a  folio, 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  307 

nor  should  I  succeed  in  the  instruction  of  my 
reader,  if  I  could  find  one  with  patience  to  read 
the  said  folio,  for  it  is  entirely  a  matter  of  tact 
and  address  to  extract  a  witness's  knowledge, 
without  alarming  him  on  the  one  hand,  or 
tutoring  him  on  the  other :  I  cannot  however 
quit  the  topic  without  another  remark  or  two 
that  may  assist  in  acquiring  this  tact.  Where 
witnesses  are  inclined  to  open  at  all,  they  are 
far  more  communicative  at  the  first  interview 
than  they  ever  are  afterwards;  the  private 
meditation  that  follows  the  first  discussion  of 
the  subject  with  the  attorney  is  by  no  means 
conducive  to  frankness  on  a  second  examina- 
tion:  the -examinant  begins  to  reflect  more 
seriously  on  the  case  than  he  did  before;  con- 
science suggests  a  doubt  (I  am  only  speaking  of 
honest  witnesses,  such  as  an  honest  attorney 
may  call,)  whether  he  may  not  have  exaggerated 
a  little,  and  given  an  unfair  color  to  the  tacts : 
whether  he  may  not,  from  the  wish  to  oblige  a 
friend,  have  spoken  with  prejudice;  or  if  free 
from  prejudice,  whether  he  has  not  been  some- 
what hasty  and  thoughtless  in  his  statements : 
when  reflections  like  these  begin  to  haunt  his 
mind,  a  re -action  takes  place;  on  his  second 


308  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

visit  be  doubts  ;  be  is  "not  quite  sure"  —  "be 
would  be  sorry  to  speak  unfairly  "  —  "an  oatb 
is  a  serious  matter  :  "  and  then  he  qualifies,  and 
modifies,  and  neutralizes,  till  be  gets  bewildered 
in  scruples  of  his  own  creation,  and  ends  by 
retracting  every  word  he  has  previously  uttered, 
falling  into  the  natural  error  of  saying  too 
little  to  avoid  the  danger  of  saying  too  much. 
I  have  known  many  a  witness  to  whom  "the 
truth"  was  an  intelligible  part  of  the  oath,  but 
who  found  "  the  whole  truth  and  nothing  but 
the  truth,"  absolutely  incomprehensible;  as 
indeed  they  are  to  common  sense,  if  "  the 
truth  "  has  any  meaning  at  all.  It  is  important 
to  detect  this  infirmity  in  a  witness  at  our  first 
introduction  to  him,  if  possible;  but  if  we 
cannot  do  this,  it  is  prudent  to  assume  that  he 
is  subject  to  it,  and  on  this  assumption  to  get 
all  out  of  him  that  we  can,  without  subjecting 
him  to  a  second  ordeal :  we  may  generally  trust 
to  such  a  witness  to  confirm  on  oath,  substan- 
tially at  least,  whatever  he  has  first  stated  ;  but 
to  prevent  disappointment  to  counsel  on  ex- 
amining him  in  court,  in  this  and  perhaps  in 
every  case,  it  is  most  prudent  in  narrating  his 
expected  evidence  in  the  brief,  to  refrain  from 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  309 

giving  it  in  any  stronger  or  more  decided  terms 
than  we  have  ourselves  received  it  in  from  his 
lips;  and  if  we  must  err,  to  err  on  the  side  of 
moderation  and  distrust.     Akin  to  this  suedes- 

CO 

tion  is  another,  which  obvious  as  it  is,  is  too 
frequently  neglected  in  practice;  never  to  post- 
pone the  examination  of  the  witnesses  till  the 
eve  of  trial :  most  men  are  content  to  take  their 
client's  word  for  the  facts,  and  bring  or  defend 
the  action  without  further  precaution :  this  is 
all  very  well,  if  the  main  object  is  to  secure 
costs  in  any  event :  but  if  the  desire  is  what  it 
ought  to  be,  to  avoid  litigation,  wherever  facts 
only  are  disputed,  and  the  law  is  clear,  then 
the  attorney's  first  duty  is  to  check  his  client's 
accuracy,  by  catechising  his  witnesses  before 
costs  are  incurred,  and  while  the  circumstances 
are  yet  recent  in  their  memory. 

Some  of  the  adventures  before  narrated,  fully 
bear  out  the  wisdom  of  this  policy,  but  it  is 
well  worth  pointed  repetition. 


310  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER    XXI. 

"Le  vrai  n'est  pas  toujours  le  vraisemblable." 

ROCHEFOUCATJLT. 

While  I  have  learnt  to  be  very  scrupulous  in 
receiving  for  gospel,  what  even  the  most  honest 
and  well  -  meaning  witnesses  may  tell  me,  I  have 
acquired  another  lesson  not  less  important  to 
professional  men  :  never  to  refuse  credit  to  a 
story,  merely  because  it  is  opposed  to  all  prob- 
ability, or  at  variance  with  the  ordinary  motives 
and  conduct  of  mankind,  or  with  the  apparent 
station  or  reputation  of  the  parties  whom  it 
involves.  I  have  met  with  some  cases  so  extra- 
ordinary in  their  nature,  that  they  seemed  to 
require  almost  mathematical  demonstration  to 
convince  one  of  their  truth  :  and  yet  when  I 
have  afterwards  become  familiar  with  the  private 
history  of  the  parties,  that  demonstration  has 
been  supplied  by  irresistible  moral  evidence. 
Some  of  these  cases  are  so  peculiar,  that  I  dare 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  oil 

not  mention  them,  because  no  disguise  of  name, 
date,  or  circumstance,  could  prevent  recognition 
of  the  individuals.  I  can  illustrate  my  mean- 
ing however,  by  two  or  three,  in  which  I  have 
reason  to  believe  that  all  the  principal  actors 
have  long  since  quitted  the  stage  of  life,  without 
leaving  any  surviving  relations  so  near  in  blood, 
that  their  feelings  will  be  wounded  by  the  ex- 
posure, even  if  they  should  identify  the  anecdote. 
I  was  once  consulted  by  a  gentleman  about 
thirty  years  of  age,  a  very  accomplished  man, 
and  remarkably  gifted  with  those  attractions 
that  usually  win  the  affections  of  a  woman, 
upon  his  defense  in  a  threatened  action  for 
criminal  conversation.  He  Was  not  only  a 
client,  but  an  intimate  friend,  and  he  wanted 
my  advice  more  in  the  latter  character  than  as 
his  solicitor.  I  of  course  inquired  into  the 
foundation  for  the  charge,  and  he  absolutely 
denied  that  any  existed,  or  could  by  possibility 
exist ;  he  pledged  me  his  honor  most  solemnly 
to  the  truth  of  his  denial,  but  with  so  much 
agitation  of  manner,  and  apparent  distress  of 
mind,  that  I  doubted  him,  for  he  was  by  no 
means  a  man  to  be  alarmed  at  trifles.  I  urged 
upon  him  the  folly  of  such  anxiety,  if  he  was 


312  ADVENTURES   OF  AN   ATTORNEY 

conscious  that  the  action  could  uot  be  sustained, 
and  put  it  to  his  good  sense  to  set  the  menace 
of  it  at  defianee.  He  declared  this  to  be  out  of 
the  question,  and  to  satisfy  me  that  it  was  so, 
he  acknowledged  to  a  score  of  acts  of  sueh  a 
nature  that  any  one  of  them  would  have  been 
more  than  sufficient  to  convince  the  most  in- 
dulgent or  most  sceptical  jury  that  ever  tried 
an  issue.  I  inquired  into  the  extent  to  which 
the  husband  might  be  presumed  to  be  ac- 
quainted with  the  conduct  of  his  wife,  and 
found  that  she  had  herself,  unknown  to  her 
lover,  confessed  their  correspondence,  and  ex- 
hibited his  letters !  He  showed  me  extracts 
from  some  of  those  letters  that  he  chanced  to 
have  retained,  and  they  were  so  expressed  that 
they  left  no  doubt  of  his  guilt,  even  on  my 
mind,  though  his  partial  friend.  I  advised  an 
attempt  at  compromise,  and  we  effected  it  at  a 
cost  of  three  hundred  pounds.  I  saw  the 
woman  in  the  course  of  the  negotiation,  and 
certainly,  if  extreme  beauty  and  the  most  en- 
gaging maimers  could  have  extenuated  my 
friend's  fault,  he  had  every  apology.  He  was, 
notwithstanding  this  affair,  a  man  of  high- 
toned  feeling,  and  even  principle.     Some  years 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  313 

afu-rwards  he  offered  his  hand  to  a  lady,  but  in 
doing  so  he  felt  it  incumbent  on  him  to  disclose 
these  circumstances.  Tier  lather  called  on  me 
for  a  confirmation  of  the  story,  and  I  thought 

it  right  to  explain  it  fully,  though  I  did  not 
feel  it  necessary  to  express  my  utter  disbelief  of 
my  friend's  protestations  of  actual  innocence: 
bis  offer,  however,  was  rejected,  and  he  after- 
wards found  reason  to  congratulate  himself  on 
his  failure.  The  husband  died  about  a  year 
after  this  disappointment,  and  partly  from 
lingering  affection  perhaps,  partly  to  do  justice 
as  he  supposed  to  the  woman  whose  reputation 
he  had  injured,  he  resolved  to  marry  the  widow, 
and  disclosed  his  intentions  to  me.  I  entreated 
him  to  be  cautious,  and  to  allow  me  to  inquire 
a  little  into  her  conduct  since  the  compromise; 
he  followed  my  advice,  and  I  pursued  the  in- 
quiry with  diligence;  for,  in  fact,  though  I 
never  doubted  my  friend's  criminality,  I  had 
always  suspected  that  her  spontaneous  dis- 
covery of  their  correspondence  proceeded  from 
any  feeling  but  remorse.  The  death  of  the 
husband  opened  many  mouths  that  had  before 
been  closed,  aud  the  tenor  of  his  will  led  to  a 

perfect  development  of  the  whole  iniquity.     I 
14 


314  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

found  in  the  surgeon  who  had  attended  him  in 
his  last  illness,  and  was  also  the  medical  adviser 
of  the  wife,  a  fellow  student  and  old  acquaint- 
ance in  the  hospitals,  and  he  told  me  all.  My 
friend  had  been  the  victim,  and  not  the  first 
nor  the  second  victim,  of  an  infamous  con- 
spiracy between  the  husband  and  wife,  a  con- 
spiracy by  wdiich  the  conjugal  feelings  could 
never  by  possibility  be  outraged,  because  that 
outrage  could  never  by  'possibility  be  effected ! 
The  unnatural  and  debased  creature  soon  fol- 
lowed her  husband  to  the  grave,  though  she 
maintained  to  the  last  a  quasi  reputation  that 
obtained  her  the  frequent  opportunity  of  prac- 
tising her  arts  on  other  dupes.  Could  I  have 
believed  my  unlucky  friend's  assertions  in  the 
teeth  of  all  probability,  I  might  have  saved  his 
money,  and  soothed  his  wounded  feelings,  by 
converting  them  into  indignation. 

Another  case  of  a  very  similar  description, 
occurred  in  the  person  of  a  young  man  that  I 
knew  at  Cambridge,  and  who  afterwards  resided 
in  one  of  the  inns  of  court,  as  a  law  student. 
It  is  only  so  far  in  point  as  it  tends  to  establish 
my  position,  that  the  improbability  of  finding 
extreme  depravity  in  one  not  previously  even 


IN    SEARCH    VE    PRACTICE.  315 

the  object  of  suspicion,  is  no  conclusive  argu- 
ment for  disbelieving  it.  lie  too  was  a  gentleman 
combining  great  personal  attraction  with  large 
mental  endowments,  and  even  at  an  early  age, 
he  acquired  no  inconsiderable  distinction  in 
the  world ;  but  he  was  a  man  of  more  than 
the  usual  share  of  romance,  and  thus  peculiarly 
fitted  to  be  the  dupe  of  female  artifice.  He  had 
scarcely  left  Cambridge,  when  he  became  intro- 
duced to  one  of  those  minor  circles  which  dub 
themselves  fashionable,  because  they  have  ac- 
quired the  ease  and  style  of  high  -  bred  folly,  how- 
ever far  removed  by  birth  from  the  patrician 
class ;  in  truth,  in  these  modern  da}-s  of  liberality, 
there  are  but  two  fashionable  classes  of  society, 
however  those  classes  may  be  subdivided  :  the 
men  of  academic  education  form  the  one ;  the 
educated  by  hook  or  by  crook,  form  the  other : 
now  and  then  they  interlace  with  each  other, 
but  still  the  line  of  demarcation  is  broadly 
marked ;  the  superior  class  branch  out  in  mani- 
fold directions,  and  according  to  taste  or  circum- 
stance, associate  themselves  with  a  political,  a 
scientific,  a  professional,  or  a  literary  coterie ; 
the  half-  educated  aspire  to  the  same  elevation, 
and  occasionally  attain   it ;  the  large  herd  of 


316  ADVENTUllES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

intermediate  talent,  who  have  no  intellectual 
pretension  to  rank  in  any  particular  study,  are 
hangers  -  on  in  the  set  they  happen  to  fancy,  and 
make  up  for  learned  deficiency,  by  boldly  assert- 
ing the  exclusiveness  of  their  peculiar  circle; 
men,  like  these,  form  the  bulk  of  the  fashion- 
able world ;  whether  that  world  rolls  along  in 
the  coroneted  carriage  through  the  streets  and 
squares  of  aristocracy,  or  crowds  the  scientific 
hall,  or  lounges  in  the  library  chair  of  the  club- 
room,  or  w7ith  more  humility  of  aspiration, 
retails  the  gossip  of  the  House  over  the  good 
things  of  a  Civic  table,  or  speculates  in  Russell 
square  on  the  prospects  of  the  leader  on  the  cir- 
cuit, such  is  the  materiel  of  which  it  is  composed. 
Should  one  of  these  intermediate  men  chance 
to  be  a  novelist,  a  dramatist,  or  a  successful 
pamphleteer,  he  becomes  the  temporary  nucleus 
of  a  petty  circle  of  his  own,  in  which  he  lion- 
izes with  success.  If  moreover,  he  can  dexter- 
ously render  fashionable  folly  subservient  to  his 
pocket,  not  only  is  his  fortune  made,  but  even 
character  becomes  superfluous  in  the  eclat  of  his 
brilliant  career. 

I   have   digressed   from   my    subject,   but   I 
wished  to  explain  accurately  the  set  to  which 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  317 

Captain  Wilson  belonged,  in  whose  drawing- 
room  my  friend  Stantield  soon  found  himself  a 
welcome  guest.  Captain  Wilson  was  a  man  of 
fashion,  him  distingue,  kept  a  good  table,  and 
what  is  of  equal  consequence,  a  very  pretty 
wife.  Where  he  found  her,  or  how  he  won 
her,  were  mysteries  that  concerned  nobody  but 
himself.  She  was  younger  by  several  years 
than  he  was,  but  there  was  no  such  disparity 
of  age  as  made  their  union  farcical.  Stanfield 
possessed  two  accomplishments  of  no  very 
singular  merit,  that  nevertheless  tell  well  with 
most  females  :  he  rode  gallantly,  and  he  was 
devoted  to  music  —  in  this  respect,  and  perhaps 
in  some  others,  he  resembled  Alfieri.  He  had 
not  long  frequented  Captain  Wilson's  drawing- 
room,  before  he  found  that  play  was  deep  and 
frequent;  but  his  tastes  were  altogether  foreign 
to  such  amusement,  and  he  rarely  joined  the 
card -table.  Captain  Wilson  was  not  himself 
often  at  home,  and  his  absence  from  the  ordi- 
nary pursuits  of  the  evening  passed  unnoticed ; 
except  the  daily  and  deep  play  which  appeared 
to  form  the  habitual  resource  of  the  hostess, 
there  was  nothing  to  excite  suspicion,  and  as 
he  was  not  pressed  to  join  it,  he  troubled  him- 


318  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

self  but  little  on  the  subject;  such  was  the 
bland  hospitality  of  Mrs.  Wilson,  that  he 
speedily  found  himself  at  home,  and  such  were 
her  attractive  manners,  that  he  soon  forgot  he 
had  a  home  elsewhere :  his  mornings  were 
spent  in  riding  with  her  in  the  parks,  for  she 
almost  rivalled  him  in  horsemanship ;  his  even- 
ings found  him  always  at  her  piano,  till  the 
•post  ccenam  card -table  silenced  harmony,  and 
by  forcing  him  into  the  irksome  solitude  of 
society,  drove  him  for  relief  to  the  less  annoy- 
ing solitude  of  his  chambers.  The  result  was 
inevitable ;  his  liaison  with  Mrs.  Wilson  slided 
gradually,  almost  imperceptibly  into  the  usual 
character,  and  his  happiness  was  as  perfect  as 
happiness  could  be,  when  founded  on  guilt, 
and  hourly  fearing  detection.  This  dream  con- 
tinued for  several  months,  when  he  began  to 
feel  that  Mrs.  Wilson's  demeanor  became  more 
constrained,  and  her  temper,  hitherto  gentle, 
and  cheerfully  uniform,  exhibited  a  fickleness 
and  irritability,  that  could  only  spring  from 
jealousy  or  wearied  affection  :  there  was  no  de- 
cided quarrel,  for  his  good  humor  and  fondness 
allowed  no  opportunity ;  but  he  felt  an  increas- 
ing conviction  that   on  her  part,  the  opportu- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  319 

nity,  whenever  it  arose,  would  be'  gladly  hailed, 
and  this  led  to  suspicion,  which  a  trivial  cir- 
cumstance confirmed  into  certainty.  Under 
the  pretext  of  avoiding  remark,  Mrs.  Wilson 
had  prevailed  on  him  to  intermit  his  evening- 
visits,  except  at  considerable  intervals :  but 
rinding  himself  one  evening,  accidentally  in 
her  neighborhood,  after  dining  out,  and  per- 
ceiving lights  in  the  drawing-room,  he  forgot 
her  injunctions,  and  called  :  the  drawing-room, 
though  lighted  up  as  usual,  was  deserted,  but 
the  piano  was  open,  and  he  approached  it  to 
amuse  himself  till  she  made  her  appearance  ;  to 
his  surprise  he  saw  a  flute  accompaniment  open 
on  the  desk,  and  on  further  scrutiny,  discovered 
a  flute  behind  it,  concealed  by  some  loose  music. 
He  made  no  comment,  and  the  hour  passed 
away  as  usual,  only  with  somewhat  unusual 
reserve  on  her  part,  almost  amounting  to  that 
dignity  of  manner  that  implies  between  parties 
so  circumstanced,  either  offense,  or  a  strong 
inclination  to  give  it,  if  occasion  could  be  found. 
He  took  his  leave  of  her  with  coolness,  and 
she  answered  the  salute  with  marked  indiffer- 
ence. On  passing  through  the  hall,  the  ser- 
vant picked   up  a  glove  from  the  floor,    and 


320  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

telling  him  that  ho  had  dropped  it,  gave  it  to 
him  :  he  found  that  he  had  both  his  gloves  in 
his  hat,  but  concluding  that  he  had  inadver- 
tently drawn  it  from  his  pocket,  he  placed  it 
there,  and  sauntered  home,  gloomily  meditating 
on  the  cause  of  this  apparent  estrangement :  in 
answer  to  a  careless  inquiry,  she  had  explained 
with  equal  carelessness  of  tone,  that  the  flute 
belonged  to  a  young  relative  of  her  husband, 
who  had  arrived  from  Cambridge  that  morning 
and  had  gone  to  the  theatre;  he  was  reflecting 
on  the  tone  of  this  explanation,  when  he  drew 
the  glove  from  his  pocket  to  restore  it  to  its 
fellow,  and  he. at  once  perceived,  that  though  a 
man's  glove,  it  did  not  belong  to  him  ;  it  could 
not  be  the  Captain's,  for  he  had  been  ordered 
to  Ireland,  and  in  consequence  of  his  absence, 
Mrs.  Wilson  had  long  since  suspended  her  card 
parties:  the  jealous  distrust  which  now  began 
to  torture  his  mind,  was  wound  up  to  the 
highest  pitch  the  following  morning,  by  re- 
ceiving through  her  servant,  a  letter,  not 
formal  or  ceremonious  certainly,  but  with  in- 
finitely less  than  the  accustomed  endearments 
of  expression,  requesting  the  immediate  return 
of  all  the  music  she  had  lent  him,  and  sending 


:N     SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  ^21 

back  several  volumes  of  his  that  she  had  bor- 
rowed in  exchange.  Stanfield  could  not  mis- 
understand the  meaning  of  this,  and  was  now 
only  bent  on  discovering  his  successful  rival  ; 
he  might  easily  have  elicited  this  from  her  ser- 
vant, but  he  was  too  high-minded  to  stoop  to  such 
unworthy  means,  even  under  the  excitement  of 
wounded  affection ;  he  wrote  to  her  in  a  tone 
of  passionate  remonstrance,  but  "  acquiescing  in 
what  he  construed  to  be  her  wish,  an  imme- 
diate and  decided  separation,  if,  as  he  had 
too  much  cause  to  fear,  her  affections  were  irre- 
vocably gone  :  "  he  pinned  this  note  into  one  of 
her  music  books,  on  the  title  page  of  one  of  her 
favorite  songs,  and  which  he  well  knew  would 
be  one  of  the  first  with  which  she  would  enter- 
tain her  new  admirer  ;  the  stratagem  completely 
succeeded.  The  next  morning  brought  him  a 
visitor,  in  an  old  college  acquaintance,  whom 
he  had  himself  introduced  at  Harley  street  only  a 
month  before  ;  he  was  surprised,  and  not  entire 
ly  pleased,  with  a  call  that  he  expected  was  one 
of  curious,  and  perhaps  ironical  condolence,  for 
his  friend  entered  with  a  suppressed  smile  on 
his  lips. 

"  "Well,  Thornhill,  I  little   anticipated  seeing 
14* 


322  ADVENTURES    OP   AN   ATTORNEY 

you  !  I  suppose  you  have  heard  of  our  quarrel  ? 
these  sort  of  tidings  generally  travel  fast." 

"  T  am  your  companion  in  exile,  by  my  own 
choice  ;  did  you  write  this  letter  ?  "  producing 
the  billet  of  the  previous  day. 

"  Why,  if  I  did,  you  have  no  right  to  ask  me, 
I  presume  ?  " 

"  Not  yet,  assuredly  ;  but  had  I  not  found  it 
in  the  song  -  book  last  night,  I  should  by  this 
time  have  had  as  much  right  to  open  it,  as  you 
to  send  it !  " 

"  The  devil  you  would  !  then  the  flute  was 
yours  ?  " 

"  Yes  ;  and  the  glove  too.  " 

"  And  she  found  that  I  had  got  it,  and  so  gave 
me  my  conge  ?  " 

"  Exactly  so.  " 

"  And  you  were  not  at  the  play  ?  " 

"  No  :  perdu  in  the  next  room.  " 

"  Now  tell  me  truly,  my  good  fellow ;  how  far 
have  matters  gone  ?  " 

"  I'm  on  the  right  side ;  your  letter  arrived 
in  the  nick  of  time  to  save  me." 

"  Did  you  never  suspect  me  ?" 

"  Never,  on  my  honour ;  or  she  might  have 
laid  her  trap  in  vain." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  323 

This  prompt  and  frank  echircissement  opened 
the  eyes  of  both,  but  I  must  tell  the  melancholy 
catrastrophe,  though  I  do  it  with  pain. 

I  need  scarcely  say  that  this  discovery  of  her 
character  converted  poor  Stanfield's  fondness 
into  disgust,  and  his  jealousy  into  indignant 
resentment;  but  he  was  a  generous  and  warm- 
hearted man,  warm-hearted  in  spite  of  his  ro- 
mance, lie  never  revisited  Harley  street,  nor 
even  attempted  indirectly  to  inform  himself  of 
the  subsequent  proceedings  of  the  family  :  four 
or  five  years  rolled  away,  and  he  had  all  but 
forgotten  his  once  intimate  connexion  with  it. 
The  object  of  my  work  is  not  to  moralize,  and 
therefore  I  shall  not  discuss  the  morality  of  his 
conduct;  but  in  this  particular  he  certainly 
acted  with  a  degree  of  prudence  not  very  usual, 
and  perhaps  not  very  practicable  with  those 
who  set  morality  at  defiance  when  opposed  to 
passion :  his  affection  however  had  received  a 
rude  shock,  and  this  happily  combined  with  the 
wish  to  save  Mrs.  Wilson's  character,  which 
he  sill  believed  to  be  unstained  in  the  opinion 
of  the  world,  to  fortify  his  resolution  never  again 
to  enter  a  circle  which  had  well  nigh  proved 
fatal  to  all  his  worldly  prospects.     In  this  case, 


xTn.rr-DTjsj   OF  AN   ATTORNEY 
304  ADVENTURES   u*    aix 

as  in  the  last,  it  was  in  consequence  of  a  con- 

Lphited rriage.thatlhecameinttmately 

tejainted  with  the  story:  and  that  marnage 
^nrohon  off  hy  the  vague  and  exaggerated 
reports  that  had  ohtaiued  curreucy^Ithas 
hln  n,y  destiny,  I  scarcely  know  why  ^ 
theresoureeofaUmycoUegeac^ntaucewhen 

they  have  fouud  themselves  invoked -«; 

t,  hy  these  deviations  from  the  straight  path  . 
t  young  meu  are  sensihle  of  the  repugnance 

It  lafeft,  even  hy  those  who  are  not  p^ 

Uu,yst,aight.1aeed1totheint11uateapp,a«he 

of  those  who  lahor  under  the  ohloqnj  of  a 
Id  morality.     Btanneid,  with   more  mgen- 
nonsnessthansag^ity.haddisclosedtoThorn 
hffl  the  full -tent  of  his  entangtonen^ 

be  found  that  the  discovery  ot  the  tetter  ^ 
partial  hetrayed  the  seeret:   and    he      tt- 

•  ^ct^s  -it  be  112  so   neavl)    dupeu, 

frT  Cireom    matte"   hence  it  ohtained 
:fSTd  an  unfortunate  c^ehrity  of  whicj 

•         i4ii  i,;a  offer  of  marriage 
he  was  unconseious,  till  his  otter  8 

received  from  the  lady's  father  a  Pm M 

founded  on  his  alleged  seduction  of 

rwul-was  in  this  dilemma  that  .e 

!Ld   my  advice.     I  immediately  set  on  foot 


IN   SEARCH   OP   PRACTICE.  395 

diligent  inquiries  about  the  Harlej  street  cot  ru 
but  the  career  of  all  such  parties  is  as   brief  J 
it  is  gay  and  dissipated:  of  the  Wilsons  I  could 
'earn  nothing,  except  that  he  had  sold  out   and 

was    extinct:    some    of   their    set    were  in    the 
-king's    Bench-others    abroad-a    few    had 
vanished  entirely  out  of  sight;   the  «  wind  had 
passed    over   them,  and    they   were   gone."     I 
could  not  assist  my  friend,  though  I  called  on 
the   father  of  his  intended  wife,  and   reported 
the  result  of  my  inquiries,    urging  upon   him 
that  it  was  severe  to  repudiate  the  alliance  of  a 
'nan,  otherwise  most  estimable,  because  lie  had 
while  yet  a  youth,  been  victimized  by  a  gaming 
and  unprincipled  set  of  fashionable  sharpers' 
It  was  all  in  vain;  the  old  gentleman  retorted 
that  their   ruin   might  be  the   consequence  of 
their  connexion  with  Stanfield,  and  he  was  in- 
exorable.    He   farther    assured    me    that    his 
daughter  herself  fully   acquiesced  in   the  pro- 
priety  of  his   decision,   and   I   communicated 
this  to  Stanfield,  for  the  chance  of  its  recon- 
ciling him  to  his  inevitable  disappointment     At 
hrst  he  was  cut  to  the  heart,  but  he  recovered 
the  blow  so  rapidly,  that  I  was  surprised  at  his 
equanimity.     It    vvas  about  ^  ^  ^  ^ 


m  ADVENTURES   0E   AS   ATTORNEY 

final  rejection,  that  he  called  at  my  office,  ob- 
viouslylaboring  under  much  anxiety  of  nund, 
ficb  I  at  first  attributed  to  bie  a  tered  pros- 
pects.    He  soon  relieved  my  apprebensrons  on 

^"notoncetbougbtofbermrtbisw^ 

past." 

a^o1  then  what  ails  you?" 

aI  have  found   Sopbia,  or  ratber  she  has 
'Tci;!  the  womana^hsbetvaa fairly 

lvmo-edoutofyourway." 

Xy  that  word  again,  Sir,  and  tt  ts  your 

'tldhe  rose  from  his   seat  with  a  look  of 
fl,nzy  that  startled  mc,  clenched  fits  fist  w,th 

,  rt,„t  T  at  first  thought  he  was 

Snch  vmlence,  that  I ^  *  g  ,, 

going  to  strike  me,  and  IretreateU. 
Iexclaimed,"canthisbeposStble?       Theque 

tion  was  put  mildly,  hut  -P-achfuHy  ^ 
instantly  restored  him  ho  Ins  senses;  he  hu  s 
into  tears,  entreated  my  forgiveness  -d -th 

same  breath  told  me  he  wanted  only  my  * 
dnction  to  a  physician  of  whom^he a  d  =1 

me   speak  highly-    I  gave  him  the 

:iii  he  took  down  in  silence,  and  was  gomg. 


IN   8EARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  327 

"Stay  a  moment,  Stanfield,  I  g„e3s  your  pur 
pose;  can  I  assist  you?" 

"She  is  dying!  she  will  scarcely  recollect  you 
but  it  yoa  desire,  come  with  me." 

"For  your  own  sake,  I  do  desire  it,  but  not 
from  curiosity.     I  have  none>  ^    fo   ^ 

W  you  happened  to  meet  again  so  unexpect- 

On  our  way  he  explained  it  all.     A  few  days 
after  I  had  reported  to  him  the  result  of  my 
interview  with  Mr.  Fortescue,  he  had  been  sum- 
moned to  the  door  of  his  chambers  by  a  single 
knock,  when  he  found  it  proceeded  from  a  little 
dirty  and  half-  dressed  girl  of  fourteen,  who  put 
a  soiled  paper  into  his  hands,  folded  up  like  a 
letter:  at  first  he  declined  reading  it,  conclud- 
ing that  it  wes  some  begging  petition,  but  the 
faithful  messenger  was  not  to  be  repulsed. 

"  The  lady  was  sure  you  would  not  refuse  her, 
Sir,  if  you  knew  how  ill  she  was." 

Tkis  appeal  was  sufficient  for  Stanfield 
though  he  little  imagined  who  «  the  lady  "  could 
be;  the  letter  contained  only  a  line,  but  though 
even  that  line  was  without  a  signature,  Stanfield 
had  not  forgotten  the  beautiful  writing  of  one 
that  had  once  been  so  dear  to  him.     «  Come  and 


s28         iDYBwrrow  or  ak  attorney 
see  me.    I  would  not  ask  you,  but  I  have  not 
l^hou,,  to  Uve.-was.il  it  saidaudto 

than  enough;   he  instantly  aceom- 
was  more  tnan   euou.,    , 

panied  the  child. 

It  was  in  a  hack  room,  up  two  pmr  of  stau  s, 

inone  of  those  dark  and  filthy  streets  adjoining 
Gl,ys  Inn  lane,  th.at  are  too  often  sttgmaW 

tdensofinfamy.hythosewhoforgetthatYtee 

1  as  near  •  kindred  to  wealth,  as  it  does 
"^-.^Btanfield  found  the 

Ihed  woman  who  had  once  been  the  tdol  of 
M8  affections,  and  who  was,  still,  more  dear 
Mm  than  he  dared  acknowledge  even  to  himselfi 
She  was  lying  on  a  palliasse,  scarcely  covered 
by  half  a  blanket,  whose  deficiencies  were  sup- 
pHedbyarugwhichadogmighthavescorned 

l  touch.  The  weather  was  cold,  hut  the  rusty 
grate,  half  supplied  with  the  usual  complement 
of  bars,  showed  no  traces  of  fuel ;  a  tattered  rem- 
nant  of  a  silk  cloak,  of  those  tawdry  colors 
that  indicate  the  wearer's  class,  was  suspended 
hefore  the  broken  window  as  a  substitute  for  a 
eurtain,  and  two  gowns,  equally  character^ 

«  .olitarv  ieg;  other  furniture  there 
hung  upon  a  solitaij  peg, 

was  none:  n„  a  paper-trunk,  resting  outs  end 
to  supply  the  pla<*  of  a  Uble,  there  stood  a  cu* 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  329 

of  tea,  cold  and  milkless,  a  slice  of  bread  and 
butter  untouched,  and  a  saucer  tilted  on  one  side, 
to  hold  the  ink  which  the  poor  sufferer  had  just 
borrowed  to  write  the  note  which  Stanfield  had 
received.     When  the  girl  reached  the  door  of 
this  wretched  apartment,  and  opening  it,  beck- 
oned to  Stanfield  to  follow  her,  though  impa- 
tient to  enter  he  felt  so  agitated,  that  he  was 
compelled  to  wait  a  minute  on  the  landing-place 
to  recover  himself,  and  Mrs.  Wilson  concluded 
that   her   application   was   unsuccessful.      She 
faintly  said,  just  raising    her   head   from    the 
bolster,  and  drawing  an  old  reticule  from  under 
it,  (there  was  no  pillow)  "He  will  not   come  ? 
well,  I  don't  deserve  it,  but  here  is  sixpence  for 
you,  Mary;  I  shall  not  want  it,  though  it  is  my 
last;"  and  she  sunk  back,  exhausted  with  the 
effort,  while  the  child,  with  a  sort  of  intuitive 
delicacy  that  I  have  often  witnessed  in  the  poor, 
declined  the  proffered  reward,  adding,  "  I  hope 
you'll  want  it  yet,  Ma'am,  for  I  have  brought 
the   gentleman."     Stanfield    could   refrain    no 
longer;  he  rushed  into  the  room,  knelt  by  the 
bed-side,  and  with  all  the  tenderness  of  former 
love,  embraced   the   dying  victim  of  woe  and 
want,  before  she  was  well  aware  of  his  approach 


330  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

ITis  first  care  was  to  provide  her  with  attend- 
ant' and  ordinary  comforts,  for  she  was  desti- 
tute even  of  assistance,  except  what  she  occa- 
sionally received  gratuitously  from  the  girl,  who 
was  the  daughter  of  another  lodger  in  the  same 
house.  She  was  incapable  of  immediate  re- 
moval, but  she  so  far  rallied  under  affectionate 
nursing,  that  Stanfield  entertained  sanguine 
hopes  of  her  ultimate  recovery.  On  the  fifth 
day  after  his  first  call,  he  carried  her  down  to 
a  coach,  and  had  her  conveyed  to  respectable 
lodgings  which  he  had  engaged  for  her  in 
Guildford  street.  It  was  here  that  I  found  her 
when  I  accompanied  him.  I  had  never  seen 
her  but  once  before,  when  riding  with  him  in 
the  park;  she  was  then  in  all  the  spring  of 
youth  and  beauty.  I  had  noticed  her  with 
admiration,  but  with  little  interest ;  when  how- 
ever, I  saw  her  now,  her  face  still  glowing  with 
the  hectic  flush  of  confirmed  consumption,  but 
her  forehead  and  neck  pale  even  to  ivory  white- 
ness, and  her  hollow,  deep  blue  eyes,  gleaming 
Avith  preternatural  brightness,  while  they  fol- 
lowed every  look  and  every  movement  of  her 
lover  with  fond  gratefulness  for  his  tender 
solicitude,  and  bespoke  a  cheerfulness  not  the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  331 

less  attractive  because  it  was  subdued  by  the 
inward  conviction  that  her  present  happiness 
would  be  but  the  sunshine  of  a  few  hours, 
never,  to  the  end  of  life,  can  I  forget  the  im- 
pression that  the  contemplation  of  her  expres- 
sive countenance  then  made  on  my  mind!  and 
her  affection  at  length  was  innocent,  for  she 
had  been  long  a  widow. 

It  was  more  than  a  fortnight  before  she  was 
sufficiently  strong  to  tell  her  tale  of  misery  in 
a  connected  strain  ;  she  expressly  desired  my 
presence  at  the  time :  as  for  Stanfield,  he  never 
left  her  day  or  night;  he  slept  on  a  sofa  in  the 
adjoining  room,  and  nursed  her  like  an  infant. 
She  had  already  at  intervals,  as  she  found 
strength  and  spirits  for  it,  put  him  in  posses- 
sion of  all  the  occurrences  of  her  life  since  their 
separation,  nor  had  her  sincerity  in  the  least 
diminished  his  fondness,  it  rather  increased  it; 
he  had  in  return  avowed  to  her  his  intended 
marriage  and  the  reason  of  its  being  given  up, 
and  it  was  this  circumstance  that  induced  her, 
with  a  truly  generous  anxiety  for  his  future 
happiness,  to  wish  for  my  presence,  that  I 
might,  if  necessary,  attest  his  innocence,  at 
least  of  her    seduction.     I    cannot   pretend  at 


332  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

this  interval  of  time,  to  give  her  statement  in 
her  own  words,  for  though  I  noted  down  the 
principal  facts,  I  made  no  other  memorandum 
of  it.     It  was  in  substance  as  follows  : 

"  You  will  be  distressed,  Mr.  Sharpe,  "  and 
she  hesitated  as  if  for  a  word,  "  I  should  say 
disgusted,  Sir,  (I  know  not  why  I  should  be 
too  nice  about  the  word, )  when  I  tell  you  all, 
but  you  must  prepare  yourself  for  a  sad  story. 
Captain  Wilson  married  me  because  he  wanted 
money,  and  he  thought  I  had  more  than  I  really 
had ;  this  led  to  all  our  misery ;  you  look  as  if 
you  would  ask  why  I  married  him  ?  for  the 
same  reason,  I  believe,  that  most  young  girls 
do  the  same  thing !  I  wanted  to  be  indepen- 
dent, and  have  an  establishment  of  my  own,  as 
it  is  called.  Alas !  I  little  knew  how  little  in- 
dependence there  is  in  married  life,  where  there 
is  no  affection  :  in  twelve  months  he  had  spent 
the  whole  of  my  two  thousand  pounds ;  he  had 
nothing  of  his  own,  besides  his  pay :  but  we 
had  a  well -furnished  house,  a  large  acquaint- 
ance, and  we  found  a  resource  in  play :  they 
may  well  call  such  places  hells,  Mr.  Sharpe ! 
our  house  was  truly  one,  though  we  kept  up 
appearances  so  well,  that  it  was  little  suspected. 


IN    SEARCH   OF   PKACTICE.  333 

My  husband  did  not  often  show  himself  at  our 
evening  parties;  he  left  them  to  me,  that  I 
might  seduce  the  young  men  who  frequented 
them,  into  intimacy,  before  they  were  alarmed 
into  distrust  of  him:  you  will  excuse  my  not 
dwelling  on  these  scenes,  I  have  not  strength 
for  it  now ;  it  is  enough  to  say  that  I  was  too 
often  successful,  and  my  wicked  husband  con- 
nived at  it." 

She  was  here  obliged  to  stop,  and  I  entreated 
her  to  drop  the  matter,  as  she  had  explained 
enough  for  me  to  guess  the  rest ;  but  she  mo- 
tioned Stanfield  to  take  me  into  the  next  room, 
and  he  then  told  me  that  her  heart  was  so  en- 
tirely set  upon  the  disclosure,  that  it  would  give 
her  more  relief  to  make  it,  at  whatever  trial  of 
strength  and  spirits;  the  motive  she  assigned 
for  doing  it,  was  one  to  which  we  both  felt 
bound  to  defer.  Finding  herself  more  capable 
of  exertion  than  she  had  yet  been  since  she  had 
been  removed,  she  had  resolved  on  receiving 
the  sacrament,  and  all  the  past  week  had  been 
spent  in  anxious  preparation  for  it.  Stanfield 
had  been  her  spiritual  instructor.  He  had 
urged  her  to  send  for  some  of  her  family,  but 
she  had  peremptorily  refused  ;  not  from  shame 


384  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

or  animosity,  though  she  had  applied  to  them 
in  the  extremity  of  her  sufferings,  and  received 
no  reply;  but  she  observed  that  if  her  brother 
or  sisters  came,  (her  parents  were  dead,)  they 
would,  from  ill-timed  regard  to  appearances, 
exelude  Stanfield  from  her  room,  and  this 
would  be  a  blow  she  could  not  in  her  then  state 
of  debility,  expect  to  survive ;  she  wished, 
however,  for  their  sake  as  well  as  his,  to  afford 
every  explanation  she  could  of  her  past  life,  as 
the  only  reparation  she  felt  it  in  her  power  to 
offer.  We  returned  to  her  bedside,  and  she 
immediately  resumed  the  subject. 

"  Capt.  Wilson  has  gone  before  me,  Mr. 
Sharpe,  and  I  ought  not  to  speak  of  him 
harshly,  but  I  have  found  it  difficult  to  avoid 
it :  I  forgive  him  as  I  hope,"  —  she  paused,  and 
turned  to  Stanfield,  "  nay,  George,  I  am  sure 
my  Saviour  has  forgiven  me  !  "  She  again  ad- 
dressed herself  to  me,  with  a  gentle  smile  on 
her  face :  "  it  was  not  easy  to  ride  out  with  him 
every  day,  and  sing  with  him  every  evening, 
and  carry  on  our  schemes  against  his  pocket ! 
Capt.  Wilson  was  incensed  at  this  child's  play, 
as  he  called  it,  and  insisted  on  me  giving  it  up, 
if  I  could  not  turn  1113-  influence  to  better  ac- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  335 

count.  It  was  this  that  led  to  my  intrigues 
with  Mr.  Thornhill.  You  would  not  quarrel 
with  me,  George,  and  I  wTas  obliged  to  quarrel 
with  you,  though  it  went  to  my  heart  to  do  so. 
The  return  of  the  music -hooks  broke  off  all 
acquaintance  with  Mr.  Thornhill,  and  this 
second  failure  caused  a  total  rupture  with  my 
husband,  whose  necessities  at  that  moment 
were  most  urgent.  "We  quarrelled,  and  he 
turned  me  out  of  doors :  it  mattered  little  for 
that,  for  the  next  day  our  furniture  was  seized, 
and  I  must  have  gone  then  at  all  events.  For 
a  few  weeks  I  took  refuge  with  an  old  domestic, 
but  I  could  not  remain  with  her  lontr,  and 
what  was  I  to  do  ?  I  knew  your  generosity, 
my  beloved  friend,  but  pride  forbade  my 
appealing  to  it  under  such  a  change  of  for- 
tunes, especially  after  I  had  used  you  ill.  I 
had  no  choice  :  I  did  as  others  do ;  and  yet, 
George,  you  may  be  satisfied  that  my  attach- 
ment remained  unchanged  when  you  see  that 
I  have  preserved  this  little  gift  in  all  my  cruel 
fortunes,  though  it  has  been  in  the  hands  of 
half  the  pawnbrokers  in  London  !  "  She  pro- 
duced a  plain  gold  buckle,  which  Stanfield  had 
had  made  for  the  skirt  of  her  riding  habit.     "  I 


336  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

tremble  to  think,"  she  added,  "  of  what  I  have 
often  submitted  to,  that  I  might  redeem  this 
valued  relic  !  " 

She  could  continue  no  further,  for  this  recur- 
rence to  her  degraded  position  was  too  exquis- 
itely painful,  and  she  fell  back  utterly  exhausted  ■ 
As  soon  as  Stanfield  had  restored  her  to  a  state 
of  temporary  ease,  by  aid  of  the  usual  cordials, 
I  took  my  leave.  I  saw  her  once  more,  at  her 
own  earnest  entreaty,  to  receive  a  last  farewell, 
but  that  week  had  not  expired  when  she  died 
in  Stanfield's  arms,  not  in  sadness,  but  in  the 
calm  expectation  of  a  sincere  penitent  who  had 
laid  her  sins  and  her  sorrows  at  the  foot  of  the 
cross. 

I  attended  her  remains  to  the  grave,  in  com- 
pany with  my  poor  friend,  and  in  that  grave  he 
has  since  been  laid  himself.  In  discharge  of 
the  duty  which  Mrs.  Wilson  entrusted  to  me, 
I  communicated  the  outline  of  her  story  to  Mr. 
Fortescue;  he  discredited  every  word  of  it,  and 
adhered  to  his  first  resolve.  Stanfield  however, 
though  unknown  to  me,  had  forever  abandoned 
all  thought  of  marriage  with  his  daughter,  or 
indeed  with  any  one  else  :  not  that  he  brooded 
over  Mrs.  Wilson's  loss,  after  the  first  shock 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  337 

was  over ;  for  a  time  he  was  depressed  to  the 
last  degree,  but  this  wore  away  with  time,  and 
he  recovered  his  usual  spirits.  His  health  how- 
ever was  seriously  affected :  I  have  heard  medi- 
cal men  observe,  that  though  consumptive 
complaints  are  not  infectious,  there  is  a  danger 
of  infection  if  a  party  predisposed  to  receive  it 
is  brought  into  frequent  contact  with  a  patient 
in  the  last  stage  of  a  decline.  It  may  have  been 
owing  to  this  cause,  that  within  a  year  of  Mrs. 
"Wilson's  death,  he  exhibited  the  usual  pulmon- 
ary symptoms  in  an  aggravated  form.  It  is 
one  of  those  curious  weaknesses  of  the  human 
mind  which  we  cannot  trace  satisfactorily  to 
their  source,  that  though  Stanfield  was  un- 
doubtedly a  man  of  sense,  as  well  as  a  man  of 
talent,  and,  as  I  have  observed,  bore  his  loss 
with  firmness,  and  forced  his  spirits  to  rally  at 
his  bidding,  he  appeared  to  contemplate  the 
progress  of  his  malady  with  a  feeling  near  akin 
to  satisfaction.  In  deference  to  the  wishes  of 
his  friends  he  made  the  usual  sanatory  tour  to 
Devonshire  and  the  south  of  France,  and  re- 
turned with  the  usual  result,  —  increased  de- 
bility and  exhausted   spirits.     He  sent  for  me 

to    see  him;    he   had    not   yet   laid    aside   his 
15 


388  ADVENTURES   OE   AN   ATTORNEY 

mourning,  and  "I  think  I  never  shall,"  was 
his  reply  to  a  hint  that  I  gave  him  of  his  in- 
dulging in  it  too  long. 

"  That  is  the  very  topic  on  which  I  wanted 
to  see  you,  Sharpe.  You  have  not  forgotten 
where  poor  Sophia  died  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not ;  what  then  ?  " 

"  You  must  engage  that  room  for  me,  and 
the  adjoining  one  for  yourself;  I  wish  to  die 
there  too  ?  " 

Touched  as  I  was  with  this  romantic  trait 
of  feeling,  I  resisted,  and  remonstrated  against 
an  indulgence  of  it,  that  his  friends  would  call 
silly,  and  all  would  think  imprudent ;  but  it 
was  in  vain. 

"  I  know  they  would  call  it  silly,  and  there- 
fore I  do  not  ask  them;  and  as  for  the  im- 
prudence, it  will  raise  my  spirits  rather  than 
depress  them  ;  but  my  strength  is  already  gone 
beyond  the  power  of  the  mind  to  affect :  will 
you  refuse  me  ?  " 

I  could  not;  the  apartments  were  again 
engaged,  and  strange  to  say,  from  the  hour 
that  he  took  possession  of  them,  his  vivacity 
seemed  restored  !  He  did  not  however  last 
much  longer,  I  soon  followed  him  to  her  tomb; 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  339 

and  by  the  last  injunction  of  his  dying  lips,  I 
followed  him  —  alone ! 

Should  my  readers  be  inclined  to  blame  me 
for  this  long  digression,  I  must  admit  that 
there  is  in  it  little  of  practical  utility,  in  refer- 
ence to  my  avowed  object;  all  I  can  say  for 
myself  is,  that  to  my  own  mind  the  tale  is  in- 
structive, on  the  folly  of  rejecting  imputed 
criminality  as  incredible,  because  it  is  laid  to 
the  charge  of  parties  apparently  beyond  sus- 
picion :  if  I  have  trespassed  too  long  in  refer- 
ence to  this  position,  I  beg  pardon,  but  I 
could  not  bring  myself  to  cut  short  the  tragedy 
in  the  middle. 


340  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER     XXII. 

"  Hoc  vero  occultum,  intestinum  ac  domesticum  malum,  non  modo 
non  exsistit,  verum  etiam  opprimit,  antequam  prospicere,  atque  ex- 
plorare  potueris." — In  Vebe. 

"Certet  mea  diligeutia  cum  illorum  omnium  cupiditate." 

Ibid. 

The  embarrassing  situation  in  which  an  at- 
torney  finds  himself  placed,  as  the  recipient  of 
extreme  confidence  on  domestic  quarrels  and 
suspicions,  not  unfrequently  from  several  mem- 
bers of  the  same  family,  requires  from  him  at 
times,  a  degree  of  tact  in  informing  himself  of 
the  exact  measure  of  credit  which  he  ought  to 
give,  not  only  of  a  different  class  but  of  far 
more  difficult  attainment  than  the  usual  pro- 
fessional address  requisite  for  sifting  a  witness  ; 
and  for  this  obvious  reason ;  that  he  can  have 
no  recourse  to  third  parties,  to  decide  between 
brother  and  brother,  husband  and  wife,  parent 
and  child,  on  which  side  the  weight  of  evidence 
lies:  we  are  often  invited  by  persons  standing 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  341 

in  these  near  relations,  to  settle  their  conflicting 
claims  upon  each  other,  and  not  seldom  to 
adjust  their  quarrels,  and  restore  domestic  har- 
mony. This  is  the  most  irksome  of  all  pro- 
fessional duties,  and  in  some  respects  the  most 
difficult  to  discharge.  If  no  private  acquain- 
tance subsists  between  the  attorney  and  his 
client's  family,  the  course  is  clear  enough ; 
advise  him  for  the  best,  as  regards  his  personal 
interest,  and  decline  all  part  in  private  quarrels 
or  discussions,  ultra  the  strict  limits  of  pro- 
fessional duty,  leaving  such  matters  to  them- 
selves, or  handing  over  the  disputants  to  the 
kind  interposition  of  mutual  friends;  but  it 
often  happens  that  the  family  solicitor  is  invited 
by  all  to  become  the  family  referee,  and  to 
mediate  between  relatives  so  circumstanced,  that 
mediation,  unaided  by  legal  kuowledge,  must 
prove  of  no  avail :  in  such  cases  it  is  unfriendly, 
cowardly,  and  selfish,  to  decline  the  office, 
merely  to  avoid  the  hazard  of  being  drawn  into 
dissension ;  but  it  is  most  difficult  to  discharge 
it,  for  the  reason  I  have  assigned ;  that  there  is 
no  disinterested  witness  from  whom  facts  can 
be  correctly  gleaned,  and  by  whose  evidence 
the  merits  of  the  quarrel  can  be  ascertained : 


342  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

the  balance  of  probability,  aided  by  our 
personal  knowledge  of  individual  character,  is 
then  our  only  guide. 

A  very  singular  affair  of  this  kind  once 
occurred  to  me,  in  which  the  peace  of  a  whole 
family  was  at  stake,  and  in  which  I  must 
acknowledge  with  all  humility  that  I  was 
completely  in  error,  and  occasioned  I  fear,  for 
a  time,  more  mischief  than  I  was  called  in  to 
heal. 

A  gentleman  who  had  long  been  my  client, 
gave  me  instructions  for  his  will ;  his  property 
was  not  very  large,  and  as  he  had  only  two 
sons  between  whom  he  wished  it  to  be  fairly 
divided,  the  limitations  did  not  threaten  to  be 
very  complicated:  one  of  these  sons  was  in 
India,  the  other,  Frederic,  at  home,  and  both 
of  them  married  men.  He  had  resolved  to 
bequeath  the  whole  equally  between  his  sons, 
if  at  his  death  they  had  each  the  same  number 
of  children  in  being  or  in  immediate  expecta- 
tion ;  if  otherwise,  it  was  to  be  divided  into  as 
many  portions  as  there  were  members  of  the 
two  families,  and  each  member,  including  the 
parents,  was  to  take  per  capita,  as  we  term  it, 
the  fathers  enjoying  the   interest  of  their  chil- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  343 

dren's  shares  for  life.  This  was  the  outline  of 
his  scheme,  and  he  announced  it  to  his  son  in 
England ;  the  son  immediately  called  on  me 
and  in  the  strongest  terms  deprecated  such  an 
arrangement,  though  apparently  nothing  could 
be  more  equitable  :  I  of  course  referred  him  to 
his  father,  and  was  obliged  to  turn  a  deaf  ear 
to  all  his  expostulations :  a  few  days  after  the 
son's  wife  also  called  on  me,  protesting  in 
language  as  decided  as  her  husband's  against  the 
plan,  but  speaking  of  her  husband  in  terms  of 
such  sarcasm  and  mysterious  reproach,  that  I  was 
convinced,  whatever  might  be  his  objections  to 
the  proposed  disposition  of  the  property,  they 
were  very  different  in  character  from  his  wife's. 
I  gave  her  the  same  answer  :  a  week  passed 
over,  and  a  brother  of  the  wife  in  India  also 
favored  me  with  a  visit,  and  dropped  many 
hints  of  the  general  dissatisfaction  that  all  the 
family  would  feel,  not  excepting  his  brother- 
in-law,  if  Frederic  were  allowed  the  unre- 
stricted enjoyment  of  the  interest  of  his  chil- 
dren's expectant  fortunes.  On  perceiving  the 
universal  repugnance  to  the  proposed  distribu- 
tion, I  thought  it  right  to  suggest  to  my  client 
the  propriety  of  reconsidering  his  instructions ; 


844  ADVENTURES    OF    AN   ATTORNEY 

he  was  a  man  of  very  manageable  and  reason- 
able temper,  and  determined  on  having  an 
immediate  explanation  with  his  children ;  but 
the  result  was  far  from  satisfactory;  no  plan 
that  he  could  devise  would  meet  all  their 
wishes,  though  it  led  to  certain  discoveries  that 
menaced  eternal  discord,  and  even  a  separation 
of  Frederic  and  his  wife:  the  latter  charged 
him  with  infidelity,  and  the  brother  of  the  wife 
in  India  corroborated  the  charge.  Frederic 
denied  it  with  indignation,  but  in  vain ;  it 
seemed  that  his  wife  had  for  a  long  time  past 
indulged  herself  in  dogging  his  steps,  intercept- 
ing his  letters,  bribing  his  servants,  and  such 
like  honorable  reconnoissances  too  frequent  with 
jealous  ladies;  and  the  fact  was  too  truly 
ascertained  that  poor  Frederic  was  in  the  habit 
of  visiting  a  fair  creature  that  lived  in  a  village 
near  town.  The  father  was  much  incensed,  the 
son  not  less  so,  and  the  wife  the  worst  of  all ; 
for  Frederic,  while  he  vowed  his  innocence, 
also  vowed  that  no  power  on  earth  should 
make  him  drop  acquaintance  with  the  girl,  or 
continue  it  with  his  jealous  vixen  of  a  wife. 
This  wras  the  state  of  affairs  when  I  was  invited 
b}"  common  consent  to  arbitrate   between  the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  .°>4"> 

parties.  I  exerted  myself  to  probe  the  case  to 
the  bottom,  but  T  could  make  nothing  of  it 
consistent  with  Frederic's  innocence,  and  more 
especially  when  even  to  my  friendly  and  quiet 
remonstrances,  he  contented  himself  with  giv- 
ing an  emphatic  negative  to  all  hope  of  his 
detaching  himself  from  this  unfortunate  con- 
nexion. I  set  it  down  to  infatuation,  ac- 
quiesced in  the  necessity  of  his  allowing  his 
wife  a  separate  maintenance,  and  concurred 
with  the  father  and  all  the  rest  of  the  family  in 
the  expediency  of  altering  the  testamentary 
arrangements.  Frederic,  to  avoid  the  painful 
eclat  of  an  exposure,  went  to  spend  eight  months 
in  Italy.  At  the  end  of  that  time  he  returned, 
and  the  whole  mystery  was  now  cleared  up : 
the  generous  fellow  would  rather  have  died  than 
disclosed  it  without  his  brother's  sanction,  nor 
was  it  ever  disclosed  beyond  the  family,  till  his 
sister-in-law  in  India  died.  The  supposed 
chere  amie,  the  cause  of  all  the  clatter,  was  a 
former  wife  of  the  brother  in  India,  a  girl  of 
low  character,  whom  he  had  married  in  a  fit 
of  folly.  Frederic  was  the  only  one  intrusted 
with   the  secret,   and  he  sacrificed  himself  to 

save  his  brother  from  an  indictment  for  bieramv. 
lo* 


846  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

and  perhaps  "a  bullet  through  the  thorax" 
as  preparatory  thereto.  It  was  scarcely  less 
generous  of  him  to  withhold  the  explanation 
from  me;  for  had  he  given  it,  my  own  em- 
barrassment as  to  the  course  to  be  pursued, 
would  have  been  not  inferior  to  his :  to  have 
divulged  it  to  his  wife  would  have  been  the 
same  thing  as  advertising  it  in  the  Times ;  to 
have  explained  it  to  the  father  would  have, 
necessarily,  caused  the  disinheritance  of  the 
brother,  and  without  divulging  it  to  one  or  the 
other,  I  could  have  hoped  for  no  credit  to  my 
attestation  of  his  innocence.  I  was  thankful 
for  the  escape. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  347 


CHAPTER    XXIII. 

"A  rotten  case  abides  no  handling."— Hen.  IV. 

"Orleans.    He  never  did  harm  that  I  heard  of. 
Constable.    Nor  will  do  none  to-morrow." — Hen.  V. 

I  have  scribbled  away  in  rather  a  desultory 
vein  for  some  time  past;  bnt  it  is  difficult  to 
say  whether  it  fatigues  one  more  to  write  or  to 
read  a  work  duly  arranged  under  heads  and 
subdivisions,  in  the  orthodox  style  of  pulpit 
eloquence.  It  wearies  one  uncommonly,  to  be 
on  an  eternal  hunt  for  the  "  thread  of  the  dis- 
course," however  necessary  it  may  be  to  help 
one  through  a  labyrinth  of  doctrinal  and  prac- 
tical intricacy.  It  is  all  very  well  in  a  brief: 
there  the  duty  is  to  instruct,  amusement  being 
wholly  out  of  the  question ;  if  the  nature  of  the 
cause  admits  of  it,  and  wit  is  ready,  an  attorney 
may  venture  to  carry  the  utile  dulci  principle 
even  into  his  brief,  but  he  must  do  it  very  skill- 
fully; most  counsel  only  read    every  alternate 


348  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

page,  some  not  quite  so  much;  lie  may  therefore 
venture  so  far  as  to  carry  on  the  argument 
through  the  first,  third,  fifth,  and  alternate 
pages,  and  the  jest  through  the  intermediate 
ones;  only  taking  the  precaution  so  to  adjust  the 
tastes  of  his  leader  and  junior,  as  to  make  sure 
of  the  one  reading  the  facts,  if  the  other  is  con- 
tent with  the  jokes — both  tell  equally  in  taxa- 
tion of  costs,  and  that  is,  of  course,  our  first 
care.  I  have  taken  this  rule  for  my  guide,  in 
drawing  my  brief  for  the  public  :  the  price  of  a 
book  depends  on  its  length,  not  on  its  merit ; 
hence,  in  the  affair  of  taxation,  I  shall  be  at  all 
events  a  gainer;  the  public  rarely  read  more 
than  half  a  book,  if  they  look  at  it  at  all :  of 
those  who  do  read,  the  leaders  read  for  instruc- 
tion, the  juniors  for  amusement;  but  there  are 
twenty  juniors  for  one  leader :  hence,  every 
author  who  wants  a  liberal  allowance  of  costs 
from  his  publisher,  (and  they  are  sad  screws, 
even  the  best  of  them,)  should  give  twenty 
pages  of  nonsense  for  one  of  argument.  Can 
there  be  a  better  apology  for  a  desultory  vein  ? 
But  I  will  prove,  nevertheless,  that  I  am  not 
wholly  lost  to  the  duty  of  method  in  composi- 
tion, by  reminding  my  reader  that  I  have  told 


IN    SEARCH    OP   PRACTICE.  349 

him  how  to  keep  upon  terms  with  clients, 
counsel,  attorneys,  and  witnesses  ;  and  here  we 
might  suppose  that  we  had  laid  down  all  the 
shoals  in  the  professional  chart;  I  should  be 
an  unskillful  pilot,  however,  if  I  withheld  a 
word  of  advice  on  conducting  a  vessel  safely, 
when  she  proves  not  altogether  seaworthy ;  or 
to  drop  my  metaphor,  a  hint  on  the  manage- 
ment of  awkward  cases,  may  not  be  out  of  place. 
A  single  iD stance  will  explain  what  I  mean  by 
an  "  awkward  case."  I  have  given  a  few  of 
them  already,  but  only  by  way  of  illustrating 
some  collateral  point. 

Personal  squabbles  where  both  parties  are  in 
the  wrong,  that  is,  ninety-nine  out  of  a  hun- 
dred, are  very  "  awkward  cases ; "  and  more 
especially  where  the  symptoms  indicate  a  breach 
of  the  peace ;  but  this  is  rare ;  peace  in  a  legal 
sense,  is  very  seldom  broken  when  an  attorney 
gets  an  inkling  of  the  matter,  though  it  is  not 
always  easy  to  keep  up  appearances  as  well  as 
if  it  were.  An  affair  of  this  kind  occurred  to 
me  some  years  ago.  The  senior  performers  in 
the  scene  were  two  highly  respectable  tradesmen, 
in  wealthy  circumstances,  and  with  whose 
families  I  was  on  terms  of  equal  intimacy.     1 


350  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

have  often  noticed  that  young  gentlemen  in 
this  class  of  life,  are  more  eager  aspirants  after 
gory  fame,  and  more  touchy  on  questions  of 
honor,  than  those  of  purer  patrician  blood. 

I  had  reached  the  enviable  certainty  of  profes- 
sional income  that  warrants  a  beginner  (in 
modern  days)  in  riding  daily  to  his  office  from 
cheerful  lodgings  at  Hampstead.  It  is  an  idle 
habit,  I  confess;  and  one  of  the  evils  of  it  is  that 
twenty  minutes  are  daily  lounged  over  a  news- 
paper, before  one  has  courage  to  open  the  gener- 
al post  letters.  This  was  my  occupation  when 
in  rolled  Mr.  Watty,  in  agitation  that  seemed 
to  portend  a  ne  exeat  regno  for  a  debtor  to  a  large 
amount.  He  was  a  man  of  that  convivial  cut, 
that  somehow  or  other  one  seldom  sees  out  of 
the  city;  of  the  ordinary  height,  but  of  far  more 
than  ordinary  rotundity.  He,  like  another  of 
my  heroes,  carried  before  him  a  semisphere  that 
argued  capacity  of  the  highest  order;  and  it 
would  have  been  as  hard  for  him  as  for  Falstaff 
to  have  seen  his  own  knees,  but  for  a  happy 
provision  of  aSTature,  who  from  his  birth  must 
have  foreseen  the  necessity  of  guarding  against 
this  inconvenience  :  his  lower  extremities  des- 
cribed a  conic  section,  of  which  the  minor  axis 


EN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  351 

was  to  the  major  in  the  proportion  of  live  to 
six;  rotundity  was  the  character  of  his  whole 
person ;  his  head  was  round ;  his  face  was 
round;  his  —  in  short,  a  perfect  circularity  of 
outline  marked  the  man. 

"  Dreadful  affair,  Mr.  Sharpe  !  sad  business 
this ! "  and  he  wiped  away  the  perspiration 
from  his  forehead,  while  he  paused  to  recover 
breath.     "  What's  to  be  done,  Sir  ?  eh  ?  " 

"  I  have  heard  nothing  about  it,  Mr.  Watty." 

"Don't  know  how  you  should  —  only  heard 
it  myself  an  hour  ago." 

"  What's  the  matter  ?  " 

"Tom  Watty  — Tom  Wildblood  —  Tom 
Devil  wants  to  be  shot :  that's  all !  —  always 
thought  he'd  be  hanged  soon  enough." 

"  Enlisted,  I  suppose  ?  " 

"'Listed! — wish  he  were,  or  any  thing  else 
in  an  honest  way.  He's  as  sure  to  be  hanged 
as  my  name's  Watty  :  that  is,  if  he  be  not  shot." 

"  Who  is  going  to  shoot  him  ?  has  he  got 
into  a  quarrel  ?  " 

"That's  where  it  is — you've  just  hit  it  — 
head  over  ears  in  a  quarrel,  and  no  help  for  it !  " 

"  Well,  let  him  get  out  of  it  for  himself:  he 
will  know  better  another  time." 


352  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  Meanwhile  he's  shot !  a  dead  man,  Mr. 
Sharpe !     What's  to  be  done  ?  " 

"  There's  a  challenge  then  ?  " 

"  Didn't  I  tell  you  so  an  hour  ago  ?  " 

"  No  :  where  is  he  ?  " 

"Snug  at  home — locked  him  up  while  I 
came  to  you." 

"  Go  back  to  him  then ;  take  him  in  a  coach 
to  Bow  street ;  lock  him  up  there ;  and  he'll  be 
obliged  to  you  all  his  life." 

"  ISTo  use  without  you — the  dog's  turned 
sulk}7  —  swears  he'll  fight  —  no  holding  him." 

"  Trust  me  for  that;  off  with  him  to  Bow 
street ;  I'll  meet  you  there  in  half  an  hour,  and 
you'll  see  that  he  is  as  quiet  as  a  lamb." 

Mr.  Watty  waddled  away  a  little  assured, 
and  as  soon  as  I  had  read  my  letters,  I  proposed 
following  him ;  but  I  was  scarcely  ready,  when 
I  was  intercepted  by  his  friend  and  neighbor, 
Mr.  Gillett,  a  very  prosperous  tailor,  who  had 
gradually  mounted  from  the  shop-board  to  the 
elevation  of  an  army  contractor.  Gillett  was 
the  very  antipodes  of  my  friend  Watty,  as  neat 
and  dapper  in  figure  as  he  was  in  dress,  and 
very  meek  and  quiet  withal.  He  was  accom- 
panied by  a  stripling  of  nineteen  or  twenty, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  353 

whose  small  foppery  and  exuberant  self-com- 
placency were  precisely  of  that  class  that  raise; 
the  foot  involuntary  into  the  position  of  an 
incipient  kick ;  and  the  monkey  affected  mus- 
tachios  too  ! 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Sharpe,"  began 
the  father,  "  I  see  that  I  am  interrupting  your 
letters;  but  you  will  excuse  me,  Sir,  when  you 
hear  my  unhappy  story.  This  young  gentle- 
man— I  am  sorry  to  mention  it,  I  am  indeed, 
Sir,  —  this  young  gentleman  makes  me  ashamed 
of  myself!  he  really  does,  Sir!  he  makes  me 
ashamed  of  myself,  and  of  him  too,  Sir  !  " 

"ISTo  need  of  that,  father  !  I've  done  nothing 
for  a  gentleman  to  be  ashamed  of:  a  gentleman 
must  act  like  a  gentleman,  father  !  " 

"  I  don't  deny  it,  Harry  :  I  don't  deny  it,  by 
no  means.  I  know  what  is  due  to  a  gentle- 
man, or  I  never  could  have  made  you  one, 
Harry;  but  it  is  not  genteel,  not  at  all  genteel 
to  my  thinking,  to  be  talking  of  pulling  of  a 
gentleman's  nose.  I'll  be  judged  by  Mr. 
Sharpe  if  it  is." 

"  Certainly  not ;  but  what's  all  this  about  ? " 

"  My  honor,  Sir,"  cackled  out  the  lad  in  a 
mincing   tone,    and    drawing  his   fore -ringer 


354  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

down  each  moustache  the  way  of  the  gram, 
"  my  honor  has  been  insulted,  Sir  (hem)  —  and 
father  here  won't  let  me  have  that  [hem)  —  that 
ample  satisfaction,  Sir,  that  a  gentleman,  in 
my  humble  opinion,  is  entitled  to,  Sir," 

"  Pray  who  has  insulted  y  our  honor  ?  I  don't 
understand  you." 

"ISTor  I  neither,  Mr.  Sharpe:  I  don't  know 
what  the  boy  means  at  all,  not  I.  I  have 
lived  to  be  fifty,  and  my  honor  was  never  in- 
sulted yet,  as  I  know  of." 

"  !N~o  boy  either,  father,  if  you  please:  you 
forget  that  I've  left  school  these  two  years,  and 
kept  three  terms." 

"  Were  I  your  father,  Sir,  I  would  send  you 
back  again,  and  have  your  honor  insulted  to 
some  purpose.  You  have  been  sending  a  chal- 
lenge, I  conclude,  to  some  juvenile  puppy  like 
yourself?  " 

"  Thank  ye,  Mr.  Sharpe,  thank  ye  for  that : 
that't  just  what  I've  been  a  saying  to  him  all 
along,  or  what  I  wished  to  say,  for  I  didn't 
exactly  know  how." 

"Ra-ally,  Mr.  Sharpe, — ra-ally,  Sir,  on  my 
honor  1  can't  say,  Sir  —  I  ra-ally  scarcely 
know,  Sir,  how  I  am  to  understand  this.     Do 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  355 

you  mean,  —  that  is,  am  I  to  suppose,  Sir  —  do 
you  mean  to  insult  me,  Sir  ?  " 

And  thereupon  Mr.  Harry  Gillett  began  to 
stare,  and  frown,  and  look  uncommonly  fierce. 
I  regarded  him  sternly  for  about  a  minute, 
without  replying  to  this  piece  of  swagger,  or 
seeming  to  notice  it;  and  still  keeping  my  eye 
upon  him,  I  addressed  myself  to  his  father. 
"  How  did  the  lad  get  into  this  mess  ?  " 
"  All  about  a  lady,  Sir  —  a  handkerchief,  I  be- 
lieve— both  picked  it  up,  and  knocked  their  heads 
together;  but  I  can't  get  to  the  rights  of  it." 

"  And  thereupon  Master  Harry  sent  a  chal- 
lenge ? " 
"Yes." 

"  And  who  is  the  other  blockhead  ?  " 
"  Mr.  William  Watty." 
"  The  grocer's  son  ?  " 
"  Yes." 

"  Well,  young  gentleman,  do  you  propose  to 
carry  this  farce  any  further  ?  " 

"Ra-ally,  Sir,  (still  stroking  the  dear  mus- 
taches,) my  honor  compels  me,  Sir;  sorry  to 
disoblige  the  governor,  Sir;  but  my  honor 
leaves  me  no  alternative,  Sir.  I  ra-ally  mean 
fighting  :  T  do  indeed,  Sir." 


356  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

"  Vcrv  well :  then  we'll  all  fi^ht  it  out  to- 
gether." 

And  accordingly  I  sent  for  a  coach ;  and  we 
all  got  into  it — Master  Harry  not  evincing  the 
least  reluctance.  We  arrived  at  Bow  street; 
stated  the  case  quietly  to  the  magistrate ;  and 
he,  with  great  judgment,  bound  over  the  lad  in 
his  own  recognizance,  for  ten  pounds,  and  at 
my  earnest  request,  required  two  sureties  in 
twenty  pounds  more.  Watty's  son,  who  had 
preceded  us  only  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  was 
subjected  to  the  same  terms ;  and  I  prevailed 
on  both  parents  to  refuse  their  aid,  so  the  boys 
were  comfortably  locked  up  together  for  want 
of  sureties,  to  fight  it  out  in  a  closet  ten  feet 
square.  To  make  sure  of  the  babies  having 
enough  of  it,  uninterrupted  by  paternal  tender- 
ness, I  carried  Messrs.  Watty  and  Gillett  home 
to  dine  with  me,  kept  them  late  over  a  bottle  of 
wine,  and  returned  to  the  police-office  about 
nine  in  the  evening,  to  give  bail  for  the  young 
gentlemen,  "if  we  found  them  agreeable,"  as 
the  tailor  called  it ;  and  agreeable  enough  they 
were.  They  were  still  in  custody ;  but  being 
half- starved  in  consequence  of  being  locked  up 
since  eleven  o'clock,  and  having  but  ten  shillings 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  357 

between  them,  they  had  clubbed  their  purses 
together,  sent  out  for  a  steak  and  a  bottle  of 
wine,  and  were  as  sociable  and  merry  as  twin 
brothers  over  a  birthday  cake  ! 

Another  awkward  case  of  similar,  but  more 
serious  character,  occurred  to  me  about  the 
same  time ;  in  this  instance,  however,  I  was  in- 
vited to  be  "  the  friend,"  as  it  is  called,  not  the 
attorney.  A  distant  connexion  of  my  own,  a 
young  barrister  who  has  since  obtained  very 
extensive  and  well- merited  success,  called  on 
me  with  a  letter  that  he  had  just  received  from 
a  military  man,  a  captain  on  half- pay,  but 
once  belonging  to  a  distinguished  hussar  regi- 
ment, and  a  frequent  guest,  as  I  have  been  in- 
formed, at  Carlton  House.  This  letter  purport- 
ed to  be  a  chastising  lecture  for  certain  indiscre- 
tions of  which  my  young  friend  (he  was  not 
then  two -and -twenty)  had  been  guilty  to  a 
widow  lady — pardoned,  though  not  pardonable 
indiscretions.  The  gallant  captain  was  no  re- 
lation to  the  fair  widow;  but  he  had  certain 
designs  upon  her,  not  of  the  most  creditable 
kind,  which  I  will  presently  explain.  He  adopt- 
ed this  chivalrous  course  to  obtain  her  confi- 
dence in  furtherance  of  those  designs.     I  read 


358  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

the  letter;  and  plain  enough  it  certainly  was, 
though  writtela  more  in  the  tone  of  bitter  ex- 
postulation than  studied  insult. 

"  "What  do  you  think  of  it,  Sharpe?  " 

" '  Tis  intelligible  enough,  certainly ;  but 
you  know  you  have  behaved  very  ill." 

"  ~No  doubt  of  that. ;  but  it  is  no  affair  of  his ; 
nor,  I  am  sure,  would  you  wish  me  to  keep  up 
such  a  connexion." 

"  Certainly  not ;  but  you  might  have  broken 
it  off  more  gently." 

"  Perhaps  I  might,  but  it  is  no  affair  of  his : 
will  you  call  on  the  man  for  me  ?  " 

"  Call  on  him  !  do  you  mean  call  him  out  ?  " 

"  To  be  sure  I  do.  I  can't  put  up  with  this, 
of  course !  " 

"  And  you  want  me  to  be  your  second  ?  " 

"  I  do." 

Here  was  another  ridiculous  affair;  except 
that  the  young  gentleman's  birth  and  profes- 
sion, and  the  aggravated  character  of  the  insult, 
furnished  him  with  a  quasi  apology — his  op- 
ponent being  also  a  man  of  family  as  well  as  an 
officer.  I  felt  that  this  was  no  case  for  masris- 
terial  interference,  and  I  was  persuaded  that  if 
I  declined  the  office,  he  would  get  into  worse 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  359 

hands  before  the  day  was  over ;  so  after  a  little 
reflection,  I  consented  to  take  his  message. 
We  prepared  a  reply  in  the  usual  form,  and 
away  I  posted  to  the  captain's  lodgings.  I 
sent  up  my  card,  and  found  him  lounging  over 
his  breakfast,  though  it  was  long  past  noon. 
He  received  me  with  extreme  courtesy. 

"  I  have  called  on  you,  Sir,  in  consequence 
of  a  letter  that  you  have  addressed  to  Mr. 
Stephenson." 

"  I  expected  to  hear  from  Mr.  Stephenson, 
Sir,"  stiffly  inclining  his  head. 

"Your  expectation,  whatever  it  may  have 
been,  will  not  be  disappointed,  Sir,"  I  replied 
with  equal  hauteur.  "  I  have  a  letter  from  him 
in  my  pocket."  He  extended  his  hand  to  re- 
ceive it :  but  I  did  not  even  offer  it. 

"  Excuse  me,  Captain  Ran  son  :  before  I  de- 
liver this  letter,  for  there  is  a  responsibility  in 
delivering  as  well  as  in  sending  it,  I  must 
entreat  you  to  indulge  me  with  a  word  of  ex- 
planation on  my  own  account.  I  have  read 
your  letter  to  Mr.  Stephenson,  and  I  must 
frankly  avow  that  I  do  not  understand  it," 

"  I  thought  I  had  written  with  sufficient 
plainness,  Sir:  I  intended  to  do  so." 


860  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

"  It  is  very  plain,  undoubtedly,  except  in  one 
important  point,  and  it  is  by  your  explanation 
on  that  point  that  I  must  be  guided  in  my  own 
further  interference. 

"  To  what  do  you  allude  ? " 

"  Why  did  you  write  it  at  all  ?  " 

"  After  Mr.  Stephenson's  behavior  to  Mrs. 
Roberts,  I  conceive  that  any  gentleman  of  her 
acquaintance  is  entitled  to  remonstrate  with 
him." 

"  Then  you  designed  it  as  a  remonstrance, 
Capt.  Ranson?  am  I  to  put  that  construction 
upon  it  ? " 

"  You  ma)  put  what  construction  you  please 
on  it,  Sir." 

"  I  avail  myself  of  that  permission.  In  refer- 
ence to  your  seniority  (he  was  more  than  forty), 
you  were  entitled,  as  a  friend  of  both  parties,  to 
speak  in  the  language  of  paternal  remonstrance 
to  one  who  is  young  enough  to  be  your  son. 
I  shall,  therefore,  tell  him  that  I  have  your 
authority  for  viewing  the  letter  in  that  light; 
and  under  that  impression,  I  shall,  with  your 
leave,  throw  his  answer  in  the  fire  ?  " 

"  Exactly  as  you  think  proper,  Sir." 

"  Very  well  :   then  I  burn  it." 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  361 

And  I  threw  the  challenge  into  the  fire.  The 
man  rose  from  his  seat,  spontaneously  took  me 
by  the  hand,  and  cordially  shaking  it,  said, 

"  Sir,  you  may  go  further,  and  tell  Stephen- 
son that  I  am  heartily  sorry  that  T  wrote  it,  and 
will  gladly  shake  hands  with  him  too;  but 
that  yon  may  see  I  was  prepared  for  you,  had 
you  not  so  ingeniously  settled  the  matter,  my 
friend  Captain  Thornton  is  in  the  next  room, 
and  will  show  you  the  letter  that  brought  him 
here." 

And  true  enough,  he  introduced  me  to  Cap- 
tain Thornton,  who  came  in  with  a  note  still 
open  in  his  hand,  that  had  been  written  an 
hour  before  I  called,  to  request  his  assistance  at 
the  expected  meeting !  I  am  sorry  that  I  must 
dispel  the  favorable  impression  likely  to  be  pro- 
duced on  the  mind  of  the  reader  by  this  gener- 
ous trait,  by  giving  the  remainder  of  the 
"awkward  case."  About  a  month  after  this 
eclair cissement,  Mrs.  Roberts,  the  lady  in  ques- 
tion, called  on  me  to  ask  my  advice,  the  gallant 
captain  having  availed  himself  of  the  hold  he 
had  acquired  upon  her  confidence  by  thus  es- 
pousing her  wrongs,  to  rob  her  of  £1800  stock, 
having   obtained  her  signature  to  a  power   of 

1G 


£J62      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

attorney  to  transfer  it.  under  pretense  that  it 
was  only  a  power  to  receive  her  dividends  for 
her  !  I  was  compelled  to  tell  her  that  she  had 
no  remedy,  and  she  went  away  in  despair.  The 
next  day  she  again  came  to  tell  me  he  had  also 
stolen  a  gold  watch  from  her  dressing-case. 
The  evidence  was  conclusive;  and  though  it 
was  business  of  that  class  that  I  could  not 
undertake  myself,  I  gave  her  a  letter  of  intro- 
duction to  a  very  celebrated  attorney  ,who  soon 
availed  himself  of  the  gold  watch  to  recover 
the  stock.  He  obtained  a  warrant  for  the  cap- 
tain, and  then  wrote  to  a  noble  lord,  his  cousin, 
and  explaining  the  circumstances,  informed 
him  that  he  would  be  brought  up  for  examina- 
tion the  following  day.  His  lordship  replied 
that  he  would  be  too  happy  to  see  the  fellow 
transported ;  but  the  attorney  was  not  "  to  be 
done"  this  way.  The  captain  was  remanded  ; 
and  he  then  wrote  to  the  noble  cousin,  "  I  do 
not  intend  to  transport  him,  my  lord:  I  shall 
hang  him."  This  very  laconic  rejoinder  pro- 
duced the  money  before  the  re -examination, 
when  of  course,  a  link  in  the  chain  of  evidence 
was  wanting,  and  all  parties  were  satisfied. 
I  cannot  do  things  of  this  sort  myself,  but  I 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  863 

do  not  blame  others  who  are  less  scrupulous; 
and  therefore,  this  hint  on  the  management  of 
"awkward  cases"  is  not  superfluous.  The 
offense  was  at  that  time  capital ;  and  the  cap- 
tain would  undoubtedly  have  been  hanged,  if 
only  because  he  was  a  captain,  with  a  noble 
lord  then  high  in  office,  for  his  cousin. 

I  have  already  observed,  that  attorneys  are 
very  rarely  consulted  on  any  case  of  duelling, 
till  the  danger  has  passed  away,  if  it  ever 
existed  :  but  our  assistance  is  sometimes  wanted 
in  that  stage  of  the  squabble,  which  is,  of  all 
others,  the  most  difficult  to  manage  ;  and  hence 
I  class  these  disputes  among  the  "  awkward 
cases."  "We  are  usually  consulted  precisely  at 
the  moment  when  the  hostile  intention  has  got 
wind,  but  while  there  is  yet  time  to  frustrate  it, 
without  public  exposure;  if  we  immediately 
take  alarm  with  our  client,  and  hurry  off  to  a 
magistrate  for  a  warrant,  we  run  the  hazard  of 
disgracing  both  parties,  by  exciting  a  suspicion 
that  the  interruption  is  intended;  and  conse- 
quently we  provoke  the  principals,  if  really 
spirited  men,  to  cross  the  channel  that  they  may 
fight  it  out  in  peace  :  yet,  on  the  other  hand,  it 
must  be  acknowledged  that  it  is  a  great  stretch 


•364  ADVENTURES    OP    AN    ATTORNEY 

of  professional  discretion,  to  remain  seated  be- 
fore the  fire,  with  our  hands  in  our  breeches 
pockets,  like  Sir  Francis  Head  at  the  revolt  in 
Canada,  when  a  brother,  or  father,  or  female 
relative,  is  imploring  our  assistance  to  prevent 
a  man  being  shot  in  presenti,  or  hanged  infuturo. 
This  case  is  not  sounfrequent  as  ma}-  be  sup- 
posed, and  its  frequency  has  led  me  to  certain 
deductions  not  very  creditable  to  the  chivalry 
of  the  age.  I  certainly  have  more  than  once 
been  asked  to  interfere  in  cases  where  I  was  well 
assured  that  no  design  existed  of  willful  indis- 
cretion :  one  of  these  cases  was  so  singular, 
though  the  hostile  purpose  in  this  instance  was 
certainly  entertained,  that  I  cannot  help  notic- 
ing it ;  more  especially  as  I  believe  that  the  party 
implicated  was  exposed  to  some  unmerited  re- 
proach among  his  domestic  circle.  The  usual 
message  had  been  sent  —  the  usual  reference 
given  to  a  friend ;  and  the  seconds  were  engaged 
in  an  attempt  at  explanation,  previously  to  ad- 
justing the  preliminaries  of  war.  The  princi- 
pal on  whose  behalf  an  appeal  was  made  to  me, 
was  a  married  man,  but  his  wife  and  family 
were  at  a  watering-place,  fifty  miles  from  Lon- 
don ;  he  therefore  thought  himself  quite  safe  in 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  365 

staving  at  his  town  residence  as  usual,  while  he 
waited  for  the  orders  of  his  second;  it  so  hap- 
pened that  he  had  remitted  to  his  wife,  two  days 
hefore  the  message  was  delivered,  a  hank  note 
for  a  considerable  amount:  he  had  sent  this  by 
a  friend,  and  had  written  by  the  post,  to  tell 
her  he  had  sent  it.  The  post  letter  arrived  at 
its  destination,  but  his  friend  had  been  obliged 
to  defer  his  journey,  and  the  bank  note  conse- 
quently never  arrived :  he  had  not  stated  in  his 
letter  anything  more  than  that  he  had  sent  the 
note,  neither  mentioning  the  name  of  the  party 
by  whom  he  sent  it,  nor  the  conveyance  by 
which  he  was  going.  "W~hen  a  second  day  had 
passed  without  the  arrival  of  the  note,  the  lady 
was  so  alarmed  lest  it  should  have  miscarried, 
that  she  immediately  put  herself  into  a  coach, 
and  came  to  London,  naturally  proceeding  in 
the  first  instance,  to  her  own  house  :  her  hus- 
band was  not  at  home,  and,  on  going  up  to  her 
room,  she  found  his  morning  dress  lying  upon 
a  chair ;  on  inquiry  for  him  of  her  servants, 
they  could  give  her  no  reply,  except  that  he  had 
been  at  home  all  the  day,  with  orders  to  deny 
him  to  every  body,  except  Colonel  Jones  —  that 
he  had  changed  his  dress  half  an  hour  before, 


366  ADVENTURES    OP    AN   ATTORNEY 

and  gone  to  Colonel  Jones's  to  dinner:  she  im- 
mediately sent  her  servant  there,  to  say  that  she 
had  returned  home,  and  was  expecting  him,  as 
soon  as  he  could  get  away :  the  servant  went 
upon  his  errand,  and  delivered  the  message,  hut 
was  desired  hy  his  master  to  wait.  Meanwhile, 
the  lady  finding  that  the  man  did  not  return, 
became  uneasy,  and  dispatched  her  coachman 
after  him ;  this  messenger  was  also  detained : 
she  then  was  preparing  to  go  to  bed,  but  direct- 
ed her  maid  to  empty  the  pockets  of  her  master's 
coat,  and  replace  it  in  the  wardrobe ;  the  girl 
obeyed  her,  and  took  out  several  letters,  which 
she  laid  on  the  dressing-table,  the  uppermost 
having  Colonel  Jones's  name  at  the  corner  of 
the  address:  the  lady  very  naturally  opened  it, 
thinking  it  was  probably  an  invitation  to  dinner 
that  day,  and  might  tend  to  explain  the  inatten- 
tion to  her  repeated  messages;  she  found  to  her 
horror,  that  it  was  an  appointment  for  the  fol- 
lowing morning,  so  worded  that  she  could  not 
entertain  a  doubt  of  its  meaning,  especially  when 
coupled  with  the  fact  of  her  husband  having 
denied  himself  to  every  body  except  Colonel 
Jones.  In  fact,  he  had  gone  to  the  Colonel's 
for  the  express  purpose  of  making  the  necessary 


IX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  867 

arrangements:  she  Lad  the  presence  of  mind  to 
come  to  me  at  my  residence,  instead  of  follow- 
ing her  husband.  I  was  enabled  by  means  of 
my  own  servant's  renseignemens  below  stairs,  to 
trace  bis  steps  from  the  Colonel's  house,  and, 
of  course,  I  lost  no  time  in  following  him  to 
his  place  of  concealment.  By  my  interposition, 
everything  was  satisfactorily  settled,  and,  to 
this  hour,  there  are  not,  as  I  believe,  twenty  in- 
dividuals out  of  their  respective  families,  that 
have  even  a  suspicion  of  the  matter. 

I  have  been  the  more  particular  in  these  de- 
tails, to  show  how  easily  a  case  may  happen  in 
which  such  affairs  get  wind,  without  the  least 
reproach  to  any  of  the  parties ;  but  still  I  agree 
with  the  world  in  thinking  that  in  most  cases, 
the  carelessness  is  willful ;  and  hence  I  infer  that 
it  may  safely  be  assumed,  that  the  principals  in 
an  intended  duel,  unless  they  are  juvenile  fools 
who  will  risk  every  thing  for  a  little  eclat,  meet 
reluctantly,  and  would  gladly  not  meet  at  all  ; 
nor  is  this  any  reproach  to  them;  for  a  man 
who  could  face  the  cannon's  mouth  under  a 
sense  of  duty,  may  be  pardoned,  without  an}* 
slur  upon  his  courage,  for  entering  with  nervous 
apprehension  upon  an  encounter  without  a  tenth 


868  ADVENTURES    OF    AN   ATTORNEY 

of  the  danger,  where  duty  and  conscience,  in 
spite  of  all  the  sophistry  of  the  world,  must  tell 
him  that  he  is  wrong:  not  only  wrong,  but,  in 
some  sense,  committing  the  only  unpardonable 
sin. 

Acting  upon  this  principle,  whenever  I  have 
been  called  upon  to  interfere  in  an  "awkward 
case"  of  this  description,  whether  as  a  solicitor, 
or  a  friend,  my  first  maxim  has  been  to  "  soft- 
solder  "  the  party  into  a  qualified  acknowledg- 
ment of  error :  and  this  is  not  difficult,  after 
intimating  in  the  gentlest  way,  that  a  meeting  is 
out  of  the  question,  measures  being  ready  to 
prevent  it,  but  that  your  object  is  to  avoid  giv- 
ing publicity  to  the  disappointment.  It  is  not 
always  possible,!  admit,  for  a  second  to  do  this, 
but  it  is  always  possible  to  the  attorney,  and 
generally  so  to  the  friend,  before  he  becomes  a 
second.  A  generous  man,  moreover,  is  always 
ready  to  acknowledge  error :  he  only  hesitates 
lest  it  should  be  thought  that  he  is  driven  into 
the  acknowledgement  by  fear.  I  have  then  pro- 
ceeded, careless  about  any  introduction  but  my 
own,  to  the  antagonist,  and  being  careful,  in  the 
same  way,  to  premise  that  all  my  object  is  to 
avoid  publicity  to  a  necessary  interruption  of 


VX    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  360 

the  ceremony,  T  have  succeeded  with  him  with 
as  little  difficulty  as  with  the  other;  a  due  reser- 
vation heing  always,  of  course,  made  for  the 
arbitrament  of  their  respective  seconds.  These 
gentlemen  are  the  most  difficult  to  manage,  but 
a  professional  go-between,  if  gifted  with  any 
dexterity  of  address,  can  manage  such  matters 
wonderfully,  provided  he  only  takes  care  to  in- 
timate, with  all  possible  courtesy,  that  his  object 
is  to  insure  secrecy  in  a  case  which  will  grain 
credit  for  nobody  in  Westminster  Hall. 

It  may  well  be  supposed,  that  no  individual 
can  lay  claim  to  so  much  experience  in  such 
affairs,  as  to  lay  down  these  general  rules  ex 
cathedra.  I  certainly  have  never  had  above 
half-a-dozen  cases  of  the  kind  occur  to  me,  in 
five  -  and  -  twenty  years  of  practice ;  but  I  suspect 
that  although  we  scarcely  hear  of  half-a-dozen 
duels  in  the  course  of  a  year,  there  are  at  least 
half- a -hundred  cases  within  the  same  time,  in 
which  matters  would  proceed  to  extremity,  but 
for  the  interposition  of  judicious,  or  injudicious 
friends  :  where  the  judgment  is  wanting,  recon- 
ciliation is  not  effected  without  discredit  to  one 
party  or  the  other;  my  object  is  to  guide  such 

interference  with  judgment. 
10* 


370  ADVENTURES    OP    AN    ATTORNEY 

All  cases  of  quarreling  between  private 
friends,  though  they  stop  short  of  the  extreme 
of  personal  conflict,  are  very  "  awkward  cases," 
when  recourse  is  had  to  professional  inter- 
ference; private  quarrels  become  implacable 
exactly  in  proportion  as  they  become  public, 
and  when  they  originate  in  pecuniary  questions, 
as  they  generally  do  if  they  require  our  aid,  it  is 
not  easy  to  avoid  giving  publicity  to  them.  Tt 
is  very  difficult  to  manage  such  matters  by 
rule;  we  must  be  guided  by  the  importance  of 
the  sum  in  controversy  —  by  the  relative  posi- 
tion of  the  parties  —  by  their  respective  tempers, 
and  personal  character;  whatever  these  may 
chance  to  be,  one  danger  is  specially  to  be 
avoided — we  must  treat  the  whole  affair  in  the 
dry  style  of  business,  and  be  most  cautious  not 
to  involve  ourselves  in  the  irritation  of  our 
clients.  A  family  dispute  is  one  of  the  rare 
instances  in  which  sluggishness  is  prudential 
on  the  attorney's  part:  he  risks  very  little  in 
the  way  of  credit  by  inactivity,  for  intimate 
friends  or  near  relations  are  extremely  well-dis- 
posed to  reconciliation  after  a  reasonable  time 
to  cool ;  and  then  they  are  well  pleased  that 
matters  have  not  been  hurried  on  to  that  point 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  871 

which  entangles  reconciliation  with  trouble- 
some questions  of  costs.  It  has  been  my 
principle  never  to  issue  a  writ,  or  tile  a  bill, 
between  members  of  the  same  family,  till  I  have 
been  positively  dunned  into  proceeding;  nor 
even  then,  till  every  proposal  of  reference  to 
counsel,  or  to  friends,  has  been  deliberately  and 
advisedly  rejected.  I  may  have  lost  an  equity 
suit  or  two  by  this  extreme  precaution,  but  I 
believe  I  have  never  lost  a  client,  and  often 
saved  a  friend. 

Conjugal  differences  form  a  large  proportion 
of  the  class  of  "  awkward  cases  "  referred  to 
the  family  solicitor;  and  in  cases  of  this  des- 
cription, the  principle  that  I  have  just  laid 
down  must  be  reversed;  they  rarely,  if  ever, 
admit  of  permanent  reconciliation:  indeed  I 
should  say  never,  unless  by  a  happy  chance, 
both  husband  and  wife  are  people  of  good  sense, 
and  the  interests  of  children  are  at  stake ;  it  is 
seldom  however,  when  this  is  the  case,  that 
conjugal  differences  arrive  at  that  point  that 
requires  foreign  interposition.  It  is  true  in 
most  instances,  but  in  conjugal  disputes  the 
rule  has  no  exception,  that  both  sides  are  in 
fault;  the  same  may  be  predicated  of  the  yet 


372  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

more  frequent  quarrels  between  father  and  son, 
where  the  former  is  tenant  for  life,  and  the 
latter  tenant  in  tail ;  a  secret  distrust  of  the 
party  whose  duty  it  is  in  these  domestic  rela- 
tions, to  be  submissive,  is  generally  an  error  on 
the  safe  side,  if  an  error  at  all;  and  conse- 
quently in  listening  to  reciprocal  complaint,  we 
may  fairly  incline  to  the  husband  or  father,  if 
the  dispute  is  so  complicated  as  to  admit  of 
doubt;  it  is  no  trifling  point  to  gain  on  such 
occasions,  to  know  where  the  fault  principally 
lies;  it  may  lead  us  to  the  only  conciliatory 
path,  and  I  need  hardly  observe  that  I  do  not 
write  for  that  unprincipled  man,  who  would 
for  his  own  profit  foment  a  dispute,  where  con- 
eiliation  might  by  possibility  prevent  it.  But 
if  domestic  harmony  appears  hopeless,  then  the 
attorney  must  act  with  decision,  regardless 
whom  he  may  offend ;  and  as  it  frequently 
happens  that  he  is  consulted  by  both  parties, 
his  duty  is  to  act  on  the  first  retainer,  and 
cautiously  to  regulate  all  his  previous  conduct 
hy  the  reflection  that  he  may,  when  all  con- 
ciliation has  failed,  be  called  upon  to  act  pro- 
fessionally for  the  party  that  has  first  consulted 
him.     Under  this  restraint,  he  will   accept  no 


IJ*    SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  373 

confidence  from  the  other,  that  may  place  him 
in  the  painful  dilemma  of  maintaining  good 
faith  to  both. 

The  case  of  all  others  that  demands  the 
greatest  caution  and  address  on  the  attorney's 
part  is  that  of  imputed  infidelity  to  the  conjugal 
vow;  on  whichever  side  the  charge  arises,  it  is 
to  be  received  with  suspicion,  for  it  is  usually 
made  before  it  is  well  -  founded,  and  when  once 
made  it  has  a  direct  tendency  to  substantiate 
itself.  Some  of  the  anecdotes  already  given 
will  abundantly  prove  that  a  conspiracy  may 
exist  between  husband  and  wife  to  victimize  a 
man  worth  "plucking,"  and  the  possibility 
that  this  object  may  have  led  to  those  equivocal 
positions  of  which  the  husband  never  complains 
till  lie  finds  the  conspiracy  defeated,  is  alone  a 
sufficient  reason  to  doubt  his  story,  if  his 
general  reputation  is  questionable.  Many  cir- 
cumstances may  assist  our  judgment  on  this 
point :  habitual  neglect  of  the  wife,  systematic 
desertion  of  domestic  duties,  and  the  parade  of 
what  is  called  fashionable  indifference,  at  the 
same  time  that  a  good  understanding  and  a 
general  outward  decorum  have  been  displayed, 
tend  materially  to  confirm  the  impression  that 


374  ADVENTURES    OP   AN   ATTORNEY 

the  alleged  injury  may  have  been  preconcerted, 
if  not  for  the  purpose  of  victimizing,  at  all 
events  to  afford  the  means  of  legal  separation. 
In  either  of  these  cases,  an  attorney  of  honor- 
able feeling  will  be  very  backward  in  allowing 
himself  to  be  made  the  instrument  of  facilitat- 
ing bis  client's  views;  it  certainly  is  not  his 
business  to  put  himself  forward  as  arbiter  morum 
to  society,  but  he  owes  it  to  himself  not  to  be 
made  subservient  to  purposes  which  society 
condemns.  In  many  cases,  however,  where  there 
is  no  sufficient  reason  to  hang  back  from  regard 
to  his  own  character,  there  is  often  much  hazard 
of  leading  his  client  forward  in  a  course  that 
will  end  in  irreparable  mischief:  where  such  an 
action  fails,  or  is  attended  with  only  partial 
success,  the  peace  of  several  families  is  broken 
for  ever;  and,  what  is  still  more  to  be  lamented, 
the  prospects  and  hopes  of  children  are  for  ever 
blighted.  It  is  the  duty  of  an  attorney,  when 
consulted  in  a  case  of  this  kind,  to  make  him- 
self perfect  master  of  its  demerits,  not  less  than 
its  merits. 

The  first  thing  to  be  considered  in  reference 
to  this  point  is  the  temper  in  which  the  corn- 
plaint  is  made;   and  here  I  may  observe  that 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  375 

jealousy  is  rarely  prominent  where  certainty 
exists;  nor  is  even  violent  excitement  often  ex- 
hibited where  a  settled  conviction  of  conjugal 
guilt  is  entertained;  if  I  see  a  man  actuated  by 
very  strong  and  bitter  feelings,  I  infer,  that 
whatever  ground  he  has  for  suspicion,  it  is  after 
all,  only  suspicion  ;  and  hence  that  my  primary 
duty  is  to  allay  it,  unless  he  discloses  facts  that 
ought  to  be  conclusive  to  an  unbiased  mind,  or 
that  are  too  unequivocal  not  to  call  for  inquiry; 
even  when  this  is  the  case,  that  inquiry  must  be 
conducted  in  the  most  cool  and  dispassionate 
temper.  Artful  servants,  mischief- making 
friends,  and  gossiping  relations,  are, wont  to  put 
the  worst  construction  on  conduct  that  may 
amount  to  no  more  than  thoughtless  levity, 
blameable  but  not  decisive.  The  manner  of 
some  men  is  naturally  emprcssee  towards  females, 
without  any  criminal  motive;  others  from  mere 
foppery  affect  an  air  of"  gallantry,  or  a  tone  of 
sentiment,  which  rightly  interpreted,  means  no 
more  than  that  they  are  thinking  of  themselves 
in  preference  to  any  body  else,  whether  male  or 
female ;  and  often  have  I  seen  this  coquetry  re- 
turned, by  married  women  too,  so  sympathetical- 
ly, thai  plain  matter-of-fact  people  would  set 


876  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

it  down  to  improper  intimacy,  while  others  of 
more  acuteness  or  more  knowledge  of  the  world 
would  only  laugh  at  the  deception  each  party 
was  practicing  on  the  other,  and  probably  on 
himself.  Yet  incidents  and  scenes  like  these  are 
ill-naturedly  treasured  up  by  some  of  the  good 
folks  I  have  mentioned,  and,  when  a  sufficient 
hoard  of  them  is  amassed,  liberally  bestowed 
on  the  "injured  husband,"  as  a  charitable  do- 
nation by  some  pious  friend,  and  like  all  charit- 
able donations,  most  gratefully  accepted :  the 
unfortunate  husband  is  of  course  made  vigilant, 
officious  servants  are  set  upon  to  watch,  and  to 
vindicate  their  claim  to  confidence  tell  twenty 
lies  for  one  word  of  truth ;  the  husband  kicks 
his  wife  out  of  doors  —  loads  his  pistols  —  sends 
for  his  friends — his  friends  for  the  doctor  and  a 
strait  waistcoat — and  after  proper  commotion, 
and  a  decent  interval,  all  hurry  away  to  the 
attorney,  who  without  more  ado,  retains  Ser- 
jeant Wilde,  issues  the  writ,  and  from  that 
moment  all  go  their  own  way  to  the  devil !  In- 
stances sometimes  occur  where  even  less  doubt- 
ful indications  of  guilt  prove  in  the  event  to  be 
utterly  fallacious.  A  gentleman  once  consulted 
me  in  a  case  in  which  with  all  my  distrust  in 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  377 

such  matters  I  could  not  help  arriving  at  his 
conclusion  ;  but  happily  we  discovered  our  error 
in  time  to  avoid  mischief.  He  had  been  inform- 
ed by  one  of  those  pests  of  society,  the  "  lady's 
maid,"  that  his  wife  received  unusual  attention 
from  a  young  clergyman,  who  was  a  frequent 
and  welcome  visitor  at  the  house,  and  moreover 
that  a  clandestine  correspondence  had  long  been 
carried  on  between  them  :  a  "  erood-nigrht  kiss  " 
too  had  twice  been  noticed,  and  duly  comment- 
ed on  below  stairs,  and  sundry  other  little  liber- 
ties of  no  individual  importance,  but  of  large 
aggregate  amount,  proclaimed  a  very  good  un- 
derstanding between  the  parties.  After  much 
uncomfortable  espionage  that  led  to  nothing- 
more  decisive,  the  husband  intercepted  one  of  the 
aforesaid  letters,  and  was  at  once  convinced  of 
his  dishonor.  He  brought  it  to  me  without 
an  hour's  delay;  and  on  the  perusal  of  it,  and 
hearing  of  the  previous  occurrences,  I  quite  con- 
curred in  his  impression  ;  with  his  approbation 
I  immediatly  went  to  the  lady,  to  intimate  the 
necessity  of  her  taking  refuge  with  her  friends. 
I  found  the  fair  one  in  gay  spirits,  seated  on  the 
sofa  with  the  young  gentleman  by  her  side,  and 
her  sister  next  to  him.     I  was  embarrassed  by 


378  ADVENTURES   OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

the  frank  and  cheerful  reception  I  met  with 
from  all  the  trio. 

"You  are  just  come  in  time,  Mr.  Sharpe,  we 
want  your  help."  I  looked  as  grave  as  possible, 
while  I  inquired  the  occasion. 

""We  have  lost  a  love-letter,  Mr.  Sharpe,  and 
Alfred,  here,  is  half  mad  about  it." 

"I  have  it  in  my  pocket,  Ma'am,"  I  replied, 
with  awful  gravity. 

"  Let  me  have  it,  my  good  Sir ;  do  give  it 
me  directly  ;  "  cried  the  sister,  suddenly  jump- 
ing up  from  the  sofa,  and  all  but  offering  to 
search  my  pocket. 

"  Stay,  Caroline;  have  patience  :  Mr.  Sharpe, 
how  did  you  obtain  that  letter  ?  " 

"From  your  husband,  Madam,"  still  main- 
taining the  most  inflexible  severity  of  features, 
but  I  could  not  preserve  it  long ;  they  looked 
at  each  other  at  first  with  some  blushing  con- 
fusion that  confirmed  my  impressions;  but  it 
was  but  momentary,  for  the  next  instant  they 
all  burst  into  uncontrollable  laughter,  and  in 
spite  of  myself,  and  the  serious  matter  that 
brought  me  among  them,  I  laughed  too,  though 
bout  knowing  why.  As  soon  as  she  re- 
covered  herself,    the    lady    quietly    asked   me 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  379 

whether  I  had  read  the  letter,  and  on  telling 
her  that  I  had,  she  inquired  with  playful  anger, 
how  I  dared  to  pry  into  other  people's  corres- 
pondence. 

"Your  husband  desired  me." 
"  And  how  dare  he  presume  to  open  it  ?  " 
"  Because  it  was  addressed  to  you." 
"  So  you  neither  of  you  noticed  the  C  below 
the  seal!    that  letter  is   my  sister's,   Sir;  and 
now  allow  me  to  introduce  you  to  Mr.   and 
Mrs.  Lawrence  ;  they  were  married  a  week  ago, 
and  have  been  engaged  these  six  months ! !  !  " 

I  looked  like  a  fool,  no  doubt;  it  was  clear 
enough  that  the  acuteness  of  woman's  wit 
immediately  penetrated  my  errand,  and  a  man 
never  looks  so  silly  as  when  abashed  by  woman's 
superiority;  the  mystery  was  soon  explained; 
the  clergyman  expected  a  living  from  his  uncle, 
who  fondly  hoped  that  the  youth  would  marry 
his  daughter  for  the  sake  of  the  preferment; 
but  the  pretty  cousin  had  as  little  relish  for  this 
simoniacal  contract  as  the  reverend  swain  him- 
self, for  she  too  had  a  little  affair  of  her  own 
on  hand.  The  marriage  with  Miss  Caroline 
was  kept  secret,  lest  it  should  interfere  with  the 
expected   preferment,  and    the   husband   being 


380  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

next  door  to  an  ass,  was  not  to  be  trusted  with 
it.  The  elopement  of  the  pretty  cousin  a  few 
days  after,  allowed  the  whole  affair  to  be  pub- 
lished. I  only  obtained  my  pardon  from  tin- 
lady  on  condition  that  I  would  remain  to  dinner, 
and  send  to  desire  her  husband's  immediate  re- 
turn :  she  was  bent  on  having  her  revenge,  and 
when  he  entered  she  maliciously  begged  to  intro- 
duce him  to  "her  dear  Alfred,"  giving  him  at 
the  same  time  a  tender  kiss,  that  she  resolutely 
refused  to  the  astonished  conjugal  culprit.  Our 
laugh  at  the  sally  soon  relieved  his  mind,  but 
not  till  he  had  vented  one  or  two  imprecations 
that  would  have  dislocated  the  jaw- bone  of  any 
but  a  true  member  of  the  asinine  fraternity. 

I  have  known  matters  go  farther  than  this, 
and  yet  stop  infinitely  short  of  actual  guilt ; 
but  I  forbear  stating  the  circumstances,  because 
I  should  be  loth  to  run  the  bare  possibility  of 
reviving  painful  retrospect  in  the  minds  of  any 
reader.  Some  among  the  seniors  of  the  profes- 
sion may  be  at  no  loss  to  recall  to  mind  an 
elopement  where  a  locus  penitentice  was  found 
even  in  the  first  stage  to  Dover !  An  attorney 
cannot  be  too  cautious  in  receiving  the  first  state- 
ment of  a  husband's  dishonor,  or  too  doubtful 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  381 

of   the  evidence   by  winch    it   is  proposed  to 
establish  the  fact :  where,  however,  the  proofs 
are  irresistible,  even  there  he  is  not  at  liberty  at 
once  to  bring  the  action.     I  have  already  noticed 
that  in  all  such  affairs,  there  is  assuredly  fault 
on  both  sides.     This  will  always  appear  on  the 
trial  of  the  issue,  if  the  action  is  not  collusive; 
and  then  both  parties  leave  the  court  irretriev- 
ably damaged,  and  the  children,  as  a  matter  of 
course,  are  excluded  from   the  pale  of   society. 
There  is   a   certain    pseudo- fashionable    class, 
where  this  extreme  penalty  may  not  be  exacted, 
because  the  precedent  would  be  inconvenient; 
but  in  every   class  that  lays   claim  to   respecta- 
bility, whether  of  patrician  or  plebeian  rank,  the 
daughter  of   a  divorcee  is  not  favorably  intro- 
duced, I  might  almost  say,  is  barely  tolerated  — 
the  taint,  to  a  certain  extent,  is  hereditary.  I  enter 
not  into  the  moral  question  whether  it  consists 
with   Christian   charity  or  social  policy,  thus 
finally  to  close  the  door  against  the  unfortunate 
woman  who    has  even  once   strayed    from  the 
right  path;  and  yet  more  to  visit  a  parent's  fault 
on  innocent  offspring  —  that  is  no  affair  of  mine: 
but  I  take  the  rule  as  I  find  it;  and  it  seems  to 
me  to  impose  a  very  serious  and  difficult  duty 


382  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

on  the  attorney,  lie  being  usually  the  first  man 
consulted  whose  opinion  is  decisive  on  the 
eourse  to  follow.  Before  he  sanctions  by  his 
advice,  proceedings  of  which  the  consequences 
are  so  terrible  and  so  extensive,  it  becomes  him 
to  satisfy  himself  that  the  exsposure  may  not 
be  shared  by  both  husband  and  wife,  and  thus 
orphanize  their  issue.  It  is  the  more  important 
because  I  have  too  often  seen  that  in  the  im- 
patience of  redress  on  the  one  side,  and  the  eager- 
ness of  self- vindication  on  the  other,  all  parental 
anxiety  is  absorbed  in  selfish  feelings,  and  the 
claims  of  the  infant  are  forgotten  by  those  who 
are  especially  bound  to  protect  them. 

When  I  was  a  very  young  man,  I  was  invited 
by  a  friend  to  dine  with  him  at  an  hotel  at 
Richmond.  He  was  a  married  man,  and  had 
two  children ;  but  he  was  a  gay  man,  though 
maintaining  a  decent  reputation  in  the  world. 
T  met  him  on  the  day  appointed ;  it  was  on  a 
►Sunday  in  the  middle  of  summer.  "We  formed 
a  small  party  of  four,  all  of  us  Cambridge  men. 
We  had  finished  our  dinner,  and  were  drinking 
wine  at  a  window  overlooking  the  river.  Those 
who  are  acquainted  with  the  spot  will  remember 
that  there  is  a  promenade  along  the  top  of  the 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  383 

hill  between  the  Star  and  Garter  and  the  town  : 
our  window  commanded  a  full  view  of  this 
walk.  I  observed  my  friend  exhibit  some 
symptoms  of  painful  surprise,  while  watching 
the  pedestrians ;  and  while  I  was  endeavoring 
to  guess  the  object  that  occasioned  it,  he  sud- 
denly grasped  me  by  the  arm,  led  me  away  into 
an  adjoining  room,  and  exclaimed  with  appa- 
rent agitation,  "  Sharpe,  that  lady  in  the  pink 
bonnet  is  my  wife !  who  the  devil  can  that  be 
with  her  ?  what  can  have  brought  her  here  ?" 
He  took  me  to  a  more  private  place  to  point 
her  out  to  me,  and  I  then  prevailed  on  him  to 
resume  his  seat,  while  I  inquired  about  their 
proceedings.  To  my  amazement  I  discovered 
that  the  lady  had  arrived  unattended,  except  by 
this  gentleman,  at  the  verv  hotel  at  which  we 
were  dining,  they  came  in  a  post-chaise  from 
town,  and  had  ordered  dinner  in  a  private 
room.  My  only  anxiety  was  to  avoid  a  scene, 
and  to  accomplish  this,  I  determined  to  keep 
back  my  discovery,  and  hurry  off  my  friend  as 
speedily  as  possible  in  the  opposite  direetion.  I 
made  an  excuse  for  calling  him  out  of  the  room, 
and  carried  him  to  the  Star  and  Garter,  under 
the  pretense  that  I  had  traced  the  wife  thither. 


884  A  I. VENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

I  then  came  back,  broke  up  the  party,  and 
giving  his  cue  to  the  waiter  to  keep  his  eye  on 
the  guilty  pair,  I  returned  with  my  friend  in  a 
chaise  to  London.  We  settled  on  our  road  that 
in  the  event  of  the  waiter's  information  proving 
conclusive,  the  action  should  be  forthwith 
brought.  On  his  arrival  at  his  own  house,  he 
asked  no  questions,  but  contented  himself  with 
ransacking  her  desk  and  dressing-case  for 
letters,  left  word  that  he  was  going  out  of  town 
that  night,  and  came  to  sleep  at  my  lodgings. 
We  found  two  or  three  notes  suspicious  enough, 
and  the  waiter's  evidence  completed  the  detec- 
tion. I  issued  the  writ,  and  the  usual  steps 
were  taken;  but  all  this  time  I  thought  my 
friend  was  wonderfully  cool  and  easy  about  the 
matter ;  so  much  so,  that  though  I  was  perfectly 
aware  that  there  was  no  affection  in  the  case,  I 
could  not  avoid  some  suspicions  that  there  was 
a  little  underhand  dealing  indicated  by  such 
extreme  philosophy.  The  rencontre  at  Rich- 
mond was  so  singular,  the  meeting  at  the  same 
inn,  my  being  there  in  the  very  nick  of  time, 
the  easy  capture  of  the  letters,  and  the  prompt 
compliance  with  all  my  suggestions,  —  all  com- 
bined to  excite  distrust ;  but   all  my  ingenuity 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  385 

was  exerted  in  vain  to  unravel  the  mystery. 
At  last  I  determined  to  take  him  by  surprise ; 
and  one  day  after  dinner,  for  he  still  remained 
at  my  lodgings,  I  put  the  question  to  him 
broadly, 

"  Owen*,  what  were  you  doing  at  Richmond  ?  " 

"  Entertaining  you." 

"  Yes,  yes  :  but  when  did  you  arrive  there  ?  " 
You  remember  that  you  would  not  ride  down 
with  me,  nor  yet  with  Twisden." 

"  I  went  first  to  order  dinner." 

"  What,  overnight  ?  " 

"  Who  told  you  that  I  spent  the  night  there  ?  '* 

"  The  chambermaid."  (I  only  spoke  on 
speculation,  however.) 

"The  little  jade!  so  she  betrayed  me!  and 
most  likely  told  my  wife  too  !  " 

This  admission,  so  thoughtlessly  made,  was 
enough  for  me.  It  was  clear  that  the  chamber- 
maid knew  it  was  his  wife,  and  she  must  have 
either  known  it  from  himself,  in  anticipation  of 
her  coming,  (for  I  was  certain  she  had  not  seen 
him  after  the  discovery,)  or  she  had  learnt  it  from 
his  wife,  who  must  have  been  aware  that  he  was 
at  the  inn,  though   owing  to  my  precautions 

tbev  had  not  met   there !  in   either   case,   this 
17 


88G  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

rencontre  was  not  unpremeditated,  and  the 
night's  absence  was  still  unexplained.  I  went 
the  next  morning  to  the  opposite  solicitor  :  he 
was  a  very  respectable  man,  in  the  true  sense  of 
the  word.  I  frankly  told  him  my  suspicions, 
after  a  little  conversation  had  assured  me  that 
I  might  confide  in  him,  and  I  found  that  they 
were  shared  by  himself.  On  comparing  notes, 
we  placed  the  matter  out  of  doubt ;  and  on  my 
side,  I  further  discovered  that  Owen  had  an 
illegitimate  family  near  Richmond,  a  fact  with 
which  his  wife  was  familiar.  Under  such 
circumstances,  no  good  could  arise  from  prose- 
cuting the  action,  but  much  evil  to  their  chil- 
dren. We  consulted  friends  on  both  sides, 
hushed  up  the  matter  by  a  deed  of  separation, 
and  there  it  ended. 

It  would  be  profitless  to  multiply  similar 
cases,  though  many  have  come  to  my  know- 
ledge, free  from  collusion  perhaps,  but  where 
both  parties  had,  for  mutual  convenience,  long 
connived  at  each  other's  profligacy.  I  have  ex- 
perienced others  where  the  husband  alone  has 
been  criminal  in  the  legal  acceptation ;  but 
where  the  jealous  fury  and  vindictive  temper  of 
the  wife,  exhibited  prematurely  and  causelessly, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  387 

had  led  to  the  realization  of  guilt  erroneously 
suspected.  I  knew  an  instance  where  I  myself 
advised  a  separation,  to  save  the  wretched 
husband  from  the  repetition  of  an  assault  while 
he  was  sleeping,  such  as  an  incarnate  demon 
alone  could  have  attempted  or  imagined.  A 
suit  for  the  restitution  of  conjugal  rights  was 
threatened.  I  called  on  the  lady's  proctor,  and 
put  him  in  full  possession  of  the  facts.  Familiar 
as  that  branch  of  our  profession  is  with  human 
weakness  in  forms  that  become  atrocious,  he 
would  not  credit  such  an  astounding  disclosure ; 
but  the  petticoat  -  fiend  herself  acknowledged  it, 
and  the  suit  was  of  course  abandoned.  I  have 
said  more  than  enough  to  bear  out  my  position, 
that  in  all  cases  that  occur  between  man  and 
wife,  by  far  the  most  "awkward"  that  ever 
come  under  our  care,  the  first  duty  is  to  inform 
ourselves  of  their  demerits, 


388  ADVENTURES    OB   AN    ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

"You  may  as  well  spread  out  the  unsunned  heaps 
Of  miser's  treasure  by  an  outlaw's  den, 
And  tell  me  it  is  safe,  as  bid  me  hope 
Danger  will  wink  on  opportunity, 
And  let  a  single  helpless  maiden  pass 
Uninjured  in  this  wild  surrounding  waste."  — Comtjs. 

There  is  another  class  of  cases  very  nearly 
allied  to  those  of  conjugal  disputes — the  "  breach 
of  promise"  actions;  the  awkwardness  of  these 
however,  is  very  materially  relieved  to  profes- 
sional men,  by  the  coarseness  of  mind  in  which 
they  have  their  source :  it  is  so  obvious  that  no 
female,  of  even  common  delicacy,  will  ever  allow 
her  fair  name  to  be  placarded  as  the  plaintiff  in 
such  an  action,  that  our  consciences  need  not 
be  very  tender  about  the  propriety  of  acting  for 
her  without  regard  to  consequences:  it  is  not 
necessary  to  be  more  squeamish  than  herself. 
There  are  however,  two  cases  in  which  the 
question  of  propriety  may  fairly  be  discussed  — 
either  where  character  has  been  gravely  attacked, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  389 

as  the  apology  for  inconstancy,  or  where  seduc- 
tion has  been  effected  by  aid  of  a  promise  of 
marriage ;  in  the  one  case,  a  too  confiding  girl 
may  be  reduced  to  beggary,  as  well  as  disgrace 
for  life ;  in  the  other,  not  only  her  feelings,  but 
those  of  honoured  parents,  may  be  outraged. 
Here  it  would  be  false  delicacy  to  submit  in 
silence,  yet  still  much  consideration  is  due,  be- 
fore actually  commencing  hostilities.  To  justi- 
fy them  where  character  has  been  attacked,  we 
must  be  satisfied  that  the  scandal  has  been  made 
in  terms  that  admit  of  little  doubt  of  the  nature 
of  the  imputation  —  that  it  has  been  uttered  in 
a  quarter  where  it  will  obtain  credit — that  it  has 
been  circulated  advisedly,  not  in  momentary 
anger  —  that  the  reputation  of  the  calumniator 
stands  sufficiently  high  for  the  calumny  to  pass 
current,  if  uncontradicted ;  and  above  all,  that 
the  reproach  is  utterly  unfounded. 

The  parents  of  a  young  lady,  in  the  indulgent 
liberality  with  which  that  title  is  now  conceded 
to  every  woman  above  the  rank  of  a  washer- 
woman, came  to  me  with  tears  in  their  eyes,  to 
give  me  instructions  for  an  action,  where  the 
promise  had,  by  their  account,  been  deliberately 
made,  and  heartlessly  broken.     My  best  syin- 


390      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

pathies  were  awakened,  when  I  saw  how  sin- 
cerely they  were  affected,  but  it  did  not  seem  to 
me  that  the  lass  herself  was  equally  eager  for 
the  vindication  of  her  fame ;  in  fact,  while  they 
were  in  tears,  she  was  giggling :  in  their  presence, 
all  was  clear  and  convincing;  but  I  had  the 
opportunity  on  the  following  day,  of  seeing 
her  alone. 

"Well,  Miss  Lipton,  this  is  a  very  vexatious 
matter ;  tell  me  all  about  this  former  lover  of 
your's." 

"Who  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Sharpe?" 

"You  understand  me  very  well;  the  man  that 
Jackson  says  you  went  a  little  too  far  with." 

"I  declare  Mr.  Sharpe,  I  don't  know  what 
you  mean ;  nobody  went  too  far  with  me,  in- 
deed !"  bridling  up,  but  with  a  simper  on  her 
face  that  she  could  not  suppress,  and  looking 
down  as  if  to  hide  it. 

"Very  well,  Miss  Lipton,  it  does  not  much 
matter,  but  before  T  proceed  against  Jackson,  I 
should  like  to  know  the  worst  he  can  say  of 
you." 

"I'm  sure,  Sir,  he  can  say  no  harm  of  me, 
and  I  don't  care  what  he  says;  the  nasty  man 
may  say  what  he   pleases,  he  can't  do  me  no 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  391 

hurt,  nor  Harry  neither!  and  I  must  say  I  think 
it  very  uncivil  of  you,  Sir." 

"Well;  but  how  far  did  'Harry'  go?" 

"Mr.  Sharpe,  I'll  answer  no  more  of  your 
impertinent  questions,  it's  no  business  of  yours, 
Sir,  how  far  he  went !  and  if  Harry  were  here, 
he  wouldn't  suffer  it,  that  he  wouldn't !"  affect- 
ing to  cry,  but  there  were  no  decided  lachry- 
mose symptoms,  beyond  taking  out  the  hand- 
kerchief, so  I  felt  no  alarm. 

"  Then  if  you  won't  tell  me,  Miss  Lipton,  I 
must  conclude  that  Jackson  has  some  ground 
for  complaint." 

"You  may  conclude  what  you  please,  Mr. 
Sharpe,  and  Jackson  may  complain  of  what  he 
pleases,  Sir !  but  Harry  shall  do  as  he  pleases, 
for  if  you  must  know,  we  are  to  be  married  to- 
morrow morning,  before  pa  and  ma  come  home  ! 
so  I  wish  you  good  bye,  Sir." 

And  there  our  colloquy  ended,  and  the  action 
with  it. 

In  the  case  of  seduction  under  promise  of 
marriage,  the  chief,  perhaps  the  only  considera- 
tion, usually  is,  whether  the  defendant  has  the 
means  to  pay  damages ;  it  ought  not  to  be  the 
only  consideration;  for  it  is  no  trifle  to  expose 


392  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNFY 

the  unfortunate  plaintiff  to  the  indurating  pro- 
cesa  of  a  public  exposure  in  a  court  of  law, 
where  counsel  justify  a  brutal  investigation  of 
all  her  past  sins  and  follies,  on  the  ground  that 
duty  to  their  client  warrants  the  exposure ;  an 
excuse  that  is  often  strained  beyond  the  limits 
of  decency  and  humanity  :  nevertheless,  it  does 
occur  that  prudence  or  rather  necessity,  some- 
times compels  us  to  advise  a  client  to  go  through 
this  perilous  ordeal :  it  is  a  terrible  necessity 
that  drives  woman  publicly  to  record  her  frailty 
and  the  illegitimacy  of  her  helpless  offspring, 
in  all  the  journals  of  the  day.  The  attorney 
who  takes  on  himself  the  responsibility  of 
sanctioning  a  step  so  desperate,  ought  at  least 
before  he  passes  the  Rubicon,  to  satisfy  himself 
well,  that  the  plunge  is  not  made  for  nothing. 

And  here  I  must  be  excused  for  saying  a  word 
upon  the  cruel  thoughtlessness  of  juries;  a 
thoughtlessness  as  immoral  in  its  tendency,  as 
it  is  cruel  in  its  operation.  A  young  woman, 
hitherto  of  respectable  character,  and  decent  ex- 
pectations, perhaps  even  of  the  higher  class, 
appears  before  them  in  the  painful  and  degraded 
position  of  a  supplicant  for  redress,  against  a 
man  who  has  seduced  her  by  deceitful  promises, 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  393 

and  then  left  her,  to  maintain  herself  and  an 
innocent    child,   without   even  a  hope  of  ever 
obtaining  independence  by  honorable  marriage, 
—  she  has  alienated  her  friends,  because  she  has 
brought  disgrace  upon  them  —  she  has  deprived 
herself  of    all   opportunity   of    turning    what 
talents  she  may  possess  to  profitable   account, 
because  she  has  lost   her    reputation  —  her  ex- 
penses are  multiplied,  and  daily  increasing,  in 
consequence  of  the  incumbrance  which  her  fall 
has   brought   upon   her — by  the  very  act  of 
soliciting  redress,  she  stamps  the  indelible  im- 
pression of  blighted  fame  upon  herself  and  her 
infant,    though  she  has  no    other   resource  to 
preserve  that  infant  from   starvation  —  and  if 
she  passes  the  investigation,  as  she  often  does, 
otherwise  untainted,  she  affords  fair  presump- 
tive proof  of  the  truth  of  a  position  which  I 
have  often  heard  laid  down,  and  believe  is  true, 
severely   as   I   have   elsewhere    spoken    of  the 
sex,  that   woman's  first  offense  never   springs 
from  a  polluted  mind,  but  from  the  eagerness 
of  a  devoted  heart  to  give  every  proof  of  con- 
fiding  affection.     Such  is  the  case  of  almost 
every  plaintiff  in  an  action  for  breach  of  promise 

attended  by  seduction,  and  such  are  the  circum- 
17" 


o04  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

stances  under  which  she  appeals  to  husbands, 
fathers,  and  brothers,  for  compensation ;  yet 
what  is  the  ordinary  result?  the  tale  of  mis- 
fortune is  heard —  not  with  cordial  sympathy, 
but  with  a  gloating  zest  for  its  indecent  inci- 
dents, and  an  eager  expectation,  ill  suppressed, 
of  the  fun  and  equivoque  that  counsel,  with 
coarseness  worthy  of  his  cause,  may  ingeniously 
provoke  on  cross-examination:  thus  prepared 
for  the  necessarily  cold  and  heartless  judicial 
charge,  they  turn  round  in  their  box  for  a 
scanty  quarter  of  an  hour,  and  after  mutual 
chuckling  over  the  ribaldry  of  the  bar,  and 
pleading  to  their  consciences  the  hackneyed 
recommendation  of  the  judge  to  give  temperate 
and  moderate  damages,  agree  upon  a  verdict  of 
two  or  three  hundred  pounds,  and  go  home  and 
dine,  in  comfortable  complacency  with  each 
other  and  themselves,  for  the  liberal  justice  they 
have  rendered  to  an  injured  female  ! !  !  Xow  I 
will  put  what  may  be  considered  an  extreme 
case,  and  assume  that  the  damages  are  awarded 
at  five  hundred  pounds.  Let  us  calculate  the 
real  value  of  such  a  verdict.  In  the  first  place, 
so  long  as  the  foolish  principle  obtains,  which, 
even  modified  as  it  has  been  of  late  years,  still 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  39£ 

holds  to  a  considerable  extent,  that  a  successful 
party  is  to  recover  no  higher  costs  than  are 
adequate  in  strict  necessity  to  conduct  the  cause 
to  issue  and  judgment,  damages  to  the  amount 
of  £500  will  be  reduced  to  £450  by  extr? 
costs ;  and  if  the  attorney  has  shown  the  zeal 
and  activity  which  he  ought  to  do,  especially 
in  a  cause  of  this  nature,  his  extra  costs  ought 
to  be  much  more  than  fifty  pounds,  in  most 
cases.  Another  deduction  is  to  be  made  for  the 
charge  of  the  plaintiif's  confinement  and  its 
concomitant  expenses  :  these  may  be  moderately 
stated  at  twenty  pounds,  and  if  she  happens  to 
be  in  any  station  of  society  above  the  very 
lowest,  her  temporary  seclusion  for  some  months, 
is  inevitable  to  spare  her  the  torture  of  publicity, 
when  her  frailty  first  becomes  known  :  it  would 
be  difficult  to  reckon  this  at  less  than  thirty 
pounds  more.  Thus  four  hundred  pounds  is 
the  balance  left  to  provide  for  the  unhappy 
woman  and  her  child  ;  and  it  must  be  remem  ■ 
bered  that  this  provision  is  for  life!  from  her 
situation,  it  follows  that  she  cannot  employ  the 
money  in  business,  even  if  she  understands  a 
trade  :  this  compensation  is  the  very  limit  of 
all    her    earthly    prospects;   when    character  is 


306      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY 

gone,  and  friends  are  alienated,  she  can  of 
course  expect  no  more:  it  may  produce  her,  if 
judiciously  invested,  an  annuity  of  twelve  or 
fourteen  shillings  per  week,  and  when  this  fails 
to  support  her,  she  has  but  one  alternative 
—  the  town!  to  this  she  is  eventually  driven, 
not  more  by  the  cruel  faithlessness  of  her  lover, 
than  by  the  cool  indifference  of  her  jury. 
Should  these  pages  ever  reach  the  eyes  of  any 
that  have  been  called  npon  to  measure  damages 
in  these  cases  of  compound  breach  of  faith,  I 
trust  they  will  be  more  liberally  inclined  here- 
after, towards  the  wretched  plaintiff;  and  while 
they  temper  their  verdict  with  moderation,  as 
the  judges  tell  them,  will  also  remember  that 
"  moderation "  is  a  comparative  term ;  a  man 
treads  on  my  spaniel's  toes,  and  I  ask  him  with 
calmness  and  temper,  to  be  more  careful  another 
time ;  but  if  he  insults  my  daughter,  I  think  it 
a  moderate  course  to  kick  him  down  stairs 
though  at  the  risk  of  breaking  his  neck. 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  397 


CHAPTEE   XXV. 

"Nor  can  protection  be  accomplished  as  regards  private  slander, 
unless  the  defense  of  the  injured  character  is  made  so  easy,  safe,  and 
effectual,  that  the  legal  proceeding  shall  not  be  either  loaded  with 
ruinous  expense,  nor  shall  imply  a  consciousness  of  guilt,  nor  shall 
aggravate,  rather  than  remove  the  mischief  done.  In  all  these  par- 
ticulars however,  the  law  of  this  country  is  singularly  defective." 

Brougham's  Speeches.    "Vol.  I. 

In  relation  to  another  topic  I  have  given  an 
instance  of  a  class  of  "awkward  oases,"  so 
common  in  these  days,  that  almost  every  attor- 
ney is  familiar  with  them  :  I  mean  those  which 
arise  in  newspaper  libels.  I  really  think  that 
the  Times,  and  John  BulL  together  with  certain 
other  periodicals  of  less  illustrious  names, 
deserve  the  honor  of  plate  by  subscription 
from  our  learned  body,  for  the  enormous  costs 
to  which  they  have  assisted  us.  I  am  not  cer- 
tain whether  it  be  good  policy  in  an  author  to 
fall  foul  of  the  daily  press ;  it  is  difficult  to  say; 
for  if  sometimes  they  affect  a  magnanimous 
indifference  akin  to  that  of  the  lion  when  the 


398  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

dog  worried  him,  and  gave  a  sort  of  lofty  good- 
humored  growl  that  may  draw  attention  to 
the  ignoble  assailant,  without  injuring  him  by 
a  lash  of  the  tail,  at  other  times,  and  far  more 
frequently,  they  go  on  sleeping  in  proud  and 
pretended  unconsciousness  of  such  unworthy 
enemies ;  their  silence  is  far  more  provoking, 
because  more  mischievous  to  one's  celebrity. 
I  have  been  extremely  amused  sometimes  by 
the  ingenuity  with  which  the  more  witty  and 
learned  of  these  mighty  scribes  contrive  at  once 
to  give  vent  to  their  displeasure,  and  yet  morti- 
fy their  foes  by  contemptuous  suppression  of 
their  assaults.  I  recollect  once  being  at  a  dinner- 
party of  young  men,  none  of  them  contempti- 
ble in  point  of  ability,  and  some  of  them  far 
otherwise.  By  way  of  evening  amusement,  we 
selected  each  our  daily  paper,  and  affecting  the 
tone  of  familiar  acquaintance,  addressed  letters 
to  the  editors  in  such  terms  as  we  considered 
most  likely  to  irritate,  that  we  might  have 
the  pleasure  of  judging  by  their  "  answers  to 
correspondents  "  how  far  we  succeeded  in  pene- 
trating their  anonymous  hides.  At  our  next 
meeting  we  brought  their  various  replies;  they 
were  entertaining,  inasmuch  as  if  their  wit  was 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  399 

somewhat  scanty,  they  at  least  furnished  each 
of  us  with  a  soubriquet  for  the  evening,  that 
afforded  no  little  pleasantry  among  ourselves. 
All  dealt  very  much  in  alliteration,  and  most 
affected  the  laconic.  I  cannot  recollect  the 
whole  of  them,  but  they  were  very  similar,  and 
the  Times  was  especially  nettled,  though  I 
cannot  now  recall  the  cause  of  offense.  "  Old 
Nick  is  a  ninny !  we  know  him  better  than  he 
thinks  we  do ;  we  wish  he  would  send  his  bald- 
erdash to  papers  that  have  more  room  for  it." 
"Bounce  is  a  booby,"  was  the  retort  of  another; 
if  I  remember  right,  it  was  the  Chronicle.  "A 
fool  who  writes  a  clerk- like  hand  may  be 
assured  that  we  were  not  hoaxed  sufficiently  to 
reach  the  second  page  of  his  letter;"  was  John 
Bull's  somewhat  Irish  disclaimer  of  being 
duped.  A  fourth  answered  in  obvious  wrath, 
"Fairplay  looks  as  foolish  as  when  he  was 
dragged  out  of  the  horsepond !  he  forgets  that 
we  were  by ;  we  could  tell  him  all  about  it  if 
necessary !"  It  gave  us  some  gratification  to 
see,  that  even  in  their  mysterious  hiding-places 
these  self-important  worthies  did  not  feel  quite 
comfortable  when  attacked  with  daggers,  as 
pointed  if  not  as  poisonous  as  their  own ;  for 


400  ':>  VENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

there  was  not  one  letter  that  remained  unnoticed, 
nor  one  answer  that  did  not  show  the  eager 
wish  to  throw  back  the  mortification  that  had 
been  inflicted. 

I  must  not  again  however  lose  sight  of  my 
subject.  If  the  law  of  libel  is  open  to  com- 
plaint, I  know  of  no  respect  in  which  it  is  so 
more  justly,  than  that  every  remedy  which  it 
gives  to  an  injured  party  is  of  such  a  nature, 
that  the  adoption  of  it  exposes  him  to  redoubled 
reproach:  hence  every  timorous  or  weak- 
minded  man  is  reduced  to  helpless  and  humiliat- 
ing prostration  before  the  daily  press,  should 
he  unfortunately  provoke  its  enmity,  or  enjoy 
rank  or  office  of  sufficient  importance  to  draw 
hostile  observation  upon  him  :  whether  he 
files  a  criminal  information,  or  indicts  or  brings 
an  action  for  damages,  it  is  all  one ;  take  which 
course  he  will,  he  is  accused  of  a  sinister  motive 
for  not  selecting  another  in  preference,  and 
consciousness  of  guilt  is  good-naturedly  de- 
duced from  either;  nor  is  this  new  imputation 
confined  to  the  paper  that  he  has  attacked  ;  in 
cases  of  libel,  all  the  journals  make  common 
cause  with  their  contemporary,  whatever  may 
i  hance    to    be    their    political,    or    even    their 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  401 

personal  hostility-:  they  seem  to  think  them- 
selves entitled  as  of  obvious  and  undoubted 
right,  to  put  any  man  they  please  on  self-de- 
fense on  oath,  and  when  defeated  in  this  object 
by  the  resolute  refusal  of  their  victim  to  submit 
to  such  tyranny,  the}"  complain  of  the  hardship 
imposed  on  themselves  in  the  discharge  of  their 
public  duty  !  as  if  all  the  world  did  not  know 
that  they  undertake  such  a  duty  voluntarily, 
for  the  best  of  all  possible  reasons,  that  it  re- 
ceives higher  pay  than  any  other  speculation  in 
the  field  of  literature.  To  read  some  of  the 
angry  articles  that  appear  on  these  occa^ious, 
one  would  really  be  tempted  to  imagine  that 
the  proprietors  of  newspapers  were  the  most  ill- 
used  class  in  the  community,  who,  having  out 
of  pure  public  spirit,  undertaken  a  gratuitous 
service  to  their  fellow -subjects,  were  persecuted 
for  their  disinterested  patriotism  !  ! !  Many  of 
them  indeed,  carry  their  assurance  so  far,  that 
they  go  out  of  their  way  to  insinuate  some 
injurious  charge,  and  then  demand  payment  for 
the  contradiction  of  it  as  an  advertisement !  I 
remember  recently  seeing  a  glaring  instance  of 
this,  in  the  Times,  in  a  letter  of  the  joint- soliei- 
tors  of  the  Westminster  Improvement  Companv. 


402  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

Could  the  manager  of  that  journal  "have  over- 
heard some  of  the  very  general  comments  made 
on  this  occasion,  out  of  the  profession  as  well 
as  in  it,  I  doubt  if  he  would  have  felt  much 
flattered  !  It  is  fair  to  observe,  that,  if  far  from 
immaculate,  the  Herald  is  more  exempt  from 
these  libelous  sins  than  any  other  journal  of 
the  day,  and  the  Times,  with  all  its  swaggering 
importance,  seems  far  more  disposed  than  others 
to  allow  fair  play  in  the  way  of  self  -  exculpation 
to  libeled  parties;  but  the  best  of  them  are  an 
ungrateful  set  to  the  very  public  that  supports 
them. 

Common  as  these  libel -cases  are,  they  are 
very  embarrassing  to  professional  men :  it 
certainly  is  far  from  pleasant  to  the  attorney 
himself,  to  become  the  object  of  a  splenetic  and 
vindictive  attack,  which  is  very  likely  to  follow 
if  he  is  successful  against  the  newspaper  which 
he  is  called  upon  to  prosecute ;  but  I  will  do 
my  brethren  the  justice  to  say,  that  I  believe 
there  are  very  few  among  them  so  destitute  of 
moral  courage,  as  to  be  intimidated  in  the  dis- 
charge of  their  duty  by  any  apprehension  of 
such  personal  consequences.  The  real  difficulty 
in  cases  of  this   kind,   springs  from  the  reluc- 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  403 

tance  which  all  men  Lave  to  face  the  public, 
where  custom,  profession,  or  political  pretension 
has  not  rendered  them  indifferent  to  the  en- 
counter. It  is  a  natural  bashfulness,  akin  to 
that  which  cows  a  man  on  his  early  appearance 
as  a  public  speaker.  It  is  difficult  to  overcome 
this  timidity,  even  where  one  is  conscious  that 
it  is  misplaced  and  unreasonable  :  and  yet  it  is 
not  less  an  act  of  kindness,  than  of  legal  duty, 
to  resist  the  indulgence  of  it,  for  it  makes  the 
party  libelled  exquisitely  sensitive  to  the  attack, 
I  have  been  consulted  in  many  cases,  in  which 
my  client  has,  from  morbid  sensibility,  been 
excited  almost  to  madness,  by  some  scurrilous 
insinuation  in  the  public  papers,  and  at  the 
same  time  has  been  ludicrously  stuck  on  the 
horns  of  the  usual  dilemma,  whether  he  should 
not  make  bad  worse,  by  challenging  scrutiny 
into  the  justice  of  the  charge  :  this  apprehension 
always  predominates  in  proportion  to  the 
privacy  of  the  client's  routine  of  life.  A  coun- 
try gentleman,  who,  in  some  unlucky  hour  has 
so  far  lost  discretion,  as  to  take  an  active  part 
in  a  county  election,  in  preference  to  killing 
partridges,  or  more  frequently  a  quiet  clergy- 
man, betrayed  by  ecclesiastical  zeal  into  contro- 


404  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

versy  on  some  question  involving  the  temporal 
interests  of  the  church,  finds  himself  unex- 
pectedly "  shown  up,"  in  a  provincial  journal ; 
private  malice  (and  who  is  without  a  private 
enemy  ?)  assists  the  editor  to  dress  up  a  para- 
graph in  colors  in  which  truth  and  falsehood 
are  intimately  mixed.  In  the  simplicity  of  his 
mind,  the  victim  sends  an  explanation,  candidly 
admitting  the  truth,  and  vainly  endeavoring  to 
separate  it  from  its  base  alloy :  the  admission 
is  published  with  new  and  aggravated  com- 
ments—  the  exculpation  is  suppressed,  because 
"  the  pressure  of  other  matter  precludes  us  from 
giving  more  than  an  extract  from  the  reverend 
gentleman's  letter,  which  we  must  regret,  as  we 
should  have  liked  to  amuse  our  readers"  — 
thus  ridicule  is  added  to  abuse;  the  libel,  if 
pointed,  or  from  circumstance  politically  im- 
portant, is  quoted  by  the  London  press,  as 
illustrative  of  a  public  grievance ;  the  poor 
pastor  solicits  a  contradiction,  and  is  kindly 
assured  that  "  his  explanation  is  an  advertise- 
ment," and  of  course  inadmissible,  unless  paid 
for  at  five  shillings  a  line,  being  the  tithe  of  a 
year's  income.  Meanwhile  he  is  condemned  to 
the  hypocritical  condolences  of  all  his  clerical 


IN    SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  405 

neighbors  —  a  letter  of  fraternal  inquiry  by  his 
diocesan  —  and  a  curtain  lecture  nightly  bv  his 
wife.  The  spirit  of  resistance  is  at  length 
aroused,  he  collects  the  testimonials  of  all  his 
parish — provides  for  to-morrow's  funeral  and 
next  Sunday's  duty  —  huddles  a  clean  shirt  and 
a.  sermon  into  his  carpet-bag,  ties  his  silk 
handkerchief  round  his  neck,  and  bustles  away 
to  town  on  the  top  of  the  coach,  full  of  pious 
indignation,  not  the  less  potent  because  long 
suppressed,  to  consult  his  attorney,  and  restore 
peace  to  his  fire- side,  and  confidence  to  his 
flock.  "Woe  betide  him  if  his  attorney  wants 
sense  or  principle !  in  either  case  his  living  is 
sequestrated  —  his  family  are  thrown  on  the 
parish,  and  he  is  a  degraded  man  for  life  !  Our 
duty  is  to  laugh  away  the  irritation,  give  him 
a  night's  lodging  and  a  good  bottle  of  port,  and 
send  him  safely  back  by  the  next  coach  to  his 
friends. 

But  there  are  cases,  and  far  too  many  of 
them,  that  admit  of  no  conciliatory  arrange- 
ment by  the  consoling  process  of  the  dinner 
table.  Where  personal  honor,  or  professional 
or  official  integrity  is  attacked,  redress  must  be 
sought  by  legal  proceedings;    and   this  more 


406  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

cspcciallv  when  a  false  color  is  ingeniously 
given  to  facts  of  themselves  innocent,  and  when 
strangers  may  be  justified  in  withdrawing  con- 
fidence, if  vindication  is  withheld.  It  is  in 
such  cases  that  the  responsibility  of  advising  is 
most  painfully  felt :  if  it  is  true  that  policy  re- 
quires every  man  who  may  accidentally  be  in- 
volved in  the  affairs  of  public  life,  to  be  at  all 
times  ready  to  meet  a  rigid  investigation  into 
every  act  of  his  existence,  whenever  he  is  chal- 
lenged by  the  daily  press,  (and.  their  doctrines 
on  the  liberty  of  the  press  amount  to  this,)  it  is 
not  less  true  that  a  fearful  responsibility  is 
thrown  upon  the  solicitor  who  has  to  advise  a 
client  how  to  conduct  himself  under  circum- 
stances so  perilous  to  the  most  virtuous.  If  an 
action  for  damages  is  recommended,  the  plain- 
tiff cannot  be  examined,  and  he  is  taunted  with 
consciousness  of  guilt,  because  he  has  not  pre- 
ferred moving  for  a  criminal  information, 
where  he  must  have  purged  himself  by  affidavit. 
If  he  moves  for  an  information,  he  is  exposed 
to  a  similar  taunt  for  not  subjecting  the  value 
of  his  character  to  the  estimate  of  a  jury!  If 
he  takes  neither  course  and  indicts,  as  truth  is 
no  part  of  the  issue,  he  cannot  be  examined  in 


IN    SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  407 

open  court,  unless  by  the  special  connivance  of 
the  judge,  a  connivance  rightly  felt  to  be  extra 
judicial,  and  therefore  rarely  exhibited  :  then 
he  is  challenged  with  availing  himself  of  a 
remedy  that  covers  him  from  the  fire  of  cross- 
examination  ;  and  this  is  the  unfortunate  dilem- 
ma to  which  any  anonymous  libeler  can  reduce 
him  at  pleasure !  It  is  very  true  that  among 
professional  men,  such  taunts  and  insinuations 
are  valued  as  they  deserve,  at  nothing ;  but  the 
world  In  general  is  not  capable  of  such  dis- 
crimination, and  never  will  be.  It  is  through 
this  legal  Scylla  and  Charybdis,  that  we  are 
recmired  to  steer  our  clients  safely,  and  it  is  the 
attorney  who  in  this  hazardous  navigation 
must  always  take  the  helm  :  we  can  receive  but 
little  assurance  from  counsel ;  the  private  feel- 
ings, the  past  history,  the  personal  character 
of  the  party,  are  rarely  known  to  them ;  they 
are  always  strangers  to  our  clients  except  in 
reference  to  the  particular  transaction,  and 
clients  are  rarely  willing  to  repose  such  ex- 
tensive domestic  confidence  in  them.  But  it  is 
by  these  circumstances  only,  that  a  correct 
judgment  can  be  formed.  A  man  of  strong 
nerve,    and    consistent    moral    conduct,    may 


408  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

prudently  be  advised  to  set  publicity  at  defiance, 
while  the  same  course  might  prove  fatal  to  the 
domestic  peace,  and  perhaps  to  the  health  of  a 
timid  man,  or  one  open  to  censure  for  early 
delinquencies  :  even  where  the  plaintiff  himself 
need  not  be  deterred  by  any  personal  considera- 
tions from  submitting  to  the  severest  scrutiny, 
lie  may  be  intimately  connected  by  family  ties, 
with  those  whom  such  scrutiny  may  collaterally 
expose,  and  this  is  a  difficulty  that  counsel  can- 
not appreciate.  It  rests  with  us  therefore,  ex- 
clusively, to  bear  the  weight  of  that  moral 
responsibility  which  is  involved  in  the  exercise 
of  a  legal  discretion  in  cases  of  serious  libel, 
and  hence  I  class  them  among  the  most  difficult 
that  fall  to  our  lot  to  manage. 

It  is  our  duty  in  all  cases  to  form  a  dis- 
passionate judgment  on  the  wrongs  sustained 
by  our  clients,  but  there  is  no  case  in  which 
this  is  so  necessary  as  in  actions  or  prosecutions 
for  libel.  Even  where  language  is  insulting,  no 
three  men  will  be  found  who  exactly  agree  in 
their  measure  of  the  insult;  but  if  the  question 
is  whether  it  is  injurious,  speculation  is  still 
more  at  fault.  I  have  very  often  looked  back 
on  life,  and  when  reflecting  on  the  absurdities 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  409 

&\A  tollies  ot  my  adolescence,  perhaps  in  honesty 

I  should  e&)  of  a  yet  later  period,  I  have  thought 

what  a  blessed  thing  it  is  that  people  have  such 

short  memories   in  every  kthing  that  does  not 

concern  themselves.     If  others  were  to  treasure 

up  our  ridiculous  errors  with  as  much  fidelity 

as  conscience  does,  what  a  set  of  fools  most  of 

us   must  appear !     Such   however,  is  to  every 

man,   his  vast  importance  in  his  own  eyes  that 

in  the  first  ebullitions  of  wrath  provoked  by 

newspaper  libel,  he  concludes  all  the  world  has 

nothing  else  to  think  about,  and  will  think  of 

nothing  else  while  the  present  generation  lasts, 

but  the  ludicrous  figure  which  he  is  made  to 

cut  in  the  columns  of  the  Times,  the  Herald, 

or  the  Chronicle !     He  is  in  no  temper  to  take 

a  just  estimate  of  the  injury,  and  all  his  family 

are  sure  to  sympathize  with  him,  feeling  a  sort 

of  reflected  disgrace  in  the  ridicule  thrown  upon 

their  relative.     Our  province  is  to  provide  the 

scales  for  nicely  weighing  the  injury  committed : 

if  it  is  clear  that  character  is  blemished,  so  long  as 

the  charge  remains  uncontradicted,  that  official 

influence  will  be  diminished,  commercial  credit 

tarnished,  or  professional  income  damaged,  we 

are  warranted  in  advising  a  recourse  to  law : 
18 


410  ADVENTURES    OF   AN    ATTORNEY 

but  in  deciding  these  points,  it  is  our  business 
to  consider  well,  as  in  a  former  case  to  which 
I  have  just  alluded,  whether  the  imputation  is 
not  only  serious,  but  unequivocally  expressed, 
and  prima  facie,  entitled  to  credit  when  proceed- 
ing from  such  a  quarter ;  whether  the  general 
reputation  of  our  client  may  not  stand  too  high 
to  be  affected  by  it ;  whether  he  may  not  have 
himself  provoked  the  slander  by  intemperate 
controversial  language ;  a  charge  to  which  you 
may  be  sure  that  he  will  not  readily  plead  guilty ; 
and  above  all  whether  there  exists  no  color  or 
foundation  for  the  libel.  When  satisfied  on  these 
important  preliminaries,  our  further  advice  must 
be  governed  by  special  circumstances,  such  as  the 
station  and  pursuits  of  the  client;  his  moral 
qualities  and  character,  his  relative  duty  to 
near  connexions,  or  to  superiors  in  office;  the 
position  and  circumstances  of  the  defendant 
should  also  be  taken  into  the  account;  the 
general  respectability  and  influence  of  his 
journal,  and  the  probability  of  a  successful 
issue  proving  efficient  to  restrain  him  from 
further  offense ;  for  many  are  too  wealthy  to  care 
either  for  fine  or  damages,  and  many  so  poor  that 
it  is  a  matter  of  indifference  whether  they  lose 


IN   SEARCH   OF    PRACTICE.  411 

a  verdict  for  twenty  pounds,  or  a  thousand. 
We  must  be  guided  by  such  considerations  in 
electing  between  civil  and  criminal  proceedings, 
and  set  at  defiance  all  taunts  of  having:  made 
our  election  wrong.  It  is  impossible  to  pre- 
scribe general  rules  for  the  exercise  of  discretion 
on  these  occasions ;  all  I  can  say  is,  that  politi- 
cal libels  are  for  the  most  part  better  let  alone ; 
but  if  that  is  impossible,  then  a  criminal  infor- 
mation is  usually  the  safest  course.  An  action 
is  the  most  eligible  proceeding  in  most  cases  of 
private  libel,  but  the  attorney  is  a  fool  positive 
who  brings  his  action  in  any  case,  where  the 
chances  are  even  that  he  only  recovers  nominal 
damages;  his  rapacity  and  roguery  will  be  a 
most  amusing  theme  to  the  judge,  the  jury,  and 
every  body  but  himself;  and  his  bill  will  be 
taxed  to  wind  up  the  farce ! 

Many  of  these  remarks  are  equally  applicable 
to  the  libels  of  private  writers,  though  it  is  only 
in  the  instance  of  newspapers  that  much  difficulty 
of  discretion  occurs :  but  there  is  such  a  thing 
as  being  too  successful  for  the  client's  interest. 
I  recollect  being  instructed  many  years  ago  to 
bring  an  action  for  a  naval  officer  who  had 
been  charged  with  swindling  in  a  letter  address- 


412  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

ed  to  the  Admiralty.  It  was  intimated  to  him 
that  he  must  acquit  himself  of  the  charge  in  a 
court  of  law,  or  be  struck  out  of  the  Navy 
List.  The  action  was  tried  at  the  assizes,  and 
Mr.  Baron  Gurney,  than  whom  there  never 
existed  a  more  able  advocate  at  Nisi  Prius,  was 
his  counsel ;  the  damages  were  laid  at  X500, 
and  we  unluckily  recovered  half;  the  costs  were 
taxed  at  three  hundred  more,  and  the  defendant, 
panic  -  struck  by  this  result,  absconded.  I  found 
out  his  place  of  concealment  in  a  very  singular 
way,  and  laid  a  plan  for  his  caption,  which 
succeeded,  but  not  till  the  fellow  shot  one  man, 
and  stabbed  another  in  the  attempt,  for  which 
a  merciful  jury  convicted  him  of  manslaughter, 
and  an  upright  judge  (Lord  Wynford)  trans- 
ported him  for  life ;  but  my  unfortunate  client, 
though  he  retained  his  rank,  never  recovered  a 
sixpence,  and  soon  after  died  of  a  disorder 
brought  on  by  vexation,  anxiety,  and  disap- 
pointment. The  circumstances  of  this  case 
would  alone  be  sufficient  for  a  romance,  but  I 
have  not  space  for  the  melancholy  and  extraor- 
dinary details  ;  so  extraordinary  that  I  could 
scarcely  hope  to  obtain  credit  for  them,  except 
with   those  who  took  part  in  them,  and   still 


IN    SEARCH    OP    PRACTICE.  413 

survive.  It  was  by  what  is  commonly  called 
good  fortune,  that  I  personally  escaped  the 
danger.  The  defendant  was  secreted  in  a  lonely 
house  at  some  distance  from  town,  that  used  to 
be  frequented  only  a  few  months  previously  by 
the  gang  of  ruffians  who  were  engaged  with 
Thurtell  in  the  plunder  and  murder  of  "Weare. 
At  the  same  time  that  I  was  informed  of  his  place 
of  concealment,  I  was  also  cautioned  that  his 
character  was  desperate,  and  that  he  always 
went  armed.  Apprehending  that  he  was  more 
likely  to  buy  off  the  officer  than  shoot  him,  I 
resolved  to  accompany  him,  to  guard  against 
any  dereliction  of  duty,  and  ordered  a  post- 
chaise.  We  were  both  seated  in  it,  and  the  boy 
had  mounted,  when  I  found  that  my  pistols, 
which  I  had  been  advised  to  take  for  self-  de- 
fense, had  not  been  put  into  the  carriage.  I 
stopped  the  post-boy,  and  desired  my  clerk  to 
fetch  the  mahogany  box  on  my  table.  "What 
is  that,  Sir?"  asked  the  officer.  "Only  my 
dressing-case:  we  may  be  detained  all  night." 
"Dressing-case!"  replied  the  man,  who  on  tak- 
ing it  out  of  my  clerk's  hand,  found  that  it  was 
heavy,  "if  that's  your  fun,  it's  no  go  for  me: 
I'll  have  nothing  to  say  to  such  a  job.     You 


414  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

may  chance  to  get  dressed  to  some  purpose  with 
them  sort  of  tools ;  hut  I  won't  be  shaved  with 
you,  I  promise  you!"  and  out  he  jumped,  in 
spite  of  all  my  expostulations,  and  bolted.  As 
of  course  I  had  myself  no  authority  to  take  the 
defendant,  there  was  no  help  for  it  but  to  dis- 
patch my  clerk  to  the  other  end  of  the  town  in 
search  of  another  officer  who  knew  his  person. 
It  was  so  late  in  the  day  before  he  succeeded, 
that  he  ordered  a  chaise,  and  set  off  with  the 
officer  contrary  to  my  directions,  without  re- 
turning to  me.  Hence  I  knew  nothing  of  the 
catastrophe,  till  long  after  it  was  all  over.  Had 
I  been  present,  I  should  most  probably  have 
been  the  victim ;  for  it  was  principally  against 
me  that  his  vindictive  fury  was'  excited,  and 
being  myself  armed  and  irritable,  I  might  not 
have  been  the  only  one  !  It  was  one  of  those 
merciful  escapes  for  which  I  hope  and  wish  to 
be  forever  grateful  to  an  overruling  Providence. 
Occasions  may  occur  where  it  is  right  for  an 
attorney  to  go  a  little  out  of  his  way  to  protect 
a  client's  interest,  and  this  was  one  of  them : 
but  the  result  proves  that  nothing  short  of 
necessity,  or  a  quasi  necessity,  can  excuse  him 
for  stepping  beyond  the  line  of  professional  duty. 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE..  415 


CHAPTER   XXVI. 

"  Judicls  eat  semper  In  causis  verum  sequi ;  patroni  nonnunquam 
verisimile,  etiam  si  minus  sit  verum,  defendere." 

Cic.  de  Off. 

There  is  yet  another  description  of  "  awk- 
ward cases  "  on  which  I  must  offer  a  short  re- 
mark. As  a  general  maxim,  a  lawyer  is  bound 
to  accept  every  retainer,  or  abandon  business ; 
but  in  our  branch  of  the  profession  it  is  compe- 
tent to  him  to  reject  any  particular  class,  if  he 
avowedly  devotes  himself  to  another.  It  is  not 
very  politic,  however,  to  be  thus  fastidious  with 
old  and  accustomed  clients.  Accidental  cir- 
cumstances early  rendered  me  very  familiar 
with  practice  in  crown  cases ;  but  I  soon  found 
that  though  such  business  is  easily  acquired 
and  by  no  means  unprofitable,  as  I  have  else- 
where shown,  it  does  not  consist  with  a  respec- 
table ambition  to  seek  it.  If  one  who  habitu- 
ally consults  you  is  so  unhappy  as  to  have  a 


il6  ADVENTURES    OF   AN   ATTORNEY 

son  or  a  brother  involved  in  a  criminal  charge, 
it  would  be  rank  cowardice  to  decline  a  retainer 
on  his  behalf,  merely  because  such  employment 
is  not  generally  considered  reputable ;  and  in 
the  motto  which  I  have  prefixed  to  this  chapter, 
we  have  a  high  authority  to  guide  us  in  the 
duty  which  such  a  retainer  imposes.  But  still 
I  would  always  recommend  the  attorney  to 
keep  himself  as  much  in  the  back -ground  as 
possible,  and  to  avoid  all  hazard  of  rendering 
his  name  conspicrous  in  the  police  -  reports. 
This  is  easily  accomplished  by  giving  a  brief 
to  some  Old  Bailey  counsel ;  and  they  are  far 
more  up  to  all  the  tricks  and  manoeuvres  of 
Bow  street  practice  than  the  most  shrewd  and 
dexterous  attorney  can  ever  hope  to  find  him- 
self, where  his  business  of  this  kind  is  only 
casual.  The  disposition  of  the  client  to  deceive 
his  solicitor  is,  as  might  be  expected,  most 
strongly  exhibited  in  cases  of  criminal  accusa- 
tion, though  his  chance  of  being  acquitted 
must  essentially  depend  on  the  sincerity  with 
which  he  confides  in  him.  A  defendant  in  a 
felonious  charge  can  rarely  bring  himself  to 
acknowledge  his  guilt  even  to  a  privileged  con- 
fidant ;  yet  without  a  full  and  frank  explanation 


IN   SEARCH   OF   PRACTICE.  417 

of  all  circumstances,  the  attorney  may  be  taken 
by  surprise,  when  all  precaution  is  too  late,  and 
must  at  all  events  be  deprived  of  the  oppor- 
tunity of  sifting  the  evidence  for  the  prosecu- 
tion. Nor  is  the  innocent  defendant  less  charge- 
able with  this  folly  :  whether  it  is  to  be  ascribed 
to  the  natural  shame  of  being  even  suspected  of 
a  serious  offense  disgraceful  to  character,  or  to 
a  distrust  of  the  zeal  of  the  attorney  when  he 
finds  he  has  an  equivocal  case,  I  cannot  say; 
but  I  have  known  instances  of  xuen,  accused  of 
crime,  when  only  guilty  of  venial  indiscretion, 
who  while  eager  and  loud  in  protesting  their 
innocence,  have  exposed  themselves  to  the  im- 
minent risk  of  a  conviction,  by  withholding  a 
confession  of  those  minor  follies  that  have 
brought  them  under  suspicion  of  guilt.  I  will 
content  myself  with  mentioning  only  one  case 
which  will  serve  to  show  the  value  of  perfect 
candor.  It  occurred  many  years  ago,  in  the 
person  of  a  college  friend  who  had  just  arrived 
in  London,  as  ignorant  of  its  snares  as  a  child 
in  arms.  He  was  occupied  for  some  days  in 
that  most  wearisome  of  all  pursuits,  —  lodging- 
hunting.     In  one  of  his  morning  excursions, 

he  entered  a  respectable -looking  house,   over 
18* 


418  ADVENTURES    OP   AN   ATTORNEY 

which  he  was  shown  by  a  young  female  of  very 
forward  and  flippant  manners.  He  thought- 
lessly entered  into  familiar  conversation  with 
her,  not  very  likely  of  the  most  decorous  kind, 
when  the  artful  hussey  ran  out  of  the  room, 
screaming  violently  for  help,  till  her  cries 
brought  up  a  man  to  her  assistance,  who,  with- 
out more  ceremony,  laid  hands  on  the  supposed 
culprit,  and  detained  him  while  he  sent  out  the 
girl  for  an  officer !  It  was  in  vain  that  he  ex- 
plained and  protested :  he  was  carried  off  in 
custody  on  a  charge  of  attempting  a  criminal 
assault,  and  the  only  indulgence  granted  to  him 
was  to  send  a  messenger  for  me,  before  he  was 
taken  to  the  bar  of  the  police  office.  He  told 
me  frankly  all  that  had  passed ;  and  as  I  knew 
him  to  be  a  man  of  veracity,  and  he  had 
admitted  enough  to  lay  himself  open  to  re- 
proach, though  not  to  accusation,  I  thought 
the  best  way  was  to  compromise  the  matter. 
The  girl  of  course,  was  impracticable :  but  I 
applied  to  the  man,  and  he  had  the  impudence 
to  ask  a  hundred  pounds  !  To  obtain  time  for 
inquiry,  T  affected  to  listen  to  him,  and  left  my 
friend  in  custody  all  night,  while  I  spent  the 
time  in  inquiries  about  the  house  and  its  worthy 


IN   SEARCH    OF   PRACTICE.  419 

inmates  ;  nor  was  it  spent  in  vain.  The  land- 
lord of  the  scoundrel,  though  I  believe  he  was 
fully  cognizant  of  his  tenant's  character,  entered 
warmly  into  the  matter,  personally  undertook 
the  negotiation,  and  effected  my  friend's  release 
for  five  pounds.  I  afterwards  was  informed, 
how  truly  I  cannot  say,  that  it  was  not  the 
first  nor  the  second  occasion  on  which  this 
precious  pair  had  played  the  same  game  success- 
fully !  Had  my  friend  kept  back  his  folly  from 
me,  such  as  it  really  was,  I  should  have  advised 
him  to  face  it  out,  and  the  advice  would  have 
been  hazardous,  to  say  the  least  of  it!  had 
nothing  worse  followed,  he  would  have  been 
stigmatized  for  life  by  the  publicity  of  a  police 
report,  nor  would  a  subsequent  acquittal  at  the 
Old  Bailey  have  much  mended  the  matter,  in 
point  of  reputation.  An  attorney  is  bound  to 
make  the  best  of  his  client's  case,  whether  £-uilt\ 
or  innocent;  but  I  think  he  is  always  justified 
in  throwing  it  up,  when  he  has  reason  to  believe 
that  his  client  is  withholding  full  confidence. 

If  I  were  to  follow  up  my  subject  to  its  full 
extent,  I  should  fill  another  volume;  and  my 
publisher  already  complains  of  the  length  of 
this.     The  dilemmas  in  which  we  find  ourselves 


420  ADVENTURES    OF    AN    ATTORNEY 

in  entangled  family  settlements  —  in  arranging 
the  affairs  of  half- ruined  men  of  rank  —  in 
winding  up  a  bankrupt  estate  —  in  negotiating 
the  compromise  of  election  petitions,  or  in 
prosecuting  or  defending  them  —  in  soliciting 
private  hills  —  in  seeking  redress  for  colonial 
grievances  —  are  so  various,  and  yet  so  perplex- 
ing, that  each  head  deserves  not  only  a  chapter, 
but  a  volume  for  itself;  and  though  perhaps  I 
have  only  yet  run  half  my  course,  I  could 
readily  find  materials  in  my  own  office,  without 
going  further,  to  fill  that  volume.  But  my 
intelligent  reader  will  perceive  that  all  profes- 
sional difficulties  of  the  kind  resolve  themselves 
into  that  inexperience  of  human  character,  as 
it  is  exhibited  in  the  intercourse  of  the  busy 
world,  which  is  common  to  us  all  in  early  life : 
as  soon  as  we  acquire  an  insight  into  the 
workings  of  passion  and  of  complicated  motive, 
in  those  with  whom  we  have  to  deal,  it  is  easy 
so  to  regulate  our  own  behaviour  as  not  only 
to  avoid  offense,  but  accpaire  that  sober  in- 
fluence which  every  solicitor  ought  to  possess 
with  his  clients.  Some  indeed  are  so  head- 
strong, so  irritable,  and  so  impracticable,  as  to 
set  all  management  at  defiance.     Some,  again, 


IN   SEARCH    OF    PRACTICE.  421 

are  so  narrow-minded  and  illiberal  as  to  pre- 
sume on  the  obligation  which  they  conceive 
that  they  impose  by  employing  us,  and  will,  if 
not  courteously  made  sensible  of  their  mistake, 
attempt  to  extort  unbecoming  service  or  sub- 
mission ultra  the  value  of  any  costs  they  pay. 
This  is  a  failing  more  especially  frequent  with 
those  whom  I  have  formerly  described  as  collec- 
tive clients.  When  our  adverse  fortune  brings 
us  in  contact  with  clients  of  this  description, 
if  we  can  afford  to  dispense  with  them,  the 
sooner  we  do  so  the  better ;  if  we  cannot,  self- 
respect  must  not  be  sacrificed  to  profit ;  for  if 
it  is,  we  shall  still  fail  in  extending  or  strength- 
ening our  connexion.  But  it  is  impossible  to 
advise  any  man  how  far  or  in  what  way  he 
may  prudently  assert  his  independence :  he 
must  be  guided  by  circumstances,  and  trust  to 
his  own  natural  address.  My  object  has  been 
to  illustrate  character,  as  usually  exhibited  by 
clients  in  their  intercourse  with  us,  and  thereby 
to  furnish  a  clue  that  may  extricate  any  man 
of  common  sense  from  the  worse  than  Daedalian 
labyrinths  of  our  profession.  The  longer  I 
live  in  that  profession,  however,  the  more  I  am 
convinced  that  straight  forward  dealing,  and 


422      ADVENTURES  OF  AN  ATTORNEY. 

honorable  consistency  of  principle,  go  farther 
to  smooth  our  path  and  preserve  us  from  un- 
seen dangers,  than  all  the  address  and  all  the 
shrewdness  that  knowledge  of  the  world  can 
give;  and  these  are  qualities  to  be  derived  from 
a  higher  source  than  the  experimental  cautions 
of  a  stranger,  or  they  will  never  be  acquired  at 
all;  I  cannot  conclude  better  than  with  a 
quotation  from  one  who  was  no  inexperienced 
teacher,  though  we  rarely  take  our  practical 
lessons  from  the  pages  of  ancient  philosophy. 

"  Nam  certe  neque  intelligentiam  concesseris 
iis,  qui  proposita  honestorum  ac  turpium  via, 
pejorem  sequi  malint ;  neque  prudentiam  iis, 
qui  in  gravissimas,  frequenter  legum,  semper 
vero  malae  conscientise,  poenas,  a  semetipsis  im- 
proviso  rerum  exitu  inducantur."  —  Quinctil. 


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